It's been an eternity squared since we posted an update on the Future Tense page, let alone signed on to update our happenstances and befuddlemances. And it has been. To make a long story short,
Future Tense is done. We done got uprooted out of North Carolina and got lost somewhere along I-40 and ended up in Los Angeles, and we're done.
We have one more release we're fixin' to notch on our belt like a virgin on prom night, this
Cancer Bats &
This is Hell split, which will be heading off to the plant next week, and we ought to be getting these 7" puppies (not talking about
Matt from He is Legend's penis, it's more like a 10" puppy) in time for our boys from the North and The Great White North to head off to Europa to Eurapa some Eurasian minds on the hardcore tour of this young millenium with
Comeback "Lost Addicts" Kid,
Parkway "Ularu Worshippers" Drive, and
The "Yeah Lemmy Sang On Our Record, Fuck You" Warriors. The color breakdown for this 7" is going to be as ridiculous as the totally righteous artwork, drawn up by the gorgeous, talented, fun, vivacious, and did we mention we're in love with her?,
Alex Snelgrove. We'll have more details later, when we finally stop masturbating to the photos of Travis from This is Hell with
short hair. He looks like a Gucci model, or a heartbreakin' wop from Gangs of New York, we can't decide.
In other news, as you may have acertained by now, everything has changed since we last made a post.
He is Legend put out a new record that redefined nu-metal in the best way possible (Suck Out the Mother Fucking Poison), toured with Killswitch Engage and got thrown in jail sometime for something or another.
Classic Case put out a genre-defining new record on Fearless (Losing at Fucking Life) and promptly broke the fuck up.
Josh Moore's solo country stuff will cause you to drink many a tall-boy PBR and make out with beautiful women with long hair and cowboy boots, and Jared is now singing in a band with the all the dreamboats from
Codeseven in a project called
Telescreen, which, I gather, will be the greatest record to come out of North Carolina since we packed up and moved out. Mitch joined He is Legend for a hot minute, then went packin' in his shell back to a farm in Chapel Hill to make music sound good on record for the rest of his days at a glorious studio,
Warrior Sound, with his homeboy Al and his woman and his turtle power. Durijah joined
Saves the Day and hangs out with us all the time in California and has remained the coolest ex-member of Classic Case. Nobody knows what happened to Eric, he's probably off being extremely good looking.
Boxbomb is going to put their record out on a legit label. Be on the lookout, because they are a band that will be around forever. You hear that? Not for one album. Not for two albums. Forever.
Boxbomb's singer,
Ryan Gustafson, put out a split 7" with
Josh Moore on our boy Billy Reed's record label,
Reed Records. Check it out. If it's not sold out (500 pressed on white), then grab one. Not only will it be a collector's item, but it just might change your perfect life.
Idea of Beauty still shreds it up around North Carolina and drink more beer than anybody we know. They've recorded a few more demos and are being courted heavily by a bevy of beautiful women and really fucking gnarly record labels.
Weedeater just put out the best record of their four hundred year career,
God Luck and Good Speed, on the almighty
Southern Lord Records. We had a chance to hang out with Dixie Dave in July when they played Los Angeles with
sunn0))), and we mutually lamented the fact we never got around to re-pressing Weedeater's back catalog on vinyl as well as the fact that we live in Los Angeles now, and why the Atlantic is a much better ocean than the Pacific. One thing you can't lament is the amount of drugs that Weedeater and our Wilmington brethren
ASG (in town recording a new album you'll listen to all summer driving around the beaches with the top down) can consume, and the fact that Dixie Dave got a tattoo that day of a monkey smoking a joint. A monkey smoking a joint. A monkey smoking a joint.
That's all for now. Tell your friends to massage their Paypal accounts to get them ready for this 7" split. Pre-orders go up soon, there are super-limited colors, and in case you forgot, North Carolina is always on top.