Are you REALLY Trusting God?
The Single Heart E-Newsletter
Issue 14 Volume 2

I’m sure most of us are familiar with this famous passage of Scripture:

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I can hear some of your thoughts now, "I know. I know. How many times do I have to hear that Scripture?" But even though you may have heard it, and may even know it by heart, have you really received it?

When I think of the word, "trust," I think of an absolute confidence in. I have absolute confidence in the fact that when I enter a movie theater and have a seat, the seat won’t break underneath me. I trust so much that I don’t even bother to check and make sure it’s firmly affixed to the floor. If I did folks would probably look at me like I was crazy, because they trusted so much that they, too, sat right in their seats without thinking about it twice as well.

The word, "trust" in the original Greek of this passage of Scripture means, "batach," which means to be confident, bold, or sure. As single believers, we must learn to be confident, bold, and sure in the Lord about everything.

The Scripture also admonishes us to trust in the Lord with all of our heart. Not just part of our heart. Not just one part which says, "I trust you Lord," while the other part says, "but what if I never get married?" or, "what if I never meet the right one for me since the odds are stacked against me?" or, "what if I get too old and men would no longer find me attractive?" These heart confessions are filled with fear which is contrary to faith, belief, and trust. And we know that God is not the author of fear, but that He is the author and finisher of our faith.

The second part of the verse 5 says, ...and lean not unto thine own understanding.

The Message Bible states in its translation: ...don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Don’t try and figure out why you’re still single while getting yourself all stressed out and blood pressure rising because you feel your time is running out or your biological clock is ticking. Sometimes we put ourselves in such a rut feeling sorry for ourselves - thinking we must not be wife material - or, "if only i looked a certain way i would be married by now," - or, "if only I lived in a different city I would be married by now," - or, "if only i went to a different church i would be married by now," - and on and on and on...

Instead of chasing a man, we should be focused on chasing God and the perfect will of God for our lives.

This is not to say that there is anything wrong with desiring a mate; we just have to be careful not to allow our "desire" to turn into an anxiety or care, because God wants us to cast all of our cares on Him. He bore all of our cares for us when He died on the cross. (Isaiah 53:5)

He wants us to be content where we are right now in our current station in life, and He wants us to celebrate the birth, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus, not just on Resurrection Sunday, which we celebrated this past Sunday, but every day of our lives.

He wants to resurrect our joy. He wants to resurrect our peace. Jesus died so that we might have joy, and that our joy might be full - whether we’re single or married. (John 15:11)

So instead of asking yourself if you’re really trusting God for a mate, instead ask yourself if you’re really trusting God with your life.

Much love in Christ,

Kim Brooks
Author of, He’s Saved...But is He For Real? which is the sequel to Black Expressions’ Bestseller, He’s Fine...But is He Saved?
*Both currently available in bookstores nationwide.

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Is it possible to be alone, but not alone? Or alone, but not lonely? Sometimes it seems like every waking day of our lives we, singles, are reminded of the fact that we don't have a mate; whether it's walking in the mall observing couples, driving, billboards, magazines, watching couples in church raise their tithe envelope together during offering, hearing it from family or married friends who want to "marry you off," or even enjoying a movie. Movies like Tyler Perry's, "Why Did I Get Married?" have some singles in a tizzy wondering why all the drama, and can I just get married first?

For this issue of The Single Heart, I am led to remind you that it IS possible for one to be alone, but not lonely. Or alone, but not alone. The word, "alone," in Webster's 1828 Edition Dictionary means: single, without the presence of another, and without company. The word, "lonely" denotes a feeling, and it means: abandoned, forsaken, friendless, lonely-heart, and lonesome.

According to Genesis, the first man God created was Adam. Before God gave man a wife, He gave him a job, which was to till the ground and guard and protect it - Gen. 2:15 (which means ladies, if brotha man tries to holla, make sure he at least has a j - o - b!) God delighted in His fellowship time with His creation, man, who was created in God's own image and likeness (Gen. 1:26)

There was no indication that Adam was anywhere sitting at the dock of the bay singing, "Woe is me. I'm lonely. Nobody knows..." No, Adam was enjoying his time spent in the presence of God, naming the animals, working on his God-given assignment, and having a good 'ole time.

As you read the text, you'll notice that it was God's idea to create a help meet for Adam, and not Adam's (Gen. 2:18). God presented Adam with his mate, and Adam recognized who she was. Also notice that God did the presenting, and He knew exactly what Adam wanted (physical attraction) and needed (help)

God had a plan for mankind. He wanted mankind to multiply so He could have a godly world full of His children - or those who are called by His name. We all know that when Adam disobeyed God in the Garden of Eden that that plan was thwarted, but thank God for sending Jesus, in the form of a second Adam, as our Redeemer! Jesus' death and resurrection symbolizes restoration. Our lives have been restored back to fellowship with God. Not only that, God not only is omnipresent, but He also is in us as 2 Corinthians 6:16 states, "...ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people."

He also reminds us in His Word:

...there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)

...for thou are with me, thy rod and thy staff comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

For these reasons and more, single believers should never feel lonely, because with Him, you're never alone. He is there, all the time, waiting to hear from you. Waiting to fellowship with you every waking hour. Waiting for you to seek His face because He has some secrets from His Word that He wants to share. He wants to share His own unique, divine assignment that He has especially for you (Eph. 2:10, Phil. 1:6). 

Whether you're alone as a result of not having a significant other in your life, never been married, or having been divorced or widowed - you may be alone, but you're not alone. God has been there with you, every step of the way, and He's still there - loving you, keeping You, and holding you in His ever loving arms.

Posted by Kim Brooks, author of the Black Expressions Best-Selling Novel, He's Fine...but is he Saved? (available in bookstores nationwide) and The Little Black Survival Book for Single Saints.  To sign up to receive The Single Heart E-Newsletter emailed to you free each month, visit www.kimontheweb.com and enter your email address, or enter your email address on this MySpace page.  For more information about Kim Brooks' books and ministry, visit www.Kimontheweb.com

 
"Lord, Where's MY Mate!!!???"
The Single Heart Newsletter
Issue 7, Volume 1

Have you ever cried out to God like that? "Lord, where is my mate?!" Have you ever been mad at God because it seems like He's blessing you in every other area except the mate department? Before you're so quick to say, "no," examine yourself and honestly answer that question. While you're answering that question, ask yourself why you want to get married so badly? Is it companionship – physically and emotionally? Is it because you want someone to 'help pay these bills'? Ladies, is it because you need a man to be a father figure because your 'baby daddy' is no where to be found? Is it because you want someone to buy you nice things, make you laugh, and make you happy? Is it because you want someone to call your own? If you notice, all of the previous responses have one thing in common – they all involve pleasing oneself.

Me, me, me, me, ME!

However marriage, the way God intended, is all about pleasing the other person. 1 Corinthians 7:32-33 says, But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.

When you get married it's not all about you anymore . . . it's all about that other person you said, "I do" to.

This is why it's so important for single Christians to get it right, right now, as a single by maintaining pleasing God as your 1 priority as 1 Cor. 7:32 indicates. A lot of times, how you remain faithful to God will determine how you will remain faithful to your future spouse. You remain faithful to God by showing Him you love Him by keeping His commandments (John 14:15). One of His commandments is to abstain from sex before marriage (1 Thessalonians 4:1-4). By consistently disobeying this commandment with an unrepentant heart proves that you are cheating on and being unfaithful to God - and He's supposed to be the one you really LOVE!

God has commandments such as, "no sex before marriage," not because He's punishing you, but because He's protecting you.

He loves you so much that He wants what's best for you, and He wants to bless you out of this world - but His hands are tied if you refuse to obey and serve Him.

While as a single Christian your life's aim should be to please God, your desire, as a married person should be to please your spouse.

I believe God considers marriage a promotion because it proves that God is trusting you enough to take all of that selfless love that you have for Him and for others and transferring that love to your spouse. Two married people's aim should be to live each day living to please and serve one another. Your attitude, when you wake up, married believer, should be to look at that person next to you, the one God blessed you with, and say, "What can I do to serve you today?" Besides, that's what God did for us, when He sent Jesus to die for us on the cross – and that was the ultimate act of service. And in Ephesians 5:25 God compares man's love for his wife as Christ's love for the church! Hello!

So I've said all this to say, single believer, instead of crying to God about where your mate is, make sure you are in a position where you are ready to receive your mate, and that you are fully aware of what it means to be married. A suggestion would be to talk to a happily married couple, preferably one that's been married for over five or ten years, and ask them to share with you some nuggets about how they keep their marriage strong. Don't expect them to tell you a whole lot, but hold on to what they are willing to share. And of course, seek God's Word ultimately as the final authority on the best way to please Him and your future mate, because God's Word contains the answer to everything.

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