its takin me a long time
long time
long time
its taking me a long time
a real long

they tell me i'm a bitch
but i like it that way
i use to be a girlie girl
they never use to stay
its generation bitchy girl
so baby get in line
cus all the mean girls
in the world
are setting up the crime
the boys aren't like the gentleman
the once use to be
they yell and moan
and scream at phones
they even lie to me
but now that i'm a bitchy gal
i never shed a tear
cus its the generation bitch
and bitch is even queer

imma bitch
imma bitch
and just a little of a witch
imma bitch
imma bitch
so please don't waste your wish
imma bitch
imma bitch
it's a self proclaimed life
imma bitch
imma bitch
but it's better than a wife

i use to smile at boys
and would cry at every threat
i use to bat my eyes
but its something i regret
i gave my heart to every sigh
i use to play the game
i told them that i loved them
i know its sounds so lame
i was sweet, i wore pink
i had ringlets, i would wink
i had stars in my eyes
i would never ever lie
i took orders and was pleased
and would never ever tease
i would give into the man
who would call me his woman


imma bitch
imma bitch
and just a little of a witch
imma bitch
imma bitch
so please don't waste your wish
imma bitch
imma bitch
it's a self proclaimed life
imma bitch
imma bitch
but it's better than a wife

see girls are just so wack today
they're never satisfied
they have to find another man
and it usually is mine
you have to stand up for your right
to put a bitch in line
and tell the bitchy bitchy girl
to write your own rhyme

your a bitch
your a bitch
and just a little snitch
your a bitch
your a bitch
you'll never get your wish
your a bitch
your a bitch
just a bitch without a doubt
your a bitch
your a bitch
so i'll have to knock you out

------------------------------

little rhyme rap a doodle i wrote on an article i read on women born during the 1980s and 1990s. It said that most of us grew up wanting everything and getting everything so we always think we are right. It also said this attitude has bred a lot of Mean Girls and Queen Bees and most of our generation of women tear other women apart to get some type of self assurance out of it. It said that Bitch was now such a regular term to describe the bitch you hate or the bitch you praise and then they had all these examples of bitches in the media and how they are praised for the drama they cause. It said how a lot of those women are bad examples for us everyday chicas because most famous "bitches" never have to face the real consequences of being a bitch and us gals have a lot of drama to deal with if we end up shooting fire at the wrong bitch....which these days, every gal is the wrong bitch....


so is this girl power or are women de-powering themselves and others. we are we the worst at judging and tearing other girls down, steeling boyfriends and not feeling bad for the mess we've made, ruining each other's reputation which it said was a new big common thing with communication being so easy via myspace and such. being hypocritical and judging a girl for having to be a bitch and then being a major bitch to them. are we making the bitch?

i know for myself, i was saved a lot of bitch drama growing up because i was an only child. the only "bitch" i had to deal with was my catholic nun teachers and my mom. then i got a little older and got a sister who like to humiliate me in front of my new step brothers - a disrespect i never seemed to shake from them even once she was gone. then i went to middle school were i discovered some really jealous and mean girls. i was still naive at this time and would shake off any suspicious behavior with a smile, probably why i was named the "innocent." i mean, i had girls constantly trying to kiss and whatever with my boyfriend and some of them succeeded and i would just go home cry it out and then return the next day best friends with these girls until i finally actually got my heart hurt and i never looked back from that day on. i was a less of a bitch because i tended to just ignore all people in general after but if someone wanted confrontation i was never afraid to give it anymore. i remember my brother takin me trick or treating one year when i was probably in 7th ot 8th grade and him asking me what had happened to his sweet little sister.....and it was probably some crazy insecure bitch that happened to me....like i was bitten with the disease of hate in me like the movie 28 Days Later.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i miss not being a bitch and always having to keep my guard up. what happened to letting people be and walk their own paths. everytime i think i find a friend, i find i'm actually secretly being judged by every move i make. where is the support in girls? why all the jealousy? why all the hate? wasn't trust so much fun in another girl and actually having a true best friend because i feel like every friend i get seems to get worse....less trust...less bond..

i want to spread love and trust again. im tired of being this crazy bitch inside because it isn't me. i miss the daydreamer in me. the poet in me. the lover in me. the hippie girl in me.

i know some one is probably judging all of this right now but maybe try to not...and see what happens...if you just accept someone and their ideas...

is that still possible?

    last chance for romance like ny subways from a far off land. it's prettier in paradise but you've got more of a chance to fly high with this brand. i miss the smiles like sunshine in a car thats driving too fast like careless chocolate and rainbow brite signals floating in my hair. frusturating melting moments in a city thats too hot, i find that the moments are what you make them and the city doesn't change. america has a crate and barrel at every mall and a starbucks on every street so everyplace will feel like home and there's nothing new to eat. i give away my soul to every boy with dark stars in his eyes and a guitar in his hands but not even music boys seem to understand. neptunes shadows cover me like a film noir lost in the vault of movie magic cinemas. oh, how the sun seems to burn these days and i'm blinded by the rays. i'm a shadower boxer girl and i pretend to know what you mean but listening is harder than seeing and seeing is what i mean. yes, darling, it seems to me it is my last chance for romance and i've seem to messed it up again. shaky hands and an unbalanced breakfast mind lost in the land before time with no one to call mine. i give it again and again and again but bonds do break weakly and seem to run thin. music electic running through my veins. i'll give it my all and i'll take back my reins....and it rains - and it rains and it rains and it rains.

get outta my head
get outta my life
get outta my head
get out tonight

negativity like a plague in you
i was so stupid to ever see the truth in you
you make trees fall
your unnatural call
the sound of your voice
makes soldiers crawl
destroyed yourself and almost me
how could you think we could ever be

get outta my head
get outta my life
get outta my head
get out tonight

sensitivity in me grew weak
but not i'm not afraid to speak
my mind, my truth were always more
than the victims you grew
in your garden of weeds and chaos
you knew your poison would kill
so you had your last fill
and you lost what you could never hold still

because i won't be kept silent
and your secret isn't safe with me
because they may think they know you
but i've seen what you can really be
there is no growth in someone who can't remember
-who refuses to remember-
their true destiny
and i won't be a victim of your secrecy

psychotic, explosive, vicious and cruel!!
no one can stay with a demon for fuel!!!
psychotic, explosive, vicious and cruel!!
no one can stay with a demon for fuel!!!

get outta my head
get outta my life
get outta my head
get out tonight

replace your tears
lose your soul
to the puppeteer
she'll make you whole
she'll give you strings
that look like wings
and you'll never dream
of love to hold

and i think of you

 

Ice falls
and i am reminded
of harsh winters
a simple melody
that took over our hearts
makes me think of the city
snow angels
cold hands and one coat
sacrifices in the rain
tormenting pain
sickness and depression
regression
lack of confessions
the things i loved
i things i hated
subway rides
italian men with accordians
greenwich
the light in the piazza
tired eyes pale skin tired heart
hold me tighter
don't let go

mostly don't let go
and rescue me
from myself.

ice falls.

i want to be the girl with the starry eyes
tears like bright starry nights
cry b'c the feeling is so beautiful
i just can't explain

i want to be the girl who is never let down
frowns disappear like animated clouds
smile for a lifetime with a swell in my heart
i just can't explain

no i wish i could explain exactly what i feel
why i feel true love is real
why kisses are like merging souls
but to be romantic you'll pay a toll
they tell me that everyday
can't believe the things some people say

well i'm a girl with frowns when i lose the stars
i prefer the moon & night, it hides the scars
prisms shine thru the tears i flow
chakra colored pain is all i know
see im a girl who listens to sad songs until the tears roll down
and i don't know why i feel so comfortable in the misery b'c
i let myself drown
but i try
i try
i try
to smile with style
but some people are comfortable with their cries for a while

i like to day dream in the snow
white castles and unicorns is what i know
piscean dreamers i guess will never learn
i just can't explain

i just know it burns
with every yearn
it burns
it burns
and i know it wasn't my turn

-kristiana-

ive been there thru the depths and beyond
but i'm back again and this is my song
ive been hurt deep and i've cried an ocean
lost in the motions of my emotions
my love was my floatation
but i drown in my desperation
but im stronger than that
no i take it back
i'm better that that
better than consummation
i stand up and fight for my generation
that lives in a nation of haterations
you gotta fight for your strength
and then you'll go the lengths
it takes to not break
it's not a mistake
but your the one
and you create
you make your fate
don't hide cus it's okay to cry
but whatever you do,
arrive with pride

-kristiana-