1. Approach gender violence as a MEN'S issue involving men of all ages and socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds. View men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers

2. If a brother, friend, classmate, or teammate is abusing his female partner -- or is disrespectful or abusive to girls and women in general -- don't look the other way. If you feel comfortable doing so, try to talk to him about it. Urge him to seek help. Or if you don't know what to do, consult a friend, a parent, a professor, or a counselor. DON'T REMAIN SILENT.

3. Have the courage to look inward. Question your own attitudes. Don't be defensive when something you do or say ends up hurting someone else. Try hard to understand how your own attitudes and actions might inadvertently perpetuate sexism and violence, and work toward changing them.

4. If you suspect that a woman close to you is being abused or has been sexually assaulted, gently ask if you can help.

5. If you are emotionally, psychologically, physically, or sexually abusive to women, or have been in the past, seek professional help NOW.

6. Be an ally to women who are working to end all forms of gender violence. Support the work of campus-based women's centers. Attend "Take Back the Night" rallies and other public events. Raise money for community-based rape crisis centers and battered women's shelters. If you belong to a team or fraternity, or another student group, organize a fundraiser.

7. Recognize and speak out against homophobia and gay-bashing. Discrimination and violence against lesbians and gays are wrong in and of themselves. This abuse also has direct links to sexism (eg. the sexual orientation of men who speak out against sexism is often questioned, a conscious or unconscious strategy intended to silence them. This is a key reason few men do so).

8. Attend programs, take courses, watch films, and read articles and books about multicultural masculinities, gender inequality, and the root causes of gender violence. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.

9. Don't fund sexism. Refuse to purchase any magazine, rent any video, subscribe to any Web site, or buy any music that portrays girls or women in a sexually degrading or abusive manner. Protest sexism in the media.

10. Mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don't involve degrading or abusing girls and women. Volunteer to work with gender violence prevention programs, including anti-sexist men's programs. Lead by example

Copyright 1999, Jackson Katz. www.jacksonkatz.com
Reprint freely with credit!

I recently saw a television advertisement for Coca Cola's Full Throttle energy drink that featured different sorts of men chasing after a Full Throttle big rig.  And by doing so, each individual mob member reclaimed something that they, apparently, did not have before—the right to be a real man.

At the commercial's conclusion, the message was clear.  The words "Let Your Man Out" remained on the screen, and I began to think.  Instead of thinking about how ridiculous or annoying the whole premise was, I started to think about why Coca Cola decided to advertise this particular product this way.  There is a growing trend among advertisers to market "masculine" products to men by going over the top, while citing the average American Man's loss of manhood.

The definition of Masculinity is in flux right now, and advertisers are aware of this. Susan Faludi warned us that the same tricks that were (and still are, on many levels) used by society to force women into strict gender roles during Feminism's various waves are now being used on men.  In an age where few people agree on a clear-cut definition of Masculinity, boys and men can consume a product and be secure in their identity, and women (supposedly) will want these boys and men for their power and dominance.  Passionate talk about these advertisements and our society's push for more dominant manhood is relegated to two categories: people either feel that it's ridiculous or that there really is a need for more dominant men.

What is almost never discussed in these conversations is what this push for a more dominant strain of manhood is supposed to do.  "Letting Your Man Out" could reduce men to merely demonstrating their hyper-masculinity, a man with no real use to our society, a man who doesn't really do anything.  At best, this manliness is solely for decoration.  At worst, this ornamental masculinity could produce more aggressive boys and men.  In either case, our society does not seem to be concerned with producing men that can take care of themselves or constuctively contribute to our society in any way.

In the push to shed everything that is deemed "unmanly," these characteristics parallel some aspects of fifties nostalgic feminine gender roles in an ironic twist; the only way to express your gender in the ornamental role is by purchasing accessories to remedy your insecurities.  So what happens now?

Are men going to heed the advice of women who have seen and heard the pitfalls and anguish of those who have tried to force themselves into a convenient stereotype so members of the "opposite" sex will want them?  Are we, as men, going to continue to sacrifice our creativity, individuality, and emotions to capitulate to a downsizing of our humanity to mindless corporate widget machines?  Are you going to stand as a passive by-stander while a few people with power continue to perpetuate a culture that robs almost everyone involved?

What are you going to do about it?

"Women's equality will help save men from themselves." -L. Frank Baum