Is it the end to a beautiful begging?
For over a year and 3 months i have been besotted by this one person, the person who is no better known than as 'baby'
We have like every relationship been through our ups and downs. We have been through a lot. We have like humans made mistakes, but what you dont do is make the same mistake twice right?! so i thought! -
I am no angel i am not the innoncent party here as i havein the past made a BIG mistake in my life, i lied to my baby about someone being my cousin just so i could talk to them. It wasnt worth it one bit. The hurt i felt i caused just wouldnt be worth making the same mistake. I havnt!!!!
Not long after my mistake my baby started hidding behind my back about texting an ex. I dont understand why as to this day its not the that i have problem with the fact their texting its that its being hid! You dont hide something unless theres something to hide ...... well 1st chance when my baby did this, i have never seen so much hurt in my own eyes before, but to go and do it again?
All that goes around in my head is do it once then stupid you, twice? humm... stupid me for letting you back in?
I fight with my head everyday as my heart just wants to take over! Iv never had love like this before. I must not of ever had love until this relationship. I try to understand why the reasons would be to hide it but those excuses only work once. Like they say you lie, you WILL get found out!!!!
The first time this happend i said no more please, baby promised, baby gave word not to ever hurt me this way again....... baby nearly lost me the first time why would baby try to challange this and risk not having me?
Baby wonders why i dont feel often loved, cared for or simply just there for me...........you wonder why its hard to let someone in, keep them close........
I have chosen to write on here as im breaking, not ashamed either! im falling to pieces my heart cant be broken can it?!