I was just looking at that "YouTube" website and somehow ended up at Nine Inch Nails' official YouTube page. I'm usually pretty slow to catch on to things, but I noticed that they let you totally customize your page now with exciting color schemes and/or background images and/or that kind of happy crappy horseshit.  Naturally, I was overcome with rapture (which, by the way, doesn't mix well with nausea, so I had to go throw up some).

Anyway, I thought you might, for whatever reason, care that I have ripped off Nine Inch Nails by customizing my own YouTube page:

Hyperlink to Meathead's YouTube Page

I think after all the times Trent has ripped me off, it's only fair.

    You're welcome.

It is very important to be around sheep as much as you can. You should hang out around sheep. You can find people who will let you come to their place by talking to 4H members. Contact your agricultural extension agent and ask him for names of people who own sheep. Go to local fairs where sheep are shown and talk to the owners. Attend the Sheep and Wool Festival. Talk to people about visiting their farms or contact people who are listed in the catalog. Talk to people at clinics and trials and perhaps some of those people will let you visit their place or will have friends who don't mind visitors. Use the Internet to find out about sheep, farmers, and general herding info. Don't forget to talk to your instructor and other students. They may know people who will let you hang out around their sheep.

Good luck finding sheep.

Stop it.

If you have the opportunity, I highly suggest watching the independent film "Locusts: The 8th Plague" currently playing on the Sci-Fi channel. It's a very well done look at what would happen if the world was overtaken by crappy CGI insects, and Dan Cortese is in it.

You know that guy Richard Gere?  The gray-haired actor who was in like 80 movies with Julia Roberts?  Yeah, you know him.  I thought I did, too. I'd occasionally see movie posters with his picture on them, and I'd immediately think "Hey, that's Richard Gere." I knew that he apparently boffed Cindy Crawford back when she was still hot.When I heard the well-known story about Richard Gere enjoying the sensation of a small animal struggling for air while lodged deep within his anal cavity, I replied that I did in fact recognize that name, and was able to mentally connect it with the aforementioned movie posters.  I figured that my Richard Gere knowledge was on par with that of the average person who doesn't really give a shit one way or the other about him.  Each night I went to bed secure in the belief that I had a pretty good idea of who Richard Gere is.  Boy, was I wrong!  This morning, my entire world was shattered by the following quote, which is currently on my personalized Google desktop:

"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe." -Richard Gere

Wow. It's still taking a while for this to totally sink in.  I guess I'm still in shock.  I feel like my life has now been split into two parts: the time when I thought I knew who Richard Gere was, and now, as I'm faced with the harsh, terrifying reality that I KNOW NOTHING AT ALL ABOUT RICHARD GERE.  Hell, I don't even know if he's human anymore! What a mindfuck.

I'm going to go cry now.  I just... need to be alone for a while.

Sorry for that last blog entry.  It turns out I was actually lying, and none of those movie sync-ups actually work.  I need to stop posting things on the internet after taking 20 Ambien pills at once, and find more productive things to do instead, like attempt to write the lyrics to "Welcome to the Jungle" on my face with a Sharpie.  However, it is not a lie that Scott Stapp's solo album, The Great Divide goes well with the Drunken No-Talent Jackasses Gone Wild DVD.  If you haven't already, I highly recommend that you stop whatever it is you're doing and check it out immediately.  I don't want to hear any of that "but I'm in the middle of performing brain surgery" crap, either.  Just do it.

You probably already knew this, but R. Lee Ermey (that guy who played the drill sergeant in Full Metal Jacket) is coming out with his own brand of salad dressing and other condiments.  At least that's what I dreamed the other night, but it's probably true.  Personally, I think he should wait until Paul Newman dies in November, but I guess I can't stop him.  Well, maybe I could, if I stole a tank.

I hope you've all been enjoying my musical selections here on the ol' NIN HOTLINE MYSPACE.  Anyone have any suggestions?  If so, post a comment with the song of your choice. If I use it, you may be eligible to win an all expenses paid trip for two to the JFK Assassination Fantasy Camp in Dallas, Texas!

Pat Robertson sucks.

Everybody knows Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon syncs up with The Wizard of Oz. But did you know there are other movie/album combinations that work just as well?  I have spent the weekend doing research on this phenomenon, and have come up with the following awesome sync-ups for you to try for yourself.  I swear to God these actually work.

Beastie Boys - Check Your Head  >>  Ben-Hur
MC 900 Ft. Jesus - Welcome to my Dream >> The Odd Couple
Ween - The Pod >> A Fistful of Dollars
My Bloody Valentine - Loveless >> Rocky II
Mr. Bungle - Disco Volante >> Gone With the Wind
Tool - Lateralus >> Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Nine Inch Nails - Things Falling Apart >> Joe Dirt

When I'm not busy having my face pressed into plus-sized women's breasts by muscular Italian guys, I like to work on various creative endeavors, such as croqueting, freestyle yodeling, arson, and sculpting yams into the likeness of Chuck Woolery.  I also paint from time to time, as some of you might remember.  I recently finished a couple new pieces.

"Paying Attention"

"Best Friends"

The rest of them can be gawked at here. I'm not doing any more prints right now, but I do plan to start selling originals, once I, you know, figure out a good way to go about doing that.