Somebody asked me the stupidest question a while back.

It involved whether I’d sacrifice my pet in exchange for someone I loved or held dear to me. Now, let’s think about that logically, why would I ever be put in such a situation?

Well, perhaps if I gained powers, become evil overlord, and came face to face with some environmentalist arch-nemesis of mine calling himself PETA Pete...

When I responded, “Of course.” I was met with a smug, “I see. So you don’t love your pets.”

So, annoyed and sleepy, I responded with the straightest possible face I could maintain, “Actually, hell—if someone offered me a Klondike Bar in exchange for sacrificing my pet, I’d willingly comply. I sure do love chocolate and ice cream.”

She immediately met me with, “What the hell?!”

Grinning inwardly, I continued, “You know what would be even better? Starting up a cult and making your followers so dependent on you, they’d willingly carry out animal sacrifices and other atrocious acts. I’d follow the pattern of various Christians youth groups in holding bible study slash pizza parties—however, my approach would be even more clever then the lure of tasty cheese and sauces. The trick is, you’d lure them in with blueberry muffins, a tasty baked good no mortal can resist… Once they carry out more and more devious acts for you, you’d reward them with even tastier treats until they reach the point of complete and utter willingness and loyalty. Only then would you reward them with a Klondike Bar. Then one fine day, after they’ve sacrificed their children and pets, you’d get on the podium, tap the microphone and say, “Hey guys, how’re you doing? About this religion-cult nonsense, just kidding! I’m actually a spokesperson from the Klondike Ice Cream Company, and I’m here to say…people really will do anything for a Klondike Bar! Thanks for making our ice cream treat that much more marketable, you guys. These new commercials will be great!”

There’s nothing I enjoy more than toying with people’s minds—it’s one of those little pleasures in life that gives me giggles and a crazed grin, and what could be better than that?

(Sorry if you're on my LJ and have read this before. It's an old entry, but I feel it has just the right feel to help open up this little space.)