a compilation of letters from donna wrote from fall of 2006......

Saturday November 18, 2006
Current Mood: Sad

Yesterday Bunny fractured her front left leg. She ran down a steep hill and did one of her majestic leaps off a ledge and I guess teh landing snapped the bone. The reason this happened, I learned, is that she has osteosarcoma - the hideous bone cancer that is one of the worst ones.  SHe had shown no signs of pain until the injury.  But a small part of her bone, right above her wrist joint , has been eaten away byt his cancer. this is devastating to say the least.  Bunny is one of the healthiest dogs I know.   SHe still runs and jumps like a puppy.  She is so good natured and loving ot everyone she know.  SHe has a zest for life that us humans can only hope to aspire to...
   I am right now waiting to hear from the vet about blood work and to see wha t we do next.  She has calmed down enough ( the pain killers are finally doing their job) to let me leave her side for a moment to make calls etc...most likely she will lose the leg ( and the pain) and then we do everything in our power to fight the cancer and lead a pain free life...
  anyone who reads this please send good thoughts Bunny's way.  We will need any and all the support in any form we can get.  She is the love of my life. She is my best friend.  She is my true teacher. This week is the 7 year anniversary of the day we found each other on the streets.  I still can't believe how blessed I am to know this creature.  Every moment with her fills my heart with joy.

November 24, 2006

To our Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you all for the outpouring of love, prayers and generosity you have been sending us.  It has filled us with strength, courage and calm during this very difficult past week.  Because of the osteoarcoma ( bone cancer) discovered in her leg last friday, Bunny had the surgery to remove her front left leg on tuesday. It went smoothly.  She came home wednesday afternoon and has been resting relatively well.
  thursday....thanksgiving day
I am so thankful today to be here with my beautiful dog.  and heart broken that she has to endure this pain.  It will be a long healing process but I know we can survive it.  and I will do everything in my power to give Bunny the life she deserves.  she is and always has been a constant source of unconditional love, companionship, inspiration and joy. 
   Friday.....
   we just got  back from the bet fro him to check her progress and remove her phentenal(sp?) drug patch from her leg and remove a tube from the incision that was used for me to inject drugs straight to the nerve. ( sounds scarier than it was) the doctor said she is doing great! she is today walking on the 3 legs.  She happily hopped the block of Valencia from teh parking lot on 19th st to the hospital at 18th.  ( and proudly got to 'mark' one of her fav. spots)  and right now is sleeping again.  she will have her stitches removed in 14 days.  The mission pet hospital has been really wonderful and I am so thankful to both Dr. Scarlett, who initially diagnosed Bunny and Dr.Gordon who performed teh surgery and is currently overseeing her recovery, who have treated us with clarity, kindness and compassion and have made us feel as confident and comfortable as can be during all this. I will continue to send updates. I discovered this site dedicated to 3 legged dogs and it explains in simple language what happens with dog amputations and why it is often the choice needed to allow for a pain free life.
http://people.ku.edu/..cadavis/

also...I will  be pulling all resources to help raise funds for the vet costs. yoga class benefits/ kids 'events'/ shows/ etc in the near future.  will also soon have a button on bunny's myspace page where you can leave donations through paypal.....any help, ideas, offerings , will be gladly accepted.
 
I hope you are all having a wonderful thanksgiving holiday!
again, thank you. we are so blessed to have you in our lives.
with LOVE,
Bunny and Donna

December 30 2006
Latest on bunny dog.....

Hello all and a very warm happy winter holiday to you. just a quick update....Bunny has healed tremendously well from her amputation.  her spirit is back.  her wag is back. much to my neighbor's disappointment, her bark is back and she's eatin like a champ.  It has been an amazing voyage going back out into the world of "walkies" and the wonderful reactions, cheers, smiles, questions, conversations and interactions.  here are a few of my favorite quotes.
" no one's gonna yell at a 3 legged dog...or cat"
" we once had a 3 legged hamster"
"was she born that way?"
" your dog looks happy"
" they ( dogs) represent all that is good in this world"
and my favorite, a honk and a thumbs up from an excited old mexican man driving by on 18th st this past wednesday after bunny's first chemotherapy treatment. What?!!!?
Did she just say the other other C work?
yes, the most common question asked when people learn she lost her leg due to cancer is, "Did they get it all?" well , no. instead of me explaining go to this link
http://www.bathbrunswickvet.com/library/cancerl.html?articleID=3OSTEOSARCOMA
it explains what's going on and why we are doing what we are doing( so I don't have to as my short note is becoming looong) yes it is sad. yes it is hard. yes it is expensive. it does neither of us any good to hang out in the sadness or struggle or pain of it any more thank we have to. it is not to say we are not hurting. we cry. we ache. gotta let it be released though because I know for a fact that when my mind is positive and free from worry, bunny senses the good vibration. We can be natural healers.  We can do the best we can and live in love.  Practice makes practice. Dogs teach us so much about service, devotion, patience, strength and grace. 
Many thanks for all the gifts support and love. we hope to be able to thank you personally soon. come see us!
Love to you all in this and every new year,
Donna and Bunny
PS if you practice hatha yoga. Do extra 3 legged downward dogs, vinyasas, updogs, flip it, hop it. Do it for Bunny! Do it cause it's fun! Do it cause you can! if you don't practice Yoga , get down on all fpoirs then lift one limb. Try it! Don't forget to Breathe.....

Sunday April 01 2007
Pause.

Living each moment in gratitude is a challenge, but one that I am up to and one that I enjoy practicing at all times.  The discipline to learn, to study, to practice this way is a joy and makes sense.  You never know what is around every corner.  The question is can you be awake enough to respond with intelligence with skill with love?  Being able to take each moment and notice with out judgment without analyzing without carrying over the debris from the last moment.  But to just accept. To just let go. we CAN control our thoughts and that is all. We can only hold one thought at a time so why not make it clear?  Why not make it positive?  Life is ridiculously short. Why waste a moment creating pain in our thoughts?  There will be enough discomfort just in the act of being alive, why make it harder?  Why not send out the kind of vibration you wish to receive?

The blessings come when we need them though sometimes it is not clear at the time.
  When I met Bunny for the first time, I was NOT in a 'good place' by any definition.  I was verry caught up in my own drama to which I became enslaved.  You just don't know at the time but that's what's so cool about time. it passes.
I thank god that I was for a brief moment opened enough to allow for an opportunity for this furry little creature to come into my life.

I almost missed it to be honest. 
" Wanna buy a puppy?", this dude says.  It was a block from where I lived at the time, on Sycamore alley in the Mission district of San Francisco.  17th and Mission, one of the piss-smelliest-dirtiest-crack-shit blocks in town.   Puppies were not the normal fix being sold on that strip.  So, I kept walking....like always.  Then I stopped in my tracks.
That was a PUPPY staring at me from that huge guys arms!  I turned around and saw her eyes.  He wanted 50 bucks.  I had 15 in my pocket.  I said I'd give him 20 more later.  ( he knew where I lived and actually came knocking a coupla days later for the 20) I had no business taking in a puppy.  I was in the midst of an ugly, bitter, eviction battle. ( between friends who once worked together within a music community. yep. you can imagine) I was broke. I didn't know where I would be living next.  But the pureness, the innocence of this little baby animal grabbed my heart and there was no questioning.  Thank god I didn't miss that moment.  I could have so easily walked by.  Ignored. As I had so trained myself to do.
 
So there she was. my new friend who led me back to the grass.  the air. my heart.  and 7 years later she still does.

 A little late on this but we have had some internet service 'issues' that and my freakishly long claws and well,  having only one hand makes for some slow typing, but a dog's gotta blog .....so here i go.

 Thank you to all the good people in the heart of it all for helping with the pet songs benefit!!!
Sounds like it was a blast. Amazing music was shared. And somewhat of a family reunion...
 Dj has been a bit of a wreck due to the financial and emotional strain of all this cancer stuff, but you wouldn't know it since she has kept on truckin', working hard and keeping it on the upbeat so I don't get down. But if you listened to her voice for the past 3 or so months you could hear the sadness. She has literally been hoarse since November. Couldn't sing anything but that raspy betty davis junk and was struggling each day just to teach her classes and work with the kids. Pretty frustrating stuff. Especially for someone who loves to sing. I, of course,  kept reminding her that there are worse things to lose than your voice. Say an arm, for example.
 
Well, one day of being in Cincinnati and her voice magically comes back and it wasn't from doing any of the things they recommend to heal a voice - she had tried almost every one - nothing was working - not even the boiled raisin water. ickk..but we knew it was tied in to the emotional more than the physical. Though rest does wonders. not having responsibility does wonders. Just being with good people.  Just getting a few good hugs here and there. She hugs me a lot. It helps.

  So she comes back all singing and talking away. And it is nice. When we go out to play she can actually call me from afar. I love hearing those words. "bunny!" "come!" "treat treat!"

  We were walking to the vet the other morning and these guys were admiring me, and gettin the lo down - most think I was born like this, because I am so graceful and at ease with my body -  and the one said," Wow! you are sooo cool. I was just saying how I wished I could make someone better just by the touch of my hand." Dj replied" touch is very healing." " I like what you're saying!" he says with a smile as we hopped on down the road.
 
   I didn't get my chemo treatment this week. There is something not up to par with my kidneys. It is not to worry though. No signs of the cancer in the kidney, so that's good. The doc thinks it is probably very early stage of  kidney disease. Not a surprising effect from the high protien diet and chemo drugs- pretty harsh stuff, although I have been takin it like a champ-  they have taken thier toll. It's working though. No cancer. But, we think enough is enough on the heavy drugs.

   We met this older gentleman a few weeks back. He took a real interest in me and was especially interested  in what kind of chemotherapy I was recieving and how we were affording it etc. Dj asked him if he was familiar with these kind of treatments and he said " A little too familiar". He had lost his wife of 40 + years to ovarian cancer just this last November. When he pet me he had to turn around to cry for a bit. He said we were doing the right thing. He also said," healing Bunny is a sacred journey". Indeed. Thanks to all for being a part of it.

 I like this saying:

It's not that we are all in this together. It's that we are all this together.

blog/email update on moms ( donna jay) page....
I miss everyone. I started chemo treatments so a little tired and not as hungry this week. just got back from the canyon and saw my best friend Sheila ( an aussie shepherd!) I love her. We herded for a short time. I get tired easily and I had been chasing flying squirrel and sticks for a while before I ran into her... But it was good for my spirit just to reconnect to her, I hadn't seen her since my loss.

if you want to see more pics of me:

http://photos.yahoo.com/donna2tonic

if you want to learn about osteosarcoma and chemotherapy stuff
http://www.bathbrunswickvet.com/library/cancer1.html?articleID=3#OSTEOSARCOMA

 
If you want to make a donation paypal or write my mom at donnajay5@hotmail.com to get her address.

I love you.
Bunny

That's right I was born in 1999.  Year of the rabbit.  No, that is not why I was named Bunny. Nor is it because of my ears. ( the ears were down as an infant)  I was named Bunny because Donna was overwhelmed the day she brought me home ( I was so small she could carry me in the palms of her hands.) I was hopping all over her room like a bunny and she just kept saying, " What am I gonna do with you,  you little bunny?!".  And that's the story of my name. I've had plenty of nick names and they keep comming.  Lately it's been  "ol' one arm" and  "donklin", I don't know where she comes up with this stuff....but the best nick names are always the first. Bunny, now that is a damn fine name. And I have always hopped. Now better than ever.

So I am half way done with my 6 chemo treatments. I have been tolerating them well. And keeping my strength up. I have always had a strong immune system. And a fighting spirit. Must be the Irish in me.  Not much sickness from the chemicals, just tired. After a few days though, I get my mojo back. Heh, Mojo is the name of a black pug that works down the street. Good name.
 I don't at all like going to the hospital. I put up such a fuss and bark and cry the WHOLE time.
And those of you who know me know I am a pro when it comes to being vocal.
So the hospital has asked Donna to bring me the day before my scheduled treatment for the blood work part and then they are gonna do their darndest to keep my stay for chemo as short as possible. So I guess the fussing is getting me my way in a way. The less time at that place the better. The people there are super nice and I love them. I know they are helping me but the place gives me the creeps. I pick up on all the animal stress vibes. including my own.

Happy year of the Pig y'all.
Pigs are cool. Theyre smart, like Dogs.

May this year bring us all liberation, joy and peace.
Love to you!

Because I know you need this information, here is a list of my nick names of the past...

Bunny
Bunny dog
Papa
Roni
Papa Roni
Papa don't preach
Siller
Bunny papa siller
Goon
Pony
Monster
Monster chi chi
Moo moo
Moo moo lee lee
Chimp
Chimpy
Stink
Stink paw
Mabel mouth
Wormy
Groany
Groaneous
Puppy so real!
Bunnarama
Bunnalicious
Bunnarific
Bunnyrd Skynyrd
Bunnyrd
Ponk
Ponkachino
Bat
Bunji
Goat ass
B
Bean
Bean hound
Bunnels
Donkey
Donklin
Hopper
Barker
Wolfy
Catfish
Bunny Catfish
Baby bunny
Hoggit
Frankle
Ol' one arm
Long arm of the law

  Things have been going pretty well. I am a natural at the tripod deal. I am sure you never doubted my abilities, as I am a physically one of the most amazing creatures you could ever know ... I have been carefully building up my strength again, eating REAlly well. resting and getting back to my life....I am currently sprawled out on my cushy dog bed (thanks auntie megan!) with my new favorite ever blankie ( thanks auntie cuddles!) awaiting walkies. Yes, I am channeling my words through her fingers.
 
  The rain finally stopped last week and we made it to the ocean. I love to kill seaweed. Seriously, I can shake the shit out of that stuff...ah the smells. and feeling the sand between my paw pads.. . Lots of new pictures coming....DJ will have to fill you in later on all the "medical" details -  and upcoming fundraiser activities. I have taught her that begging isn't so wrong. people really want to help, sometimes you just gotta know how to ask.
 
  Mostly we are looking forward to having  a little time OFF  so we can  relax and go have some fun and catch up. It has been a challenging, emotional, exhausting and enlightening month.
Guru Devo Maheshvara!

 Please keep sending your good vibes, it really helps. Apparently this cancer is an aggressive one  although you would NEVER know from looking at me. I am shining bright!
LOVE LOVE LOVE,
Bunny

  My top 8 favorite places to Rock Out :
Ocean Beach
Glen Park Canyon
Dolores Park
Glen Parker Woods!
The Car 
that mountain place waaaay up north nr medocino nat. forrest mmmmmmmm
The Sprout House
My & DJ's Bed.

They say I have cancer - I don't believe em. But if my  mom wants to start cooking my meals from scratch and buy me organic locally farmed beef and chicken and kale and carrots( my fav) etc, who am I to stop her? It's not like I wasn't spoiled before.....
I am adjusting to my new tripoderial stature. I look pretty rad. It is all comming naturally. It's all about the triangle. I go on walkies. a bit of  running . she was already calling me 'Hopper" as a nickname so now it really fits. I've started to make my regular rounds at the local merchants for them to love on me and give me treats. all I have to do is wag my tail and just BE. I ran the other day for a stick. can't quite do my bad ass jumping  or herding moves(yet) but it has only been 2 weeks! We're still taking it pretty easy. I still get sore and uncomfortable especially at night or sometimes in the middle of the night. I still take some drugs but really its the peanut butter or honey she puts on the pill that makes me happy......I get my stitches out on friday. then we'll go to Atlas cafe for some lunch...and this weekend the OCEAN.
Don't know yet what happens next as far as "treatments" go. All I can do is enjoy the day. and keep my mind body and spirits up.....

I hope everyone can come see me soon. I love you all.
and if you see me give me lots of treats and massages , especially my right leg and shoulder which has been doing the work of 2....and while yr at it give my mom some treats and massages, she has been carrying me up and down a lot of stairs and working extra hard at making sure I am healing and happy. Dog love her.

here's to peace love and living in the here and now!
your friend,
Bunny
ps I am going to dolores park today - fucking can;t wait. I have some serious marking to catch up on there...and then to my nanny gig. ( where I will sleep and get petted by adorable kids and more meat !)

last week I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma ( bone cancer) when I broke my leg because the bone had been weakened by the cancer.
My front left leg was removed tuesday nov 22 and I am recovering and adjusting. I can already get around 3leggedly. I walked a whole block today going to see my doctor and I can jump up on the bed. which is where I have been spending a lot of time. I cant wait to feel good enough to go on walkies and visit all my friends,  and favorite parks and smell the ocean.  and get back to my work of keeping watch, spreading love, being beautiful and being THE GREATEST! I am on a lot of pain killer drugs.
send me love.

hepples,
Bunnarama