LOVE
By LOVE
Today, I felt a great energy of cosmosis, a minutiae of the Great Divine, black and white side by side as a great Marble Chess Board, a metaphor? A Dream?
A Divination?
A Mystery?
A Salvation.
A Rememberance?
An act of revenge?
A Vindication?
A Loss?
A Negative?
Or...
A Joy?
A Win?
A Positive?
A dance with a stranger in a park underneath a full moon?
A Flower smelt with a new intoxication of candor and ecstasy?
A feeling or intuition gone righteous?
A random act of compassion?
A cure for a dying loved one?
The Answer to Eternal Bliss?????
All questions asked of Love, along with other questions like...Will you feed me?
Will you clothe me?
Will you be there at my darkest moment, holding me?
Or, Love in God's Eye...
Yes, will you accept I am walking with you in every moment of your life?
Yes, do you accept You and I are One, in All matters of your Heart?
Yes, will you no longer feel shame in my presence?
Yes, will you understand life comes in Keys, each a melodiaous note of ME.
Yes, will you go with me each night to traverse my grand creations that light the Elliptic.
Yes, will you trust me to bring you the other side of Yourself, Your Truest Mate
Yes, will you keep my mandates and promise to love you and others with respect and mutual joy
Yes, will you share your wealth, knowing I am multiplying your harvest
Yes, will you cherish life and at the end...will you share your experience and enlighten even Me of your gratitude for the lesson evenWill you take my Hand, and Dance the Dance of Life of Itself. Will you pick the best fruit for Self to enjoy this Great Tree of Life I have created for Thee?When I think of love I think of it in terms of conversations with God. Intimate, sweet conversations. So much of our lives are consumed with love. But like the many kinds of love, we learn too many times we "love" that which does not "love" us in return. Remember the first time you felt "love"?
I do. I was nine years old, his name was Tim, and he was three years older than me. I was so devoted to him and just his presence made my heart beat a little faster each time he came around. I was young. Then I grew up to be 18, and Tim was now in college but worked in the neighborhood during the Summer.
Summer in Tulsa was hot, but living in the country it was nice to be able to enjoy the shade of a tall tree, a great book, and big class of hand squeezed lemonade. This was how I enjoyed myself, loved myself, immersed in nature, edifying my soul with literary delights. Then I felt the sting of Cupid's arrow. Tim worked with plants and such, so every time Mom went to get plants for the garden, I'd see him. I remember his brown skin, earthy good looks, tall slim body, and angular frame. His eyes had flecks of hazel in them. I know, because in my reading and studies, I studied "eyes" and all about their different shapes...there I go...anyhow...Tim always smelt like cool freshly tilled Earth, and spice.
I was hooked. I remember going to the plant shop with Mom's bestfriend, Sis. Caddy. Sis Caddy was this how do we say original character. She was a border line lesbo trapped under the constraints of her religious dogma and that too little girdle strapped across her wide ass, strangling her fatty thighs for a merciful release. Anyway, Sis Caddy had sworn herself as my personal chastity belt in Mom's place, as I had grown up and out quite nicely. Summertime had arrived and my curves had filled out in all the right places, something Mom was terrified of.
So, there we were me, Sis Caddy, and my little sister Kisha, the other chastity belt complete with sirens, whistles, and alarms as I called her big mouth. The girl couldn't hold water, let a lone a secret. I'm sitting in the car trying to avoid seeing him to keep the peace at home when.
"Hey, pretty girl why you in the car alone?"
I look up and it's too late, he's already at the door holding Mom's plants. I smile, ok, giggle a little, and without noticing it my body curved and pulled his direction.
Months later, graduation night. Me, Daddy, and Kisha are exiting the commencement ceremony. I hear my name, and keep walking in disbelief. Then I hear my name LOUDLY, and turn around. It's Tim, dressed in all white, smiling.
"I have something for you. I remembered your request. Follow me."
My Dad drags a snarling Kisha away like a pit bull on chains. I follow Tim to his car a 1987 Chevy Monte Carlo, white with red interior, he called her, "Christine". Something we shared, I named my car, too.
He opened the door.
Inside was a GIANT basket of every FLOWER with BALLOONS, STREAMERS in a delicate but most lovely arrangement. I was so touched without realizing it my body closed into his, and WE KISSED. It was so MAGICAL, I forgot to breathe, and I didn't care if I ever did.
Tim and I had discovered LOVE. All those years I'd loved him from a distance, and now here we were...under a romantic Full Moon, I was officially an adult, available, and our families all but Moma, approved.
It is now many Moons later, and I think of Tim, smile, happy not because I loved and LOST, but, because I loved and remember STILL, and I am grateful for the lesson I learned about how truly BEAUTIFUL, love can be in ITS many forms.
There are many kinds of love, but the ONE constant is LOVE BRINGS CHANGES, we should be thankful for this by keeping an OPEN mind and heart that though the heart wants what it wants, perhaps what it wants also WANTS it in return, and by the grace of GOD, TWO HEARTS SHALL BEAT AS ONE, ONCE AGAIN.
I don't want to be with Tim but I do want to feel the MAGIC and ELECTRICITY of an alchemical LOVE experience. Doesn't every one?