The Ashes in my stomach,
Ghosts of a fire that once consumed my heart in the heat of passion, choke me.

Equilibrium off balance, all that was is no more, and all that I never knew is all too familiar.

My memories leave me breathless, as if I am drowning in a cold sea of regret.

Tossing and turning in agony, living a nightmare from which I just cannot awaken.

Who knew that fire would leave me cold,

That breathing would suffocate me,

That what I saw was blinding me,

That life was killing me,

And that something would give me nothing.

What makes me "alive"? Is it the fact that my heart pumps the blood through my veins? Why does that matter when I have not a reason to live, for it is love that defined me.

White turns to black and night fades to day,

Left turns to the right and downward leads up.

Welcome to my life, where pain becomes numbness and happiness feels like an unfamiliar high.

Where I face my fears every morning I wake up, and I battle my demons every time I see a mirror.

My own reflection is a stranger, the soul that once dwelled within me now lives only in my written word. 

My condolences to all who have lost themselves, for I have felt your pain, rest in peace.

I am that burning, the meaning to life,

I am the chill that rushes down your spine,

I am the reason that life feels too short,

And I am the rhythm, the beat of your heart.

I am that punch that leaves you breathless,

I am the cut that bleeds you dry,

I am the reason for all your regrets,

And I am the salt on your wounds.

I am love.

Savor the silence

and savor the peace,

Half past the hour

they'll be flooding the streets.

Pity them but hate them,

They have doomed us all,

Destroyed all resistance,

Heard their masters call.

Paralyzed those running,

And gagged the ones who speak,

Cut the tongues of rebels,

Whom truth they chose to seek.

Mount Zion will not save you,

The Messiah has not come,

Cut free from all deception,

Or bow down, broken, numb.

Boldly breaking bonds of trust,

Your blanket of lies unfold and suffocate me.

I've reached a point of recognition,

I see you as clearly as I see myself in the mirror,

But my reflection does not smile,

No, I cry when I lie to myself.

I've done so a thousand times.

He loves me, he loves me not.

He loves me, he loves me not,

Until the flower is bare and dead to me, I hate it.

To and fro my mind totters,

A part of me lost every time,

A self destructive path that tastes to fucking sweet,

couldn't give it up I was addicted.

Let me tell you love, the withdrawal was bitter.

Everyone has a breaking point,

And I myself have fallen, shattered and scattered.

I can't be bothered to pick up the useless pieces of my spirit,

And I'm running out of time as they are fading like dying stars,

Going down silently without a struggle.

Who will remember them or mourn their loss?

What are we left with when we gave our all to someone who is gone?

Heart and soul departed, we are empty, brittle and lost.