when i meet nagendra i felt like i had allways known him, he could read faces or the lines on peoples face and he confirmed we had been together in another life, we both nearly killed each orther in this one lol.


I had signed the contract and invited them in. They came from past lives to find me, disguised as giving hope. I owed them a terrible debt. I had known them through many life times and when I first saw them I recognized them immediately. They came in and crawled under my skin like a scourge looking for retribution. Leaches sucking on my blood, I was helpless to resist. It was after all my karma. Their faces beautiful as they were terrible, with doe eyes like children concealing the wolf within. Ready too pounce and extract blood. I resist with all the strength God gave me, then realizing the hopelessness of it, I offer myself as prey. My face mangled in distorted confusion looking to reconcile what cant be reconciled. I looked in their wild mad eyes and fused with them and we became one once again. Then like a knife cutting off a malignant growth they left me alone. Empty and broken in my solitude. This life would be a debt to them, a painful cleansing of the past.

photo: hiro


I fell in love with a hustler boy,
as pretty as he was young.
he followed me from here to there,
amorously pursued me with his dark stare.
I said i like ,he said he loved.
What was i to do?
HE was dressed in cloth so vunreable,
i had no reason no clue.
i like your heart it is so good
i like you from inside he said,
so i fell for him and i fell so very hard.
On our first night together he fucked another in the park.
then he kissed me tenderly and ran his fingers round my head.
I just want it my way , thats what he said.
" your angry your not getting what you want",
that was so not true.
I was angry i was getting screwed.
He told me dont open up so easily
dont take it personally
i dont discriminate
i dont belive in love
all i know is hate

there were times as a child it seemed like i was floating on air
when that small grey town was lit by a light that made every thing a soft golden yellow
the hashness that was ,was replaced as if in a dream so i could not remember anything that had gone before
the soft light and air would carry and enfold me in its subtle delicacies
drifting in and out with wonder in this most natural of places i felt no sense of alienation ,
i was at one with the sky the sun and the earth
the smell of freshly cut grass form hay filling my nostrils and every pore of my body
i did not walk or run but floated tumbled and turned with every gust of wind ,
my mood more serene with the ever changing evening light,
voices laughter whispers were like the rustling of the leaves in the trees and the crinkling water in the stream
for a while it would seem there would never be anything else,though as the long evening turned to night and as summer turned to autumn and then to winter so to would my life turn to shadows,
and my dreams be taken in the terror of those cold and dark irish evenings