I was but a young tyke when I last played the clarinet.  But I found this amusing.  Maybe I woulda stuck with it if I had a clarinet like this?

"Reminiscent of a pirate’s flintlock, this little beauty is a sure-fire hit for all defenders of decent music. Never a foul note with the eliminator!"

The Kenny G Eliminator
http://80gritart.com/blaster.htm

Remember, don’t leave your iPod on the dashboard unless you’re SURE that nobody is gonna steal it.

I guess they really don’t have to worry about someone breaking into the space shuttle.  Parking at the ISS isn’t exactly the same as parking in Newark...

http://spaceflight.nasa.gov/gallery/images/shuttle/sts-123/html/iss016e032312.html

It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight.

It's time to put on makeup
It's time to dress up right
It's time to raise the curtain on the Muppet Show tonight.

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show

And now let's get things started
Why don't you get things started
It's time to get things started
On the most sensational inspirational celebrational Muppetational
This is what we call the Muppet Show

I don't go out to very many movies, 'cuz I'm a brooding, dark loner (yeah, what-EVAH!).  But in the past couple weeks, I've filled my quota for the year.  I guess maybe I'd see more movies if I took more vacations?  I'll have to test this hypothesis.

Here's a collection of my disjointed thoughts:

Cloverfield
In Chicago with James

Apparently we were among the last people to see this one, 'cuz the theater was EMPTY when we got there.  And by the time the movie started, there were only a couple dozen people watching.  I guess I tend to be on the trailing edge of the bell curve for these things...

(Photo of James all by his lonesome)

The concept of the movie was pretty good, recording a local party in the City, when all of a sudden - something starts happening!  But somehow the plot just gets a little too unbelievable.  But, hey, what do I know.  After all, it is a city of 8 million stories.  And just 'cuz MY life is so boring, doesn't mean that theirs has to be, too.

How can the critter be so... INDESTRUCTIBLE?  That just ain't right.  Ah, but wait, I forget, in fiction, anything is possible.  Call me a skeptic.

But still, the story is pretty well written and filmed, and you can't help but be drawn in to these characters' lives, and feel for them.  Especially 'cuz you know they're gonna DIE!  (screamed in best Axl Rose voice - "You're in the jungle, baby!")

What?  It's a monster movie!  SOMEbody has to die.

PS.  This is why I don't want to move to New York.  I mean, besides it being too expensive.  It's always being attacked by monsters, aliens, supervillains, terrorists, giant gorillas, mobsters and/or murderers, pigeons, etc.  Too much drama for me.  Oh, but I do so love that New York cheesecake!  And pizza!  And...

Lee's rating: 2.5 stars

www.cloverfieldmovie.com

www.imdb.com/title/tt1060277/

Jumper
In Chicago with James

Hayden Christensen plays David Rice, a young man with a talent that lets him leap through the fabric of space.  Must be some leftover midi-chlorians from those *other* movies that he did.  Darn medical conditions.  I've seen some ads for a lawyer who can get him the settlement he deserves...

Um, anyway...  Back to the movie.

So, it's a neat concept, being able to hurl yourself anywhere that you might possibly want to go.  And yes, it is a little farfetched.  But not so much as that little plot twist.  What a cruel twist of fate!  Why did momma have to leave, anyway?  It's just not fair.

It was a fun action flick.  Makes me want to travel.  And yet, it also reminded me that I hate airports.

Huh?  What?  We were talking about a movie?  Oh, yeah.  Uh, I guess it was okay.  I'm gonna go back to daydreaming about new places that I can't afford to visit.

Lee's rating: 2 stars

www.jumperthemovie.com

www.imdb.com/title/tt0489099/

Hard Candy
In Indy with Shann & Brendan

Okay, I had never heard of this one, and would never have picked it.  But Shann & Brendan, well, they're um...  ...special.  And they rented this movie, so I got to see it.

You know that young girl from the movie 'Juno'?  You see her in interviews and she seems all quiet, polite and demure.

Well, if you see this movie that she did back in '05, you'll get a different impression of her.  Quite a piece of acting.

She plays the role of a teenage girl who is contacted by a potential predator.  And she finally meets him.  And goes back to his house.  Oh, no!  Don't go there!

But that's when the plot zigs.  Suddenly, the prey becomes the predator.  Oh, and what the devious little beast this predator is.  I'll leave it at this: the story gets to be twisted, painful and gruesome.  Makes me long for a nice, bland, predictable romantic comedy.

Lee's rating: Eeek! 1.5 star (for damn creepy acting)
(You can come out now, boys)

www.hardcandymovie.com

www.imdb.com/title/tt0424136/

Spiderwick Chronicles
In Indy with Shann & Brendan

Okay, so despite all the fairies, ogres and other fantastical critters, this one was REALLY believable.  But only because Nick Nolte played a monster.

Well, it was entertaining, and fantastic and neato.  It was also a bit predictable.  But it's a kids' movie, and I guess I'm still kinda immature (whaddaya mean, kinda? you say).  So it was fun.

That is all.

Lee's rating: 2 stars

www.spiderwickchronicles.com

www.imdb.com/title/tt0416236/

The Alps
In Boston at the Museum of Science Omni Imax with Jill

Seeing movies under an Imax dome is always an experience.  The view is so immersive, that you feel like you're completely surrounded by the movie.  ...Which can be good - or sometimes a little disorienting.

The Alps is one of the Imax-specific films from the renowned MacGillivray Freeman Films, and it is an amazing experience.  The story tells a bit about the geology and history of the Alps, and it follows the story of a mountain climber with a history in the area.

The story is somewhat inspiring, but as is the way with movies of this type, the scenery is stunning.

I found myself wondering at times, though, what the story is behind the actual *filming* of the movie, rather than the plot and scenery of the movie.  Sort of like when I'm watching the camerawork instead of the football game.

The Alps is an Imax destination film, worth seeing if you happen to be near one of these theaters.

PS.  Thanks Jill!

Lee's rating: 2.5 stars

www.alpsfilm.com/en/frame.cfm

www.imdb.com/title/tt0972356/

Okay, so that's all for now from the uh, balcony.  I'll see some more movies next year, after you've all seen them already, and tell you again what you already know.

Meanwhile, I'll try to catch up on stuff I haven't seen (and, as you probably know, that's a lot of stuff...).  Kudos to James for the copies of 300 and the complete Babylon 5.  I owe ya one, bro!

Until then, cheers!
Lee

Blog - www.lee-toma.com
Website - www.lee-toma.net

Okay.  More midwestern wackiness...

I had heard legend of the gargantuan picnic basket building, so I had to see it for myself.

For some reason, a lot of women are really into baskets.  And I mean REALLY into baskets.  I don't really understand this stuff.  It's like shoes, only not nearly so useful.

Anyway, Longaberger seems to have a cult-like following.  I think it is because they broadcast marketing waves from their giant headquarters, located in Newark Ohio, east of Columbus.  See, the basket handles are actually antennas that send out the subliminal marketing waves.  I think they are tuned only to women, 'cause I felt no basket-related compulsions when I was there.

Apparently they even have a museum there.  Or is it just a gift shop?

As you can see from my blog headline, I couldn't help but wonder what Yogi Bear would say if he could see this, the eighth wonder of the world?

The requisite photos follow:

More info online:
http://www.longaberger.com/longabergerTours.aspx

Happy travels,
Lee

Yet another oddball destination in the midwest...

Located in Dublin Ohio (near Columbus), is this field of giant concrete corn.

Not exactly a must-see, unless you are tired of driving and a little off-kilter.  Like me.  But it is amusing.

"Not too bad.  Could use a little more butter."

Hmmm...  This field was only a few miles away from where KT went to school.  I wonder why she never told me about this oddity?

More info:
Dublin Arts Council:  http://www.dublinarts.org/onview/publicart.html
The Center For Land Use Interpretation:  http://ludb.clui.org/ex/i/OH1784/
Wikipedia entry for Dublin:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dublin,_Ohio

Happy travels,
Lee

Just when you think you've seen it all, there's always another wacky little hole-in-the-wall place that ya just gotta check out.

In this case, it was an exercise in really bad clichés...

So, on my way from James' place in New York state to Chicago, we just had to go to Hell (cliché 1).  Hell, Michigan, that is...

As you can see, Hell had frozen over (cliché 2).  I was shivering.  I really don't know why my breath didn't show up in the photo.

So this board was pretty corny.  The other one was just a little too, uh, gay.

Naturally, they have air conditioners in Hell:

James pointed out that there actually was a snowball's chance in Hell (cliché 3):

James: "My parents always said I'd end up here eventually."

And this was me freezing my @$$ - uh, fingers, off in Hell:

Here it is okay to tell your spouse to go to Hell:

And finally, we got kicked out of Hell.  It was closing for the night.  I guess it's just as well.  We didn't want to lose our hotel reservation in Chicago.

So that is the story of my trip to Hell and back.  Well, actually, the 'and back' part will follow soon.

Happy travels,
Lee

Blog - www.lee-toma.com
Website - www.lee-toma.net

Ya know, I try not to let the darn TV rule my life, but I have a weakness for a handful of shows.  'Lost' is one of them.  I try to follow it when it airs, as I have since it first came out.  Yet sometimes life gets in the way.  I guess I should be glad for that?

But I am getting a little aggravated.  This is THREE weeks in a row that I've missed my favorite show.

Two weeks ago, I was on the first leg of my vacation, heading to James' house near Binghamton.  James, I love ya like a brother, man, but I was getting all antsy knowing that 'Lost' was on and I wasn't watching it.

And then last week I was visiting Shann and Brendan in Indy.  Same thing again.  No, not the whole 'brother' thing...  I mean I was getting upset about missing my TV addiction.  Ah, well.  People are more important than a TV show, right?

So finally this week rolls around and I'm back home after my 3000 mile road trip vacation.  Except this Thursday I went out for a business dinner.  A pretty darn nice one, too.  And I missed 'Lost'.  AGAIN.

So now I'm three weeks behind, and I gotta dig up the files on my computer to catch up.  Thank goodness for VCRs.  I mean DVRs.

It'll take me a while to catch up.  I still have other stuff to do, like two weeks of laundry, some cleaning, etc.  But I'm still craving my fix of 'Lost', and I'm gonna get my hit soon.

Please.  No spoilers, okay?  Thanks.

Later,
Lee

PS - Vacation pix are coming soon...