Once upon a time
In a land far away
A beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog
As she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said "Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dopper young prince that I am.
And then my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother.
Where you can prepare meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself...

I don't fucking think so.

...that confuse cultures.

A.K.A Mulan

Chinese and Japanese are two seperate countries, can you be any more ignorent?

...that say they are a vegetarian but they eat...

1. fish

a. you are a PESCETARIAN, like in Wild Child when she says something a little like "3 days a week I am a pescetarian, 4 days a week I am a fruitarian and 7 days a week I am an all round vegetarian"

Whoever wrote that line will die. Enough said.

*shit movie by the way

or 2. SAUSAGES! (my friend told me that is what her mum did, ok i was about 8 at the time and these thoughts (that she were fucking stupid) have been in my head since then, when I was not a vegetarian)

OOOO here's a good one

...who pretend to be saints (when they're not)

For instance:

Fake A. I would never, ever, talk about you behind your back *look really hurt*

When they bitch about others in front of you who are their, supposedly, best friends

Comedians

Dylan Moran

He's by far my favourite comedian in the world. He smokes, he drinks and he's Irish. He's fucking fabulous on stage.

Jon Richardson

I first heard him on his podcast with Russell Howard. When I heard him I thought he sounded like he would be small and skinny and nerdy looking, all the same, he was witty, I laughed and laughed, he made me happy. Guess what, he didn't look anything like I imagined. Jon Richardson is this cute guy scared of daddy long legs.

Lucy Porter

I don't usually like girl comedians (or comediennes or something?) but well she caught my eye because her name is like mine, ahaha (Lydia Porter), so I watched some of her stand up and she's actually quite funny.

Russell Howard

I first noticed Russell Howard on Mock The Week. He was brought to my attention because he was the youngest, the funniest and there was something funny about his eyes (one lazy). He just seems to be more on my level. Chicken tickler.

The Mighty Boosh

Weird...but creative, imaginative. Open your mind and your extremely entertained...magically

Bill Bailey

His hair...a masterpiece. Not much to say, he's funny, weird, all comedians are really, and can act. But that doesn't make him not as good. He also starred with Dylan Moran in three series of "Black Books", which made me very happy.

Russell Brand

Okay, he's sleezy and easy, cringy and vulgur but he does make me laugh most of the time, and when he does I laugh out a lung. I also think Matt Morgan should be in the limelight more, he's lovable. Oh and not to mention his pirate like style...hard to resist although the hair does frighten me.

Flight Of The Conchords

Two Australian guys (one was in Eagle Vs. Shark (a really weird film)). They sing in a folk style but comicly. Stand up singing. You have to look them up on youtube really.

Simon Amstell

I've only ever seen him on 'Popworld' and 'Never Mind The Buzzcocks'. He's rude, but he gets away with it because usually it's true and pure comic.

Dara O'Briain

Well he's like a big friendly giant. (-whispers- and he's Irish)

Ed Byrne

He's just this cute Irish bloke who makes me giggle.

Eddie Izzard

He wears makeup, did a gig in French and wears strange clothes. He's one of a kind, I love 'im.

Musicians

Paolo Nutini

He has a beautiful crooked smile, a beautiful raspy voice and doesn't style his beautiful scruffy hair. He plays acoustically and is Scottish (and I'm guessing, Italian?).

Katy Perry

People don't seem to like her...I love her music. It's just good old feel good chick flick music, ain't nothin wrong widit. Bit boring, but it's got the funk, ya know?

Amy Winehouse

Despite what people say she has an amazing voice.

Pete Doherty

You can tell his songs mean something. He's deep and has a sweet soul.

Regina Spekter

Her accent gives her singing an edge I like, her songs can be bland and boring though.

Adele

Boy, can this girl sing. She belts and bellows but manages for it to come out in a sweet lullaby of music. I fear if she slims down she'll loose that (not that I think she will)

Pendulum

All young wannabe scene kids are gonna go to their gig in December? Oh piss off, you know your in love with them just a little bit, you know you twitch when they play, dance damnit dance.

Actors

Johnny Depp

Ok...maybe he's not as much as great actor as I thought after seeing Pirates Of The Carribean. I purely thought that because he charmed me, yes from the cinema. But come on, lets face it, his looks, his voice, his personality, he strikes me as beautifully unique.

Matt Perry

Ok...it should really say Chandler. Chandler's brilliant. Chandler's hot. Chandler Chandler Chandler.

Actresses

Designers

Authors

Jodi Picoult

In every book she carrys the story from everyones point of view, I'm a really open minded person, I'd love it if more books were like this. She's possibly my favourite author but her storys do tend to have the same things in them, but what do you expect? Rape, cops, love, law, etc etc. If you like having to think about what's right and wrong, she's the one for you.

Stephanie Meyer

If you are a teenage girl and you have not read the Twilight series, go now, get it! Read the first one, I dare you. Because as much as its a sucky little teenage romance, you have to read it. And for anyone who has read the books, shit I almost wrote boobs then, I'm on Jacobs side. Everyone loves Edward, Edwards fucking annoying, perfect, Bella and Edward's relationship is perfect. Who wants that? Jacob is a werewolf, hes got a sick pack, dark skin and has a temper on him. Oh and if you haven't already, watch the Twilight movie trailer, and no, Jacob is not played by someone hot :(

Kate Brian

The Private series. Just teenage books really. Though this girl goes to this weird school, where there are shit loads of secrets and deceit going on. It's a bourding school with the whole high school popularity contest going on but with a chilling edge to it.

Koren Zailckas

She wrote one book. 'Smashed: Growing Up A Drunk Girl' and it's the best book I've ever read. Purely because I relate to it completely. Well, if your a teenager and you drink loads to help with self confidence, you should read this book. It's inspirational.

Artists

Banksy

Models

Tara Banks

I think she's beautiful and has a really funny outrageous character, she's not bulimic or anorexic, she's got something most models have not. Looks aren't everything ya know.

 

Most people don't like to stand out or voice their opinions because they are scared of what people think or they are scared that they won't like them.

A love it or hate it person is my kind of person. Loved and hated or mutual/boring/no biggie 

You can't please everyone - so don't try.  

Take risks, broaden your horizon, explore your interests, be an individual, not a number added to the population. 

With it comes passion, with passion comes confidence, and with confidence comes happiness.

You spend most of your life looking for love or to make you whole. Most people like to strive for this without reaching base one, being happy with yourself. If you can't love yourself no one will love you in return.  

Lastly, describe yourself. 5 individual things.