I never imagined that watching my baby girl becoming a mommy would be so incredibly rewarding.  I see her changing physically, and that was totally expected.  What I see happening to my beautiful daughter is something so amazing that I really don't have the right words for.

We have been through so much over the last few years that it many times took me away from the direction that I needed to take my family.  I allowed my own grief, regrets, and pain take over so much of my life and now, regardless of the current circumstances within our imediate family there is such a ray of sunshine.

It's so true that each soul is replaced by a new one, and I personally see this amazing life that Lauren and Josh are bringing into our lives that very gift that we are all being given in return for the faith and trus that we continued to have in God through dark moment in our lives.

I am seeing my daugher become this amazing woman but what is more, she is becoming the very mom that I had always known she would be.  God really blessed me with my daugher, and she will soon feel that indescribable love that mothers have for their children.  I can't wait to see that moment that will transform her life forever. 

I need her to know  and realize that I am always going to be there for her, and on those days when NOTHING seems to go right and she feels like she is the worst mom in the world ... I will remind her that the person that I see is far from the worst.  I hope that she will believe me when I tell he that moms are just humans that God put on Earth to take care of his children the best way we could, and when we stumble it is up to us to look to Him for the strength to stand up and learn from whatever it was that caused us to fall.  THAT is what makes us good moms.

I know she is going to be a phenominal mommy, and I hope that God will give me whatever it is I need as HER mother to guide her when needs it and help he when she wants it.  I hope that every mother has the chance to see the metamorphisis in their daughters that I am watching happen everyday with mine.  Because every single day that goes by ... I find that I love her more, and I had no idea that it could even be possilbe.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
 even if she never wants to or needs to...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

something perfect to wear if the employer,
 or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry..



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
 that will make her guests feel honored...



A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. ..

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...



EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

~Maya Angelou

 Recently I have made contact with a few of my oldest and dearest friends.  Each of them holds a special place in my life, some of them in more ways than others but all dear nonetheless.

 Thoughout our lives, we are touched my several people but as we all learn there is only a handful of those that remain in our hearts.  You may not have any contact for many, many years.  In the case of one of my dearest friends ... it has been about 26 yrs, however ... it was like it was last month since the last time we talked, and we never missed a beat.  I'll never again get that same feeling in my lifetime ... and I'm OK with that.  Thank you, my "spirital twin!"

As for the others, it was pretty much the same; we laughed, compared stories, filled in the gaps, and shared our lives.  I've realized just how quickly time goes by and now that I have found those that I have been searching for, I always want to keep you in my life.  Knowing that you have been missed and are loved the way that you have all shared with me is unbelievably AMAZING, and I will never forget this ... not ever!

In closing, I would like to challenge each of you that read this to seek out those that have left heart prints in your soul.  Our lives only go around once, and you must fill it with as much love as you can; you never know someone that you wished you could have gotten in touch with just one more time will leave this world.  Make sure that they know just how they changed your life. I just can't stress that enough ... it really matters.

Love you all,

Kimberly

I had the sad task of emptying out my daughter's room.  I just kept working and working on it until her whole life was taped up in a box.  Everything except her computer, stereo, tv, and her kitty's personal belongings (I have her cat for now until she can have her back)  I finished by vacuuming up every last thing, shut off the light, took one last look in and walked away.  My heart is breaking ... but I will be OK.  I have to just work through this, look to the possitives in this, and focus on giving my son, Mason his own space in this room.  Also turning the other bedroom into my youngest boy's own space.  With every ending is a beginning.  She is beginning her new life in Ohio ... and she seems happy ... that makes me smile.  I can push back my saddness to see her smile ... it brightens up my whole life.

With that said, I am going to go light some candles, play some music and soak in my big huge tub and then turn in for the night.

Goodnight my sweet princess!!!!

Well, today I put my only daughter on a plane to Ohio to finish out her senior year at her dad's.  Academicly it is what is best for her, but I can't help but feel like I have made some kind of huge mistake.  When she hugged and kissed me bye, I and I watched her walk away, though she is 18, going on 19, I saw my little girl walking out of my life.  I wanted desperately to run after her and take her home, but I knew that I couldn't do that.  To say that my heart is breaking ... well ... I just want to rip it out of my chest.  I was supposed to see her through to the end of her senior year and be part of all the senior stuff that as parents we all work to get our kids to.  Prom is going to be the hardest for me.  We have spent many hours searching for the right dress, jewelry, shoes, and other accessories for winter balls, military balls and junior prom.  Those are the kind of things that makes being a mom worthwhile ... just to see that amazing young woman emerge from her room looking like the princess you always thought she was ... the glow on her face, the twinkle in her eye and how proud she was to feel so amazing ... there are no words to describe how that feels.  I won't get that this year ... the most important dance of a girl's life ... and I HER MOTHER, won't be there for it.

I haven't had the guts to look in her now empty room (well, there is still some of her garbage to be thrown away, and of course her furniture) but I walked by and it smelled like her.  I won't shut the door, and the room will become my son's here in a few days, but for now ... I just want to hang on to it for a little while.  Little things like her barbies, and porceline dolls are still in there waiting to be stored away, looking as though they have been abandoned.  I'll just leave it that way a little while.

I miss her so painfully already, and it's only been a few hours.  Do I share this with her?  I want to share as much of her life via the phone and this stupid computer (I guess I better cut the computer some slack since it will play a huge role in communication with my little girl) but I don't want to look desperate ... BUT I AM DESPERATE!!!!  She is MY daughter ... I loved her first ... I saw her face before anybody else, and it was me that she loved first.  Sure we have our moments, but aren't we supposed to?  Isn't that part of a mother and daughter?

I'm a good mother ... I raised an amazing and wonderful daughter ... I DID IT!!!! And now every song I hear, every thing I see reminds me of the child that I just had to let go ... and without warning.  It's not like she was going off to college and I had time to prepare for this!!!  IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME ... but I want her to be happy, and I will sacrafice my heart for that.  This will get better with time, but today ... just let me cry.

Hey ya'll!!  Guess what ... the sun shines on a dogs ass every once in a a while.  We have had an incredible run of luck, and I just wanted to share it with you.

First of all, I have been approved for a plastic surgery that I have been begging for (it's a private thing), we got orders to move to GA, and today at about 7:10 am pacific time we found out that Brian made Master Sgt (E-7).  We are soooo excited and we feel that we are very blessed.  I just wanted to share our good luck with everone.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.