I'm crazy - I know how it works but I still make errors.  My life has been changing and yet I sit frozen scared to make a change.  I wonder how it went wrong and who's to blame, I try and motivate myself but I can't find a direction.  But then something happens and you run.  You run around looking for new cheese in the maze of life that had you sitting around you for so long dazed and confused.  I haven't found it yet but I know it's out there and I won't find it sitting around doing nothing!

I have moved on...honest. I'm happily married and have just been blessed with a new child. I'm excited about the start rehearsals for Our House. Yet, when people mention X Factor it is like i've got heart burn, like meeting an ex-girlfriend who had run off with your best friend.

I received a letter today and thought I'd share it.

Hi steve
could you please tell me how you got auditioned for the show please. I took my 14 yr old son on saturday to manchester auditions and this was the biggest rip off I have ever known, no one was interested in talent just crowd shots for the cameras, there was almost rioting in the stands due to dis-organisation, young girls crying etc, the cameras had all gone once they got what they wanted, and they tried to hurd us all through as quickly as poss after that, I feel such a fool I,m always so careful about been ripped off. So I looked you up on the internet as a lot of people are asking "what happened to that steve who won" well now I'v been and seen the scam for myself I dont blame you for standing your ground about your own music been recorded and I think you should let everyone know your side again cos you will have a lot more people backing you now as thousands have now seen what really goes on at the fake x-factor auditions.
my son has got over it as I did read a lot of comments on the internet before we went so I pre warned my son before we went, but it was still worse than I thought, and he was so stressed about going to school on monday for fear of ridicule, but he got through it, I'm so mad. I just thought I'd let you know how many thousands now think like me, a once lover and believer of the show, and I hope you can take advantage of this like they tried with you. all the best to you and your family mr steve
Mrs H



One day you will meet that ex-girlfriend and you'll smile and from the bottom of your heart you'll be glad they are married you're best friend and they are happy. I'm not at that point yet.

I'll be writing a review. Please wait to read it before you waste money going to see
No Country For Old Men.

If you do go and see it, the good guy dies, the bad guy doesn't and nothing else happens. It's a collection of fairly good scenes stuck together. A MIRAMAX movie. MIRAMAX is owned by DISNEY and gets ONE in THREE Oscar dominations. Film lobbying is a real problem and this movie has proved just how bad it is.

One particularly annoying scene is when the good guy tries to get back into the USA from the Mexican border. The border guard gives him a hard time but when they start talking about serving in Vietnam the political message of border controls and patriotism is evident beyond belief. The only things missing is a strategically placed bottle of Bud and the Stars and Stripes.

The movie leaves you totally numb. You don't care who lives, who dies, who wins and who loses. Then the film ends and when you come to your senses you realise you lost 2 hours of your life and £8.00 and that doesn't include popcorn...POPCON more like (another time)

The Winner is ultimately MIRAMAX. I don't think I'll bother with the review. 'I did not care for this movie. It insists upon itself' as Peter Griffin would say.

In the meantime I suggest you see a french film that should have won more that just 'Best Actress'. ' La Vie En Rose' is a seriously good movie.

I was very surprised that Alan Carr had a dig with Louis Walsh on his show making a joke that I am now delivering Pizza. I thought he was funnier than that... (actually I really thought he got by on his looks). The old gag about famous people now flipping burgers or delivering pizza has become a staple diet to the tv diner. A throw away line to a throw away society which is being fed junk happy meals of humour.

I'm not disappointed that the joke was on me... it was just that it wasn't that funny. A bloke comes out with that sort of one liner every friday night in a pub in Crawley. Surely our celebrated comedians can do better? Thank godness for Stephen Fry and Q.I.

Alan could be let off for his humour by-pass if it wan't meant to be funny. Just to have a dig with one of Cowell's buddies at the guy who wouldn't play the SUCK UP to the millionaire game... or was it just two kids having a dig at the boy who wouldn't share the crisps. I like to think it wasn't bullying just a familiar story of poor joke writing.

I was branded a flop back in 2005 weeks after a number one album - It's now 2008. Surely, Alan Carr could come up with a better quip at my expense.

Come on Alan take the piss - but make people piss themselves laughing (a little trickle will do).

Meanwhile, Tim Firth's OUR HOUSE UK tour opens in Birmingham in May... don't ask who's serving the ice cream in the intervals.

MUSICAL MADNESS FOR X-FACTOR WINNER STEVE

He's famous as the first winner of the UK's biggest talent search and for falling out with its creator, Simon Cowell. Now Steve Brookstein will be centre stage once again appearing in the award-winning musical Our House at Birmingham Repertory Theatre from May 29^th - June 21^st.

Written by Tim Firth, the musical uses the music of Madness to tell the story of youngster Joe Casey, with Steve Brookstein appearing as his Dad.  And Steve is thrilled to be making his first appearance in a musical:

"On the X Factor I was singing in front of millions of viewers every week, but I can't wait to be singing live in front of an audience in Birmingham every night," he says.  "You get so much back from people, it's the best feeling in the world and where I feel really at home.  Acting is an exciting new challenge for me and it's great to show what I can do.  Our House is a fabulous story and it uses the fantastic music of Madness - what more could you want for a great night out."

Our House will open at The REP in May ahead of a major UK tour. A touching tale of life and love, heartbreak and comedy, right and wrong, Our House is a brilliant musical bursting with non-stop classic hits from everyone's favourite 80s pop group, Madness.

The musical was a hit in the West End and won the Olivier Award for Best New Musical. It features the Madness hits My Girl, Wings of a Dove, Baggy Trousers, House of Fun, Driving In My Car and of course, It Must Be Love.

Tickets are on sale now and available from 0121 236 4455 or www.birmingham-rep.co.uk

Saturday the 15th of december was the night of the X Factor Final. It was also a night that I did a gig down at the Pizza Express Jazz club in Maidstone. A small audience were there and the sound on stage was fantastic. I wasn't pleased with the sound check..it was just ok, but come the night I loved the sound.  The night was good, we could have been tighter but overall a positive night.

I was shocked to read today in Now Magazine that I had BLASTED this year's winner Leon.  The night was light hearted and I had joked that the standard was not that good this year on The X Factor, I had also said that I wished Leon well and thought he had a really good tone to his voice.  I'm actually more shocked that The Mirror and Now Mag had reporters following me around at a jazz bar in Maidstone! According to these guys I was a flop, back singing in pubs yet they still feel the need to follow me down to Kent.

I feel like I've been made to look like a nasty piece of work when the evening was anything but. I can't understand why the national tabloids refuse to let me just do my own thing. I think the people in the audience understood I was just joking, anyone with half a brain know that you can't take the X factor seriously now.

When Graham Norton jokes with Louis Walsh on national tv, 'The X Factor this year...they're all shit!' it gets a laugh. but when I say something to a few people in a small club in the middle of nowhere (with no press invited) I get mis-quoted and I'm then immediately ridiculed (yet again) in The Mirror and Now Magazine

..and people wonder why I don't do that many gigs. 

Sorry,  I feel a career change coming.

 

 

 

There are no signs of the anti-Steve propaganda easing up after more lies where printed in The Sun.  Steve was last seen doing a duet with BBC Jazz singer of the Year, Ian Shaw in London's Spice Of Life but according to the Sun it was on a ferry with Chico.  The tabloid paper which has close connections with Cowell's PR said Steve's album was released 5 weeks after the single when infact it was 5 MONTHS!  Which at the time Cowell admitted was a big mistake.click here for cowell propaganda

 

I was dropped just 12 weeks after my album went to number one. I never received a £1million record deal which has never been reported. 

 

Quote of the day,

Marge ' you know, Homer, it's very easy to criticise.'

Homer,' Fun too.'

The last few weeks have been most interesting if you've not seen Big Brother the following will mean nothing. I have found myself cursing Jade and her fellow bullies and getting caught up with all the hoo-ha. I then read the Daily Mail it made me wonder.

Yes, Jade is a replusive woman who could possibly be racist. However, she is a product of her parents, society and the media. I don't feel sorry for her as she has reportedly made so much money and has never thought about improving herself on a mental level. She is as thick now as she was back in 2002. Only now she has even more attitude.

But is this really about bringing Jade down? Or even racism? Bullying seems to be taking a back seat and when the jury sit and find Jade 'Not Guilty' The bulling that she has handed will be forgotten.

The tabloids are more concerned with anti Channel 4 and BIg Brother crusade. According to the right wingers at The Daily Mail, they are using all this just to rake in the money.

The press have gone over the top about the racism issue here. Channel Four should be appaulded for bringing these human frailties to light.

It is for the greater good that we discuss it and try to improve the way we interact.

So as I read The Daily Mail today, I realised there is a bigger picture. It appears that TV stations, Magazines, PR companies and even politicians scrammbling for themselves for a position of power. A new term has come to my attention, 'Blame Storming' where a group sit down and discuss how things have gone wrong and who's fault it is. The media are the ones who can point the fingers but if this there fault, what then?

'Conspiracy theory' is mocked, liberals are indecisive, rudeness is now 'just being honest', and once again the press have managed to push the race issue to the front page and it's only JANUARY 2007.

Divide and control, a nation living in fear and all the time we make money from selling arms peace will never truely be ours.

The likes of Jade Goody and I must sadly admit myself, we are just cannon fodder. That's the reality.

July 2007 Danielle will be doing documentary on 'How to eat with your fingers' and Jade will be on a good will trip to India. Arnie will be president and another man with nothing to live for without a his wife and children will blow himself and in a Baghdad market killing some other guy's wife and children.  

Happy new year, make a difference.

Vote for a government not a celebrity, it costs you nothing.

 

Well,

I've not done an update for a month!!!! I knew it, all good intentions then...crap!

We are close to finishing the album. I've got so much to do that i don't know where to start. Wedding plans, get a kilt, stag weekend, gig rehearsals, gym, bills, album oh...and to top it all the World Cup, which obviously takes priority. C'mon England...oh and good luck USA (few fans over there now)

Eileen is in New York. She got a gig over there. They flew her over cos they wanted her. Cool huh? She's signing to my record label. I can't wait to get her album out there it's gonna do well, i have a feeling in my water.

I'm still a fat bastard. I'm nearly 2 stone over weight!

Diet starts again today! but how do i resist the chocolate? football, coffee and a bar of Green and Black is all i need. I still think i'm suffering from depression. I have all the symptoms. I'm grumpy, don't want to go out, lazy and over eat. In the old days i'd be called a lazy, fat bastard but now i have an excuse....depression.

As soon as you acknowledge you have depression you suddenly don't feel depressed. You feel like a lazy fat bastard!

Right it's june, i must get on. I'm going to practice today, get my set together for the 606 and start planning the set for the tour. I'm in the last chance saloon..oh i have even talked about why 'fighting butterflies' is the single and not 'this love is alive' or 'all turned out nice again'

i'll do that tomorrow!

 

 

if you want to comment on my diary feel free to do it here. Sorry but i won't answer questions but may adress them in my diary.