An unbiased analysis of pirates versus ninjas

• By Doug Aamoth
  
  
• December 5th, 2008 ..

This song gets to me everytime I play it in the car (which is like everyday LOL).  Being a Maroon 5 song, I'm sure they were just talking about sex (which is no problem at all), but it means more than that to me.  Yeah, I know that it's weird to hear this from me, of all people.  Things have changed lately, my friends.  More than previously indicated.  What was typically of me before, just doesn't cut it.  Take that stereotypical male change that happens and you get what's going on with me.  Some of you have known that about me since high school, though, so no surprise ^_^  I don't know about you, but this is the level that I want to be.  And it will happen; not a day sooner than it's supposed to.

Maroon 5 - Sweetest Goodbye

Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand (ohh oh-ohh)
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you've come back
I have some thing to say

How does it feel to know you'll never have to be alone
When you get home (home)
There must be someplace
So I can show you how I feel

Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops and
Coincides with the beating of my heart

I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
And I know you'll understand (yeah oh-ohh)
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever ever ever did receive

Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you've come back
I have some thing to say

How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home (home)
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I
Feel... feel... feel... feel

*Guitar and Drums*

Why?

I know that I've been out of the blogging and poetry game for quite some time, but I think it's about time to reclaim that throne for the sole purpose of allowing my creativeness to shine through.  It is submerged from nursing school and activities I engage in to keep a social life prevelant through the stress, but lately I've been feeling a desire to get back to my "roots".  That is what we will call them for the time being until I let you know what that is all about.  There are things I want to say and places I want to be and sometimes it is only spoken word that can take you there. 

Sometimes, the rhythmic flow of poetry provides you with the guided imagery your soul has been aching to express.  Even with all the technology at my disposal to record these creations, I cannot ignore my affairs with the seemingly archeaic method of pen and paper; The high I get from dragging my essence from line to line lights a fire under my feet that begs for me to forego my responsibilities to the outside world and live in the moment until that tap my soul runs from goes dry.  I prefer to do these affairs in private for they seem to reach an illicit status. 

But hopefully, these creative inspirations have not been drowned out during my course of professionalization into nursing.  There is a place I want to get back to, however do not consider it a regression.  It is merely a desire for me to take all the knowledge I have picked up along the way, books or life experiences, and assimilate them into the past to create a fused entity that is not involved in the war that wages within my heart.  Everyone seems in place and there is a calm...... hopefully a storm is not approaching. 

(LATE ENTRY: I was doing a stream of consciousness and realized that what follows next actually turned into something.  I was gonna make it a separate blog, but I'd rather keep it in it's original place.  If it doesn't seem clear, then ask me about it.)

I know of one quall that we've avoided, but no matter when it happens, I'm sure the waters will rage.  At least this time we are prepared unlike before, but even if we try to perfect the timing, we will still have casualties.  No matter what, I want this.  It can't be now, for the sake of many.  And we do have patience this time.  There are answers I want that I will find in this storm.  There are questions that I won't have answer for in this storm.  But I have this burning desire to go on this trek, although a veil of caution and care is present for the both of us.  It is definitely an uncharted territory that we must be careful, but will be broadcast to those who will receive it.  Until that day, I will be patient.  Bide our time until conditions prove more favorable for us.  The least amount of sacrifices we have to make, the better.  They are important to us and vice versa.  I will wait until then to board this particular ship, however time is not still and I will not put everything else on hold.  We can each go our separate ways on different expeditions, but when all the criteria that we predetermined are met, we can await each other on that dock and venture into that inevitable storm with our group together.  I'm excited to know what awaits us all on the other side.

This post was originally on a friend's page on Facebook and I always read it when I had some spare time with mobile FB.  It spoke to me all these previous times and I realized while writing this essay-long message on MySpace that I started quoting it without even knowing it!  It will probably help some other people out with the things they are working through.  Since I seemed to follow the message without being aware of it, I thought I would share it with all of MySpace!  It is in its quoted form via Brandon C., so enjoy!

This email was responsible for me being able to let go of what wasn't for me, and allowing for the content that i am feeling now! so for anyone that may be feeling troubled, this is for you!!!

Let It Go for 2004...by T. D. Jakes
>
> There are people who can walk away from you.
> And hear me when I tell you this!
> When people can walk away from you:
> let them walk.
>
> I don't want you to try to talk another person into
> staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring
> about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
> I mean hang up the phone!
>
> When people can walk away from you let them walk.
> Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
> The bible says that, "they came out from us that it
> might be made manifest that they were not for us.
> For had they been of us, no doubt they would have
> continued with us."
> [1 John 2:19]
>
> People leave you because they are not joined to you.
> And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them
> stay. Let them go. And it doesn't mean that they are a
> bad person, it just means that their part in the story is
> over. And you've got to know when people's part in your
> story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
> You've got to know when it's dead.
>
> You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you
> something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the
> tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that
> I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever
> God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it
> takes too much sweat, I don't need it.
>
> Stop begging people to stay. Let them go!!
> If you are holding on to something that doesn't
> belong to you and was never intended for your life,
> then you need to ..LET IT GO!!!
> If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...LET
> IT GO!!!
> If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and
> see your worth....LET IT GO!!!
> If someone has angered you ... LET IT GO!!!
> If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and
> revenge .. LET IT GO!!!
> If you are involved in a wrong relationship or
> addiction ... LET IT GO!!!
> If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets
> your needs or talents...LET IT GO!!!
>
> If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!!
> If you keep judging others to make yourself feel
> better... LET IT GO!!!
> If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take
> you to a new level in Him...LET IT GO!!!
>
> If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
> relationship....LET IT GO!!!
> If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try
> to help themselves...LET IT GO!!!
> If you're feeling depressed and stressed .... LET IT
> GO!!!
> If there is a particular situation that you are so
> used to handling yourself and God is saying
> "take your hands off of it" then you need to...
> LET IT GO!!!
>
> Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
> GOD is doing a new thing for 2004!!!
> LET IT GO!!! Get Right or Get
> Left .. think about it, and then LET IT GO!!!esponsible for me being able to let go of what wasn't for me, and allowing for the content that i am feeling now! so for anyone that may be feeling troubled, this is for you!!!

DISCLAIMER:  This is not specifically referring to anyone that I am in contact with at this time or in the near future.  This is about people I have met post-high school & pre-2008.  Just thought I'd get that out of the way.....

After having the chance of being on this Earth for almost 23 years, I've gone through quite a few personality changes.  Aside from being crazy (LOL), I can honestly say that I started of 2008 as a whole person.  I mean that in the sense of "I am happy with the way my life is at this exact moment."  That's a lot for me to say coming through the fire I've been through the last couple of years (even dating back to high school, as some of you know), but the test of it all and most memorable would be 2007.  Even with all the things that happened, only true joy can fill my heart when I think back to those tumultuous times.  I can look back and say, "I went through all that shit in the areas of my life and came out better than before!  I was able to deal with all of the deceit & betrayal from the two former important people in my life, keep my integrity intact, and make my resolve even stronger."  Staying true to who God made me out to be, I allowed myself to be guided by the truth as I received it, as opposed to the interpretation of others.  Now, I can say that I am happy because I feel a sense of completion within myself.  I don't need someone else to complete me; I want a person to adorn me, only be flattering to what I already am.  They should only improve on the sculpture I've made of myself. 

At this moment, I have friends around me that I used to dream about having....You know why?  Because they all get along!  Sounds like a stupid thing to say, doesn't it? But it used to be something that I dreamed about during the past couple of years that seemed unattainable given my company at that time......and it was, in every sense of the word.  I am thankful & blessed to have friends in my life in 2008 who are classy and respectable (meaning I have no problem taking them out in public --- at times LOL).  I am even getting in touch with old and new friends who are the same way!  We have fun & are serious or goofy all when we want to be, especially when we need to be.  More importantly, no one sugar-coats things with me & they tell me what I need to hear sometimes, whether I like it or not (I usually like it later) and vice versa.  In a word, they are honest to me and I to them.  And that, my dear friends brings about trust and respect that they so rightly deserve.  We are there to support each other in our life choices, regardless of if we believe in them or not.  One's opinion and support do not go hand in hand.  This brings me to the reason I blogged this morning:

Have you ever known someone who was negative?

Not just in some aspects, I mean negative ALL THE TIME...24/7...366 DAYS A YEAR?! (I'm covering leap years here, ppl)

I can understand the occasional gloomies...shit, I'm sure even Hello Kitty gets tired of seeing her face everywhere & once in a while Blue doesn't give a damn about the clues. But some people are just headstrong on bringing you down to their level. I'm not talking about depression or even a person who sees the glass half empty. I'm talking about the Professional Pessimist. Don't know the difference? Well, luckily you have a victim to enlighten you.

This person can walk into a room of happy, upbeat individuals having a great time and by merely uttering a single sentence, bring the fun level down to non-existent. This is the type of person who you ask what are their plans for having fun the next day and they reply in a monotone, selfish voice, "I hope I wake up tomorrow." DON'T BE FOOLED! This is not a person who is going through a trouble time in their day/life, a possible suicidal individual, or even someone trying to "find themself." This is a person who just complains about anything and everything, even when there is nothing to complain about! A few signs and symptoms that you have had an event with this type of person are as follows:

Frequent bouts of hypocrisy, especially when telling you what lifestyle changes to make

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, recurring people from different areas of your life (mother, friends, co-workers, strangers, etc.) all tell you the same thing about this person: not a good influence, "fake," & they choose not to hang out with you if this person is around

This Professional Pessimist may also go under the alias of a Debbie/Dan (?) Downer. It is quite easy to misinterpret this individual for the ever prevalent "Hater," but your course of action must be different. The "Hater" can do his/her job from a distance or in your circle. Either way, the more you have is a better indication that your life is going in a positive direction LOL. However, more than one Professional Pessimist increases your risk of loneliness (due to lack of other friends) and dissatisfaction with your daily life....

LMAO Okay, enough with the WebMD antics...Seriously though? You may be around people who make you feel like crap. And sometimes it's because they want you to feel that way. There are people who will literally suck all the joy out of you, if you let them. Misery loves company, remember? The only repellent I know of is becoming fluent in sarcasm that turns all of their complaints into jokes for all to enjoy at their expense. Someone who is a Professional Pessimist will take it personally & continue on their quest to cast you into despair, while anyone else will laugh right with you (or do that later) and become cheery soon enough.  That might sound close to being an ass....AND YOU'RE RIGHT!!! lol  (I haven't had any complaints so far from that method, aside from the obvious...) If you know of any other methods, share please and thank you!

You only get one shot at your happiness and I think you have to be on guard in full battle armor to make sure that really happens. If there is something you really want to be or do with you life and someone is telling you why you shouldn't, listen to the passion (song) in your heart and let that be the voice that guides you to your destination. You might want to rethink those people in your life who keep telling you that you can't reach your dream or don't have the capacity to do so [Look at this clip of Madea explaining the people in your life through an analogy to a tree].

Life is too short to be one of those people who hate their job, but do it anyway to make money. Those are the people who try to tell you that nobody likes to work, so get used to it.  Pick a career (notice the word choice) and be in the elite of the world who does what truly makes them happy and drown out the rantings of "The Man" and everyone else who shoots down your aspirations. At the end of the day, you are the one who rests your head on your pillow at night to deal with the choices you make every day. Even if you think that you are alone, the collective consciousness that exists on Myspace, let alone the Net is enough for you to find a place to rest any concerns....and then you'll always have me to talk to if you like!

.....Unless you are the Professional Pessimist........in that case, I'm getting ready to wash my hair.

There is literally a war that rages inside of my heart

Between my generousity, kindness, and compassion which composes my sweet demeanor, tantalizing me like a kid in a candy store

And the unrelenting cruelty and cynicism that creates the pillow of darkness that serenades me to its embrace, blanketing me in its coldness

I wish I could let it all go and succomb to one side

Ending this purgatorial pain that drags me across the spectrum

It seems like I keep falling for the same old trick

You tell me it's red when it's really blue

Same script, different cast after all this time

Saying the same lines and expecting the outcome to prove the previous one untrue

Insanity must live for me to keep acting this way

But I think I've found the cure

I'm starting to see the pattern now

Won't be too long

When the girl you thought you know

Is long gone

Don't blink or you might miss it

I'm changing right before your eyes, into something new

The first thing I'll do with this new life

Is get rid of you

5/1/08

1:40PM