This was an exceptionally outstanding year for movies. Really, truly. It started at Sundance and the good stuff just kept on coming all year long. I couldn't even keep up. I think I saw pretty much all the ones I was stoked in advance to see, though.

The breadth of great movies was reflected in the Oscars this year. Even though critics favored "No Country For Old Men" to be the winner, there was no clear front runner. Nobody to sweep the awards. "No Country" only won four Oscars total and the movie that took home the second most was (hardly a film one would think of as Oscar-calibre) "The Bourne Ultimatum" with three. Most of the other winners took home one apiece. So, in other words, everybody had a fair shake. Although, I hafta say, there were more than a handful of movies that were rudely snubbed altogether as far as nominations. I don't wanna talk about that now, though, let's concentrate on the positive.

So, this time of year is when I usually compile my annual top ten favorite movies list. Of course, these lists are always in a constant state of flux (my list from last year has already changed considerably), but generally speaking, they accurately recap my enjoyment of the past year. I gotta say, though, that this year's list was really hard to put together. So many great movies, and each so good in its own way, how does one prioritize? It's like asking somebody to rank how much they love their children. Still, I think I managed to break 'em down - despite how painful it was to say "Sorry, you didn't make the cut" to several films that woulda been appropriate choices on anyone's top ten list. So, for those who care what I think, I give you my TOP TEN FAVORITE FILMS OF 2007:

1: Son of Rambow
Some of you are saying "huh?" That's probably 'cuz this movie hasn't been given a wide release yet. Look for it in May of this year. Others of you may say "Hey, that doesn't count then." Well, I saw it at Sundance in January of 2007. It was one of the first movies I saw all year, so how could it not count? Besides, this movie was so great, I knew it would be my favorite film of the year before it was even over. To hafta wait a whole 'nother year to rank it 1 seemed both unfair and unreasonable. It's my list, I do what I want. Besides, the important thing here is that you make a note of it and go see it when it comes out, 'cuz chances are it'll be your favorite film of 2008.

2: Rocket Science
Well, whattaya know? Another movie from Sundance. This one actually did get a wide release last summer, though. I don't think it did all that well financially, however, and that's a real shame because it's such a wonderful film on so many levels. I think no matter how painful or wonderful your adolescence was - whether you were a loser or an overachiever - there's something in this movie everyone can relate to and empathize with. Hopefully this'll find a cult following on DVD but, if not, I suppose that's somewhat appropriate. Just like the lead character Hal Hefner: unnoticed and unappreciated, but still great and unique nonetheless.

3: No Country for Old Men
Here we go, a movie you've heard of, right? I had high hopes for this film long before it came out because I had read the book and was floored by how amazingly well-written it was. I'm also a big Coen Brothers fan, so when I heard they were doing this adaptation, I knew it was gonna be a magical conjunction. It was so masterfully translated, too. I doubt anybody who's seen the movie (or even just the trailers) could read that book without picturing the actors and scenery as they were in the film. And that's not a bad thing at all with a movie as stellar as this.

4: Juno
Once in a great while, I'll see a movie with a character in it that I wish was a real person so I could get to know them in real life. Becky from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" was one. Joe from "The Station Agent" was another. Well, here is a movie where it seemed every character was somebody I wanted to know personally. Hell, I wanted to move to that town. Go into that convenience store. Hobnob with Rollo. Drink Sunny D. Or a Maker's Mark... Up. If you don't know what I'm talkin' about, you gotta see the movie, too. Then come an' hang out.

5: Diary of the Dead
Okay, so yeah I saw this one at Sundance this year, but officially it premiered in Austin at the Fantastic Fest last September and IMDb lists it as a 2007 release, so I'm goin' with it. It's in theatres now, but it'll probably go by relatively unnoticed (except only by zombie fans) as most zombie movies often do and, futhermore, likely be compared to "Cloverfield" because of its similar story-telling structure. That's too bad, 'cuz it really is a perfectly crafted horror film. I haven't seen "Cloverfield", but I bet this movie's better. I have nothing to base that on except that zombies rule. So does Romero. In fact, maybe I should add it to my top ten list next year just to remind you guys it's awesome.

6: Dedication
I think this movie did even worse than "Rocket Science" this year. Anybody ever even heard of it? I mean, besides from me? Bummer. Of course, if you told me a romantic comedy starring Mandy Moore would ever be on any of my top ten lists, I'da hit you with a shovel. Maybe that line of thinking's what turned off other filmgoers. Plot-wise, it's just another cookie-cutter romantic comedy, but it's very well-written and charmingly well-performed. Perhaps it just wasn't marketed very well. Kinda like a restaurant with incredible food, but out in the middle of nowhere. My advice: If you're in the video store and can't think of something to rent, but wanna try something different - give this movie a shot. It may not linger in your memory long enough to tell other people to see it, but I think you'll be pleasantly entertained.

7: Superbad
There are at least four movies that could be considered comedies rated higher on my list than this one, but this one made me laugh harder than any other movie all year. I think this one may even stand the test of time and become one of those highly-quoted cult films people will still watch and reference years from now. I had to see it a second time to catch some of the lines drowned-out by the crowd's laughter from the first time and, ya know what? I think it was even funnier after I knew the characters and what they were in for. And it's consistently funny, too. In those regards, I suppose it's not too different from "Juno". Like an evil twin, perhaps (the common link being Michael Cera, of course).

8: Zodiac
Where was this movie when the Academy was handing out Oscar nominations? Another flawlessly executed and meticulously detailed book adaptation. This film is over two and a half hours long and it coulda gone on for eight more hours and I woulda been glued to my seat, begging for more. Absolutely riveting. And all the more impressive that the story almost entirely focuses on the investigation and the people involved rather than the titular serial killer. David Fincher continues to impress and only the fans seem to care. Don't make this guy wait as long as the Coen Brothers to win an award!

9: Lars and the Real Girl
This movie coulda gone soooooo wrong in soooooo many ways. It really walks the tightrope of taste and credibility and totally slam dunks it. A great deal of this is due to the subtle, but extraordinarily deep performance by Ryan Gosling (whose name shoulda been included on the list for Best Actor Oscar Nominees this year) and, of course, the great script (which did receive an Oscar Nomination, but was bested by the infallible "Juno"). When you watch this movie, think about how you feel about Bianca when you first meet her and compare it to how you feel about her by the end of the film. That's pretty powerful filmmaking.

10: Into the Wild
Here's another film that walks a tightrope. This story could have been presented as either the tale of a brave martyr or a deluded dreamer, but it does neither. It merely shows Chris McCandless as he was and allows the audience to make up its own mind. Whatever your conclusion, I think it's hard for anybody to not be affected by it. I simultaneously felt pity and admiration - something I didn't think was possible. On top of being a well put together true story, it's gorgeously shot (entirely on location, by the way) and, at the very least, effectively illustrates McCandless's infatuation with living the way he did. If you weren't moved by this movie at least a little bit, I feel bad for you. You're probably kind of a dick.

So, that's it. Again, this was a tough list to put together and it'll probably change the next time you talk to me, but here and now, it's how it stands. Hopefully 2008 will be as good, if not better, but let's face it: 2007 was a tough year to top and with the current top-grossing films in theaters being "Jumper" and "Step Up 2 the Streets", I'm skeptical. However, if there's another "Rocket Science" or "Dedication" buried out there somewhere, I'll find it. I implore you to do the same.

Last year on Valentine's Day, I wrote about my love for superheroes. This year, it seems appropriate to discuss what I love even more (and perhaps most of all): MOVIES! Rather than go through the redundant task of writing little snippets about my top ten all-time favorites (If you wanna know what they are, they're right there in my profile), I thought I'd recap my experience at the Sundance Film Festival this past January.

While it wasn't as spectacular and awe-inspiring as last year, it still was more than enough to make me realize I want to go again in 2009. Arriving in Park City was like entering a time warp. It was as if Sundance was reality and the 51 weeks in between last year and this year were merely a long, complex dream. Of course, the town hadn't changed, so that familiarity was to be expected, but everything else seemed exactly the same as well. The number of people, the energy they created, the crowds surrounding the theaters and bars, the conversations you overheard, the spattering of familiar faces, even the amount of snow on the ground seemed exactly the same as it was in 2007.

It wasn't just Park City, either. The van ride into town from the airport got the vibe going immediately. Turns out the editor of "The Wackness" (which happened to be the first movie we had tickets to) was one of our fellow passengers on our way in. Ironically enough, we dilly-dallied too long at dinner and missed the bus that woulda gotten us to that screening on time. We ended up being part of the crowd trying to force their way in like a horde of zombies trying to feed off the living inside. It's a bummer we didn't make it 'cuz that film ended up winning the Audience Award. Plus, apparently Mary-Kate Olsen makes out with Ben Kingsley in it. Anyway, we pledged from that point on to always make sure we showed up to every screening a minimum of a half hour before showtime. Embarassingly enough, though, we shoulda known that from last year. Guess we were still in Portland mode.

Anyway, the festival got off to a rollicking start. After being dropped off at our condo by the airport shuttle, we checked our quarters out and were impressed by its posh-ness. Quickly though, we set out to grab our ticket bundle for the week. We'd merely walked as far as the end of the block and, when the pedestrian crossing gave us the green, who do we see crossing the street in the opposite direction? None other than Quentin Tarantino! I figured we'd be at Sundance a while before seeing a celebrity and independent film icon of his calibre (if at all), but there he was inadvertantly welcoming us. I turned to Dusty (because this was his first time at Sundance) and said, "Well, unless we run into Robert Redford, that's about as good a sighting as you're gonna get at Sundance." At the time, it seemed like a once in a lifetime event, but by the end of the trip, it wasn't a big deal at all. You'll know what I mean as you read further.

So, having missed "The Wackness" we (or at least I) wanted to make damn sure we didn't miss the showing of the next movie we had tickets for. This was George A. Romero's "Diary of the Dead", which is actually being released this weekend in select theatres. The experience of seeing Mr. Romero in person and hearing him talk about his work would've been more than enough to get my money's worth, but the movie turned out to be far and away the greatest film I saw at Sundance this year. It was a tad embarassing to reveal to people in conversations on the bus and in line when they'd ask "So, what's the best movie you've seen so far?" to come back with a zombie movie, but there you have it.

It was absolutely amazing to me that Mr. Romero - the man who made the original "Night of the Living Dead" 40 (yes, FORTY) years ago, could still be at the top of his game. I mean, George Lucas made Star Wars only 30 years ago and failed miserably at trying to re-create that magic less than 20 years later. After seeing Romero deliver the goods so successfully (and let's face it, he doesn't even have half the money and clout that Lucas has), I think I resent George Lucas even more. To look at Romero with his long white pony tail, Harry Caray glasses, and 40 years of filmmaking behind him, you'd think he'd be entering the early stages of senility, but during the Q & A, he came across as sharp as a tack. Witty, friendly, modest, intelligent, honest and most definitely talented.

And it wasn't even Romero just showing us the same tricks. I'm sure that woulda been adequate to make a good movie, but his film showed how he's risen the bar in the genre that he invented by breaking new ground while remaining loyal to his roots. Really, the film has to be seen to be believed, but everything was there: The gore, the suspense, the comedy, the personality, the unpredictability and, best of all (something you tend to see only in a Romero zombie movie), profound relevent social commentary. That's not a joke. Seriously, if you replaced the zombies in this movie with jihadists or something more realistically threatening, I believe we'd have an Oscar-contender on our hands. Oh Lord, how I could write pages and pages more about this masterpiece, but alas, I have the rest of the week at Sundance to cover. You'll just hafta trust me and go see it. I'm talking to the zombie fans here, of course.

The next day, we saw "Good Dick" at Noon. We didn't have advance tickets for this one, so we resorted to the good ol' fashioned "panhandling" for 'em. Normally, that's not too much of a problem, but it's a bit awkward to ask passers-by in a loud voice "Anybody got any extra tickets for 'Good Dick'?" It worked, though, and we got in. It was an interesting movie - A romantic comedy about a stalker and an abused shut-in falling in love and that's about the size of it. Yes, I said romantic comedy and yes, it actually is both funny and romantic. Gotta love a movie that compares the shape of a clitoris to the flux capacitor.

After "Good Dick", I went to get in the wait list line for another movie. Ran into Tarantino again downtown. This time he was surrounded by women. That definitely seemed more Hollywood to me. Anyway, I managed to get into the Danish film "Just Another Love Story" that evening. This was probably my third favorite film I saw there, if I were to rank them all. I haven't seen too many Danish movies, but the ones I have seen have been exceptionally intense - and in a good way, not intense just for their own sake. I remember the Danish film "Brødre" being one of my favorite films of 2004 and being frustrated that nobody really saw it. It was so packed with pathos and humanity that it really deserved to be seen - even if only for the filmmaking itself. "Just Another Love Story" seemed cut from the same cloth. Excruciating to watch and yet a film you can't turn away from. If you get the chance to see this film, try and make sure it's towards the end of your day 'cuz it will exhaust the hell outta you. But, don't watch it just before you go to bed, either or you'll be up all night thinking about it. I suppose I should mention a little something about the plot, but the less you know, the more effective you will find it.

Unfortunately, here's where my experience headed south: Saturday night, somehow I got what seemed to be food poisoning. I'll spare you the details, but in a nutshell, I spent the whole night in the bathroom evacuating every fluid my digestive system contained by any means necessary. And over and over and over again. I was trying to force myself to get better since we had tickets for three movies on Sunday, but it didn't happen. Even though the acts of sickness had passed by morning, I had to devote that whole day to recovering and trying to learn how to eat again. What a waste. The good news is that all three movies I was slated to see that day will almost certainly get a wide release.

So, let's skip ahead to Monday where I was back on track. Geoffrey Gilmore came out to introduce the film "The Last Word" and said something to the effect of "It's 9am Monday morning, it's snowing, and here you are to watch a movie about suicide. What's wrong with you people?" This was another of the better movies at Sundance I saw. I've always thought Wes Bentley was pretty underused, so it was great to seem him in a starring role. He was perfect for this movie, too, given his deadpan delivery. Imagine Ricky Fitts writing other people's suicide notes for a living. Sounds about right, doesn't it? Ray Romano was great as a depressed curmudgeon, too. And the best ending to a movie I've seen in years. I won't spoil it for you, but even if you hate the movie, I think one can't help but love the ending.

Then, we played cards with the woman who played the dead girl in "Disturbia" while we waited in line for the next movie. She said I looked tremendously familiar to her. That's the funny thing about Sundance: You see so many famous and semi-famous people that you start seeing "mirages". I probably shoulda told her I was Steven Soderbergh or something.

Anyway, the next movie was "Anywhere, USA" which we all agreed was probably the worst movie we saw at Sundance this year. It wasn't altogether bad, though. It was interesting enough to watch, but the sum of the parts was better than the whole. The most impressive thing about it was that almost the entire cast was made up of random locals who'd never acted before. If you take into consideration how thrown together this movie was, it was quite a feat. Makes me think I could make a movie decent enough to play at Sundance. We saw Tarantino there again. Dusty had seen him a couple other times before that too, so by now it wasn't all that impressive to any of us.

The next movie we saw was the one I was most wanting to see because I'd read the novel. This was "Choke". Author Chuck Palahniuk was in attendance, so Portland was definitely representin'. It was also cool to see Sam Rockwell (another hugely underrated actor) and Anjelica Huston (who exudes class like somebody in the Royal Family) in attendance. I also "Crash-ed" into Dave Matthews in the restroom before the show.

Cheesy puns aside, the movie itself was a bit of a disappointment. It was competently made, but so are sit-coms. One of the reasons "Fight Club" worked as well as it did is because David Fincher is as out there as Chuck Palahniuk. If you're gonna direct a Chuck Palahniuk adaptation, you gotta bring something more to it than simply telling the story. As Roger Ebert once said, "Movies aren't about what they're about, they're about how they're about it."

Tuesday was our last day for watching movies and we managed to squeeze in four that day. The first one was "Goliath". An amusing slice-of-life, but ultimately forgettable. Some great moments in it, though. Wiley Wiggins was in this movie and I was standing right next to him in line and didn't even recognize him. He's gotten pretty fat and blonde (very different from Mitch Kramer).

I met my friend Jennie for lunch who I hadn't seen in probably five years. We were supposed to get together last year, but she got pneumonia. This year, I got food poisoning, so I thought we were gonna miss each other again, but we made it work. Unfortunately, I was distracted during our entire lunch because I couldn't stop looking at Carla Gugino who was just a few feet away. Man oh man, is she hot in person! I was floored because most celebrities aren't as good looking in the flesh. Case in point, she was having lunch with Marley Shelton, who looked like ass.

We show up for the next movie and, like before most movies, I run to the restroom beforehand. When I come back, I see a familiar face sitting just a couple seats away and one row up from mine. I glance at Dusty and he gives me a look and gesture that says, "Guess what; Tarantino's following us around." Yep, this time we were close enough to hear his conversations - he was talking to Diego Luna for the most part. I had plenty of opportunity to start up a conversation (it was a good half hour before the movie started), but I still didn't talk to him. Even though he's directed some of my favorite movies (and my all-time favorite movie, to boot), he still strikes me as a huge spazz. I'd rather him remain an anonymous artist whose work I admire and leave it at that.

Those seemed to be the choice seats for celebrity-spotting, though, because that whole row in front of us was reserved for the jury. That's when it dawned on us that that's why we were seeing Tarantino everywhere. He was seeing the same movies we were since they were in competition and he was a judge. Sitting directly in front of me for that same screening was Marcia Gay Harden. She seemed very sweet and had a lovely back-of-the-neck. Also there were Mary Harron and Sandra Oh.

As for the movie itself (which was "Downloading Nancy"), it was pretty compelling and not interested in steering away from controversy in the slightest. I liked the film (as much as possible for something with such grim subject matter), but in the wake of the brillance of "Just Another Love Story" and how it portrayed enduring pain, I felt like this film was trying to get its point across thru shock value. On a side note, though, I found it amusing that in the scene where Jason Patric blindfolds Maria Bello and has her walk barefoot over mouse traps, Tarantino was flinching. I felt like saying, "Come on, man! After all the carnage you've put onto celluloid, surely you can take this!"

Next was "Baghead". Easily the funniest movie I saw at Sundance. I never saw "The Puffy Chair", but definitely want to now. The brothers that directed this know how to bring out good improvisation from their actors. Even more impressive, though, was how this film effectively and seamlessly combined comedy and suspense. Really, that's a virtually impossible thing to do and these guys made it look so easy that I doubt anyone'll really notice. This is a great movie to watch in a big group of friends. It's also another one where the less you know to begin with, the more you'll enjoy it.

Finally, the last film of the festival I saw was "The Escapist". This screened at 11:30 that night and I was having a hard time remaining upright. Lucky for me this was a film about a prison break and, oh how I love my prison break movies! Eclectic, quirky characters each with their own role in the convoluted escape and no shortage of macho conflicts and close calls. To top it off, it had a "Usual Suspects" type of twist ending that may piss off some, but made me want to see it again immediately to piece together the puzzle with a knowing eye. This was like a harder, grittier, angrier, tougher, meaner and way more bad-ass "Ocean's Eleven". I can't wait to see it again.

So, the best films of the festival bookended it and I wouldn't have it any other way. Of course, there were plenty of other movies there I wanted to see but couldn't (for starters, those three I missed while I was recuperating from the Civil War that had been fought in my abdomen), but hopefully I'll get around to seeing those later this year. And now that the Hollywood writer's strike is settled, hopefully this will be as good a year for movies as 2007 was.

And with all I've just now written, you'd think I was freeing myself from the writer's strike. Sheesh!

Roy Scheider died last night. That makes me sad.

He worked pretty steadily during his career as an actor but I can't remember the most recent movie of his that I've seen (although, being a comic book nerd, I was kinda interested in seeing 2004's "The Punisher" in which Mr. Scheider plays the title character's father). That hardly matters, though, because every news bulletin you hear reporting his death mentions JAWS straight away. He'd gotten a couple Oscar nominations in there somewhere, but… c'mon, with a blockbuster like JAWS on your resume, it's hard to top that. Unless you're Steven Spielberg, of course.

Anyone who knows me at all knows that I have had a life-long love and borderline obsession with the movie JAWS. I've seen it more times than I can count and I suppose I've grown to love Chief Brody as much as any other movie character. With every viewing, I feel like I get to know all the characters better, but Brody's got to be my favorite. He's a guy I've often thought, "I'd like to get a beer with him sometime."

A lot of the likeability of that character comes from real subtleties. His slight clumsiness, his patient indulgence of difficult people, his attentiveness to his family, his watching swimmers from the beach without trying to look too nervous, and perhaps best of all, the way he quietly checks out his own appen..omy scar while Quint and Hooper boastfully compare their more rugged wounds. I don't know how much of this was acting and how much of it was Roy Scheider, but it worked beautifully. The proof is in how bummed I feel now that he's gone.

Of course, it's not all about Brody, either. I've seen Mr. Scheider in plenty of interviews and behind-the-scenes footage and he seemed like a really cool guy. One in particular I remember was his comment on how the shooting schedule for JAWS ran way overtime: "It's not the time it takes to take the takes that takes the time, it's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time to take the takes," he said and then crossed his eyes and shook his head.

In the wake of Heath Ledger's tragic and untimely death, people won't be talking much about Mr. Scheider after the first day or two, but here was a man who was as talented as he was underused. I appreciated him and still do. And still will. And I'm certain that I will now feel an even more intense surge of enthusiasm when I hear his exuberant victory yell combined with glorious laughter at the climax of JAWS (which is the greatest film in the history of mankind – in case you missed it).

Hey. If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.

To be sure, spam is annoying. I assume it's annoying to everyone, but for people who think it's a quick and easy way to make a buck, that can at least be understood if not condoned. There must be some people out there looking to lower their mortgage or enlarge their penis, otherwise these messages wouldn't run as rampant as they do.

As if spam wasn't annoying enough though, there are online perverts sending random unsolicited lewd emails to total strangers as well. I guess this is the 21st Century's equivalent to construction workers hassling passers-by. Except the anonymity of the internet allows these sickos to sink all the lower. You ladies know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. I can't even devolve low enough to demonstrate how these ignorant scum bags from the primordial ooze write their filth, but it's almost always peppered with spelling errors, poor punctuation, total disregard for proper grammar, and often lacking any sense of comprehension whatsoever outside of a confused collection of dirty words. How can these people get far enough in life to even know how to send an email in the first place? Not only that, do they really expect to pick up a girl (or a guy) through this mode of "reaching-out"? These people are even less ambitious and more useless than virus-makers. Frightening.

Anyway, from the smoke comes a hero. And that hero's name is Lucy Dee.



Apparently this is a girl online (and only 22 years old, making it all the more impressive) who, like too many others, has been sent an onslaught of sickening offers to have various parts of her body fondled, bitten and penetrated (to say nothing of other ghastly propositions, I'm sure) and she's finally had enough of it to incite her to start up a website called StuffTheySay.

The manifesto of this brilliant site seems to be, not only a place for her to exorcise these demons that lecherously taunt her, but to also allow people to air their own complaints of similar experiences. Everyone, pay attention: THIS is what a blog should aspire to be. And it's well-designed, too.

Just to the left of my blog, I can see that people out there are reading what I'm writing. Now I suggest you (whoever you are) read what Lucy Dee is writing. I suppose it's even possible some of you have authored one or two of the "love letters" she's posted. The rest of you who have been on the receiving end of emails like these, I implore you to contribute your own intercepted nastiness to her site and furthermore pass her URL along to anyone else you know who may find it amusing. If ever there was a website that deserved to be famous, it's this one (second only to Snopes, which is another you all should visit from time to time just to stay on your toes).

Now if only someone would come up with a website where we could forward our spam to the spammers themselves, we'd really be onto something.

This is my nephew, Wyatt:



As I write this, he's less than a day old. I haven't met him yet, but he looks like a nice enough guy, don'cha think?

I only have one brother. No sisters (unless you count Wyatt's mom). Furthermore, my sister-in-law has no siblings. Since I'm nowhere near married, I'm this kid's only uncle. I'm not sure what that means for me as far as responsibilities. So far as I can tell, there are none outside of teaching the kid new and exciting ways to torment his parents - a task which I am looking forward to with the utmost enthusiasm. Also, since he's a boy, that amplifies my repertoire of tricks exponentially (I was a mischievous boy... and I have a great memory). Farts alone will provide for endless amounts of hi-jinx.

Anyway, having just one brother, and this being his first kid, it's a new experience for me. The mere concept is very slowly and almost imperceptibly starting to sink in. As I said, I haven't met him yet since he just kicked off his world tour last night, so who knows what kind of emotional and philsophical epiphanies I'll experience once I see him in the flesh? Perhaps writing about it now is a bit premature. Still, I thought I should say something to mark the occasion. I mean, if I found Joseph Barbera's death worthy enough for a blog post, my first nephew's birth certainly deserves a mention.

Alas, I have no profound insight or existential meditations on new life at the moment. Whatever. Truthfully, I find that when I think on matters like this, my mind tends to wander towards Charlie Brown comics. Seriously, I think you can find the meaning of life in reading PEANUTS if you look hard enough. For instance, in thinking about my brand new nephew and how his every sensation is a new experience, the conclusion I always seem to come back to is this:



Can you argue with that?

As someone who both is a big movie fan and works in advertising design, I got a BIG kick outta this:

I came across this website called Something Awful which contains a section called Photoshop Phriday. Apparently, this is where every Friday, contributors to this website submit their own Photoshop manipulations based on particular themes. Generally speaking, they're quite clever and pretty well rendered. What caught my eye were two particular sections (almost perfect flipsides of each other):

One, film posters from popular movies re-imagined to look like grindhouse exploitation flicks. Below is their version of "Schindler's List", but you should check out their other ones here.



Two (as I said, on the flipside), we have second-rate Hollywood shlock film posters rendered to look like poignant, Oscar-winning arthouse films (often given a foreign film makeover). More here, but below is a poster for "Big Momma's House".



Too great. I've always found this kinda stuff inspiring. Makes me wanna go out and create something that makes fun of something else.

"Spider-Man 3" set the record for most money made by a movie on opening weekend which was previously held by "Star Wars – Episode III: Revenge of the Sith". George Lucas was asked what he thought about this and his response was (and I quote):

"It's a silly movie. There just isn't much there. Once you take it all apart, there's not much story, is there?"

Oh, really? And I suppose you think that triumvirate of pure crap you made which tainted the previously wondrous STAR WARS legacy was an example of profound storytelling, huh? I saw "Spider-Man 3" opening weekend and, while it was by no means great (and perhaps even downright mediocre), it absolutely and unequivocally blew every single goddam STAR WARS movie released within the past decade completely out of the water as far as storyline. And actually, you know what? I think even the special effects were better. At least, they were certainly less cartoony and far less distracting than what you had to offer in your last three flicks.

That hardly matters, though, because if you toned down the special effects of "Spider-Man 3" to the degree of the cheesy Nicholas Hammond TV version from the 70's, it would still be something worth seeing. Again - not great, but worth seeing. If you toned down the special effects of STAR WARS 1, 2, or 3, you know what you'd have? Bored actors in front of a green-screen, that's what! So, George… If you're going to publicly denounce ANY movie for having a piss-poor script, make sure you've written something even halfway decent in the past 20 years first. 'Cuz, guess what – you haven't! There's more compelling plot development in any five minutes of "Spider-Man 3" than there is in ALL of your trilogy of special-effects-ridden tripe.

Hack.

Another night of the Academy Awards has passed us by and, all and all, it seemed to go pretty well. I don't put a lotta stock in the Oscars 'cuz the Academy has severely botched the winners (and nominations) in the past, but they're getting better. Scorcese finally got his Oscar as did his film, so there was at least justice in that.

I didn't get out to see many movies this year. Indeed, my list of films I still want to see (but haven't) has been longer for 2006 than any previous year in recent memory. Be that as it may, though, I always compile my list of favorites around Oscar time. Of course, this list is always in a constant state of flux (as are the lists from previous years), but as for right here and right now - the day after the Academy Awards ceremony - these are my top ten favorite* films from 2006:

#1: Art School Confidential
I knew when I saw this that it would be my favorite film of the year simply because I went to art school and what I was watching was basically a re-creation of my college experience. Never before has a movie spoken to me so personally - I knew every character, every student, every professor, and even recognized the people in the background who had no lines. It was like some grand inside joke between me and the screen and I loved it. Despite the fact it's my number one movie (and probably infallibly) from last year, I'd have a hard time recommending it to anyone who didn't go to art school. That makes it all the more precious to me.

#2: Little Miss Sunshine
I'm glad this movie got as many nominations as it did (and I'm especially glad it won for best original screenplay). Dysfunctional-family-bonding-over-disastrous-road-trips-from-hell movies aren't anything new, but I was amazed at how simultaneously sweet and cynical this movie could be. For instance, Grandpa imploring teenage Dwayne to have sex with as many girls as he can (espcially underage ones) while he's still young is actually sorta moving in a bitter kinda way.

#3: United 93
I've heard a lot of people accuse this movie of being premature and exploitive. Premature is a judgment call for each individual (personally, I think it's crucial that it came out so soon), but it's not any more exploitive then "Schindler's List". Whatever your thoughts are on 9/11, you can't deny that this is a flawlessly executed re-creation of the horrifying events of that day. It doesn't portray anybody as a hero or a villian or even a victim. It simply shows what happened and lets it speak for itself. I felt like I was watching a documentary, really. It's excruciating to watch, but it's also very important. It's unfortunate (but understandable) that so many people refused to watch it - I think it would do everyone some good to see it - especially now with all the atrocities the Bush administration has used 9/11 as an excuse for. If nothing else, don't bad-mouth a movie without having seen it first. Who do you think you are? Bob Dole?

#4: The Departed
Oh, Marty... How I missed your movies with foul-mouthed inner-city hoods committing cold-blooded acts of violence you want to shield your eyes from, but can't. It's so good to have you back. And how it is you manage to bring out the absolute best of any actor you direct? Congratulations on your well-deserved and long overdue Oscar. Don't you ever die.

#5: Clerks II
I was prepared to hate this movie and give Kevin Smith his final sendoff as a sell-out, but I was very pleasantly surprised. I liked the changes he made and where he took the characters. Not a particularly outstanding movie, but I laughed a lot and loved seeing the reunion of his repertoire of characters from the "ViewAskewniverse". Wasn't that the whole point? I do hope he moves onto something else, though, now. Quit while you're ahead, Bob.

#6: Letters from Iwo Jima
Objectively speaking, this one probably deserved to win the Oscar for best picture. Funny, though: I thought (again, objectively speaking) that "The Aviator" deserved to win over "Million Dollar Baby" two years ago. Doesn't matter, though, as long as Clint and Marty both get theirs. Anyway, this one started out as a pretty standard WWII flick, but it slowly got under my skin and, like "Das Boot", did an amazing job of portraying the war through the enemy's eyes and showing it was every bit as hellacious and senseless for them. When you get right down to it, war is just soldiers fighting soldiers and the "winner" is just the side that didn't get completely wiped out. Yay.

#7: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan
This is the hardest I laughed at the movies all year. True, there are three comedies I rated higher on this list, but this is the only one that brought me to tears from laughing. This is the perfect example of how sophisticated and smart low-brow humor can be. It's not easy to do, either. This biggest tragedy of this film is that it can't be made again (now that the joke's out). On the other hand, there's lotsa areas of America where ignorance reigns supreme and I'm sure they're not in on it yet. Furthermore, they could probably do with a visit from Borat more than anyone.

#8: Casino Royale
I grew up on James Bond. I love James Bond. It's a wonderfully familiar formula. No, it's more than a formula. It's tradition. Don't mess with tradition. Yet somehow, they messed with it...and it worked! I suppose the way it worked was that they harkened back to the roots of Ian Fleming's original vision (which had evolved over the years into a reliable multi-million dollar film franchise). I've liked Daniel Craig's previous work, but I liked him more as a bad guy in the past. Not sure he'd have what it takes to be James Bond. I'm still not sure he's ideal for what I consider to be the definitive Bond - Bond should be more of a cunning gentleman than a resilient tough-guy - but it's a refreshing change. I'm wondering where they'll take it from here and I can't wait to see more.

#9: Cars
It's a pretty good bet that if PIXAR releases a movie - and I see it - it'll make my top ten. The thing I love most about PIXAR's movies is that, not only do they have great characters, mind-blowing visuals, intelligent dialogue, great action sequences, and often hilarious comedy, but almost ALWAYS is there a redeeming message in there. Any other Disney movie seems to perpetuate cruelty in children by showing that good guys are good-looking and that success equals being rich and famous and blah blah blah. This is probably the weakest PIXAR movie I've seen, but the fact it still managed to squeeze into my top ten says something about their resume.

#10: Superman Returns
I have mixed feelings about this one, actually. They took a few uncalled-for liberties with the legend and the casting wasn't as good as it coulda been, but I smiled at all the references to classic Superman moments (only someone as dorky as me could spot them) and I found the action sequences very exciting. It was great to see Superman shown in action with the kind of special effects he deserves. It's not the best superhero movie ever made by any means, but compared to a lot of the crap they're turning out for the sake of a built-in audience and an easy buck, they did a pretty good job with this one. At least, its heart is in the right place.

So, there you have it. My favorite* movies of 2006 as of February 26th, 2007. It'll be interesting to see how different it is a year from now. I know my 2005 list has changed considerably.

* "Favorite" is simply defined as movies I liked the most and any correlation to the actual quality of the film is incidental. Also, there are several films that remain unseen that I'm sure would bump off some of the bottom feeders here. So, in other words, if you think any of the movies on this list sucked, I don't give a shit. Go write your own list. This one's mine.

I know it's Valentine's Day and I should be all mooshy and gooshy and squooshy and reflect on girls in the past that have made me feel warm and tingly and speculate on the future ones yet to be discovered and cherished, but I feel like writing a love letter of a different kind. Just bear with me here.

There are few things in our lives that we have loved farther back than we can even remember. Parents, of course. Desserts, probably. Whatever animals we grew up with. And, of course, individual interests that seemed to choose us more than we chose them. For me, one that stands out in that last category would be superheroes.

My older brother probably introduced me to superheroes given the fact he was walking and talking and interacting with other kids when I was still a baby, so I probably picked it up from him. He was always partial to Superman and the other members of the Justice League, though. Not sure where my obsession with Spider-Man originated.

As a child, I WAS Spider-Man. Pure and simple. I wore my Spider-Man pajamas all day, climbed on the furniture keeping vigilant watch on the city, webbed people who seemed a threat, and insisted on being read Spider-Man comics when I was put to bed. The only hiatus I would take from being Spider-Man was to be Robin to my brother's Batman. Since neither Spider-Man nor Superman had sidekicks, if we wanted to be superheroes together, Batman and Robin was it. The babysitter was always the villian, of course.

Anyway, as devoted as I was to Spider-Man (up until the release of "Return of the Jedi" solidified my wholehearted conversion to STAR WARS), I found a certain curious intrigue in Captain America. My cousin introduced me to him with this issue when I was probably about four years old. Now, Spider-Man was cool for obvious reasons (the web-slinging, the wall-crawling, the spider-sense, etc.), but Captain America commanded my respect immediately despite having no real super-powers. Because he had no super-powers, actually.

To be sure, Batman is a human with no super-powers, either. But, Batman has gadgets up the wazoo. He's got a utility belt, a cool car, a cape, a sidekick and if that's not enough, he's a millionaire. What does Captain America have? A shield. That's it. No armour to deflect bullets, no cape to slow his fall, no guns or knives or sticks, just his bad-ass self with his bad-ass shield. Now THAT'S a superhero. Even more than that, though, is the Captain's attitude. Always steadfast in doing the right thing. Never hesitating to attack a legion of armed men single-handedly. Only really losing his temper when the innocent are punished. And never, ever giving up.

My brother and I always try to surprise each other with things from our past. The more obscure, the better. Usually this is manifested in the form of Christmas gifts. This past year, he got me the very same Captain America comic my cousin had given me over 25 years ago. I guess I was looking for a new hobby, 'cuz this re-invigorated me to seek out the old Captain America issues from that era. Really, how much more exhilirating can comics get then Captain America issues from our nation's bicentennial (and by the master Jack Kirby, no less)?

In reading these, and remembering how cool Captain America is, I sometimes wonder what Cap would make of this world today. Don't think he'd be too happy with what our country's been up to. He'd be doing something about it, though, you can be sure. Curiosity got the better of me last night, though. I was killing time in Borders Books and came across a brand-new issue of current day Spider-Man with a guest appearance of the Captain himself. Being totally oblivious to what plotlines modern-day comics have taken (that's deliberate oblivion, by the way, 'cuz lotsa these hotshot comic book writers have taken unconscionable liberties with my beloved heroes to disgraceful levels of audacity - changing their costumes, making them villians, killing them, having them come out of the closet - enough already), I wasn't sure what to expect. What's Captain America like in a post-9/11 world?

What he had to say almost brought me to tears. Okay, so I'm the biggest nerd ever to be so deeply moved by a friggin' comic book, but so what? A hero is a hero no matter what form it comes in - real or imagined. And aren't heroes, after all, meant to inspire us? This is what Captain America had to say to Spider-Man on the rooftop last night. Basically, he's quoting Mark Twain, but his own personal epilogue is what I think really drives the message home. I've included the accompanying imagery for the last panel because seeing the Captain standing there as he is, is necessary to gain the full effect:

"I remember the first time I really understood what it was to be an American...What it was to be a patriot. I was just a kid...A million years ago, it seems sometimes. Maybe twelve. I was reading Mark Twain. And he wrote something that struck me right down to my core...something so powerful, so true, that it changed my life. I memorized it so I could repeat it to myself, over and over across the years. He wrote --'In a republic, who is the country?

Is it the government which is for the moment in the saddle? Why, the government is merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn't. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.

Who, then is the country? Is it the newspaper? Is it the pulpit? Why, these are mere parts of the country, not the whole of it, they have not their command,  they have only their little share in the command.

In a monarchy, the king and his family are the country; In a republic it is the common voice of the people, each of you, for himself, by himself and on his own responsibility, must speak. It is a solemn and weighty responsibility, and not lightly to be flung aside at the bullying of pulpit, press, government, or the empty catchphrases of politicians.

Each must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, and which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide it against your convictions is to be an unqualified and inexcusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.

If you alone of all the nation shall decide one way, and that way be the right way according to your convictions of the right, you have done your duty by yourself and by your country. Hold up your head. You have nothing to be ashamed of.'"

My hero.