How I don't know how to sing,
I can barely play this thing,
But you never seem to mind,
And you tell me to fuck off,
When I need somebody to,
How you make me laugh so hard,
How whole years refuse to stay,
Where we told them to back off,
Locked up blindly in a word,
Or a misplaced souvenier,
How the past chews on your shoes,
And these memories lick my ear.

I know,
You might roll your eyes at this,
But I'm so
Glad that you exist.

How we waste our prescious time,
Marching in the picket lines,
That surround those striking hearts,
And the time is never now,
And we know who we should love,
But we're never certain how.

I know,
You might roll your eyes at this,
But I'm so
Glad that you exist.

SAM ANDIM AI J LIKE TO HAN G OIUJT AND THEN WE GO T OT HEN T MALL ATNCX GET WIDGLY IN THE CHARIS FANNY, I LOVE IJNM A WHEN WSAM COMES AONVER AND WTHEN WEFV POKMRN CUZ WOINED DAY WEF AWERE ABNANBGIN OUT AND THNB E NEIGHETB EROYS WHER LIKE WH N TYOIUDNB' YOU J8SUT BE NORMAL ,A N D IU WAS L ALI  LIKE WHY YHSDOIN'T YOU JSURT  SHIUT YOUA4 MOU8TH BITHC AND TASS SO THAWEN  WE CANQ ORASPE YOUF BABPYPOIJNMES WE LI KE YTO BE DFRUNK AND FUNCK ALL THE JKMOTHERS IN O AEYHT STREAT.  ANMD TJHEN WE B EATY6 UP THE BPALICNJ EYDRF POVPEAL SOUC THEY ARE FOR BGHAYS.  AND ALSU F JUST SERRFSD DON'TSEDF LIKE THWI WHEN BPERDOKME ALRE TUSOIUJND PAND GAY. 

 

 

ok, this one's a bit hard to read, so why don't i translate it.

sam and i like to hang out and then we went to the mall and got wiggly in the chairs. fanny.  i love it when sam comes over and then we pork.  cuz one day we were hanging out and then the neighbors why don't you just be normal fart.  and i was all like why don't you just shut your mouth bitch and ass so then we can rape your babies.  we like to be drunk and fuck all the mothers in the street.  and then we beat up the black eyed peas cuz they are for gays.  and also jesus doesn't like it when people are stupid and gay.

 

YAY IU WEINEIN AND I' AM DINOI TYHEP;B EST

 

THAT'S THOP UYENDJH POOIUJBUOOGODY7HBL BEBYE

Alright, it's almost three in the morning and I am bored. So, this is what I plan on doing. I'm going to give you a quick lesson on one of the best rappers of all time. His name is mc chris. This man, chris ward, has graduated college, and now i believe he works at williams street, known best for [adult swim]. There is another side to him though, his rapping side. He started rapping as the nerdiest rapper I've ever heard. Here are some of the lyrics off of his first album, "Life's a Bitch and I'm Her Pimp" dq blizzard yer rapper:he's whack , does he even try? can he do what mine do? think you should say buh-bye. get up on the mic like a five on a fifty. quickly avoid the hickeys of the bucktoothed bitties. fake timberlake just to be by britney. smoke that pipe with witney, shoot that blow with iggy. l.i.b, n.y.c and all places in between, you could call me a man cuz I make the green. i make the scene. i make believe that you all was naked, so i wouldn't have to fake it, just copy and paste it, like adobe photoshop, red foreman in robocop, i get up on the mic and you know i won't fuckin stop. it's like the props of carrot top, or yellow stains in my socks. you acting like you hip? yer all hepped up on hopps. so just do the body rock, cuz the beat just be so bumpin,. let's get our groove on before our carriage is a pumpkin, before they outlaw fuckin, not bad for a drunken munchkin. my name is mc chris welcome to my lyric luncheon. word up, word up, word up, word up and you know. chrous name's mc, my band's the lee majors put us on the bill, and boy ya hit paydirt when i'm on the mike, girlies wanna flizzirt but i tell'm chill like a dq blizzard half corn beef and cabbage, half fred savage. the better than average rapper with the have to have it habit. heir apperants on my carrot like they was jessica rabbit, like fake wood paneling on the side of stationwagons. fraggle rock on the box, fruit loops on my chin, wonderin if I'm ever really gonna fit in, or be a son of a bitch with a gut and some tits or a roaming casanova with my dick in a (censored.) I'll be back in a bit, I gotta floss my johnson, make that cream for the state wisconsin. you say all of my shit is complete nonsense, broke my cd and the shitty ass contents. bullshit, my shit's the bomb. siamese twins want menage a trois. robot bitches want their backs massaged. they may not be real but them tits is large. (damn) word up, word up, word up, word up and you know. chorus fettes vette Cruisin' mos espa in my delorian war's over I'm a peacetime mandalorian my story has stumped star wars historians deep in deabte buffet plate at bennigans rhyme renegade sure to penetrate first and second defense I won't hesitate got a job to do and darth's the guy that delegates got something against skywalker someone he really hates I don't give a fuck I'm after Solo For all I care he could be hiding at yoda's dojo Gotta make the money credit's no good When the jawas run the shop in your neighborhood Think you can cook I got a grappling hook Let's make this quick cuz I'm really booked I'm a devious degenerate, defender of the devil Shut down all the trash compactor's on the detention level chorus My backpack's got jets I'm boba the fett I bounty hunt for jaba hut To finance my vette wiggy wiggy wiggy I chill in deep space A mask is over my face I deliver the prize but I still narrow my eyes Cuz my time I don't like to waste. Get down I'm a question wrapped inside an enigma Get inside the slave one find your homing signal From endor to hoth, ripley to spock I'll find what you want, but there's gonna be a cost Say my name is boba fett I know my shit is tight Start not acting in right, you're frozen in carbonite Got telescopic sight, flame throwers on my wrist You still don't get the gist, spiked boots are made to kick Targets are made to hit, you think I give a shit Yer mama is a bitch, I see you in the sarlaac pit You just flipped my switch integrity been dissed You scratchin on my itch you know I shoot the gift Got bambinas at cantinas waitin to lick my lusty lips So I'll let you get back inside you're little space ship Give you a head start, cuz I'm the sportin' kind Consider the starting line the sneaky smile I hide inside Hope you have hyper drive, pray to stay alive Don't try to slip me a five cuz I never take a bribe To the beat of a different drummer, bad ass bounty hunter Let no man put asunder or else they be put under As in six feet, got an imperial fleet Backin me up gonna blow up any attempt to defeat They gotta death star, got four payments on my car Hand it over to hammer head at mos eisley bar He used to carjack, now he's a barback Just goes to show how you can get back on the right track As for me that's not an option can't say that with more clarity Me going legit would be jar jar in speech therapy chorus Slice you open like a tauntan, faster than the autobahn Or a motorbike in tron, do the deed and then I'm gone Jabba has a hissyfit, contact calrissian Over a colt, the plan unfolds, no politic is legit Back in the day when I was a slave Living live in the fast lane like in a pod race My mean streak tweeked I became a basket case So this space ace split that place poste haste Took up a noble cause called the clone wars Cuz life's not all about girls and cars Getting fucked up in fucked up bars See I'm not a retard or gay like de barge I'm large and in charge with a face so scarred A cold black heart that's been torn apart The sith wish that they had a dick so hard Cuz it's long long ago in a pussy far far Call me master cuz I'm faster than pryor on fire I no longer have to hot wire I'm a hunter for hire with no plans to retire And all the sucka mc's can call me sire Chorus (slowed) k, you're still with me, impressive. Next chris would release an album called knowing is half the hassle. This was a big step up from his first album, first off, he fixed alot of the sound mixing problems he had in the first one. Also, he didn't put as many skits in it. meaning there was more rap than other crap. But still, there was other crap, here's some examples: Ten Year Old what’s my name? mc. and what do I do? rap. md’s screaming need 50 cc’s of mc stat. er staff be freakin’ like mariah on the rag. mc chris squeezin’ contents out of tiny plastic bags. it’s like hypnotizin’ eyes and gettin’ digits on the pad. legs seperate like hyphens because mc’s still the mack. identify the items by the bar code on the tag. identify the rapper cuz he’s knee deep in the vag. I got my glocks cocked, I got my nine’s primed, I got my crosshairs locked on kelly lebrock’s behind, I got my lungs locked on chemotherapy kind, I got more rhyme than shel silverstein and shakespeare combined. chorus I sound like a ten year old or so I’ve been told, but you don’t need a voice that’s low to make the microphone gold. other’s claim that they be midas but they got laryngitis, so whyn‘cha kick it with the mc with the voice that’s the highest. so come on. what’s my name? mc. and what do I do? rock. I’m intimidating jocks and inseminating socks, I’m infiltrating flocks of fembots, high off that hemlock, mud wrestling bittie buttocks like ox. let’s knock chucks cuz we can’t afford boots. let’s get high aka pull tubes. don’t ask why, just let it all loose, watch this mike get abused, watch me change your attitude. call me gavin, I’m the captain of this carnival cruise. kathie lee lets me rub my dick on her boobs. seems tweens in cleavage jeans is many a man’s muse, all mc needs is just a bucket of booze. watch me, blow a load on your butt tattoo, watch me, come back for seconds like it’s chinese food. no one can hear you scream, cuz it’s a soundproof room. I’m done, get the fuck out, send in number two! repeat chorus what’s my name? mc. and what do I do? roll. I’m all up in that shit like it’s fuckin camel toe. olsen twins on my dick like it’s a stripper pole. if you’re hooked on the shit, my middle name is methadone. so, let’s do this quick so no one will ever know. mc nice got more ice than a fuckin’ eskimo. he’s not whack nickleback singing songs for michelobe. jigga man, why you treat me like animal? at the mall, at the park, rollerink, backyard, soft hearted bard who makes the hardcore hard. I weigh a buck fiddy, stand 5.5, and when I muff dive, you see the fuckin fur fly. don’t own a celly, my sneakers is my ride, been disgraced, demoted, I been denied. all my fan mail says someday that I’ll get signed. mc chris, lower case, no dots, rewind. repeat chorus White Kids love Hip Hop white kids love hip hop and disc jocks, go-carts and fist fights, getting drunk on bud then getting high like a pitch pipe. are you an mc chris type; a hip hop lovin’ half pint? then just turn on your heartlight. a bunsen burner barfly. this is our time blast it from the boombox, liberate the goondocks, saw your cousin in a tube top, bust a nugget in a tube sock. it’s tupac, it’s big pop, it’s hip hop, it don’t stop. cuz I love that song, I love that groove. motherfucker, I can’t help but move. so if you don’t mind, if it’s alright with you I’m gonna get in the electric slide line just to prove that: chorus – white kids love hip hop x3 white kids love hip hop and axel, tractors and rambo, playing unreal tournament with infinite ammo. taggers and vandals in black socks and sandals, doin as many drugs as they can motherfuckin’ handle. skippin’ school, breakin’ rules and flippin the bird, fast food cartoons after ittin’ some erb. freakin dem flirts, making’m pur till it hurts, just a couple nerds clockin’ the curbs, a couple a words about my nilla wiggas, packin peters that are measured in milimeters. we don’t talk in the theaters like we’re siskel and ebert. we drink box wine and we listen to weezer. chorus repeat Wow, still stickin through it? Impressive. You might be able to become as big of a fan as I am. Here we go, mc's newest and best album, no skits, and much better written. Take a look. mc chris Ownz mc chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he doesn't tour, so in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes I spell word with a three Name's MC Other rappers flow weak Like window unit AC's Latins on my penis Japanese on they knees I love all the ladies As long as they eighteen I got bling up the ying A plethora of Porsches I'll say anything 'Cause my mouth is remorseless Even the source says My hip hop's a vortex Leave horseheads on doorsteps My mic checks cost Corvettes The strobe light explodes white As I step on the floor The barkeep knows the code So he throws me a Stroh's Weak MC's decompose 'Cause they know I can flow Like wessel comma zam Through corruscant corridors Humidors filled with stoges Filled with dro Like Nine-Oh-Two-One-Oh Is filled with the word bro Fuck the lexicon of octagons I'm all about go These amateurs got catheders I'm all about pro's MC Chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he doesn't tour, so in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes I'm lit like a branch davidian Or what's left of the lithium In Cobain's cranium I fill Wimbly Stadium Once bitten, twice shy Call it pyromania When I roll up in Kashyyk I roll three Jedi's The fleet of peeps that I creep All got vest's underneath There's no need to believe In the heat that I keep Or the swears that I *bleep* Of the heiresses I freak It's embarrising to me I'm like kerosene it seems Or D-R-E-W B with incendiary schemes Blowin' up, makin' cream I am just like Howard Dean When I scream I get red I get mean Can't believe you be buying What I be shucking and jiving Fuck it if I am the next big thing With promotional tie-ins I am just cartoon making rapper You think I'm lying Everybody bust a move Like it is that rave in Zion My self aggradizing and deprecation Keeps 'em guessing Call my venus flytrap 'Cause my DJ's Howard Hessman Word 'em up, yo Word 'em up, yo I just let the rap game Out of a choke hold MC Chris ownz I wanna go to an MC Chris show But he doesn't tour, so in the meantime I'm gonna memorize all of his rhymes Evergreen on the first day of xmas my dealer gave to me a bag of shrooms and some lsd we snuck into the park to steal some xmas trees but the cops pulled up and asked us nicely to leave we're all fucked up on smirnoff eggnogg we crunch on candy canes and rev up all our chainsaws you give us 30 and we'll tie it up at no extra cost we'll take that 30 and spend it on pot we're not too bright we flunk all of our classes get in fights gettin drunk cuz we're bad kids our dads call us bastards mom's always plastered we're the closest thing to suburban gangstas cold air's what we breathe our vests have no sleeves it's hard to haul trees in subzero degrees we smell like evergreens all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that's free of disease and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees know yer daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay even though my nose is runny get the honey's cuz I'm money but I never get laid can't find my way into long undies I don't trip, just dip, listen to country with my piss I write my name because I think it's funny I'm so into this deciduous lifestyle you see dead tree and I see a cash cow I never bargain and I never back down put the back seat down and I take yer ass to tree town yer daughter's givin me the eye so I am givin her a ride I'll put up the tree myself and put up all the lights as long as I get all up in her tights all I want for xmas is my two front teeth and some mistletoe all up in this piece maybe a girl that's free of disease and while I'm thinking, throw in a couple of g's yeah I want my snowmobile treads to be fixed I want a ho who doesn't mind my snowsuit doesn't fit I'm just a hayseed selling trees to break trees know yer daddy hates me it's drivin ya crazay You've made it to the end, congrats, that's pretty awesome. As you can see, he started off way geeky, but by his last album he has become a real rapper with more nerdy pop-culture references. I was quite impressed, but chris wouldn't be mc if he didn't have his nerdy songs. So, for the finale of this blog I bring you, carebear carebear You're cute as a care bear I don't even care where You tell me to be You know I'm gonna be there Know I'm gonna repair Your broken heart, I swear Cross my own on a dare Al Capone love affair Got style extraordinaire Prepare for the rare MC Devil may care With the bev hi hair I will be fair No more sad solitaire I'll go to work like Dirk And save you from your Dragon's Lair You can't compare Well, ain't life a bitch A daily kick in the dick If I had a dime for everytime You know that I'd be rich What makes it worth while Is your beautiful smile I can't conceive the life I'd lead If you would leave then I would die MC Chris will appear from the rear With headphones on his ears And a head full of tears Because his girly is not near And he fears she be on A pimp's stick shifting gears Another bitch ass trick That's a ho after some beers Should I say amaretto sour If I see ya drinkin' PBR You're mine within the hour You can be my woman Wanda I will be your Doogie Howser We'll play doctor Take a shower I'll go outside, pick you a flower Write you a haiku Say that I love you I can't afford a box of chocolates So yo, here's a yoo-hoo The voo-doo that you do Is something I'm not used to But I won't decline 'cause in time I'll be true blue Well, ain't life a bitch A daily kick in the dick If I had a dime for everytime You know that I'd be rich What makes it worth while Is your beautiful smile I can't conceive the life I'd lead If you would leave then I would die

I WAS AOUT LWATEEIRNG MY LAWEN TODAY AND THIS BITHC WAS LAAL LIKE WHBY DON'T YOU WATER MY CAT AND I WAS LIKE WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TAHWER CAT WATEIRNG SERVICE GOOD DOGD BITCH WHATN DON'T YOU JUST COG OUT AND STEP IN FROM ONF A GADDAMED TRUCK AOR SOMETHING CUZ I THINK YOU SCUKM LIIKE A BIT WEINGER. AND THEN SHE SLL STAREED TO CRAY AND I WAS LIKE WOHY DON'T YOU KNOWCK THAT KINDAZ SHITAZ OFF OR I'LO BPUNCH THIS BABY. AND THIEN THIS CKID DORPPEX A FORK AND PI PUNKTED HIM ACROSS THE SWHOL E FOOTBALL FEITLD. AND THEN SOMEBODY SNEEZED SO I LIT THE WHOLD GOD DAMED TOWN ON FIRE AND IT WAS SWEET CUZ THEN JESUS AND I LIT OUR CIGARETTES ON THE FLAMES, AND HE SAID THIS IS GOOD.

Not many of you will remember this movie, but Eric and I got talking about it last night, and it's super amazing. With all the little critters riding around in the hot air balloon. Man, that kicks ass. So today I watched the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy, for the second time. I really like the movie, there was alot left out from the books, but it would be hard for the movies to do exactally what the books did. That's cuz not many people want to go see a movie where they are just confused for two hours straight. Well, I'm going to leave it at that, cuz i gotta go back to work in about half an hour, and I haven't showered yet. I feel so dirty

Ha ha, sucka! You have been chosen! Tonight at midnight your true love will realize they like you. something good will happen to you at 1:00-4:00 pm tommorow, it could be anywhere. Get ready for the biggest shock in your life. if you break this chain u will be cursed with relationship problems for the next 10yrs. Do Not Reply..... Repost this

K SO THIS DAY THAT IS NOT TODAY BUT MORE YESTERDAY WAS COOL, I WAS ALL HANGIN OUT AND THEN NICK WAS ALL YOU ARED THE DOAWG, ABND I WAS ALL OMG THANKS AND THEN WE KICKED IT AND IT GOT HURT OH AND THEN THIS PERSON CALLED ME ON THIS PHONE THAT WASN'T MINE AND GOT MAD AT ME FOR BEING COOL AND I WAS ALL STEP OFF BITCH AND THEN SHE FELL DOWN AND I GOT THIS CANDY AND TI WAS SUPER TASTY LIKE THAT MOVIE TURMANATOR HAS TO BE LIKE MY FARVORITE OF ALL TIME CUZ SCHOWELAJENEGGER IS JUST SO COOL WITH SUNGLASSES LIKE MEIN K WELL I WILL TELL YOU MORE TOMORROW