I have been questioning a lot of things lately, and one question that continues to pop up is in this broken/decaying world is it really possible to have true happiness? To have your heart filled with incredible joy that is not fleeting? Maybe not....maybe that is what Heaven is supposed to be....the place of ultimate joy and satisfaction.
How many days of heartache and pain and confusion are we humans supposed to have in our lives? Where do you reach that place that you no longer have hurt? Does it really exist?
Is the search for happiness and contentment just in vain? Where does optimism reach its breaking point, and then you accept the painful truth of reality?

Take love for instance....is it really possible to find a mate that fills your heart with pride, laughter, happiness, excitement and a whole plethora of other things AND you inspire those same feelings in them? I just wonder if that is an impossible dream that really does not exist. Sure you may find someone for a short time, but does real lasting lifelong love exist anymore? I see people who have found it....who's heart beats for the other person, but it sure seems to be a mystery.

And then there is the balance of family/work/fun/responsibilities is there a way you truly can balance all of those things? Has our fast paced world made it next to impossible to have the priorities you need to have and do the things you want to do?

I am just beginning to wonder if there is no real way to truly get what you want and do what you want and have your real needs met....maybe, but right now I am still looking.

And you know maybe it is because I am looking rather than waiting for it to come to me....waiting for my Master to show me....guess I just get impatient at times. :-/
How about you? Have you found happiness? Are you fulfilled? Have you reached out and grabbed your dreams?

I was thinking I should blog....you know after all, I did say I was going to try to blog every day...ha!!

However, as I am sitting here at 11:55pm on a Sunday evening absolutely nothing is coming to me....how crazy is that?

I think the biggest thing is I have decided to put down roots, and not where I expected to either. After much thought and deliberation I have decided to just relocate to Lafayette, Indiana rather than Chicago or Indy. Of course my hearts longs to be in NY with all my friends, but the reality of that is not going to happen. The main thing is the natives really like being near their grandparents and that is a very important thing. One of my motivations for moving to a larger metropolitan area in the first place was for them to have more exposure to the world and art and culture and just life in general. Maybe that will come at some point, however, right now I think staying here locally is a very good thing.

I actually have put a bid down on a house (a totally insane house) and now am going through getting the financing approved. It actually pretty much needs nothing done to it....such a different experience than my other two homes. As a matter of fact I was in Home Depot the other day, and I actually had nothing to look at....I have always had things to look at and dream about doing in the past. It is kind of nice to be in this position. I guess the only thing I need/will do is paint, but that is nothing. I am very excited....you all will have to come over and visit. :-)

Ethan turned 2 last weekend and he is the most amazing child ever. I cannot believe I am so blessed to be his mommy. You know I think both of my children are incredible....they are such treasures!

I am eating a lot of barbeque these days, and it is rather tasty. My new friend Kurt owns a BBQ business, and it has been fun getting to know more about how his business works and the 'science' of smokin meat. I know that may sound odd, but it truly is very fascinating.

Lauren has informed me that she wants a dog for her birthday. So now I am researching the best one.....my new house has a fenced in backyard so that is nice. My neighbors have a Bichon......I never said I would have a toy dog, but it is nice to possibly have a dog that does not shed. Plus Ethan thinks Toby is the GREATEST thing ever.....will have to think about that one. :-/


Well blog buddies I hope you are all well....till next time!

I had a very interesting experience yesterday for many reasons. The first was that I was live on a nationally syndicated television morning program, Mornings with Mike and Juliete (mandjshow.com), and the second was my eyes were more fully open to the 'realities' of the media.

I was supposed to be interviewed about Second Life and Virtual Worlds and even the Electric Sheep Company, and it turned out being all about sex in Second Life and even on their website they make it all sensational...."M&J reveal what no parent can afford to miss!"

The oddest thing to me is prior to the interview I was prepped by our PR rep and then talked to the producer of the show for over an hour on the phone. We all seemed to be on the same page, however, when I got to the studio yesterday morning the producer was like we are not going to talk about business just the social side of things, and I would like for you to mention this particular story (my PR rep said best to not mention that). Being that this was my first time of really being interviewed I felt compelled to go along with what the producer wanted, and the hosts even prompted me to tell this story on a few occasions. It is just interesting how much of an agenda they actually have.

I mean I obviously knew that was how it was, but it was interesting to see it first hand.


Anyways, I guess you live and learn. I must not have done too poorly of a job because I am going to be interviewed again this week (for an Australian newspaper). Sadly this will just be a phone interview. :-P

If you would like to watch the whole segment from yesterday, you can go to my good friend Jeremy Vaught's blog.....http://jeremyvaught.com/blog


I would love to hear what you think. :-)