It's official, I'm going to meet Dog when he comes to Calgary, April 11. I was online at ticket master at 9:59am to buy the first tickets that went on sale at 10am. Aren't you jealous? In honor of this occasion, I made a new and improved Dog Poster as my new picture, with yours truly in it.
Thus begins my journey towards becoming a bounty hunter. I will move my family to Hawaii (which I plan to do regardless of whether or not I'm accepted by Dakine Bail bonds) and load up with a bullet proof vest and some pepper spray. I'm ready to go, I've learned all I need to from the Dog. Watch out wayward criminals! This is the last stop for you, bail jumping scum! Meet my boot!
Actually, I just want to see that sweet, feather encrusted mullet for myself. I also thought I could pop those boobs with a pin to see what happens.
Because I love you all so, I leave with a few Dogisms:
"#1 You don't hit women, #2 You don't hit pregnant women."
"Jimmy Swaggart was my role model and he was caught buying whores twice. So don't look at me as a role model."
"Don't hit the women"
"You're going to the hotel without a window"
"Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum, watch out fugitives here we come"
And one Lelandism: "Tombstones don't talk back"
And last but not least, a Lisaism: "Meet my boot!"
I just realized that this is my first real blog post. Is that sad?