Who does he think he is? All pretty boy Chris Koza singing smarty pants songs as if being smarter and cooler than my monkey gives him the right to be treated so nicely by everybody. My monkey is smoking a Kool 100. My monkey has a knife slung in the tiny bejewelled thong I let him borrow. My monkey doesn't like being one-up'd. My monkey might stick a blade in Chris Koza, even though I will do my best to stop my monkey from doing so. Problem with monkey? Monkey is UNstoppable. Like last night when I wanted to make a quiche and had no eggs. Monkey went grocery shopping even though it was close to midnight. Poor, poor Chris Koza!

I love to sit out on the roof, especially when it's raining. The warm sweet water drips from the sky and I just feel delicious, part of something really big... mother nature. Did you know we are all animals? It's true. I learned that yesterday in Wikipedia when I looked up "Human". It made me think. And when I think, I like to go sit outside in the rain on the roof without any clothes on.

October brings change. The leaves change. The days get shorter. The temperature gets cooler. Sometimes what looks like rain is actually sleet. Like yesterday. I went outside to sit naked in the rain, to consider my animality in the nude and when I sat on the roof, I found it to be quite icy and I slid on the wet and ice on my ass down the roof for perhaps twenty feet. If it weren't for my strong toes, I would have fallen over the side of the house. I managed to stop sliding by jamming my powerful toes in the gutter, which bent, but held.

I felt really lucky to be alive! And without injury! Except I am injured. I have painful shards of what I believe to be fiberglass in my ass. Isn't it hard to be an animal? It's hard to be good people.

I woke up to the sound of rain pattering gently upon our roof top. Sam Osterhout snores in the room across the hall. Sometimes his snoring makes me jealous, because I know he is asleep and I can't sleep. I haven't had a cigarette in 12 hours. There are garbage trucks -- two -- in the alley. They are undelivering the garbage. I hate these trucks. They are making a lot of noise and I wish the rain would fall really hard and wash these trucks into the river. I'd like them to float away or sink. I'd go to the river with one of those flotation hot dogs they used on Bay Watch. I'd run shirtless and slick with the falling rain and really tan and hairless to the river bank and I'd taunt the drivers with my hot dog ability to save them and my decision not to save them and then I'd think about the possibility that those drivers could be the owners of some cigarettes and that maybe they'd bum one to me. Then I would save those drivers with my flotation hot dog. I'd toss my hot dog and bun those drivers to safety. And then me and those drivers would share a cigarette or two on the bank and talk about the weather. Still Sam Osterhout snores.