This morning I learned Darlene, my 33-year-old friend in Washington state, has tragically died. She is currently in my number one friends slot.

While flying home from a vacation in San Diego, Darlene passed out in her seat with 30 minutes remaining in the flight. Her breathing had stopped. CPR was done on her for the last 15 minutes of the flight. Emergency care was at the scene on the ground and she was sent to a Seattle hospital, where her friends and family hoped for a miracle. It was not meant to be. Darlene had no known medical conditions before this incident occured. (This is the best description I can give based on her boyfriend's explanation.)

I first met Darlene via eHarmony when we were matched in May 2006. She was always a very bubbly and talkative girl, and her first e-mails to me in "open communication" reflected that. Within short time, Darlene and I concluded we were not very compatible in the romance area, but we maintained a platonic friendship nonetheless. She always showed an interest in my life - encouraging me with whatever latest life happenings were going on at the time. I think I may have been a source of inspriation for her, because she may have met her match in meeting someone as crazy as her. I recall we would talk sometimes when she had extra time while driving to and from Seattle. Because of physical distance, I never met her in person, but even when we would go long periods of no phone conversations, I could always count engaging in some banter with her now and then in our myspace comment sections.

Darlene was quite a blessing in my life, a great encourager, someone who undoubtedly had a deep love for God. I was impressed with her commitment to reach out and work with the teenagers in her church. She well understood this was the most important time in their lives where they are beginning to form and cement their views on who God is, their dreams and goals, morality, lifestyle matters and what they really believe about life and the world. etc. No doubt, these things greatly affect one's most crucial life decisions.

I actually learned of the news through Darlene's boyfriend in an e-mail. I was honored to hear that she had mentioned my name now and then to him. (You know, I'm the crazy guy who biked across America and does all sorts of crazy things on his Colorado Guy web site. Maybe something like that.) In early 2008, Darlene wrote me saying something like, "I know we've always been just friends and all, but I thought I should tell you I met this amazing guy named CJ." She also added she was pretty sure she was going to marry him (as an intuitive & spiritual thing), but it was too early to get over-excited. Of course, I was so stinkin' happy for her.

Around that time she began dating CJ, her myspace profile photos changed. She was constantly posting photos of herself smiling and looking really happy. Darlene was generally a positive person with a very goofy streak since I knew her, but her countenance really seemed to *brighten* when she began dating him. I could tell simply from her photos.

This is a very sad day. Darlene, I am pleased to say, walked closely with the Lord and knew Him well. I know she is in a better place. Dar, I am going to miss you! :(

Here's a photo with CJ and Darlene. I think it's a fun one that reflects the joy she and her man felt in the moment. :)



Thank you for reading.

-Steve

You can read more and see more pictures hereif you like:

http://www.cottonwoodpass.net/july-30-2008/colorado.htm

Here is a picture of me standing in a large patch of snow. The snow has been melting rapidly as it has been in the 60's and 70's almost everyday in June and July. Sometimes we've even reached the 80's!



The sunset was nice as always.



-Steve

Update On Dad

Dad started his chemo and radiation yesterday. It is confusing and difficult for me to describe, but the process includes him briefly visiting the hospital each day for approximately 5-10 minutes. Throughout this proces, he has something strapped around his waste with some kind of pouch. (The cancer is in his pancreas area.) My Dad is not much of a complainer, but it is a little inconvenient and cumbersome, and he will need to sleep on his back with this contraption. Physically, he feels fine right now, and has felt decent since the "splint" was done that made his pancreas work better. (See previous blog; Not sure if I gave more details about that.)

I will be flying to New Jersey on August 4 and will be there until early September. I will be staying in my younger brother's childhood bedroom and look forward to supporting my Dad anyway I can - assisting him if he's all jacked up from the chemo and radiation, spending time with him or maybe going out to eat now and then. (Dad always pays. Yay!)

As for me, I will continue to work with my telephone counseling and book writing. I am indeed very blessed to have such a mobile lifestyle. Regarding my Internet stuff, I will continue to update my web sites with pages related to the area. I will probably visit the New Jersey Shore (adjacent photo) frequently, and maybe I'll make a few visits to New York City (just 20 miles away) as well. You might be acquainted with my Mt. Princeton web site, where I snap a photo of the mountain on a regular and sometimes daily basis. In New Jersey, where there are literally hundreds of wonderful Dunkin' Donuts shops all over, I will probably visit a Dunkin' Donuts everyday. You probably don't know this, but I am the webmaster of www.DunkinDonutsFans.com and can't wait to pack it with great pictures, stories and reviews of coffees and donuts. It's going to be a great site!

Update on Book Writing

If you want to experience discouragement and despair, try writing a book as a literary novice. Oh dear, book writing can be really hard and requires so much discipline. My largest battle is overcoming the "screaming voice" in my head that my writing efforts are futile and to start writing anyway. Those nagging thoughts often continue well into the evening and night even after a decent day of writing.

I don't have a lot of support either. It would be so nice to be part of a writer's group - just any kind of group of people who are in the same boat as I am. Support is so critical, and I do not have enough of it right now.

A few lessons I've learned about book writing ....

1) Be Myself - I need to be nobody but myself. My reader needs to hear my voice coming out of the pages. I recently began reading books
from authors I really admire, and found myself trying to adopt their style. So-and-so has this writing style and it's good ... maybe you should write like that!

There is one author, whom I won't mention here, that I have corresponded with over the past few weeks now and then. This guy is my hero! I was so honored to get a reply to my e-mail and I told him all about how I loved his books! He is not very famous, but he does have a wikipedia page about himself and has written five fantastic books. (He was very impressed and intrigued with my bike trip.)

There was just one problem. In our communication and my reading another of his fantastic books, I realized I was living in this author's shadow. Oh if only you could be as good as him in your writing! It messed with my head. I needed my book to be MY creation. It is MY story. I am the author and my book must be MY unique style. Long story made short, I lost the latest book I was reading of this author. It was very odd and strange how I lost it, and I am convinced this was a "God thing." I needed to stop reading that book for my own sanity and writing development. :)

Photo Above: A good shot of me being myself. I was telling the Story of the Golden Goats Milk!

2) Write Everyday - I have done my best to commit to four horus of writing everyday for at least five days per week. What has helped is for me to go to a coffee shop or somewhere in the public ... and force myself to sit there for a minimum of four hours. Writing at home can happen well, but I am much more easily distracted at home.

3) Share more of myself - My readers need to see, smell, touch and experience my life in the story. They need to know me well - what I look like, what my personality is like, what my strengths and weaknesses are, my counseling background and how that affects my views, my photography and influence on the Internet, some of my web sites, my sense of humor, etc. The more they know me, the more engaged they will be with my story. Doing all of this is hard work. It is unquestionably out of my comfort zone, but I am holding up well.

I have no idea if I will actually pull off writing a book about my bike trip, but it is  consuming me. Writing a book has become a significant life goal, and I have other books that I desire to write. I can't stop thinking about it. My dreams at night are filled with me writing, editing, organizing chapters and considering what stories to include in the book. Ironically, it is very similar to my constant dreaming of being on the bike when I was actually biking across the nation earlier this year! ;)

Thank you for reading all this!

-Steve

Here is a picture of snow at Independence Pass from this Saturday evening ...




I really should have snapped a picture of the snowman two children made while I was there. Oh well!

You can see all of my photos from the evening here: Independence Pass (July 12, 2008).

-Steve

I thought it was time for a personal update about my bike across America aftermath and what I am up to now: I am daring to believe that I can write a book and get it published. Since last week and for the remainder of July, I have dedicated four afternoon hours (usually 2 p.m. to 6 p.m.) each day to writing, editing and compiling a completed book. The goal is to have a finished transcript that I can hand to people by August 1, right before I leave for New Jersey. (See previous blog for details about why I'm heading east soon.)

Monday through Saturday for four hours equals 24 hours per week, and I determined to make my "best stab" at this book project. This will be my first book and I know the toughest part of many things is the first one! I need to get this out of the way, so I can learn more about book writing and do a better job with a second book. Yes, I have other book ideas that I am already thinking about, and one has to do with the 1964 Cadillac. ;)

I honestly do not know if my story has a strong enough "hook" or if my writing abilities are decent enough, but that is okay. This is what risk-taking is all about. No regrets! Many of my "45 days" pages were abridged versions, and I intend to go back and elaborate quite extensively on some of those experiences.

I am really looking forward to this new adventure - sort of an adventure that "bounces off" of the original trip. As you may have noticed, I written a page with photos for each of the 45 days out on the bike: 2008 Bike Trip Reports. I have also been diligent in covering other miscellaneous issues about the trip: About The Route, Planning The Trip, Thank You Page and What I Brought With Me.

This is where you come in. If you have specific questions or curiosities about the trip, you are welcome to ask them here. It might be another area that I could write about.

A few articles that are likely coming:

Why I went alone

More about motels and interesting motel stories

More about "what it was really like" - loneliness, tiredness, what I thought about for hours on the bike.

One more thing: It is never too early to think of a name for my book. I am open to suggestions. :)

And let me throw in a picture of me with my bike in Brownfield, Texas ...



This was on "Day 23" - http://bikeacrossamerica.org/trip-report/day23/brownfield-aspermont.htm

-Steve

Just a quick note ...

A week ago, I learned my Dad has cancer in the pancreas area. It is fairly serious. The doctors said if my Dad does nothing, they estimated he has about 3-6 months to live. They can not operate on him, because the tumor is inside his pancreas and has began to reach out into his blood vessels and arteries. (I may not use proper medical terms anywhere in this entry.)

Chemotherapy and radiation is an option and my Dad will start around July 14. The specialists in this area confidently asserted he has a decent chance his life will be lengthened, as long as he does all the right things (follows all recommendations, good diet, makes all of his chemo/radiation appointments, don't know all the specific details), which he certainly will do. My Dad is very responsible with following through on things and he already exercises and has an amazing diet. Currently, Dad feels fine, but only after they performed a "splint operation" in his pancreas to help his pancreas function better.

What does this mean for me? There is a good chance I will be spending a lot of time in the latter half of 2008 in New Jersey. I can even stay in my childhood bedroom ... Yay! :) Fortunately, I am blessed with a work situation where I am fairly mobile and can travel somewhat freely and work at the same time. I only have one Dad, and I want to spend some good quality time with him and help him with his therapies. I know, at least from hearing other people's experiences, chemo & radiation can really "jack a person up" in the short-term. New Jersey and New York friends ... shoot me a note if you want to meet up! I might go to one last Yankees game in the soon to be obsolete Yankee Stadium too.

Thank you for reading this. Here is a photo of my Dad, Mom and myself back in 2002 when they visited me in Manitou Springs, Colorado. I know ... I know ... What a nice Italian-looking family!



Just two requests:

1) You are obviously welcome to comment, share kind words and/or do or say something to encourage me. I am past the "shock phase" and all in all, am doing fairly well. Dad's health has brought my family together (parents and my two brothers) a little closer which is a blessing. There are other issues behind the scenes where I see some good happening among the bad.

2) Do NOT give lengthy advice. I am not asking for advice. There is nothing more annoying that someone running their mouth either in person, by phone or via the Internet, talking about some crazy new alternative therapy that is going to dramatically heal my Dad. "You should do this ..." or "I was in the same situation and this helped (and then force your information on me) ..." None of that crap.

Thank you for reading all this.

-Steve

I have been home for six weeks after bicycling across America along the southern tier of the country, and I have been slowly but consistently creating pages compiling photos, stories and experiences each day.

You can see my working list of bicycling days here: Bike Across America Trip Index.

Three People In Alabama

Bicycling through the states of Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia definitely had their difficulties. Alabama, in particular, comes to mind. It took me three long days to get across that state! Each day, I encountered at least one friendly local whom I captured with my camera.

Looking back, I am so grateful for these people ...

MARCH 10 - Near Gordo, AL.

I was changing a flat tire on the side of the highway and Glenn, a pastor at a local church, pulled over to ask if I needed help. He is a road biker himself and so he felt especially sympathetic to me. We had a great talk about many things right there on the shoulder of the highway! :)

MARCH 11 (Chilton County, AL) - During a fairly miserable ride on Highway 82 in central Alabama, Amanda, a Subway employee, pointed out that she drove past me about 25 miles down the highway and was astonished at how quickly I came to her workplace, where I took some time to sit and rest. That was so encouraging! :)

MARCH 12 - My last day in Alabama. This was actually not a bad bicycling day as Highway 82 in southeast Alabama really calms down.

I met these three guys in front of a convenience store somewhere east of Union Springs in Bullock County. They treated me like a celebrity when they learned I was bicycling across America. And man, people were really friendly down there!

Oh ... the guy in the middle was boasting about his high school basketball team winning the state championship.

Actually, I guess it's really "five people in Alabama." God bless them all! :)

-Steve

P.S. - Again, if you want to read more, visit my main bike across America index page: http://bikeacrossamerica.org/trip-report/index.htm.

Okay, I put "Don't Read This Blog Entry" as the title heading because I'm partly ambivalent to write this. Here's what's been happening...

It appears I will definitely be bicycling across America in the near future. I know, I know, I said this last year and didn't do it, and that's partly why I have been more quiet about my plans this year. Obviously, I wanted many of you myspace friends to know.

Basic information:

When are you leaving? I plan to stand in the Pacific Ocean in San Diego on February 1, 2008 and begin peddling east.

When do you plan to finish? Not sure. People think I can finish in two months, which would mean early April. I think it will be a little later than that.

What is your route? I am taking the southern route during late winter/early spring when high temperatures are usually in the 60's to 80's. The main cities/areas I'll be going through are: San Diego, CA - Blythe, CA - Phoenix, AZ - Show Low, AZ - Socorro, NM - Clovis, NM - Lubbock, TX - Wichita Falls, TX - Texarkana, TX - southern Arkansas - Mississippi - central Alabama - southern Georgia.

Why are you doing this? It's one of those life dreams. I don't think I could live with myself for the rest of my life if I never really took a stab at this. There's so much more I could say. I will tell you God has me in a place where it's become clear that I must take this on for my own personal growth, healing and spiritual vitality. There is a lot of future uncertainty about my future: where I will live, how my counseling ministry will be used and other important life matters. I'm believing God will use this adventure to help me take steps towards having more clarity and insight about such matters. 

I simply can't allow petty inconveniences and circumstances stop me or discourage me, and I'll admit fear was doing a number on me earlier in the month.

Do you have any sponsors? No. While by no means rich, I'd like to think I can afford this ride with many financial sacrifices and working extra hard later in the year.

Are you going to be camping? Nope. The plan is to find the cheapest forms of lodging every night. I'm also working very hard at networking to find people who might be willing to put me up on the route.

Are you going alone or with a group? I'm going alone. The idea of going with others sounds enticing, but realistically, this is one of those types of adventures where I just could not wait and sit around for another person to join me. This must be done now while the window of opportunity is wide open! I will not waste time *hoping* someone would come along for the ride!

Are you bringing a camera? Oh yes! When I return home, I plan to create a page with pictures of each day on www.BikeAcrossAmerica.org (my site). I really look forward to that!

Will you have your laptop with you? No. My laptop is too large and heavy to carry along. This is something that disappoints me when I think about it, but what are you going to do?

How can I receive updates on your trip as it unfolds? My plan is to post brief blog entries right here on my myspace page with short reports when I have Internet access. I'll post the basics of where I'm at, what's been happening, highlights, etc.

How can I help? The best way you can help is to review the route (menitoned above) and either give me a place to stay for the night, or connect me with someone you know well along the route who would offer me free lodging. Free, cheap and safe lodging! (Call me cell or e-mail me at my personal e-mail if you have connections.)

Will you have a party at the end? I hope to have some kind of mini-gathering and celebration in Jacksonville, Florida when the trip ends. (Probably in early to mid April?) I will be flying back west from this city and anticipate spending a day or two there. If you live in Florida or Georgia and want to meet up, let me know. Again, call me cell or send a note to my personal e-mail.

Lastly, here's one token photo of me with my bike.

(Oh and yes, I no longer use tennis shoes with stirrups on the pedals. My cycling shoes are so much better!)

Your prayers, encouragement and good thoughts right here on this blog and in my comment section are well appreciated! I can't thank you enough!

Your Friend,
Steve

Friends, the Garbage Cans, my fantasy football team, has reached the semifinals. If I win this week, I will be in the championship game. Yay!

My team faces the 1 seed in the league, the Evil Bunnies. As you can see, he has a very strong team. I am clearly the underdog and it will take some luck to defeat him, but man oh man, I am going to stay positive. All of my players have the potential to perform really well.

I am so grateful to have gotten this far already. My team started 0-2 to start the year and I was desperate to make changes to turn my team around. I picked up some really good free agents (Shaun McDonald, Jeff King, Ryan Grant) and made some key trades (acquiring Hines Ward, Detroit defense which was really good earlier in the season) to improve my team into contention. I finished the year winning nine of my last eleven games and I won the 4 seed (20 team league, six playoffs berths) to finish 9-4.

If you watch the football games this week, please cheer for my respective players. Thank you!

And what do you think? Does that Yahoo avatar kind of look like me? :p)

GO GARBAGE CANS! :)

-Steve

P.S. I'll post the results in a reply to this particular blog entry after the weekend.

EDITED A WEEK LATER - I lost. :(

Relationship With Dad, Relationship With God Theory

I've heard this theory various times over the years, in church contexts and in therapeutic ones (I'm a counselor, you know), and I thought I'd throw it out there for you to consider, reflect upon and maybe comment about.

It goes like this: The attributes and characteristics of your father, including the quality of one's relationship with him, often gets subconsciously projected onto God.

Speaking personally and professionally here, there seems to be a lot of truth to that statement. Of course, there are exceptions, but I can't tell you how many times I've seen this in my own life and in others. A few examples...

- A father who treated you like you were a nuisance = A God who "couldn't be bothered" with your prayers and concerns.
- Absent father = Non-existent God.
- A physically present, but aloof, emotionally uninvolved father = A God who displays little impact or power in your life and can't do much for you.
- An abusive father or one who didn't protect you from abuse = Probably not a God you'd want to get to know anyway; A God who isn't your advocate.
- A father who cared and was invested in your life, one whom you could discuss anything with = A strong and intimate relationship with God.
- A critical and perfectionistic father = A God focused on obedience to rules, who is quick to point out when you've screwed up, is rarely pleased with you and has just about "had it" with you with your constant sinning.

Those are just a few examples. Again, I realize there are exceptions to the rule, but I dare say this theory holds at least some truth. What do you think? Care to share your thoughts?

Six 14ers This Summer

Woo-hoo! I climbed six "14ers" (i.e. mountains with an altitude of 14,000+ feet) this summer. Here are links to all six hikes including a spiffy picture of myself on Mt. Sneffels.

Mt. Sherman, Mt. Sneffels, Mt. Belford, Quandary Peak, Mt. Yale and Mt. Antero



Let me throw in another picture here. This is Chris and Sue, whom I hiked up Mt. Sherman with. Chris is known as "Florida Nuke" on the Friendship Board on my web site:



Have a good one, my friends.

-Steve