Today I was re-reading and essay by Phil Hine on Mentors.  It made me think back to my old mentor, whom I have had a deep friendship with for years, with several rocky spots along the way.  We've reached that place where our views and practices are so far apart that we hardly talk shop anymore, and we mostly just hang out.  I've been thinking about this, and seriously re-evaluating how much of an impact he has had on my magical path.

I wonder what I would have done differently if I were in his position.  How would I handle a student, or even worse, an apprantice?  At what point do you decide you are ready to take the responsibility of teaching another how to work the magical arts, to the point that you take full personal culpability for his mistakes?

Of course, I obviously have no problems inflicting my opinions upon others, or with answering questions and giving advice to those who ask.  I have already had a few situations where I have given someone a tool or method that provided much-needed help, and in some cases have pointed people in the right direction.  So far, though, it has been just that -- pointing.  I'm not sure if I'm ready to handle the deep, intimate relationship that mentoring a student or taking an apprentice requires.

A while back, I had an old friend come to me and ask for help.  I wasn't sure what I could do, but since he had made a request, I decided to render aid.  I developed a list of requirements and the beginnings of a magical training program that I felt would help him.  He eventually reneged on his request, fading back into obscurity, but I was left with this odd feeling, that on one hand I wasn't sure I wanted that responsibility, but on the other handing feeling confident I could have helped him, and looking forward to the new experience.  How does one deal with that kind of dichotomy?  I certainly amd not the type to advertise for students, especially as I feel that is kind of poor form unless I'm offering instruction in a class setting, and even then I'd prefer to operate word-of-mouth.  The opportunity for an apprentice is a rare one, and again, I'm not sure if I'm far enough along to handle one.

Of course, I'm working on that one.  I've stepped up my own practice with an emphasis on development and "advancement," and we'll see where it takes me.  More importantly, thought, I've been considering what a magical training program should consist of.  Part of this is due to the simpe fact that my own experience lacked a set of expectations of what I was to learn and what my mentor was to teach, and what the nature of our relationship should be.  I feel that such expectations should be made explicit.  In addition, I feel that a grading system is important, and I wish that some sort of standardized or at least correllated system existed, so that a student could have a sense of how far he has come and how far he wants to go, and others could have some measure of confidence in his attainment of such grades.  Could an international Magician's Guild or something similar proove effective?  Would it enable people to more ably find those capable of teaching the things they want to learn?

So I wonder, how good of a teacher would I make?  I guess I'll find out someday ...

Since MySpace now won't let me include non-approved links on my profile, I shall include such links here.  These are some places that you can find me other than on MySpace.

The Tribe
The Witches' Voice
Yahoo

My website will most likely be zonky for a couple of days.  I have upgraded to a hosting package that includes a domain name, so the registration needs to go through and the web pages need to be transferred to the new URL.  If anyone is actually interested enough in my site to read it, and can't find a page for any reason, that is probably why.  An announcement and site update will follow when everything is straightened out.

It rained today.  The clouds built throughout the day, fueled by the scorching heat and pressing humidity that have plagued Eastern Kansas for the past few weeks.  A heavy rain fell, cutting the dense air and releasing the immense pressure in the sky.

I watched the clouds earlier, marvelling at their structure.  Clouds build along fairly predictable lines, with easily recognizable shapes, despite the fact that they don't follow exact patterns.  Like all things in nature, they embody the underlying chaos of the world, only they show it more apparently, fluffing up in a series of fractals that give rise to the pleasant fluffiness we know so well.

Stormclouds show the universe for what it is: a series of mathematical interactions corrupted by probability theory.  No matter how simple the equation, it must first be ground up by the functions of chaos mathematics and infused with the random strangeness that is the essence of life.  It is that quantum indeterminacy, more than anything, that animates the vital qi the permiates creation, which is why aspirations to perfection invariably fantasize about the quiet, sure stillness at the center of creation.  That stillness is the antithesis of all manifest reality, which is perhaps why Lovecraft envisioned it to be inhabited by a mad god.

Thunderstorms have always amazed me for the qualities the show.  All of the elements are present withing a storm, each conflicting yet working with the others as the raw power stored in the air is released.  They act randomly yet predictable, give life yet destroy, rifting through the atmosphere freeing unimaginable amounts of energy.  Truly the wonder they display is nothing more than the unflitered essence of life.

The Witches' Voice has published my essay on Warding the Home.  Anyone who hasn't seen it yet is welcome to do so.  It is odd, though, that they haven't published my essay on banishing rituals, even though I submitted it first.  Perhaps there have been too many essays on that topic?  I welcome any comments on either essay.

I'm fairly shameless about promoting my website, but this time I have more than a few new essays or gloriously consistent fonts.  Taking advantage of one of FreeWebs' new features, I have added a discussion forum to my website.  Anyone who wants to comment on my site, any of the essays featured on it, or ask for and offer general advice is welcome to do so.  I'm not to sure that my site has enough traffic to warrant such an addition, but I decided to go ahead with it anyway.  

So, if anyone is so inclined, feel free to visit my humble forum, or my website in general.  By all means, make use of the "Suggestions" topic and let me know what you think of the format and topic selection.

I pounded out two more essays today.  They are loaded up to my website as of now, although I don't have the rest of the site fully updates just yet.  I submitted one of the essays to Witchvox, but I think I'm going to wait a bit before submitting the other one, and I still haven't decided if I want to submit them to other sites.  If you're interested, take a sneak peek and let me know what you think.

Summer is here, and that means some available time to focus on my writing.  My first offering of the season is a little piece I call "The Color of Self-Esteem," a not so subtle jab at the self-importance of the Indigo Generation, and the New Age movement in general.  I've submitted itto Witches' Voice and Spiral Nature -- let's see if it's too harsh for them, or if it gets published.

I have a few other ideas I want to work on.  I posted a bit about neopagan sexuality on the Pagan Circle message board, and I think I'd like to to expand it into a full essay.   I have an idea about changing images of the divine that should be fun, and I might also do something on shielding and warding, and maybe even on cursing.   We shall see if  I  end up being so prolific.

Irony of ironies, I usually prove myself capable when it comes to interpreting the dreams of others, even if it's someone I don't know too well or if I have little appreciatetion for his or her personal symbilic system.  Sure, I fudge it a lot, but Intuition is a Kind Mistress, and often leads me into the right direction or symbols.  But in kind of a perverse twist on the myth that a magician shouldn't work for himself, I can't seen to interpret my own dreams.

Yes, there obviously was a dream that has gotten me thinking lately.  It wasn't a major affair -- no journeys up the tree of life, or into the underworld, or into battle, or into someone's bed.  It was just me having a casual conversation with someone, the contents of which I don't recall in the least (Okay, there was a part where I was in command of a giant combat mech, but that was a different part).  The significance of the dream was due primarily to the fact that upon waking up, it felt realy important.  So not only was I unable to figure out the significance of the dream, I didn't even have much symbolism to build upon in the first place -- all  Ihad to go on was a vague impression that what was otherwise an insiginificant dream was somehow important.  Intuition is a bit of  Fickle mistress.

So here I am, left with a vague sense of unrest, and no real recourse to turn to.  Tarot doesn't seem to lend itself too well to dream interpretations, and other psychics cost money that I don't have (and couche their readings in New Age Christian language that doesn't make much sense to me -- I mean, that would if I actually gathered to money to go see one ...).  So something important might be comig my way, and I don't know what it is, how to prepare for it, or how it might affect me.  But if someone else had a similar dream, I'm sure I could come up with something.  Intuition is a Harsh Mistress.

Some videos from various sources on the internet.  Enjoy.






AMV Ode to the black mage

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Another tidbit from ChaosMartrix:

Well, when we take over the world, we'll need lawyers to rewrite all the laws, but then the idea of lawyers doing magick is truly frightening. Imagine a conjuration beginning as follows:

"I x.x, henceforth for the purpose of this conjuration to be referred to as the Magician, do hereby conjure you spirit x.x, henceforth to be referred to as the Spirit by the following names of God, as referenced in paragraphs 25-254 of this document."

YIKES!

Credit to Uncle Chuckie, whomever that may be.  Source.

I found this on ChaosMatrix, and thought I would share:

Nick XXXXXX shouted he wanted a ritual, spell, etc. for buffness

What you'll need:

1. an incense of large charcoal briquettes, and a brazier, with a metal grill upon it, in which to burn it.
2. various food items from the four food groups
3. a quiet place to go and perform the ritual
4. Big heavy metal things

Ritual:

• Light the incense, and place above it the various food items. Continue until food is thoughroughly purified. This provides the spiritual energy needed to perform the rest of the ritual.
• Pick up the metal things.
• Put down the metal things.
• Assure yourself that you aren't just doingthis because you're insecure about your penis.
• Repeat a few hundred times.

Repeat this ritual on a fairly regular basis.

Recognition goes to WorryDoll, whomever that may be.

Source

The Gray Dragon had also grown attatchments to worldly things.  His attention wandered to events on the land beneath the Palace of Wind, and he concerned himself with happenings which were not of his domain, or of his clan.  Corruption entered into him, and he became impure.

The Wind Orb rejected the Gray Dragon's right to Mastery, and it caused a Being of Wind to emerge from itself.  If the Gray Dragon was to remain Master, he would face a test.  The Being of Wind confronted the Dragon in the central courtyard of the Palace of Wind, among walls of mica and towers of citrine, and challenged him to battle for the right of Mastery over the Orb.

"The Orb has deemed you unworthy and corrupt, for your concerns are not those of your duty, but of wistfulness for things outside of your domain.  I have been brought forth to test your worth; I shall cast your ruin down and claim Mastery of the Orb for myself, for I shall keep it true!"

The Dragon answered this call to battle.

"Face me then, with your challenge!  I am rightly the Master of Wind, as ordained by the Emmissary to the Celestial Shadow, and you shall not prevail!"

The two beings locked in combat, tearing and rending each other with claw and fang, not having time to gird for battle with proper weapons of war.  But strength of muscle and tenacity could not win the battle, for the Mastery over Wind was in dispute.  The Being of Wind called upon the Orb and summoned a fierce gale, which threatened to blow the Gray Dragon from the Palace's heights.  The Dragon tried to become the Wind and redirect it, but found that within him, there was other than the Power of Wind, for he had become corrupt with the ways and desires of things outside of his domain.  Try as he might to blend with he Wind or move against it, the Dragon's corruption caught the force of the gale, and dragged him ever closer to the ledge.

Knowing his folly, the Gray Dragon did the only thing he could do, casting off that of himself which had been given to affairs outside of his domain, and hence restoring his purity.  Weilding the malleability that the Power of Wind grants, he fashoned this weighty corrption into a net, and set it aloft in the gale, which he turned up and back toward the Being of Wind.  Confident in his victory, the Being of Wind was trapped by the net, which mired him down and caught the force of the Dragon's Gale.  The Being of Wind was driven by the gale into the openness beneath the Palace of Wind, and was thrown forcibly to the ground far below.

The Gray Dragon then descended to the ruin of the Being of Wind, now armed with the vile spear, and smoted his foe with it, pinning his spirit the the ground until it withered up and was no more.  Now knnowing the error of his ways, the Gray Dragon returned to his Palace, rightful Master of Wind, and hoped that his brethren were able to pass the test that he had endured.