She slumped lower in the bathtub, having dropped the razor off the side, her red arm followed sluggishly ... Music played sweetly in the other room and she sang softly as she drifted to sleep, "It hurts... it hurts..."

I think this is what I said yesterday...

"Hi. Thank you, everyone, for coming. On behalf of my mom's Aunt Clara, she sends her love. She loved my mom like her own. She has the same kind of warmth that my mom has... On behalf of our sister, Catherine, I just want to say that she's not with us right now. You know, my brother and I went 15 years passed before we reconnected with our mom, and she simply took us back, without hesitation... If and when she comes around, we will take her back like Mom took us back...

"27 years ago, my mom and I nearly died together. She lost so much blood during the C-section to get me out... and I had the ambilical cord around my neck, cutting off the oxygen to my brain... which would really explain a LOT...
She used to call me her 'soulful baby' because of what we went through together, and I can't help but think of myself as 'the kid that nearly killed her'... I can be morbid, but I wouldn't have said that if she wouldn't have laughed at that...

"20 years ago, I made a decision to not be with her. A lot of stupid things happened in the next 15 years that no longer matter, because...

"5 years ago, or 4, Ed and I reconnected with her, shortly after he and I had... and these last 5 years have been the best. As it turns out, ONE conversation made is seem like those 15 years didn't really... well, not HAPPEN... but they didn't matter as much. And every night after that, she and I would talk for 5 hours a night...

"She turned out to be the only person to ever really understand me; without question... without even saying anything... quite a few of my friends had to leave, and not everyone really got to meet her... but I'd like to think that whatever warmth and kindness I have in me, was because OF her... maybe that way they've met her...

"She didn't have a remarkable life, but she was an extraordinary person...

"...and I wouldn't do this for anyone BUT her... When we reconnected, I gave her several writings of mine, and these are some of my words that she thought were pretty...


"You have always kept your finger to your lips,
Guarding the words, just as a sentry,
... the words you want to say...
And you spend your days, thinking
That the paper could never contain
... the words you want to say...
But I know, even though the son, I know
... the words you want to say...

No stone lies in the belly of a dove,
No burden makes my heart its home...

And love is a song,
that I have heard you singing...

So, secret your heart,
Aged and frail..."

Legal Beagle! Legal Beagle!

He's a lawyer! He's a dog!
He hates the mailman, but he loves the law!

Legal Beagle! Legal Beagle!

He never gives up when he's on the case,
but throw him a bone and he's on the chase!

Legal Beagle! Legal Beagle!
Legal Beagle! Legal Beagle!

*Okay, so it's not like the 90's X-Men cartoon or The Simpsons ((Oh, wait, those are just instrumentation...still awesome, though...))