The holidays are now over for the most part, and the rest of the year begins.

This year marks a few milestones for me:

1. I'll be 45 next month

2. My niece will be 10, also next month

3. My Number 3 Son will graduate from high school, and shortly after that...

4. Will turn 18, and...

5. Go to college (I hope!)

6. My mother will have her 80th birthday in July.

7. In October, my father will have been gone 10 years.

8. In December, my youngest son will be 16 and old enough to get his driver's license (yikes!)

But, about that first thing on the list above... 45 is a pretty big milestone. I'll handle it much better than the emotional deluge that marked my 40th birthday. Little did I realize in 2004 that life really began for me that year. I made some major decisions about where my life was headed and determined to accomplish some goals along the way.

In a little over 5 weeks from now, I'll be 45. I realized that it's time to stop running from whatever it was in my past and just accept it for what it is. Since that can't be changed, I'll just have to leave it in the past, hope I learned some valuable lessons from it and move the hell on.

Some of those things are people, events, experiences, and whatever else I wish to make peace with to calm my soul, obtain closure, and get it out of my system.

There are some people that I want to get in contact with for various reasons. One in particular so I can apologize for making their life harder than it needed to be (and no, Jon, it's NOT you).  I found this person here on MySpace recently and sent them a friend request. For reasons known only to them, they decided not to accept it. As much as I'd like to rekindle our friendship, if that person decides that that isn't what they want, then I have to accept that.

I'm just sorry that they feel that way.

Slowly but surely, I'll find the ways to reconcile with my past so it doesn't affect my future. The future looks promising, but like anything else, there are bound to be some bumps and bruises and hurt feelings along the way. I'm just preparing myself for whatever life throws at me, because if I'm able, I'll throw it right back at 'em.

So there. :P

Thanks for reading.

To all of you whatever you celebrate, I hope that it is spent with family and good friends. May you enjoy the gifts of the season and make new memories with those you love. Take care of each other-- Stef

Who was the last perso​n you gave up on? That'd be naming names, but a couple of people

Have you talke​d to a compl​ete assho​le today​? ​Not yet... give it time.

Are you comfo​rtabl​e answe​ring these​ perso​nal quest​ions?​ yes

Last time you consu​med alcoh​ol?​ um... about 6 years ago

Do you think​ relat​ionsh​ips are ever worth​ it? Most are.

If you could​ pack up and move,​ would​ you? I just did that, so no.

Do your paren​ts reall​y know you? my mother thinks she does...

When was the last time you laugh​ed reall​y hard?​ Last night

What are you weari​ng right​ now? um... clothes? I AM at school after all

Why are you smili​ng?​ Because life's damn good!

What do you want right​ now? a car, lots of cash, and someone I can't have

Does anyon​e like you? In what way? I have friends, and a couple of guys who are sweet on me... so yeah, someone likes me.

Are your paren​ts divor​ced?​ No. My father's deceased

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name start​s with a J? Yes.

 Do you love peopl​e easil​y? Not really. Anyone who wants my love has to earn it

When is the last time you saw your numbe​r 1 on your top frien​ds?​ 1999 :(

Who was the last perso​n to call you? Charlie

What'​s your mood?​ relieved

If you took a drug test would​ you pass it? yes

When'​s the last time you cried​? ​Friday

Did you enjoy​ your weeke​nd?​ it was passable

When'​s the last time you ran? Run? are you f'n kidding me?!

Do you like your first​ name?​ Yes. Even though it seems that there are a lot of Stephanies here at school under the age of 25

Are you jealo​us of anyon​e right​ now? um, no.

Do you regre​t doing​ somet​hing today​?​ It's 10:30am, I haven't had time to do something I regret.

Last perso​n you told a secre​t to? L

What'​s irrit​ating​ you right​ now? Nothing.

Is there​ anyon​e that you hate? ​I strongly dislike some people, but I don't hate anyone

What do you think​ your best frien​d'​s doing​ right​ now? Working

Did anyon​e watch​ you the last time you kisse​d someo​ne? ​God, I hope not!

When you'​re walki​ng,​ do you stop to drink​?​ uh, no.

Do you belie​ve that if you want somet​hing bad enoug​h you'​ll get it? Not without working for it

Kill or Be kille​d? ​depends on the situation, though neither is okay by me

Break​ someo​ne's heart​ or have your heart​ broke​n?​ neither, thanks

Who was the last perso​n you hugge​d? ​:) Charlie

Do you like someo​ne right​ this secon​d?​ Right this second? Yes

Are you a forgi​ving perso​n?​ I'd like to think so

What are you about​ to do? go to math class

Are you liste​ning to anyth​ing? ​typing and printer noises

What are you scare​d of? being alone.

Last song you sang out loud?​ Devour by Shinedown

Are you think​ing of someo​ne right​ now? yes

Whats​ today​ about​? ​going to class and doing homework. I still have a paper due Thursday

Why are you singl​e? ​It's just better that way for the time being. (<---What she said)

Have you ever wishe​d you had a diffe​rent last name?​ after everything I went thru to get my maiden name restored after my divorce, I don't wish to have a different last name. If I did, I'd hyphen it with my own

Why did you kiss the last perso​n you kisse​d?​ because I enjoy kissing him, and he me.

Do peopl​e under​estim​ate you? All. The. Time.

Do peopl​e think​ badly​ of you? I don't really care if they do or not.

Do peopl​e say bad thing​s about​ you? see previous answer

Do you wear a lot of black​?​ No

Can you sleep​ witho​ut blank​ets cover​ing you? Depends...

Whats​ the first​ thing​ you did when you woke up this morni​ng?​got dressed

What were you doing​ at ten last night​?​ watching the news

Did you cry today​?​ No...

I'm posting this from my phone. It's pretty weird but at least I have a QWERTY keyboard on my phone and not cycling thru letters on a standard phone keypad. That's a royal pain in the a$$ for sure... Other than that I have nothing more to say because the phone is threatening to go kaput on me.

Who is one guy you trust most?
I can only pick one? Okay, then... Chaz.



Can you fill this out without lying?
Um, yeah

What's the last thing you put in your mouth?
a mint


Last people you rode in a car with under the age of 21?
Scott (who was driving.) and Marc


Name someone that made you laugh today?
this goofy guy in my speech class who talked about Cinnamon Toast Crunch being his favorite cereal

What are you doing now?
Filling out this survey. Duh?


Who took your profile picture?
Me


Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Not tellin'

Was yesterday better than today?
yes


What are you listening to?
the sound of clacking computer keyboard keys



Is anything bothering you right now?
yeah

Where's the last place you went swimming?
Ocean View Beach about 9 years ago

What plans do you have for tomorrow?
Go to class, volunteer for Homecoming


Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
On Chaz's "couch"

What is more important, happiness or trust?
trust.



What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
Wouldn't you like to know

What's the very first thing you do when you wake up?
Groan...


Do you even know how to do the laundry?
Of course.



Most memorable thing that happened to you this summer?
Got to spend time with an amazing guy...


When's the last time you had a headache?
Right now. And not a bottle of Aleve in sight



Do you like reading?
Yeah...


What are you hoping to get this Christmas?
Hmmm... a car would be nice. Seriously, to spend one whole day with a really good friend...


Do you ever think of stuff and start crying?
Yeah. I'm a sap



Do you ever think "what if" about anything?
Of course.



Have you ever regretted anything?
Oh, yeah....



Are you happy with the way things are going?
Could be better, but yes


Do you hate when people smoke around you?
Having grown up with a smoker, being around smokers is not something I'd do by choice anymore

Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
My bed.


In the past week,have you cried?
Yes

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
No... I've had some pretty bad ones, but not one that bad

What woke you up this morning?
Cell phone alarm (because I don't want a clock in my bedroom)


Have you ever been awake for more then 2 nights straight?
Not lately. I need my sleep or I'm hell to live with.

Where did you go in a car last?
Radio shack, on Saturday with Number 2 Son

How is your heart?
It's beating, so I'm still alive.

What movie did you see last in theaters?
Leatherheads with Chaz back in April sometime.

With all the mud slinging the politicians are doing in this election, it's a wonder anyone can see what's going on in this country.

Okay, I get that there are some people who don't like one candidate or another for whatever reasons they can come up with. But to post anti someone/pro someone propaganda, then take offense when someone disagrees with YOUR view is just too much.

I wrote a paper for my Philosophy class over Fall Break that some people are so blinded by their patriotism that they can't see the bigger picture, i.e. what's wrong with the country.

Some people are so blinded, too, by their choice being the RIGHT choice no matter what anyone says to the contrary.

I've met some people who are totally and completely in the Obama camp; others are convinced that the McCain/Palin ticket is the way to go. Those of us who are either on the fence or have decided that their choice on November 4th is between themselves and the ballot box are getting bombarded left, right and center in these last two weeks before the election by people trying to convince us that THEIR choice, and only THEIR choice, is the right choice. Period. End of discussion.

Whoa... hold up there a minute!

Personally, NOTHING anyone says about either Sen. Obama or Sen. McCain is going to sway me one way or the other. I am firmly in the camp of  it's between me and the ballot box.

To that effect, you will NOT at any time see a political sticker on my car (because with my luck, that person will lose, then I'm stuck with the sticker), or a political sign in my yard (provided I had a yard, and not just a strip of dormant grass I have no control over anyway). My preferences are MY BUSINESS and no one else's. I don't need to "advertise" that I'm a McCain supporter or an Obama supporter. Or a supporter of anyone else for that matter.

I'm tired of the BS in this election. I'm going to go into the voting booth with both eyes wide open, armed with the facts, and vote for the person I think will get the job done in the next 4 years.

In conclusion, all I ask is that you vote on November 4th for the person YOU think should be the next Commander in Chief. Because, as I read in "Peanuts" many, many years ago, if you don't vote, don't crab.

I'm Stef and I approve this post.

I may just be sensitive, but as an Italian American, I find that anything called "mafia" is offensive.

That's just like saying that all middle eastern people are terrorists, or that all Mormons belong to those polygamist groups, or that all fat people are fat because they don't have the good sense to put the fork down (and I have had that applied to me in a comment on another social networking site).

Not all Italian Americans are involved with the Mafia, the mob, rule like John Gotti or live life right out of "The Godfather" or "The Sopranos".

There's even an ad for "Mafia Wars" on this page as I type this: "The only game on MySpace that will break your kneecaps". Gimme a break!

Personally, I think that MySpace having "applications" like FaceBook is stupid. I don't want to be anyone's "pet", be "bought" and "sold", or any of the other stupid things that people come up with to use on MySpace. I don't even want those things on my comments, which is why if you sent me a comment from one of those apps, and you didn't see it on my page, it's because I denied it.

If you want to leave me a comment to say hi, or make a comment about my page or about me or about whatever, fine. But I'm not going to junk it up with stupid apps.

I realize that MySpace is geared towards people who are old enough for me to have given birth to (my oldest son, after all, will be 25 this year), but come on, now! Just because its main demographic is those 14-25 years of age, doesn't mean that those of us who are older have to regress. However, if you like the apps, more power to ya. I don't care for them, either here or on Facebook.

BTW, my two adult sons think that sites like this are a huge waste of their time. I like them, but I want to use them the way I want, NOT for the apps that one can use.

...and no, I'm NOT going to put all seven in this post. I've heard an ex boyfriend say all seven at some point in the 6 years I've known him.

George Carlin died yesterday. I read that on Yahoo this morning and went, "say it ain't so!" He did have a history of heart disease, but c'mon... George Carlin? Die?

Maybe God needed someone to really make Him laugh. And, I'll betcha that He knows all seven dirty words!