I haven’t written much of anything of a personal nature since I arrived here in Los Angeles. So much is going on all the time I find myself at a loss when it comes to choosing what to write about and then I end up not writing anything at all. That seems to be a recurring problem for me. Indecision leads to inactivity. It is never for lack of thoughts, ideas, and experiences that I don’t write. I have them all here, by the truck load.

By far the best experience I’ve had here in L.A. was the handful of days I spent working for free for Lena Headey. Lena Headey is a British actress known best for her role as the Queen in 300 and as Sarah Connor in the new Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. It’s kind of a long and convoluted story as far as how I got involved on a project being directed by her. It all has to do with knowing someone who knows someone who knows someone and so on. That is how pretty much everything works out here. To my dismay what they told us in film school is ultimately true, "in this business it’s all about who you know." Fortunately, in a short period of time, I have managed to know a lot of people and I continue to know more every day.

The Lena Headey project was a gateway for a lot of great experiences. The first day on the shoot the guest star was John Cleese, the comedy legend of Monty Python and Fawlty Towers. It was an honor and a treat to be in his presence. Lon was working as the Second Assistant Camera so he got to do the slate before every shot. John was messing with him constantly, to the extreme of tickling his armpits while he was trying to call out the shot! How many people in this world can say they had their armpit tickled by John Cleese? Not many I bet. John was very nice and funny and said hello to just about everybody on set (it was a small crew). On his way out he shook my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Oh how I love showbizness! And that was just the first day.

As the shoot went on it only got better. Because the crew was so small and we were spending such long days with each other we managed to get very close. At the end of day one Lena was bumming me cigarettes and giving me a hug when I left. By the end of day three she was calling me "sweetie" and "gorgeous" and things like that. She is one of the most lovely people I have ever met. She is real and kind and very down to earth. She is petite and cute and silly. Her husband is hilarious and ridiculous and offered to cut my hair for free sometime. He is very good with hair.

Some of the other people involved in the show were Jason Lewis (Smith from Sex and the City), Michelle Arthur (the receptionist in Headcase on Starz), and Piper Perabo (Coyote Ugly). I didn’t get to meet Piper because I was running around taking care of a bunch of car shit the day she was on the set. It’s too bad because she sounded like she was really cool. Jason Lewis was a really nice guy and Michelle was hilarious and sweet as can be. Everyone was so easy to get along with and no one behaved like they were above anyone else.

I got a couple of really good opportunities on this set as well. Most of the time I was just being a production assistant, going on runs, cleaning up and maintaining the craft service table, grabbing stuff for people, etc. But one day they needed a bunch of extras to play Judy Garland impersonators so I got to be one of those. They dressed me up as a punk rock Judy Garland. My hair was spiked straight up and I had all these crazy bows in my hair. They did my makeup all wild complete with inch long fake eyelashes! I wore my bright red patent leather pumps with ankle socks. The shot they did started with me stamping out a cigarette and walking into the agency. It was pretty sweet. I’ll post some stills someday when I get them. Because I was actually IN this project as an actress I can now officially connect myself with Kevin Bacon through the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. I am only two steps away! I was in this project with John Cleese and he was in "The Big Picture" in 1989. I have arrived!

The other opportunity I got came just the next day when Kelly, the script supervisor, got sick and couldn’t come to work. They had me step up and do her job and it was awesome. I did the job really well and enjoyed it at the same time. I got to work closely with Lena making sure we got coverage of all the scenes we were shooting that day and that the continuity matched up. That was a great day. I felt bad that Kelly was sick, she is an awesome girl that I really got along with, but at the same time it was so great for me to have that day. I think I really want to try to get into script supervising in the future.

Anyway, even though it was hard work for no money I think I met some truly wonderful people and made some great connections. I am ultimately very happy that I didn’t get the job at the agency which I interviewed for. I am beginning to change around my whole approach to this Los Angeles place. I’m not so sure I want to tie myself down to an agency or any other Monday through Friday job. I could miss out on so many other great gigs... we’ll see. As long as Lon and I can get by and survive I am willing to explore whatever is out there and do favors and meet people and just wait til the next good job comes around. So far so good. The possibilities are endless.

The Lena Headey project ended a couple of weeks ago and now Lon and I are back to doing a paid PA job on the 2^nd Unit for a big budget feature. The first one we did was "Eagle Eye" staring Billy Bob Thorton and Shia LaBeouf. We got to meet Billy Bob briefly, but unfortunately I didn’t get even a moment with Shia (sigh) but I was within inches of him a couple of times. He wasn’t quite at cool as John Cleese, he didn’t really acknowledge any of the little people working around him. That was a pretty cool gig, watching cars get smashed up and wrangling homeless people in downtown LA. It does get pretty tedious though because 95 percent of the time you are really just standing around in the cold doing nothing. And this time we are doing it for Fast and the Furious 4 so it is even less exciting. I am thankful for the paycheck and that we have gotten a job at all, but what a stinker of a picture to be working on. Just a bunch of cars going back and forth. Oh well, we’ll see what comes next.

In the end when I am standing on a street corner in L.A. at four o’clock in the morning freezing my ass off and thinking I am miserable I have to remind myself that I am actually living my dream. I may be at the bottom end of things, but I am part of the movie making process and that is what I have been wanting for so many years. It’s an amazing feeling when I let it sink in. I have to let it sink in often.

Mike Judge sold his soul to the Devil...

or quite possibly to Rupert Murdoch. Maybe they are one in the same. How else could the Network that is notorious for cancelling kick ass shows well before their prime (Arrested Development, Undeclared, Firefly, etc.) be keeping a show that no one talks about as part of the Sunday night prime time lineup? For the record, I like King of the Hill just fine, but I don't think I have ever enjoyed it to the point that I needed to talk about it to anyone. Come to think of it, I don't think anyone I know even watches it. Mike Judge's other famous creation, Beavis and Butthead, had more buzz surrounding it than King ever gets and it only aired from 1993-1997. Family Guy, another way more talked about animated series in Fox's Sunday night line up, was already cancelled twice and had to be brought back by popular demand both times. Something just doesn't add up.

I want to meet a die hard King of the Hill fan. I want to see and hear the people who gather around the tractor on Monday afternoons to discuss the antics of Hank Hill and the rest of the down home boys when they're not drinkin' beers out back behind the fence. Show me the tens of thousands of women who connect to the character of Peggy Hill with her daily musings, big feet, and sweet stupidity on such an intimate level that would justify this show running for ten years strong. I just don't get it, but maybe my neck isn't quite red enough to understand.

This phenomenon will just have to fall into my unsolved mystery category along with: country music and it's popularity, George Bush being elected twice, the fact that the majority of the country doesn't believe in evolution, and that racism and sexism continue to exist. Although as I drove across the country to my new home in Los Angeles one thing became painfully clear; most of this great land isn't made up of hipster college students, bent on progressive movements of culture. A massive chunk of it is gun toting, Jesus loving, cowboy boot wearing, King of the Hill watching, good ol' US of A. On second thought, it just might be because of these very people that Fox is afraid of cancelling the show. Who knows what kind of shotgun rearing folk might storm the studios in protest.

Since I've been living in L.A. I've been meeting a lot of people. Naturally, it's a big part of being somewhere new, getting out and making friends. Along with meeting lots of people comes giving a lot of handshakes. I've never thought much about handshakes until now. They're just something we grow up knowing about and accepting as our cultural method of introducing ourselves to others. But how many of us know how to give a good handshake? And what is a good handshake? I have developed my own opinions on this.

Have you ever heard the expression "limp fish" (also refered to as "dead fish") in reference to a hand shake? I don't know where or when I heard it, but I think it is the perfect description of a poor handshake. I hate getting slipped the "limp fish." It's when you go to give a good firm handshake and you get this loose slab of flesh wobbling in your grip. It's this tiny moment of awkwardness, at least for me. I'd be interested to hear what it is like for someone who is giving a "limp fish" to get a firm shake. Does it hurt? What about two people with "limp fishes"? Does that even work?

I don't remember being taught about giving a firm handshake. It has just always made sense to me that a nice strong grip (not aggressive or anything) is a good way to make a powerful impression. I think a lot of times men expect me as a woman to have a soft shake and they are surprised by my strength. I've even been complimented in the past on my hand shake. I don't think anyone likes the "limp fish." I don't care what kind of situation or environment it is in; whether it be a job interview, or a bar, or your friend's house or whatever there is no time or place for a weak hand shake.

Maybe I'm being too one sided on this. Perhaps I should learn to quickly adjust my hand shaking strength to accommodate the occasional "limp fish." I suppose the people with the less substantial grips don't enjoy being overpowered in their greetings as much as I don't like having a wet noodle in my hand. What kind of impression am I making on those people when my shake is out of balance?

Here are some excerpts I found on the internet that make me think I am right to feel how I feel:

"Having a firm handshake is important for making a good impression," Chaplin said. "We found that men had firmer handshakes than women did, on average, but we also found that women who had firm handshakes tended to be evaluated as positively as men are. We thought this finding was interesting because often when women have characteristics that are more similar to men, they tend to elicit a somewhat more negative evaluation — simply because it's counter to the usual stereotypes."

"For women who are timid about shaking hands or who feel that handshaking is, traditionally, a masculine activity and who might not shake hands as firmly as they otherwise would, the message would be to go ahead and shake the hand firmly," Chaplin said. "You make a great impression when you do."

"You have to appreciate the firm handshake though. There is nothing worse than the dead fish...firmness shows confidence and resolve. I don't know how people just walk around offering up their hands without using a single muscle. I have a few friends who do this and I have recently started commenting on it in hopes that they will do better next time."

-commentator on a "Give a Good Handshake" article.

"There's nothing more creepy than a limp or soft handshake. As a woman, I'd rather have my hand crushed in a vice than given the "limp fish". Makes me cringe just to think of it.

I'd have serious issues hiring anyone with a limp shake - at the very least, they'd have to learn to shake properly if they ever dealt with clients."

-commentator on Workplace Prof Blog

Okay, I think that's plenty. You can also find people of the opinion that a handshake doesn't matter at all, but they are fewer and far between. Like I said, I never really thought about it much until recently. Maybe you haven't either, but I suggest taking a moment and thinking about the kind of handshake you give if you care at all about the first impression you are making, no matter how small a part of the impression you feel the handshake may be.

So word on the Block is that NKOTB (New Kids on the Block for those of you who weren't a young girl in the 80's) are planning a reunion. If you go to the website nkotb.com you can watch a mysterious short video that ends with the question, "are you ready?" I am. If you explore the website a little further you can watch 6 of the old New Kids videos which made me simultaneously cringe and the cheesiness and giggle for the memories. What is also clear from watching the videos is that Boy Band dancing back then was so incredibly simple that the guys may still be able to do all the original moves! Sweet.

What prompted this reunion? I can't say for sure, but maybe it had something to do with Donnie Wahlberg spending all of Saw 4 standing on an ice cube wearing a noose just to get his head sqwooshed by two more giant ice cubes in the end. He had to be thinking, "there must be something more useful I can be doing with my time." That and perhaps the Kids are realizing that there is a bit of a void in Boy Band culture at the moment. A void they were meant to fill again!

Sadly I never got to see NKOTB in concert when I was a young girl. My family couldn't afford it. What's even more sad is that now as an adult I still probably won't be able to afford a ticket to the show when they come to town. Sigh, I guess I'll have to buy the DVD.

Sometimes I get frustrated with our technology and it's lack of flying cars, teleportation, and voice command everything. C'mon people it's the year 2008! When I get this way I have to take a step back and a good look around and admit to myself that flying cars or not, the future is now. If you don't believe me, here's an example:

Flat Screen TV's

As recently as 1989 and 1990 two movies set in the future; Back to the Future II and Total Recall; presented the flat screen television as one high tech piece of equipment that we as a culture considered futuristic.

"A TV that can be mounted on the wall?! No f–king way! I can't wait for the future!"

They are featured right there along side things like the dehydrated Pizza Hut Pizza that rehydrates and grows to full size in a matter of seconds; the robot piloted taxi cabs which all inexplicably bare the personality of Johnny Carson, the clothing that uses some kind of hydraulics system to adapt itself to perfectly fit its wearer, and the technology to implant oneself with vivid memories of an adventure vacation you don't even have to leave your seat to experience.

When I finally hauled my twenty-some odd inch tube TV to the trash (with the help of another person because I could never lift the damn thing myself) and replaced it with a 40 inch flat screen that weighed less that half my former set, I knew the future was here.

(TV pictured not mine... I don't have pink walls or watch water sports.)

We may never reach the point where we are replacing our windows with flat screen TV's and opting for artificial scenery over what's really outside our homes per the example of a number of movies set in the future, but I wouldn't put it past us. It depends on how bleak our world becomes I suppose.

Although as the technology becomes less expensive and easier to produce maybe some of us will have flat screen panels of various sizes and thicknesses (I bet they get thinner and thinner over the years) in every room of our houses. Television, internet, and phone service all flowing through one set of machines. We could easily switch from tuning in to the newest show on HBO, to checking out the latest post on our favorite blogging site, to making a video phone call to the folks back home.

The possibilities are endless and probably a lot closer than any one of us would be able to believe. As long as we keep holding out for those hover boards ( I can't believe they haven't at least accomplished that yet!) other amazing new inventions will sneak up on us and already have. So next time you are caught in traffic and mumbling to yourself about teleporting to the restaurant, take a deep breath and think about getting one of those handy dandy GPS deals that can at least route you around the traffic, because right now, that's about as close to teleportation as we're gonna get and in it's own right GPS is pretty futuristic too.

In these days of slim pickin's when it comes to new shows on television I have found myself latched on to the new Fox series "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles". Having been a big fan of the movies I was curious to see if they could take this abundant material and turn it into a halfway decent series. We are now a handful of episodes in and in spite of my general feelings of approval of the show there was still something lurking inside me keeping me from giving it my two thumbs up. Maybe I'll just give it one slightly ragged thumb up like Schwarzenegger gives John Connor at the end of "T2" as he is lowered into the molten metal... I finally figured out what that something was.

Why is Sarah Connor wearing make up!?!

What, you ask. Is that really such a big issue? Well, maybe not so much in itself, but it isn't just that one point. The fact that the new Sarah Connor looks a little too good is just one part of the overall uncharacteristic prettiness of the show. Lena Headey (300) was cast in the role formerly portrayed by Linda Hamilton because she has proven her ability to play a strong female character. But Hamilton's Sarah Connor was more than just strong, she was gritty, cold, and quite possibly a little bit crazy. I'm not getting that from Headey, not yet anyway.

In my opinion the show has done a decent job emulating the feel of the first two installments of the franchise directed by James Cameron. The grinding industrial score steps up to set the tone using some well emulated if not actual bits of audio from the films. The action is right on par with great stunts, impressive physical combat scenes, and plenty of cars crashing and things blowing up. The acting isn't tremendous, but I honestly believe it is getting better as the actors grow comfortable in skins of the characters they are portraying.

So back to what's so wrong, the beautification of the source material. The show picks up one year after the plot of "Terminator 2: Judgement Day" leaves off and I feel like in between everyone went and got makeovers. When not in action Lena Headey always feels like she is posing and pursing those big, glossy lips. Thomas Dekker who plays our John Connor has some acting chops, but once again is kind of a pretty boy male model type, not very believable as a successor to Edward Furlong's flannel wearing, grungy version of the teen. And then of course there is the original character of Cameron Phillips the young female Terminator (played by Summer Glau of Serenity) built and sent back in time by John to protect his teenage self. She is just too cute as she learns to put on her make up and trendy little outfits as she gets ready to go to angst-filled high school. But then again, if John Connor made her he would probably make her hot, so that's forgivable.

Overall, the hot leading cast just doesn't work for me, especially when it isn't true to the original material. "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" isn't the only perpetrator of this obnoxious oversight. The trend towards casting roles with super models is growing and it effects television, movies, and the internet. When I go to see a science fiction movie and the team of scientists sent to space on a mission that could mean life or death for the entire planet is made up entirely of young perfectly built, exotic beauties, some with sexy accents that apparently also happen to be geniuses I dunno, it kinda pulls me out of the story.

I know we are all human and it is in our nature to want to look at someone who is attractive as opposed to someone we consider to be unattractive, but there is an element of realism that is sacrificed when this choice is made. Like it's a sign of insecurity on behalf of the creators of the film or television show. They don't fully trust that their story will be engaging enough to hold the audience's attention so they hope they'll at least stick around to see all the hot people.

So anyway, long story short. In spite of the show's desire to sugar coat the world of Sarah Connor by slapping some rose tinted sunglasses on us and rose tinted blush on Sarah, the show has some merit. If it allows itself to give into the grittiness that is in the nature of the Terminator story it will be all that much better. Simply put: keep it real.

I know you've been sooooo curious ;)

I've stayed away from commenting on Britney Spears for a very long time. Not for any particular reason really, mostly because I figured everywhere else is so saturated with news about her that I didn't need to add to the ridiculousness. Why has my attitude changed all of a sudden? Well, to be honest as soon as I heard and saw that Britney had mysteriously begun to speak with a British accent (a week or so ago) in my mind she went from pitiful to hilarious. C'mon, this is a girl who needs to be talked about right? I mean that's what she wants.

For a long time I would go back and forth between feeling sorry for Britney and thinking she was asking for all the grief she attracts. I mean, you watch the footage of her trying to go anywhere or do anything and she is bombarded by cameras and microphones, it's pure chaos. It's no wonder a person exposed to that on a daily basis has problems. But then you have to stop and think about where she's going and what she's doing. Going to gas stations and drug stores three to five times a night. Going out to clubs, having drinks, buying new cars, wearing the most trashy clothing possible... deciding to suddenly speak with a terrible British accent! Anyone who is seriously traumatized by the press is going to make some effort to stay out of it for a while. I haven't ever seen this effort from her. Would it be that terrible to stay indoors for a couple of weeks? Send people out for whatever your red bull and cigarettes? Make a statement. It wouldn't be so terrible for someone who wasn't addicted to publicity. She has a serious problem.

The latest update in the world of Spears is that she is being committed once again for a psychiatric evaluation. So she's probably crazy. That's supposed to put us back into the "feeling sorry for her" boat. I think an actual diagnoses of "insane" would be the only way to get any more sympathy for this chick. Let's face it, she's wacked out trailer trash who had some talent and is desperately afraid that no one is going to care about her anymore. So any way she can keep the press privy to her every move she tries it. What her sadly twisted little mind can't seem to wrap around is the fact that at this point she will get just as much press for making positive changes in her life as negative ones. But maybe it's too late for that. That sort of logic doesn't work in her brain.

And like I said, the minute she started talking in that British accent is when I decided I could write about her. That was a choice. Britney Spears made a choice to start speaking that way in order to get even more press and solidify the public's opinion that she is crazy. No more sympathy, now only sheer fascination as to how far she will take it. Why ignore it? Why not keep track of it? Most writers can't create this kind of drama. Until the writers' strike is over and some decent television is back I'll remain on Brit watch and I'm not ashamed of it. Not much anyway!

I had a dream last night that I was either insane and my family was humoring me or that Heath Ledger had in fact come back from the dead to be with me.

The reason I say there was a possibility that I was insane (besides the obvious thinking that Heath Ledger would want to be with me) is because whenever I was interacting with my family while Heath was there or while he was in the other room I don't think they ever looked directly at him or talked directly to him. They would talk to me ABOUT him, but that's about it. I think maybe he was my imaginary friend or I was making out with his ghost!

I know, it's crazy! And I'm not sure exactly why this dream manifested last night. I've been thinking about Heath a lot lately for obvious reasons and I do care deeply and feel very sad about his passing. I also read a script yesterday that had a character with an imaginary friend whom he would interact with, but no one could see or hear the friend or see the interactions. I guess that's what dreams are made of, puzzle pieces of life.

The most powerful thing about the dream, that has made me remember it so vividly, is the feeling it gave me. The sense that all Heath needed was to be held, talked to, appreciated maybe? I don't know, it sounds pretty ridiculous. Of course Heath Ledger was appreciated. But maybe he was going through some psychological shit that kept him from recognizing the real love surrounding him. Who knows. All I know is in my dream I was able to provide Heath with the comfort that he needed to help him sleep soundly at night. And because of me he was still with us...

Unless he was my imaginary ghost friend, in that case I could be the one with the psychological problems.

RIP Heath, you will be missed.

Rambo

I had a lovely mid-day movie date with my husband today to see Rambo on it's opening day. I have to admit I am only slightly familiar with the first three Rambo movies. I think I've seen them each all the way through at least once, but I can't be sure. I went to see the new one basically just to give my husband some company, but also I have to say I was curious to see if it could live up to our hopes for an eighties style action and violence fest. Live up it did.

Leave it to Sylvester Stallone to tell the most simple yet entertaining revenge story ever. It's not even personal for Rambo any more. At this point he accepts that he is a killing machine and if there is a good enough cause to set that machine in motion then he is gonna take it. "Live for nothing or die for something." God dammit, he even has a cool catch phrase.

Sly himself is beginning to look like a caricature of himself these days. He is huge and muscled, his lips are big and droopy, his eyes are small and well droopy, and his voice is low and raspy. He is still an action star though, and a pretty damn good director. The film was shot well, the effects were damn realistic, and the story was straight forward and powerful.

And I wasn't lying when I said it was the most violent movie I have ever seen. Let's just say when these bad guys finally get what's coming to them you are so happy about it because of what they've done to hundreds of innocent people that you can accept the multitude of flying body parts. Or at least I did. Seeing the innocents die in such graphic detail brought uncontrollable tears to my eyes and watching the bad guys die brought laughter to my lips and EVERYONE applauded in the end. Okay, so I know that sounds a little psycho, but that was the movie going experience I had today.

Lastly, I have to mention how nice it was to go into a movie with certain expectations and to come out feeling completely fulfilled, satisfied, and excited about what I saw. Who would have thought the movie to accomplish that would be Rambo!

I've officially waited almost 3 full weeks since I arrived here in L.A. to write anything about the experience of getting here and being here. I wish I could say I waited because I have been sooooo incredibly busy with all the new and exciting things to do and see and work on out here, but that would be a lie. The truth is that out of the twenty or so days that I have been here I have only worked six of them and unpacking has not taken up the entire other two weeks.

We've explored Glendale and the surrounding areas a little, but not very much. At least I found the mall, that's important right!? I promise you I will not give in and get a job at the mall. No offense my former Buckle co-workers, you all know I need to work in the industry some how or I will do something very terrible to myself (just kidding.)

We went to Ikea and bought a few things that we needed. The Ikea out here is like six miles away from our apartment... dangerously close. I feel it calling out to me every few days or so, but we are not allowed to go back until we work again. We also did the obligatory Target run to get some of the standard things you need when you move into a new apartment; cleaning supplies, toiletries, lightbulbs, organizers, etc.

There's been a little bit of networking going on, I guess you could say. Mostly it's meeting friends of friends and going out to parties in honor of friends of friends. It's all very indirect and overwhelming, so many new names to learn and try to remember, but so far so good. It is so much fun to meet so many people who are all working in the industry in some way no matter how big or small. And even if they aren't working in the industry they have aspirations to in the future. They are all interesting, creative, passionate, and driven people and it is inspiring to be surrounded by them. As I'm writing this I am hoping that all my friends and family back in Michigan and Illinois don't feel that I am putting them down. I don't want you to think that you haven't inspired me over the years. The fact is you are all very inspirational, but I think when I am with you all it inspires me to want to settle down and start a family and be with you always and we all know I can't do that just yet. If being around all of these career driven, competitive personalities is what it takes to stop my biological clock from ticking and kick me in the ass to get my own career rolling then this is absolutely where I need to be.

The rest of the time I have been spending watching cable television. We have every single channel. It's sick. I keep telling myself to enjoy the time off while I have it because once I start working I will probably be working so hard I'll be dying for this kind of freedom. The first few days were genuinely fun, being lazy can be a blast. But after a while you just start to feel so useless and unproductive... especially when you consider yourself a writer and for some reason you haven't even been able to get yourself to write anything yet. But that is a whole other issue that I will work out in my own time. I can say that I took some time to look through my old scripts, shorts and features, to kind of get an idea of what I have to offer even at this point and what I might want to work on in order to get it to the next level. That felt good. And it was even slightly motivating because I honestly think I am at least somewhat ahead of the game when it comes to what I have accomplished, writing wise, at this point in my life. Now I just need to sell something!

We have two more nights of work coming up this week so that will feel good. It should buy me a few more days of not feeling guilty about sitting on my ass watching television! Next time I write, and I SWEAR it will be soon, I will tell you all about my experience working on the set of Eagle Eye, the new Shia LaBeouf and Billy Bob Thornton film. I'll say right now it is incredibly surreal to go from watching a person (Shia) on TV and in movies and writing about them from such a detached and faraway place and then be standing within 5 feet of them looking at them in person. Very, very strange... and wonderful.