I'm in a state where my mind is, for lack of a better word, cramped. I initially attributed this to my latest class, Business Law. It was a challenge for me initially as I was not familiar with the concepts. I regret not taking more law classes in college. My brain had to "work" for once, haha.

So, when earlier this week, I kept thinking my brain was a bit tired. I started up a new class though...pretty relentless this MBA thing, heh.

I made an error at work tonight, one that could have been avoided had I paid attention. I didn't kill myself over it, but berated myself enough in the sense that I'm better than that. Recently, (heck, it could have been yesterday, haha) I've come to notice that not only would I be learning a lot of new concepts--I would be learning more about myself as a person, and I would grow and change. Anyway, I made a mistake at work. I knew better, should have paid attention.

I need to grow. I need to adapt, improve. I can't sit back and just let things go. Not that I'm going to start micromanaging every aspect, but I'm growing more aware that there are aspects of my work (and personal) life that I need to change.

So, I started thinking as I drove away in the early hours of the morning. I like working at nights. It's quiet. I can think. Or try to think. I was sitting here, logged into class, and trying to convince myself to do some work. I can, but I'm trying to sort myself out first. While thinking, I thought to myself that this complete mind fuzz or whatever it is that I'm experiencing wasn't some sort of emotional crisis. I'm not having a big hubbub about some guy that I know. No drama, really.

Right whenI thought that, I found I did have some sort of worry. Suppressed, I guess. In the past couple of days, I daydream. A lot. I look to a life where I'm happy--where I'm doing something that I enjoy. My next thought was that I'm doing the MBA to have an opportunity to get in that sort of position. THEN i thought, WHAT is that position?

That was my issue. Or, I felt I hit a bit of a watershed there. What SPECIFICALLY do I want to do? I'm full of vague dreams. Sounds good, but yeah, how do you get to somewhere that you yourself are not sure where that somewhere is? (Sorry if that's confusing). Or career. I really need to think of what I would love to do. I'm going to have this MBA. Just what I'm going to do with it? Not quite sure yet.

I'm always afraid of being stuck in a position where I'd rather not be, and to be unable to get out of it.

Yeah, there's always prayer, and I am trust me, but some legwork and brainwork is required after all.


Anyway, ah, sorry if that was a bit prolonged? I sort of needed to get some of that out. Brain is still a bit cramped, but I think we're making progress. :)

HAI.

I'm typing on a clean Mac keyboard, and that makes me happy.

I'm moving on 6 months on my job, and that's good. I'm looking for a car on craig's list. Parents are on vaca on the mainland. I hope they're having loads of fun. :D

Today was nice and chill. I didn't cut my hair yet, b/c I don't know exactly what to do with it. Same thing with my life, haha. Ah, somethings don't change...

Well, have to finish cleaning and hang the clothes up in the closet. Hope you guys are having a nice weekend!

-Juvs

Well, on the tailend of the vacation.

Packing.

I'm at the sister's house, getting stuff into a suitcase that I bought from Big Lots because shipping stuff home is too danged expensive. I should've checked the Post Office. Oh wells.

It'll be fun taking a suitcase on the "El" Train...The Metra shouldn't be as bad, though.

It's been a nice week and a half. Going to Chicago, seeing friends, seeing sights, seeing Wicked, seeing Interpol. Then, going to Richmond, missing 2 flights on the way, seeing family, seeing the nephews, picking pumpkins. :D

It's been a jampacked week and a half. Met some way awesome people along the way, and had an awesomer time.

I'll do a bit of a recap later, but I need to go about and make sure I didn't forget to pack anything...

Hawaii, I'll see you soon. :)

Well, pretty excited. I am leaving for Chicago tomorrow. I'm not even packed yet, lol. Anyway, does anybody want something? I'll try to wrangle up some keychains. ;)

Wicked on Sunday, Interpol on Thursday. Sweet.

I was looking at Post Secret's website. I thought I'd put something in like, "I want what I know I cannot have." Then I thought. What? Who the eff is telling me that load of crap? I mean, within reasonable means, I can get what I want. I mean, I should. Or else, I am stuck with what I don't want. And I don't want my life to be full of 'DO NOT WANT' moments.

I'm pretty sure I will stay in Hawaii a little longer. I work at a temp in the proof dept. at American Savings Bank here, and have been for almost 8 months. I do like it a lot. The job is straightforward, i get along with everybody, and I don't do phones. Haha. I knew Dale (the supervisor) was interviewing a number of people, so I thought I'd ask what would happen if I applied.

Basically, the length of time that I have worked for ASB so far will be credited to my hours if I became a permanent employee. So, as soon as I get hired, my 8 months or so of employment will count as 8 months as a permanent employee. Which means I can still (if everything works out) get vacation in October so I can still hit that Interpol concert. However, I will not be able to go to the P.I. in December. I might be able to negotiate a higher rate of pay as well, since I know the job and all that. I would have to check into when the benefits kick in, but if I don't have to wait 6 months for the dental to kick in, that would be awesome. I should be able to get it right away.

I heard the ASB HR department takes a while, so I asked Dale how long it would take if I applied. He said I could get hired in a week.

So, I really need to truly decide on staying or not. And things look good for staying, as far as my goal of reaching NYC is concerned. I'm pretty excited.

Oh. And I asked Dale if I could go to that midnight release of Deathly Hallows. I totally can. :D I can't go to the Shins concert, however. :( That would be the sucky part of the job. I have to conform to the Company policy as far as vacation goes. Oh, well. Haha.

I'm sitting here, fresh from a trip up to the DC area and I'm surprised that this trip has gone by so fast! I'm flying back to Hawaii this Thursday. I'm sad and excited at the same time. I think I've subconsciously made a decision on moving. I just need a lot of prayer and other things to truly go on with it. I have peace though.

But wow. I have a ton of pictures and a lot of good times. I've met new people, reunited with a lot of old friends and made some awesome memories, like the wicked huge gust of wind/dust devil that whipped around the Lincoln Memorial yesterday.

Oh, and I have been in an IKEA and it was good.

Woo!

Well, still doing some last minute packing, but just wanted to say that I'm leaviing Hawaii. Pretty excited to be reunited with my sister and her family, as well as old friends in South Carolina and other places. :D

I'll still be checking MySpace and stuff, so this won't be a complete blackout. :D

To my Hawaii friends, I'll see ya in a month. :D

Well, kiddies, the countdown to Juvy's arrival to the mainland is under 10 days! I was a bit surprised, to be honest! I put off planning things until after the Easter program, and was like, WHOA!

Anyway, I'm just putting out an open offer to those in Greenville, SC. If you want anything from Hawaii, please let me know, and I will try and get it for you. Pineapple? Coffee? A hot Hawaiian guy/girl? (lol)

Comment to me here, call me (808) 741-7517, or email. I'll definitely go shopping for the stuff this weekend, My flight isn't until 9pm on 4/25, so I have at least till 5-6pm to get stuff.

So, no shame! Just ask!

(Oh, and if you want something, but you're not from SC, ask anyway. I can still mail stuff. Not the pineapple, though. I don't think that's allowed.)

Yep. 'Tis official, folks. Just bought the ticket. I'm going to be flying into Richmond, VA actually (my sister lives there). I'm still making plans as far as Greenville goes.

I will be on the mainland from April 26th-May 31st.

I plan on being in G-ville at least the first week or two. Rest of the time I will be in Richmond.

I may come about and ask if I can stay at your place, so I hope you don't mind. I will pay for food and stuff!

But like I said, the G-ville part of the trip is still in the planning stages, although it is definite that I will come. :D

I would like to walk onto the BJU campus looking like a student and get a demerit and find my name posted on the wall. :) Might be too late for that though....

Anyway...just letting you all know. :D

-Juvs