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Frank Beaton

Frank Beaton


Last Updated: 11/24/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 33
Sign: Gemini

City: Portland
State: OREGON
Country: US
Signup Date: 1/15/2005

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Blog Archive
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Wednesday, February 06, 2008 
Plot synopsis for M. Night Shyamalan's new movie THE HAPPENING:

... a paranormal thriller in which a family must survive a global environmental crisis. The film will portray the earth's plants unleashing airborne neurotoxins that cause only people living in the US to commit violent suicide. Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel star as an estranged couple who must escape this apocalyptic epidemic.

That's right, sports fans. PLANTS HAVE HAD ENOUGH is now the premise of a major motion picture.

Matt, consider yourself vindicated.
6:50 AM 
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007 
I want to know if setting up a profile is a waste of my time or not.
11:10 PM 
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Wednesday, September 05, 2007 
has been taken down.

I thank all of you for your concern.  Steps are being taken and that's all I'm going to say about it right now.  I'll let you all know if anything important happens.

Thanks again.  Seriously, you guys are awesome.
5:25 PM 
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Wednesday, August 29, 2007 
Via Ivan:

8:21 AM 
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Thursday, July 05, 2007 

Have some pancakes.

(Not sure if the embed tag is working properly, so here's the direct link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f31PLcCXD0U)

9:32 PM 
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Thursday, June 14, 2007 
[Cross-posted from my blog.]

Is it my sincere regret to inform all of you that Jill and I will not be attending Comic-Con International in San Diego next month.  It will be the first time we've missed the show in eight years.

A nasty combination of medical bills, tax bills, automo-bills, and sporadic unemployment have left us both feeling a bit like Job this year, only without all that shepherding money to fall back on.  As Paulie said on the SOPRANOS finale, "You can take 2007 and give it back to the Indians."

Anyway, after crunching some numbers we determined that even if we cut the trip short we couldn't possibly make it without plunging ourselves even further into debt.  Which is too bad.  There are a lot of people we wanted to hang out with, personally and professionally -- but whattayagonnado, right?

See you next year.

(P.S., If anyone still needs a room, we have a reservation at the Westin Downtown (formerly the Wyndham Emerald Plaza) for 7/25-7/30.  Single king.  If you're interested, get in touch with me or Jill and we'll get it transferred to you.)
1:43 AM 
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Monday, April 09, 2007 

Category: Religion and Philosophy
9:09 PM 
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Thursday, February 15, 2007 
12:36 AM 
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Thursday, January 25, 2007 

Category: School, College, Greek
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. No repeat songs
7. No cheating and doctoring your list to make yourself look cooler than the person
you took this from, you selfish bastard.


*Opening Credits:
"Bombs Over Baghdad" - OutKast  (A good start to anything, in my opinion.)

*First Day At School:
"Shoot the Singer" - Pavement  (The first line is, "Someone took in these pants."  And my mother did in fact take in my pants on my first day of school!  Amazing!)

*Falling In Love:
"Nowhere Fast" - The Smiths  (Too true, too true...)

*Breaking Up:
"Carbon" - Tori Amos  (I don't know this one off the top of my head, but since it's Tori I'm going to assume it's world-weary and kind of disjointed.  So, yeah.  That works.)

*Prom:
"Zoot Suit Riot" - Cherry Poppin' Daddies (Aw man, my prom would've ROCKED if CPD was there!  Poodle skirts, dudes throwing chicks over their shoulders...  It would have been like how proms are in movies!  You know, like, NOT shitty?)

*Sex scene:
"Hit" - the Sugarcubes  ("This wasn't supposed to happen..."  Tell me about it!)

*Life's Ok:
"Furry" - 100-Watt Smile (Jaunty enough song.  Works)

*Mental Breakdown:
"We Are Underused" - Pavement  (Apparently Pavement is *overused* in this list!  See what I did there?)

*Driving:
"Jackson" - The Detroit Cobras  (That is an excellent driving song, in all seriousness.)

*Flashback:
"Evil" - Ladytron  (Great song.  Not evocative in the least.)

*Getting Back Together:
"Rent" - Pet Shop Boys  (HA!)

*Birth of Child:
"603" - Lali Puna  (Apparently my child will be a cold, cold robot.  Why am I surprised?)

*Wedding Scene:
"Time" - Tom Waits (Well, THAT's a little depressing.  And, hey, anyone else notice that the wedding part came AFTER the childbirth part?  Poor little bastard robot...)

*Final Battle:
"Little Bird" - The White Stripes  (Awhahuh?)

*Death Scene:
"Refrain" - Eleni Mandell  (Aww...  Hey, I think that means a non-violent death!  Hooray!)

*Funeral Scene:
"Funky Boss" - Beastie Boys  (Played on the bagpipes!)

*End Credits:
"Close to Me" - The Cure  ("I wish I'd stayed asleep today..."  Yep, that about sums it up.)
7:43 PM 
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Friday, December 01, 2006 
Being the True Friend that I am, I feel it's only proper to respond in kind when someone I know posts something embarrassing about his or her genitals.  So...

Ahem.

Gentlemen.  If the temperature outside is below freezing, do not forget to zip up your fly before going out for a smoke.

Trust me on this one.
 
11:45 AM 
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