THIS IS A SORT OF POEM. TAKE NO OFFENSE PUSS-IN-BOOTS! ITS NOT DIRECTED TO ANY SHITBABIES OUT THERE. ITS JUST THE WAY I FEEL AT THE MOMENT. YES?

Stuck between what's true and best
This is how I end up with the greatest
Torn apart
Broken heart
Just standing here with a smile on my face
Looking at strangers feeling out of place
And then out of the blue
I'm headed to crash into you
And they say you're not right
Like darkness at the end of the light
I'm just smitten
I'm just bitten
And this is so pathetic I'm miserable at best
A lifelong dream of failing each test
How do I do this? I'm a natural they say
I attract the insane even the gay
I just stand here and look pretty
Pathetic and witty
Lost and delirious
Obscure and oblivious
This is ridiculous
How to find the perfect one
Your head, a bullet and the perfect gun
And no matter what I do
Lies are lies never true
I always get the perfect guys
Live long enough and then the loves dies
And they say one day I'll get saved
Maybe that day will come when I'm lying in my grave

-I think pink is a funny color. Like, it actually cracks me up!

-I sleep with the fan on, even if its 20 degrees outside.

-Left foot in left shoe first. Always!

-I actually name objects I own. My car is named Ocean, my PS3 is named Luke, my laptop (R.I.P.) was named Blue... Etc.

-I read Dan Brown books.

-im one of those people who yell at inanimate objects if they don't work right.

-I have roadrage.

-My I.Q. Went from 137 to 153. But I feel like I'm getting dumber by the second.

-I'm a vegetarian.

-I have 15 piercing, 5 of which I did NOT do myself.

-I have OCD tendencies.

-I don't like Katy Perry.

-I sleep with a stuffed penguin named Monty next to me while I hug a skelanimal named Mikey.

-I actually hate driving.

-I once went 4.5 days without eating anything.

-And 2.5 days without sleep.

-I have a sombrero.

-Im like a goldfish. I forget things almost instantly.

-I nearly set my car on fire.

-I don't like asparagus very much.

-I like artichoke and peppercini on my pizza.

-I'm lactose intolerant. I found out the hard way, at work at the beginning of my shift.

-Orange Juice is my crack.

-I always misplace my eyeglasses. Always.

-My room looks like a 12 year old and a hippie decorated it.

-My mum is the only person allowed to call me Hunny.

-According to my mum, I was made in Germany, born in Philippines and raised in Australia.

-I may sometimes sound like it, but I am not Australian.

-And I will NOT say "crikey".

I guess I'll never know. There are things that you want, things that you thought you would never ever want, not in a million years. Its like someone flips a switch and bam! You're having a panic attack in the middle of an empty field of dreams. Everything you disliked, everything you loathed became the only reason you want to wake up and live everyday.
You make reasons, you make excuses, find ways to avoid it. But its no good. Your running out of reasons, running out of excuses. You will have to live the rest of your life being the hypocrite you thought you'd never be.
But because of certain circumstances... You'll never have those things. You'll never know what it feels like to be a practicing hypocrite. You'll want, you'll need, you'll watch... From afar. As the one thing you used to hate, become the one thing you truly love.

A list of actual announcements that London Tube train drivers have made to their passengers...

1) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologize for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."

2) "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from E & B syndrome: not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further information as soon as I'm given any."

3) "Do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. The bad news is that there is a point’s failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means we probably won't reach our destination."

4) "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now.... 'Ten green bottles, hanging on a wall.....'."

5) "We are now traveling through Baker Street ... As you can see, Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that"..

6) "Beggars are operating on this train. Please do NOT encourage these professional beggars. If you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity. Failing that, give it to me."

7) During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentleman... unfortunately, towels are not provided.."

8) "Let the passengers off the train FIRST!" (Pause .) "Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like sardines, see if I care - I'm going home...."

9) "Please allow the doors to close. Try not to confuse this with ' Please hold the doors open.' The two are distinct and separate instructions."

10) "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean throw yourself or your bags into the doors."

11) "We can't move off because some idiot has their hand stuck in the door."

12) "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage - what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand?"

13) "Please move all baggage away from the doors." (Pause..) "Please move ALL belongings away from the doors." (Pause...) "This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train: Put the pie down, Four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your arse sideways!"

14) "May I remind all passengers that there is strictly no smoking allowed on any part of the Underground. However, if you are smoking a joint, it's only fair that you pass it round the rest of the carriage."

Things I fucking hate (Thanks to Nigel from dA for this awesome idea)


* People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


* People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.


* When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?


* When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do People do this? Who and where are they?


* When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.


* People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?


* When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.


* When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?


* When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here,Knobhead?


* People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?


* When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No, it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.


* People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.


* McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you unless you insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering.....It's has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

Beer. Water. Beer. Pepsi. Some more beer. An orange. Beer. A box of Pocky. A little more beer.

Hey, at least when the zombies get me, I'd be to shitfaced to notice!

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Important Things with Demetri Martin	Wed 10:30pm / 9:30c
Preview - Games - Some Jokes About Games
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Joke of the Day Stand-Up Comedy Free Online Games

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Important Things with Demetri Martin	Wed 10:30pm / 9:30c
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http://icanhascheezburger.com

lolcats and funny pictures

So far, I did OK in the circulatory and microbiology section.
The rest, basically shit. :)
It's ok. I won't be taking it until the next 5-6 years anyway. Hopefully by then I would know the difference between A and U... Whatever the hell that means. :D

Here, is a list of different shit in the MCAT. And I have to master these subjects or my dreams of  Med school and making zombies will be a thing of the past. :)

(Medical College Admission Test)

Biochemistry

Circulation

Electricity

Atomic Physics

Elements

Energy

Gases

Gastrointestinal

General Science 1

General Science 2

General Science 3

Gross Anatomy

Integumentary

Lymphatic System

Microbiology

Motion Analysis

Nervous System

Neuroanatomy

Nuclear Physics

Nutrition

Optics

Organic Chemistry 1

Organic Chemistry 2

Physiology

Pressure Chemistry

Reactions

Reading

Reading Main Idea

Reproduction

Respiration

Urinary System

Vocabulary 1

Vocabulary 2

Waves