My Summer began May 1st when I was on my way to see Iron Man. Long story short, I was hit by a car and became stronger in the process but unfortunately still poor...

The whole experience got me to thinking about the importance of my scooter The Fortress. It's a tough machine that acts as my legs to get around the city. Unfortunately its big and heavy. When it comes to traveling outside of the city, it can only fit in vans or trucks. I've always needed to get a travel scooter. What that is, is a scooter light enough for a person to carry one handed and can fold to fit in the trunk of any car. It's not a tough out door scooter like the fortress but it's exactly what I need for taking my comedy outside of Toronto.

That's why I decided to create this fundraiser.
I didn't want to just ask/beg for the money. I'm going to work for it by showcasing my skills as a stand up comedian. Also, I got some of the funnest sketch and Stand up comedians in Toronto helping me out.


Hosted by the Hilarious Mark Forward! -Jon Dore Show/ Canadian Comedy Award Winner 2005

Also featuring...

- Marty Adams -Second city Mainstage/ Saw 4

- Andrew Chapman - Host of SCI Q on the Discovery Channel

- Fraser Young - Video On Trial/ Comedy Now

Sketch troupes...

-The Chapuda Bros!

-Punch Drysdale!

and Videos from the Imponderables!

Plus a Secret surprise ethnic based musical comedy team, which will remain nameless, that will blow your minds or crotch! Depending on your sexual orientation and age...


There will also be a 50/50 draw and over a thousand dollars worth of raffle prizes from MonsterCable and 3rd Quadrant Comics.


Wheel chair entrance located around the corner at Wayne Grestsky's restaurant on Blue Jays Way. The door must be opened from the inside so send someone in to get a servers attention. Wayne Gretsky himself may, or may not, be there to let you in.

Tickets are $15 online or by phone, $18 at the door.

416.343.0011 or 800.263.4485
http://secondcity.com/?id=theatres/toronto/mainstage/schedule


Even if you can't make it. Tell your friends, family co-workers or just any random people who likes to laugh!


A lot of generous people who can't make it have expressed interest in
donating to the event. For those people I set up a Pay- Pal account. Check out the link below.

Cheers!
Andre Hillario Arruda

HandiCrap: The Fundraiser

I have finally uploaded a video of my stand up set for all of you people who don't live near Toronto Canada or are just too lazy to come see me live.

It's a taping of a set I did back in November, for an XM satellite radio show called Chompin' on the Bit w/ Ben Miner… Sorry Ben if I spelled that wrong.

Check it out but remember, TV/videos is never as good as the real thing. Seeing stand up, sketch and/or improv live is the only way to get the full on entertainment experience!

Please help support live Comedy.



~~~~~~~~**** The more you know!











First bitch anyone?

Some of you already know that I shot some sketches for the MMVA's, unfortunately because the show was too long, they ended up being cut. I found them on Youtube so here you are. Enjoy...

I shot this parody film trailer, directed by David Gibb, a couple weeks ago. It was submitted as an entry for the new reality show "On the Lot" Produced by Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg. Click here The Slow Die Quickly to vote and comment on the short.

For Crap sake, I nearly suffered frost bite and was almost thrown from a horse! The least you can do is vote and comment!

I very much appreciate it.

P.S. If you haven't already subscribe to my blog

P.P.S. First Bitch! is still up for grabs

Now alll I gotta do is figure out how I'm going to get there... any ideas?

I'm sorry but an asthmatic villain with the exception of Darth Vader, is not scary!

As I type this I have roughly over 480 Myspace friends. I would say about 20-30 of them are people I actually spend time with outside of my computer. The rest are comprised of...

- People who like my work,

- People who have heard of me and would one day like to see me work,

- People to network with - comedians, actors, writers, directors, producers

-People who I am a fan of

- Cousins

- And people who have randomly added me, because they like to tell there friends "Hey check this out, I have a midget on my friends list!"


As I said before I have over 480 Myspace friends and the number keeps climbing fast. However, every once in a while a few might delete me as their friend. That's cool. I'm sure they had a good reason to do it. No sweat off my back. I don't even notice it most of the time. However, a couple weeks ago I was looking at the list of readers who subscribe to my blog. I know I was surprised I had any to. One of them was a person who I didn't know. Currently, he goes by the name 'The Iron Maiden Mustache Project.'  Sounds like a fun guy!

  I remember him requesting my Myspace friendship a while ago. I almost always say yes but I don't always check out peoples pages unless I know them personally or they send me a message/comment or new reason now, subscribe to my blogs.

After clicking his name I noticed that he had some interesting blogs himself including one titled

"So Long Little Giant"

Could this be about me? I thought.  No, that's just silly. How could it be about me? Put your ego away Andre.

And that's what I did, before clicking on the blog and discovering that it WAS, infact about me...

"I've decided to give Andre The Anti-Giant the old heave-ho.  It turns out he was very anti-semetic, and since I'm very pro-semetic (I'm looking at you Mel Brooks) I just had enough of his hogwash.  Besides, I still have my good friend Brad Williams to keep me in stitches."

All I can say is wow. He's substituting me with another midget comedian! That's like saying,

'You know Eddie Murphy picks up She-males. At least I still have Dave Chappelle to laugh at. Ha ha ha... Iron Maiden rules!'

I messaged Mustachey (that's what I'll call him) asking him why he's slandering my good name with his lies, but he did not answer me. To defend myself, even though I know I dont have to. I am not anti- Semitic (the correct spelling of the word)

How could anyone be a comedian and hate Jews?  I'm pretty sure Jews invented comedy, ask the 2000 Year Old Man! I was born and raised Catholic. Jews & Catholics have generally the same things but with different names

For example...

- Jews have a Brisk, Catholics have a Baptism

- Jews get Circumcised by a Rabbi, Catholics get Circumcised by a doctor (though it's not mandatory)

- Jews have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Catholics have a Conformation

- Jewish Guilt, Catholic guilt

- Jews were born on earth, Catholics were born on EARTH!

I don't understand how anyone can be Anti-Semitic. It just doesn't make sense to me. Anti-Semites believe that Jews killed Christ. This can not be true. Anyone, who has read the New Testament knows that Jews didn't kill him, the Romans did! Therefore, the Italians that killed Christ...

On behalf of myself, Andre the Anti-Giant, I want to apologize to  My Italian friends who read this blog, You know I love each and every one of you... but you have to admit it's kind of true.

Amazing, I can't believe I typed this entire blog with out mentioning Mel Gibs... shit!

I know I haven't been posting enough blogs about my life and I apologize to those who read them, if anyone does read these.

If you do read them I would like to know. Let's play a game called first Bitch! From now on every time I post a blog you don't have to read it, or do anything but click on it and if no one else has commented then post "First Bitch!" and you win! What do you win, you ask? The satisfaction of knowing that you are first... and calling everyone who isn't first a bitch. Once that is done you can proceed to read my blog, post a comment relating to it, and kudo as you see fit. Now to see if this catches on. I bet it wont. Prove me wrong. Reverse psychology is great!

True story.