Read an interesting article written two years ago about the passing of a dear Sister, who died of child birth.  On that site http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-491791/Jehovahs-Witness-mother-dies-refusing-blood-transfusion-giving-birth-twins.html I posted a comment;

   The nature of faith affords the faithful peace of mind in all situations .  To question how and why a  young mother would seemingly surrender her life when an apparent cure all (or so it is claimed) was readily available may seem to be an act of suicide, but I am sure, had she more time to consider the implications of her choice, she'd make the same decision.  Faith in Jehovah affords the faithful ( those striving to follow his will) a peace rarely found in the savage world in which we live.  Though undoubtedly she loved her life, husband, children and family, her love for Jehovah and faith in his promises took priority.  You see, her future is assured, a question mark hangs above my head, and those of my kind who puts the daily grind ahead of loving kindness.  But of course the masses among you cringe at the mention of faith, and would swear we're of amoebas, tadpoles and baboons, but lo, add tragedy and a guarantee of death and quickly many call on God, if only to say; 'O my GOD.


  Interestingly, we'd go out of our way not to insult those precious to us, even if it meant ignoring the nay saying of those who dislike our dear ones.  But many continually and repeatedly berate the faithful for adhering to their faith and putting their dearest one, Jehovah, first.

  Some claim what she did was selfish. But, how is it selfish to put God first who controls the Resurrection and the life of all before all consideration?  Isn't that a pronounced act of selflessness? 

   Reading that article touched me, so much so, I'm inspired to find the love I had at first, and make my way once more on the path towards eternal life.  Imagine that, I the scummy one, seeking to do what is proper, I KNOW; SHENANIGANS UNTIL BAPTISM. 

  My new job which i'll start next week may have me working shifts, but with God's help, I hope to make it to my meetings and do more.

   Purposeful depression captures fast the lonesome, crushing ever further disastrous despair.  I remain steadfast in life regardless of the odds.  Death may come but it shan't be sought, of that much I'm incredibly sure.  DJ AM, a virtual nobody to me offed himself recently, tragic sad horrible.  Regardless of his personage or his demons (of which were many), this was a human who won't be this way again, terrible loss of life.  Times that by a million and several other humans offed themselves recently.  And yet we the survivors mourn their loss and ask ourselves why, but we're reminded of the gaping hole torn asunder by despair, darkness, murky depths and wanton bemoaning. 


  We're born and bred in despair and loss, especially as we approach an end; the final end of life or our own tragedies.  None the less, enjoy what you have, and embrace what isn't yours, eternal life on earth.

Before dawn breaks I get last feel,
Of the thing that makes her squeal,
Round Lippy soft and Such,
Little Rose Bud she loves me touch,
And so I do--- her little sigh,
Opens to moisture which once was dry,
My tongue to measure of how it go,
Lap the water well spring flow.


an old poem circa march '97

 What a difference six months make.  Not only does it humble you but it changes how you view yourself and others.  I thought I knew where I was; as it turns out, I just started learning, and By God And Fire, I will probably learn even more.


  I've posted some lame ass blogs, but you know what, that's okay, I wrote from my limited perception, of which; things have changed drastically since.


  Beside the fact that I've lost my Job, which caused me to be physically ill even though the  conditions of how I lost it makes me incredibly angry, but I digress.  Even though I've been betrayed by people I not only trusted, but I would have went out of my way to protect, even if It cost me my life.  But that's how life is, you learn that people are fucked up and the strength of my character comes from loving people even though they'll eventually betray you, but as usual I fucking digress.


  Maybe I shouldn't use language because in a future time I'll probably be a dedicated servant of God and embarrassed by my formal use of vulgarity, but at the moment, I could give a crap.  And in no way is my not giving a damn a reflection of my respect for God, but rather a reflection on my probable future reaction to anything I do:

  I was born deaf dumb and blind, and as time would have it, gradually senses of things came into existence, though continually, various senses phase in and out, so if I stumble along the way, too bad, because this is the fucking hand I was dealt by randomness which began with Adam and Eve and ended with me being born into a world which will try to not only kill me; but seeks my damnation at ever turn, even if that damnation is eternal guile (or eternal as a life of torment in this system can be) followed by eventual Gehenna for all of us who reject truth for the lie.


  Kevin Anderson wrote a masterful series called Saga of the SEVEN SUNS, a brilliant series and I'm reading the final book now, though I almost couldn't buy a copy of it, seeing as how i'm surviving off of 134dollars a week; an unemployment benefit.  But that's okay, Kelly's did their thing, and I got fucked, that's life.  I've leaned my lesson, but it only means the next group i work for will be seen differently from day one, and i'll trust not a soul and continually look for the angle of betrayal of which they'll no doubt want to make against me.  But fuck that, I was talking about K J Anderson's master piece, the final book ashes of world enables me to walk into another realm, if only for a time, so to keep my head in the game of life; I read a page or two a day, to extend the life of the final book, hoping it keeps my feelings of the fantastic and awesome always in view.


  My bible helps me a lot, but lately, it condemns me more than helps, but I think condemnation is sometimes better than praise; condemnation reminds me of my duty, which I always avoid due to wickedness on my part.


  It's hard to attend the meetings because of the call which I routinely hear but always pretend isn't pressing on my mind.  But i will attend, I only hope I can take it seriously before the end of my life or the end of this system.  Who believes in a creator or not, doesn't really matter because as Kelly's Home Centre showed me, putting the will of others before yourself will leave you broke damaged and clinging to a financial shadow of what you were used to.  So who feels what about creation means nothing to me; well it does but I can't worry about that now.


  So though i don't attend as i should, I'm going to start writing letters, it won't have a return address but will simply high light scriptures which could enable some one to look at themselves and their lives differently.  Hopefully, the pointed scriptures will point a few in the right direction, and they'll take advantage of truth which I seem to be too foolish to appreciate. 

  I find it funny that people ask me how I feel about michael jackson killing himself?

  And I find myself saying, "Who?"

 

Gays and Lesbians, where do I begin, The HETEROSEXUAL wall has existed from the beginning of Time.  After a fashion, or a seemingly endless passage of time the strange minority got tired of that feeling inside that kept telling them they’re messed up and decided to force all things and everyone associated with these things to accept them.  Hoping that acceptance will deal with that pang of conscience which condemns them.

 

Thankfully for them, modern man is quickly falling into a pit of vomit, wading through this smelly putrid mess; they find it difficult to properly identify right and wrong.

 

Modern man has fallen so far from their humble, proper origin, that any relation they had to the first couple or even post rebellion couple, is man’s endless search to be more independent.  Homosexuality isn’t normal, it’ll never be normal.  It is an abomination of spirit, flesh and conscience.  That feeling you have homosexual people is your conscience, something placed in you from your beginning.  Though you can ignore it and in some cases live happily without allowing said conscience to properly correct you, others on this planet allows theirs to correct them when they do wrong, since you’re depending the treatment you receive gay folks on the sense of right in wrong in others.

 

Right and Wrong; what a wonderful addendum to common decency, Something isn’t appreciated because He unjustly (or so the homosexual revolutionaries and their supporters say) favors one group of people over another.  Let’s call this Something Marriage.   Barring the previous interpretation of Marriage, monogamy and its many requirements, Let us closely observe the Victorian Interpretation and what it means for us today.

 

Since biblical requirements is a never you mind for most people therefore we’ll have to follow the moral interpretation of Sexuality and its proclivities. 

 

Apparently Victorian Morality means shit, you read correctly true believers, it means SHIT!  Why does it mean SHIT?  Well let us address a few things.  It takes a man and a woman to procreate, Modern society come about due to this law, Marriage made this law natural and binding, thus ensuring the chances of a decent group of people to propagate these terms and ensure the moral proclivities we rely on today.

 

So by Shitting on all of that, the foundation of which homosexuals regularly appeals to, is in trouble.  Homosexuality was not only considered a disgusting practice it was frowned upon.  Of course homosexuals still existed, but the moral proper order was to shun this or that to maintain the decency which ultimately keeps us civil regardless.  Now the foundation is about to collapse.  Why should I morally obey anything, if the morals which considered homosexuality wrong now abide by it, the moral nexus of which we rely on, is now a runaway fruity with the possibilities being endless for mitigation or outright disparaging, why should we follow anything other than our own interpretation?  

 

 

  I've avoided blogging to avoid unnecessary brain farts that has been the norm for a few years now.  Though poignant and purposeful (if only for that particular time it was written) my post was unavoidable, much like a natural passage of gas through the gastric intestinal track.  The representation should speak volumes; some of my blogs were light and barely recognized while others were blatant loud and incredulous.  From now own all my post will have BF as its subject.  So says Expletive Coremae Big Man Politricks---

  My moral footprint if anything like my carbon footprint would bode ill tidings to all it has assaulted, which is not me bragging but having a real ho hum moment.

  To see about my moral fiber or lack there of, one need look no further than the several blogs I have posted over some time now.  Though most of it is forgettable, they should provide a peek of a sort into the uncertainty unsolvable  and always precocious mentality(I'm almost 32 yrs young, which is nothing compared to the maturity time Christ would have had with Jehovah for countless eons), or occasional brain farts which passes as staged moments of lucidity.  Thus, after rambling and feeling satisfied I post my reckless decorum then continue on my blase existence not having fulfilled one decided upon mandate which I so hurriedly posted on this site.    Introspective, no?

  Morality aside, I've failed Jehovah bitterly.  And that should hopefully satisfy the masses of my level of failure except it doesn't explain it fully:  It would be more accurate to say that I've befuddled the simplest forms of praise Jehovah afforded to humanity, without even trying to do so.  Which means that if I perished today (And trust me friends, it would not be far off to suggest this after coming from a long week of dealing with the worst form of sinus blockage I've ever had in my life.  After five days my sinuses is finally draining out lots of blood and other in describable gook, and now my throat is swollen to the point that for the longest as I slept this morning I had trouble breathing, but as bad as that was, I'm just happy the sinusitis is draining since the blockage had me in so much pain that if I merged six tooth aches and a head ache with a healthy dose of a bullet to the mouth, I'd perhaps be in the vicinity of the intense pain I felt.  So bad it was that my bad back [Yes i'm off from work again, bulging disc in my spine again.  YAY!!! Fun times!] was the least of my worries and in more than 48 hrs I've had about twelve hours sleep tops, which was broken since every pain killer known I took and still, couldn't sleep. Sore swollen throat aside and bad back, I'm alive, for now)

Jehovah would have probably forget me in extinction.  He's well within his rights, since as our creator he does as he wills, and yet his will for us is not burdensome, unless you're me then it's apparently mount everest.  But rest assured it isn't and I'm not all that bright for mentioning anything contrary especially since the moral compass of this world isn't pointed south it began there from the begining and is now sliding towards apathos. 

  Among all the strange idioms of flesh in this system of things, nothing derails my thinking quicker and more vivdedly than the need for homosexuals to be accepted by everyone else.  I thought it had something to do with Satan and a personal vendetta he's had with Jehovah's institution marriage since day one but now I've realized the new and bold truth:  Don't blame the babies for playing in the filthy water.  Clean the water and be rid of all the harmful parasites and diseases that threatens to destroy their lividity.  Help them to become clean with a bit of compassion and patience.  Don't smash them for wanting to play in the filth and mocking us for not wanting to join in.  They're children, they don't know any better.  And after wards if they want to continue even though we would have adequately warned them and they're horribly screwed due to the evil brackish mire, then lovingly tend to their sicknesses and help them to see how silly it was to play in such an enviorment, kill the practice of playing in filth, not the patient, save the patient.


  And that is my moral quid pro quo of  today, If i'm alive I'll post if not, then seek Jehovah.

  Barack or McCain?  Who cares, whom ever wins won't change the fact that I'm a foreigner and whenever I enter the United States, I'm only allowed to be there for a time before Immigration says to GTFO, no I'm not being rude just stating a fact.  Immigration here would do the same thing continually/religiously to various immigrants though always especially to those of Haitian Nationality, which is a testament to a hidden trove of irony since, we complain of how the U.S of A treat us when we over stay our time, or seek jobs on their fair shores.  Land of opportunity indeed.  On a much lighter note, I'm going to work tommorow life last, hopefully it won't and I wouldn't have to go.

For a long time now I've realized that I'm one of those people who don't respect his place in life, of this I'm sure a great number of us remain snooty and audacious. This far and no further has been the call of order since a knock kneed pigeon toed boy sought to find his full measure, though denied the full he settled for specks of dust, but only because his choices were based on shackles and a yoke far heavier than Gibraltar. To settle for less is another way of saying: 'Though defeated I continued living though I witnessed the Bane pissing in my cereal--- I consumed it all with gusto.' Of course you did you moron, what choice had you? It was either taste the rank or go hungry, and nobody wants to go hungry. I'm reaching to achieve a better stance for myself and my family--- I remain confident failure is imminent for my place has been set in stone; It's a bitter sweet symphony.... you're a slave to money then you die. Though I'm not a slave to anything other than sin(which I long to be free of), I'm dying soon enough. Poetry crafted by me now: [ The Wrath ]((((((((((( With chattering teeth I ate my bread, Whilst the devil made me dread, 'Cause his axe above my head, Sought my soul for it is dead, Now before I go to wake, I claim of life a sour grape, Bunch it nice and on it press, Its blood runs red and me to death.)))))))