Hi kiddos...

I'm feeling the grace right now... Despite how the economy is going... and the economy is in total shambles..

I thank God, for every day I have on this ball of rock and water, and for all of you.

A lot of people call me goofy, over-happy, think something's wrong with me..... It's all because of all of you.

I've been through hell, and I LIVED through it.

 Just ask me about my dreams.

Friends like all of you reading this blog keep me happy. I know there's good out there. You are all my friends because I see the good in YOU.

 Wether you see it or not.

Some of you I should be closer to, because you will make me a better person. I can learn a lot from all of you.

Some of you I love for your natural beauty. Inside and out, as people, and what I know the world would be like if you ran it.

People like Jason Stalworth..... April..... Michele... Michelle Dempsey.... I don't want anyone to feel left out, because anyone who knows me knows my friends are great people, and I do thank God for every one of my friends. 

Every single one of you.

You are all turkeys and I will eat you up this thanksgiving.

Thank you all for touching my life.

So when you read that cheap survey that asks if you think someone is thinking about you...

yes I am.

Call me sometime. I would be excited to hear from any one of you. Family or not.

Plus I need the contact.... lol.

In the spirit of the holiday comming up... thank you...

all of you....

for being a part of my life....

there is no small part.

You are all incredible people, regardless of whatever past we might have together. I see past that, and I know good people when I see them. 

Thank you for being my friends!!

And freaking call me sometime dammit!!

813-846-6064.... no excuses anymore?

O.K.?

Howdy kids... another day in paradise!

Today I got to work in the ghetto...

can you say ghetto????

GET-TOE

Good, I knew you could.

So I gave out every remote control (or 'mote" as they call them) on my truck. A couple coax lines, a splitter, and had 3 people ask me to do thier install that was due later in the week, got hit up for a cigarette, a quarter and a channel line-up, all by the same guy. Here goes that story....

So I'm minding my own business and I hear

"Hey wonduh braid"

(That means hey white boy)

I figured he meant me, so I walked over to him, and he quietly asked me for a cigarette. So I gave him one, lent him my lighter to light it, he thanked me and walked away.

About 30 min later, he walks up and asks me for a quarter so he can go buy himself a blunt. So I gave him a quarter and went on about my work.

He comes walking up to me a little later and tells me I need to go "Check my ho" at the corner store because she refused to sell him a blunt.

Like I have something to do with that??

I told him I can't make her sell him anything but I can give him a new 'mote.

So he got a new 'mote.

I drove down to a McDonalds to get lunch, went in and got it then came back out to my truck, and in that time, someone had stolen some of the panduit on my truck. I know because it's my truck. There was a stick of panduit hanging almost all the way out of the tube on my roof. Another tech drove by me and saw it and told me about it before I drove off with it hanging out of the tube.

So my customer also had about a 6 week old pit bull puppy who loved me to death. The puppy's name was "Trina"

I thought that was kinda funny.

Then I went to a doctor's house to replace a router. He had some creepy pictures in his house.

I mean CREEPY

It was like a real picture of his face on a canvas and someone drew the body on it with chalk....

there were seperate pictures for the whole family.

The boys' faces were superimposed on what looked like little angel bodies.

It was kinda scary.

So next weekend Melissa and I are celebrating our birthday together. You're all invited. We're going to Melissa and Kristian's for pre-game drinks around 7, and then to howl at the moon to start the drunken stupor. I plan on over-celebrating and having a great time. You're all awesome and I would love to have all of you show up and watch me get lit, or join in. I think the plan is to taxi there and back. Maybe get a party bus or something. Depends on how many people actually show up.

Well kids, I'm gonna get goin and relax a little bit.

Lemme know if you wanna go!!

Holla!!!!

O.K kids... time for a huge party!!!

Melissa and I are celebrating our birthday!!

October 25th starting at 7pm with some pre-game

and then off to

for some

til we do some

or whenever....

Gimme a call if you want to go!!!

813-846-6064

So.... Here I am with time to kill at work. There's a beautiful thunderstorm raging outside my van and this is my first day at work since I hurt my back on june 11th. Strangely enough, last year, on june 11th, I got bit by a spider. 1 year to the day and I'm out of work again. Staying home isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I learned a few things while I was on my convalescent leave of absence.

I learned that my puppy hates the yard mexicans. She barks and growls and watches them intently. It's so cute!!! 10 lbs of "I'm gonna bite your achilles tendon in half."

I learned that I'm not a spring chicken anymore, and need to slow down a little. Hurting my back was a little scary. Luckily it was just a muscular strain, and nothing operable or disabling.

I learned that I gain weight quickly when I go couch potatoe.

I learned that it's possible to sleep all day, like dogs do. Sometimes you can even sleep with the dogs. Or on them. Whatever.

Since I missed signing the schedule bid, I got stuck on the late shift. 6 days a week, scheduled, and I work til 8pm every night. This weekend is also my weekend to work a Sunday. lucky me. That means I get to work straight through until next Saturday without a day off.

Overtime rocks. I can hardly wait to get these paychecks rolling in.   

Well kids, I'm gonna get going and check e-mail or knit a sweater or something. I'm just hanging out til the rain stops.

Later!!

Sup peeps.

So I spent today getting butt-raped by the sun.

No lube...

No kiss on the neck....

WHAM!!! farmer's tan.

I worked hard for the last month on a nice base tan, just to have it screwed up in one day.

Wanna see my farmer's tan??? Anyone?? Anyone??

Ist der ein problem mit mein farmer's tan offitzer?

O.K. .... Who wants a moustache ride???

Damn I'm funny.

So I start today in the ghetto.

 Bill collector dodging fool has to reschedule his install.

I knock on the door, no answer... call him up, he answers, I identify myself, he says hold on I can't hear you and hangs up.

I call back, 3 rings, straight to voicemail....

voicemail is full.  

For anyone not familiar with cell phones, he did that on purpose.

I knock on the door again.... this time, the blinds in the front are closed..... I KNOW someone's home.

I knock LOUD!!!

Apparently that was for my own amusement.

No answer.

I call again, 2 rings to voicemail... fukker was waiting for me to call again.

Luv ya mean it buhbye.

I hope that confederate flag stays up on I-4.

Next ticket is a puppy chow.

 Yup.

Dog ate a fiber drop.

Next ticket is fiber cable damage on HWY 92.

yee frikken haw.

Hello farmer's tan.

So if you ever hit our cable, and you see us starting to swarm all over the area... here's what you do.....

1. Don't call us for a FREE cable locate.

2. yank the shit out of a fiber cable... you have to get it good. REAL good. Kink it so the entire cable gets pinched.

3.   When you see our vans starting to swarm around... bury it again... QUICK!!!!!

4. When I walk past your stupid mexican ass 500 times with a measuring wheel... keep your mouth shut. Don't tell me you hit the cable with a backhoe. We'll find it eventually. (and we did)

5. Move 500 feet away and chop a copper cable in half. (lead-sheath paper insulated is the best).

6. Cry when you get fired because we charge your company for ALL of the man hours for EACH tech (at the company rate, not my pay rate) to isolate and repair the cable, materials, and service reimbursements to our customers who are affected.

That job took 6 hours on my time sheet. I don't know about the other 6 techs and construction crews. And instead of repairing the damage on that section and letting it go... the construction supervisor said... it's 300 feet of cable... let's place a new section and splice it in tonight.

Now you pay overtime rate.

All of your backhoe are belong to me.

So I pick up another repair ticket.

Mr. Mailman decides 2 things.

1. I want tio drive my POS mail truck through sugar sand instead of getting my doughnut eating, flabby, fat, lazy ass out of my jeep to walk 4 FAWKIN FEET to the mailbox.

2. This black wire stuck around my front wheel should pull me out of this sugar sand kinda like a winch.... OOPS.... Damn. The cable broke.

I got to sit and wait for a splicer to fix it.

In the sun.

The shade was all on the other side of the street.

I think maximum sunlight exposure is a requirement for every aspect of our engineering and my job..

I need to drink water.

Lord, please let tomorrow be better.

On a good note I'm sweatting off some water weight.

My pee is brown.

Is that bad?

O.K.

I need to go to bed.

So I can be well rested when I go back to work tomorrow and get beaten about the head and neck with sunlight. 

This was all for your amusement, and I hope I could help with that.

I love you all.

call me sometime, instead of living vicariously through my blogs.

how lame of you is that?

 I DO have a cell phone.

Call it sometime.

 813-846-6064

Hello kiddies!!! 2 blogs in 1 week... what's up with that?

I'll tell you. 

No T.V. service and a clean house makes me VERY bored.

I need a hobby...

Who's it gonna be?

I added a few new songs on my playlist. Mostly hard stuff that gets me pumped up but I had to keep it real and add a funny one in there (Dewey Cox). I spit beer out of my nose when I heard that song for the first time.

So I've been working a lot of weekends. Saturdays mostly. For a company on 50% coverage on saturdays I sure do work a lot of them.

I've been trying to work on my skin cancer on my off time, and it's going well.  Grill n chills at the pool are fun. I haven't had the opportunity to catch my entire body on fire and streak into the pool yet, but I'm sure I'll get my "Frank the Tank" moment in due time.

So I was chilling at Cherry's last Friday after my softball game (we won 12-2). We all had on our Softball shirts promoting the bar, hanging out drinking and being total idiots....

like we do....

When up walks an obviously homeless woman.

We could smell her before she got there. 

Booze.

She staggers up to us, her bottom lip starts quivvering almost immediately in a rehearsed pout, she sniffles a little then says "excuse me-" 

My friend Kevin cut her off and said " We don't have any cash" She made a noise that sounded like "pb-pb-pb-goo" then staggered away.

I've seen her at that shopping plaza just about every day for the last 6 or 7 months. Every time I see her, someone's giving her money.

 I've also seen her behind the plaza smoking crack.

I feel for her- for the addiction- but I'm not gonna feed it. I don't carry a number for a rehab clinic in my wallet. I should really start. 

That might sound cold, but in my line of work I see the same people over and over, some of them running the gas or broke-down car scam, some holding signs, and some just try to pick the suckers out of the crowd and pitch a sob story.

 I see it every day.

1 out of 500 might legitimately be trying to get back on thier feet, take care of someone... a family or themselves.

Most are trying to get a fix, be it alcohol or drugs. I will give change when I can, maybe a dollar or two-

if I don't recognize the person.

I know that with the economy the way it is, I could be camping next to them someday.

I should start a theme park for homeless people... pay them in crack and quarts. Charge 10.00 a head to have a survival weekend in a REAL homeless camp!! It could even be a reality show with one of those night vision cameras inside every box... I could charge a subscription to a website with a live feed and you can pick a box to watch... give out prizes for shankings, thefts and drug-induced fits of rage. I bet Vegas could even give each family odds of an incident-free weekend.

O.K. I was KIDDING!!

I made all of that up.

Except the part I typed.

So tonight I'm chilling with Monkey. She found her barky-voice sometime this weekend and has started using it as often as possible.

She's a Brussels Griffon.

I looked up her breed on the AKC website and it said they make great watchdogs... I think she was reading over my shoulder. She started getting more vocal almost the next day.

It's a yappy bark.

And loud.

I can't poop in peace anymore.

Her new game is "Wake daddy up 45 minutes before his alarm goes off"

Coffee is my friend.

She's lucky she's so cute.

That little bitch.

She spends most of her time trying to get as close to me as possible. Right now she's eating. She grabs mouthfulls of food, walks under my chair, dumps the food and eats it. Cap'n Crunch doesn't have anything on her. She could do a grape nuts commercial.

When she chews, she looks up at me. Either loving the food or being obnoxious. I can't tell.

Her butt's getting bigger.

She knows how to "Sit" now... almost every single time without hesitation.

Only on the couch.

I guess it doesn't apply anywhere else.

The couch must be her stage.

Well kids, time for Monkey to poop. She hasn't done it yet today, and if she doesn't do it now she's not sleeping in my bed!

That goes for you, too.

Call me sometime instead of being voyeurs. I can tell you the same stories.

813-846-6064