7/22/07
BEARDED MEN
"I'd say whatever the population of Jamaica is." – Joe

"Let's make the first Jamaican snow alligator." – Travis

"Yes I know. And last night I slept with you while you were sleeping." – Joe

"Why do we keep interviewing inanimate objects?" – Joe

"I'll give you, like, a hug." – Travis

"I'm really at a point in my life where I don't need a kid." – Travis

"Well golly, I've never seen a tumbleweed with eyes and a mouth before" – Travis

"I just grew legs" – Joe

"Well guess what. You're not going to have a first born." – Hoe

"Oh, the church is thanking us." – Travis


TOTAL BULLSHIT

"Children, science and drugs. Awesome." – Butch

"You could hold both of them in one hand." – Butch

"We're injecting your children with caffeine" – Butch

"Just to give everyone hope, I was born prematurely." – Mike

"It's a girl! Wait, it's a boy! No, it's a girl! And I was like, 'Will you f@$^ quit it??'" – Butch

"She's in her mid fifties…and she's clearly pregnant." – Butch

"If you took a blacklight, that room would be all white." – Dan

"You just gotta pray harder" – Mike

"All the Hooters executive, big surprise, have Hooters girlfriends." – Mike

"It went from corporate meeting to Hot Shots in Burnsville like that." – Butch

"In my mind, that's what a hooker does to you." – Mike
"Hey buddy, feel pretty good, don't you?" – Mike

"Okay. You know you were a mistake, right?" – Butch

"He's starting to hear stories from my friends because he's at that age where they think it's funny." – Butch


SCRAPPY MOOSE
"Son. Let's nip this in the bud. There is no God." – Dutch

"If there was a God, He would let me break up with you." – Sean

"You got a face like a chewed rubber boot…see you the next time Nickelback plays." – Dutch

"Do you understand what my nipples feel like? No." – Sam

"I did! Didn't you feel it? I stabbed your shoulder." – Kelly

"It's not my fault. My mother ate a lot of bees while I was in her womb." – Sam

"We're trying to start a hive!" – Kelly



"My brains are all over the vestibule for God's sake." – John

"Your dog didn't listen to you when you were alive, what makes you think he'll listen to you when you're dead?" – Peter

"I've invited you to a land of no war and no pain." – Peter
"We're going to Canada?" – Dutch

"Can we get pancakes?" – John
"Can we get health insurance?" – Dutch

"They're not gonna move! None of their clothes! They're not gonna move!" – Ellen

"What's up, Wayzata?" – Sean

"Own it! Live it! Love it! Bend over try to lick it!" – Sean

"We had some good times on your lap." – Sam

"Why did momma leave, pop?" – Sam
"Your grades were bad." – Peter


SFU
"You shoved vase into my brain!" – Barry

"AH! AH! AH! AH!" – Taj

"You have the keys on your hip!" – Jason
"I also have honor. We've been over this." – Barry

"Sunlight? That's the number one renewable resource." – Brandon

"There's the batmobile, the bat bike, and those are all bats. Don't touch the bats." – Jason

"Like stuffed animals that are alive and stuffed with organs instead of plush." – Barry

"Butler! Come buttle!" – Barry

"Awight, Dolphin man." – Taj

"Your. Voice. Is. No. Longer. In. Its. Box." – Taj

"Body? It's me! It's voice! How've you been? Open up! Here I come!" – Barry

"I really didn't think that a man would step in it. I thought a bear would." – Taj

"I got speared! In my side! Through organs! That I need!" – Barry



AT THE GREEN MILL
"If you go late enough and know the right people, you get a lot of free pie." – Travis

not the 5th anniversary of ZINGS of course, but the IAGG 5 year show.
this only barely captures how weird and funny the night was.

BRAVE NEW WORKSHOP
"The microfilm's in the third cigar. You never saw me." - Mike

"Shouldnta had the thin mints, I guess, mister." - Joe

"You were always a devious bastard but you are environmentally conscious." - Caleb

"Would the lady like some wine with her torture?" - Mike

"Collagen, b*tch!" - Lauren

"This is what happens when you don't pass the presidential fitness test!" - Caleb, holding his son underwater until the bubbles stop.

"Twist it one more time, now we can make eye contact" - Josh

"You look pretty up there, like a little marble princess made out of human." - Joe

"I scored sooooo low on my aptitude test" - Mike

"..then you realize, holy sh*t, it's a ninja with a bag of plugged in toasters." - Caleb

"That depends. Did the dragon lay an egg that burst Bernard Shaw?" - Mike

"People might ask you what the scepter's for. What are you going to tell them?" - Lauren


SURVIVORS OF THE UNDEAD PLAGUE
"How ironic, I was sterile and he was adopted." - Troy

"Seeing a man shot in the business has given me a new perspective on life" - Hannah

"Don't worry, I saw a Mythbusters on this, it's not going to hit us." - Troy

"We were going to fire bullets off Mt. Everest for fun." - Damian

"I've been thinking; since I'm adopted I'd like my name to be Asterisk" - Damian

"That's not going to work, there's an ocean." - Hannah

"That is like a cow talking backwards!" - Hannah

"Look! I need to tell you something! I f*cking hate that guy," - Troy

"I know we're not havin' a jello party." - Damian

"Robby and Shakiro. That's my name. I'm just making up a theme song about us as we go." - Troy

"Technically yeah. Well? What's the right answer? No." - Hannah


FERRARI-MCSPEEDY
"My parents just put me on the porch and pushed me in a direction." - Mike

"Is there punctuation?" - Joe
"Period" - Mike
"Noooooooo!" - Joe

"If I could have a little kid shot into my veins so every thirty seconds I felt a kid in my heard, I would." - Mike

"Here's your per diem. It is not for weed, it is for Burger King and other necessities." - Mike

"I'm so awone." - Joe

"I'm made of straw and I'm kind of a witch but I'm also half of Yogi Berra." - Mike

"I just want to point out, how many pantries are in the f*cking backyard?" - Mike

"My parents are being chased by a one man eye and Mr. Hairy Pants and my best friend just got eaten by a...(dissolves into laughter)" - Joe

"Did somebody tell you this is Knotts Berry Farm?" - Mike

"What's your favorite book? I'll read it to you while you die." - Mike



FIVE MAN JOB
"Everyone's working so hard, they're like whehuwheuwheu and it gets to Lil Kim's part and she's like Uh! Uh! Uh! and I thought, 'Now there's a woman.'" - Lauren

"All right pandas! Dinner time! Here's some leaves. There you go, you cute little bastards, write your novel." - Lauren

"Sh*t, I don't dance for anybody but I'll dance for an orange." - Dan

"I'm a person, you're a person, let's join together like paper rings in kindergarten. Join ourselves in thrifty celebration." - Lauren

"That's not going to do anything but make her stupid." - Butch

"I don't give a sh*t, you're ruining this Fringe Festival." - Butch

"I'm so close to God up here. Close enough to smell God's breath! Hey God, no garlic!" - Lauren

"Send it back. Bring me something that might kill me." - Butch
"Give me something that might kill a man." - Dan
"Blowfish" - Lauren
"Eat it fast while it's still blowfishy." - Dan

"Hey now I'm dancin', gimme an orange!" - Dan

"A little panda on panda?" - Butch

STRAIGHT AS A PROTRACTOR
"Thanks I bought it at the farmer's market, it's made out of goat fat" – Andy

"You ask me these questions when my uterus is falling out!" – Hannah

"Don't make me grab it, you don't know where my hands have been" - Caitlin

"I have a horse and a frickin plow and I made do with it" - somebody

RESIST BUTCH
"Shit, Dick!" - Butch

SIR LAFFS A LOT
"Yeah, but they're paralized for life so they'll remember you" - Dan

"You aren't as good at bowling as you think you are, but your friends cheer for you because they feel bad that your parents got divorced, gimme a dollar" - Levi

"Pidgeons aren't real!" - Dan

"He reads poetry to them. Birds don't know about poetry." - Dan
"If you don't expose them to it!" - Levi

"That's fascinating! I mean, I see Chinese babies all over the place and I think 'where did they start?'" - Levi

"Yeah, Magnum. I don't fit in'em all the way, it's kinda like a windsock" - Dan

FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE
"You're not the king of flavor" - Brant

"We cut her hair, we dye it black, lose the breasts" - Nick

"You don't have to wear a wire if you don't want to, we can just keep letting drugs destroy our neighborhood." - Sass

"This tail is not to scale at all. It is comically larger than it needs to be." - Sass

"The canyon's gotta go, Sal. Either the canyon goes or I go." - Nick

"I'm not eating snakes! I'm eating pinecones!" - Brant

"Listen, I know where you're headed, I know where you're headed. Squeak squeak!" - Jason

"Hey kiosk lady, do you know where I can buy some backwards hats?" - Jason

"Son, I think you just hit your first junkie...If you hit a junkie that's sort of like a freebie." - Nick

3/18/2007 ZINGS!

FMJ

"Dear Sir or Possibly Someone Mid-Transgender Surgery:" - Butch

"Damn, I just came out of a bar to kick some ass, what the?" - Dan

"I'm not being taken seriously at the aquarium" - Lauren

"[Fish] have three seconds of memory. They don't understand set up and punchline." - Butch

"This is Kurt Russell. This call may be monitored for quality assurance and to ensure your Kurt Russell experience" - Butch

"I didn't want to have to kill a priest today, but I guess that's where we're at." - Butch

"What the @#$ are you guys doing in my cave?" - Lauren


FINGERGUN

"Screw you! And screw the Sears Tower!" - Mike

"You can't do it, you got rickity hand!" - Dan

"You boys want some tickets? All you have to do is promise friendship unto me for life, but I'll warn you: I get a lot of bloody noses in public." - Joe

"You know, sometimes cats look like battleships. In the South Pacific I was facing certain death. There were three zeros coming at us. Luckily Admiral Nimitz was there with his cat boat." - Fred

"You're gonna get killed by 4 Carol Burnetts." - Mike

"Let's kill somebody else!" - Dan
"Not it" - Mike
"Not it" - Fred
"Aw, @#$%" - Dan

"Quit blowin' and start rollin'! Cigarettes! Cigarettes and condoms for sale!" - Mike

"AH! The movie Contact just played really fast in my head!" - Mike

"Team A took all the dingies! One of them are in each dingy! I said, 'that's not right!'"


FAMILY VON TRAPP

"No, damn you, turtle, I want my daughter back." - Dan

"One lifetime of pitching tents and all I get is five cents." - Katie

"Ring shoulda been mine, gimpy!" - Andy

"Was that your name in French Class?" - Katie
"Yes, I tried to get Noelle, but it was a girl's name" - Andy

"Pumpkin, show me my car in the parking lot." - Dan

"When I get rid of me cancer I would like a lolly." - Katie

"Don't believe the white girl, Mufasa!" - Andy

"Every good submarine captain has a peg leg and you just got to deal with it." - Katie

"Was he better than me?" - Andy
(Pause) "Different" - Laura

"What the hell is a rouse?" - Katie
"Kinda like a foible." - Dan



"I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at myself for trusting you." - Dan

special thanks to the IAGG's official ZING reporter, Jill Bernard.
If you'd like to keep up on the ZINGS just subscribe to the blog.
rad.




SURVIVORS OF THE UNDEAD PLAGUE
"Yeah, take a seat, jive with me. You want a Reese's Cup?" – Troy
"I've had three different step-dads abuse me in different ways, this @#$% is trivial, ok?" – Hannah

"Your baby might be dead. But that's kind of why I'm going. I think seeing a zombie baby might be really cool." – Troy

"I'll carry you on my back as far as I can." – Troy
"But I weigh twice as much as you." – Tim
"All right. Stay safe." – Troy

"Let's do it. You guys are stupid but I don't want you to die." – Damian

"I feel like it's going to end badly! She's a trucker! Have you seen Pee Wee's Big Adventure?" – Tim

"I'm going to make us some stew in the play kitchen. It'll just be apple juice with some dirty crabapples in it." - Hannah

"What kind of gun is that?" – Troy
"It's a bullet one." – Hannah

"Just because I can't find a gavel doesn't mean we can't discuss stuff." – Damian

"I guess now I'm on some guy named Hot Rod's @#% list and there ain't nothin' I can do about it." – Troy

FIVE MAN JOB
"My friend watches McGyver a lot. He's like Jesus, he makes stuff happen." – Dan

"I'm a poor excuse of a man." – Dan
"I'm Rebecca" – Lauren

"I'm good now, I've got a pocketful of warm DNA" – Butch

"I could get a diaphragm…I could make it myself from plaster of paris" – Dan

"Look, you dragged me out of Reno 911 for this?" – Dan

"You just met him and he touched my D" – Lauren

"PEOPLE OF THE HILLS!! I've exchanged our hills for this bag of Jazm" – Lauren


GREASY GRIMY GOPHER GUTS

"Here's a mouse! Eat it!" – Machmoud

"Damn superglue got my brains!" – Ozi

"I don't do bald well." – Stephanie

"I like Burger Kings that sell liquor" – Machmoud

"Hey! So! Which one of you's gonna have our baby?" – Samantha

"Pick her! She's got better birthing hips!" – Stephanie

"Jeremy! That's not the test! Are you just trying to cop a feel?" – Samantha

"I'm gonna raise from the dead some snakes I saw earlier" – Ozi

"Did you do the hibbity hibbity with my husband?" – Samantha

"Oh, it's the lonely chick. Let's point at her and laugh." – Machmoud


MIME RIFLE
"No, we're going to @#$ Lutzen! Lutzen!" – Andy

"Every year you take me to Lutzen and I break something. This year? I'm breaking the cycle." – Fred

"Dude! I think I might be the most extreme guy ever!" – John
"I'll say Uncle Leon. And for bein' Amish, that's extra special" – Dutch

"I always thought John Bungert would make a great state name, like Evil Knevil" – Dutch
"No. No it really doesn't." - John [Bungert]

"No slackin' on the stackin', come on" – John

"That's some fancy tappin', Steven." – John
"Well, I'm going to start a techno band." – Andy

"It'll be okay, they've got a cel phone and a dog." – Dutch

"Muh me muh mwah muh mwah" – Rob

"Please! Send help! My leg is broken and I ate the other girl!" – Andy

"Oh my god, it's almost a miracle!" – Dutch
"Be my legs, dog, be my legs." – Fred

MUSTACHE RANGERS

"If meaning it were a planet, it would be Jupiter" – Corey

"I've begun to not say words right when my upper lip is hairy" – Aric

"Computer, eat his boxed lunch. Punishment is swift and harsh." – Aric

"All I see is carrots" – Corey

"When are you going to start your silence?" – Aric
"Now" – Corey
"Like now now?"
"Well, pretty close to now." – Corey

"Can you please go to the band-aid compartment? – Aric

"I thought I was recording, but apparently I landed the ship" – Corey

"I cannot think of a reason to go back to the ship except to shower. Shower!" – Corey

"It's like this is the planet of things we packed for vacation but you always forget that one thing" – Aric

"Nazis giving flowers to children! They learned their lesson" – Aric

"The tongues of tiny donkeys can only do so much." – Aric

"Lady! Give us your fat!" – Corey

SEX AND AGRESSION

"She self-actualized herself in front of you?" – Lauren
"Well, all over me, actually" – Butch

"You're like that rock at the Prudential Building, so imposing! It's like, 'You want to bank here?' and you're like, 'No, I want to die here!'" – Lauren

"Does it say liquor and attention store on the front?" No!" – Butch

"Mmmm, tangerine and ipecac!" – Lauren

"Bugs Bunny? Are you going to dress up in a skirt and try to seduce me to save your life?" – Lauren

"Fate of the Universe shit" – Butch

"Don't worry, it happens to a lot of old women." – Butch

"Are you going to bleed a chicken next? Because that's how much sense you're making." – Lauren


PHANTASMANAUTS

"I just had a baby the other day. It was about yay big and I can't seem to find the damn thing" – Chris

"The cops/Come and steal my props" – John

"I just want to eat some Wheaties and smile at a camera!" – Matt

"A lot of people don't know that you can get an eyeball out with just a spoon" – John

"The baby you're looking for? We found it." – Chris
"Why are you crying?" – Matt
"It's the ugliest baby I've ever seen." – Chris

"I don't know what it is, but I'm feeling a little bit creamy. I don't mean creamy, I mean crazy" – Laura

"Punch me! And it pops right out." – Laura

"The SS Mustache waits for no one" – John

"You're clearly touching me, that's, you know, way to go" – Ellen

"I have moved on, and you're kind of humping my leg. That's weird" – Ellen

"That's the swarthiest man I've ever seen" – Matt
"Ayyyyyy" - John

FIVE MAN JOB
"This is awkward" .. Butch
"Awkward or well thought out?" - Lauren

"The camera doesn't lie" - Butch
"I'd like to think this one's fibbing a little" - Dan

"Ansel Adams wouldn't take your picture unless you were a desert." - Butch

"He writes horse poetry. I don't understand it, but he reads it and cries" - Dan

"No one can sit through the farm report! Not even farmers!" - Dan

"I'm a shell! I'm an empty shell! Except I can't sit in anyone's living room like real war paraphanalia" - Lauren
"Don't say that Grandpa, that's all you do." - Butch

"They didn't have foyers in the South Pacific?" - Butch
"Hell no. We just had forbidden love." - Lauren

"We're not going to watch Dirty Dancing. That does not count as a movie." - Dan

"I can tell when you're ovulating, it's that clunking sound." - Butch

"Order in the court! Order in the Horse Court!" - Lauren

FERRARI-McSPEEDY
"My prom is in the past and I'm still bleeding" - Joe

"Mom - you' ve been different since Rick the Truck Driver left." - Mike

"Ahh! Ahh! I'm so near a candle!" - Mike

"With luck and a little help you could come back to the flock. Granted the flock will have to slow down and walk a little slower and explain things over and over." - Mike

"You know! You know if you were to have a baby there's an 80% chance it would be a fish with a gun!" - Mike

"Joe! Joe! I think we were tricked into doing a smutty dirty scene!" - Mike

"I'm trying to kill myself with electrolytes." - Joe

"No, you're just gonna sweat different colors." - Mike

"You ain't nothin but Pele to me! You ain't nothin but Pele to me!" - Mike

"You were chosen by Gail. She bit you and sent you to sky heaven. It's getting convoluded but just think about it." - Mike


MR. FISTICUFFS
"Use the company pistol" - Brandon

"This isn't, this is Deep Throat...The while rabbit! Deeeeeep Throaaaaat!" - Jason

"Welcome to Wonderland, can I take your coat?" - Jason

"You go to his house and make computer sounds. He'll likely fall into your trap." - Brandon

"You've defiled her motherboard, you bastard!" - Brandon

"So you shot him in the head" - Brandon
"I made a witty remark as I did it." - Jason

"I may be dying but I'm..." - Brandon


STRAIGHT RAZORS
"We're not going to be working for Anderson Box Company, we're going to be working for the Anderson Templeton Box Company" - Nick

"What's a theater? I've never been to one." - Chris

"You've just got to find someone who likes mangled legs" - Chris

"Is that what I am to you? A penguin? A penguin in a blender?" - Chris

"Geraspo!" - Chris
"Yeah, Jefferton" - Nick
"These medieval times have been tough." - Chris
"Yeah I got all kinds of boils everywhere and I don't even mind." -Nick

"You got my number, lady" - Chris
"Yeah I got it, I got it, and I'm not callin' it" - Nick

"You spelled Prince wrong" - Nick
"It's silent" - Chris

"Maybe you shouldn't try to pick up parking lot attendents" - Nick
"Maybe you shouldn't have fallen from the sky, angel." - Chris

"Ehhh my geesh, I shudnatve kidnapped this chiiiild" - Nick

"My parents were circus theives. They steal circuses." - Chris

FINGERGUN
"What are you saying, moon, you can't enjoy a beverage?" - Mike

"You say you're ready to care for the old lady, huh? Well I'm not going to make it easy for you." - Fred

"I hate that you were an Olympian..and I hate that you have a narrator." - Joe

"I bet you wish you had your asthma thingy." - Dan

"Boy, that'd be a good sequel to Breakin' II" - Dan

"God I'm so excited! If only this were based on Middle Earth!" - Mike


SUPERJERK
"I say, are you looking for polo?" - Chris

"I don't think Western Concepts of ownership belong in the rainforest" - Chris

"Squeeze your buttockses" - Elle

"Why do you think I'm standing like this? I got Niagara Falls if I scissor." - Adam

"Don't worry, you can use my arm as a tampon" - Chris

"You have a gang?" - Elle
"I have a symbol." - Jen

"How about Daffodil Freak Show?" - Elle

"I'm an astronaut. I'm an astronaut. I'm an astronaut." - Adam


BOBBY & BOBBY
"When you're married eight times, that's a significant portion of the population." - Bobby

"Sometimes I have to knock it off and go shoot something." - Bobby

"I actually have never combed my hair, it just grows molded this way" - Bobby

"And I said, 'Watch, Henry, Michael Landon's about to die.'" - Bobby

"The last thing I scalped was a cheetah and I did it poorly" - Bobby

"You have to find the crease of the cheetah." - Bobby

"What's to understand? It's a shark! It's attacking a village! Get some chum!" - Bobby

"Like Kissinger, the man is a T.V. freeloader." - Bobby

"He could fly to all the games, even the games that are happening simultaneously and get back in time for the Monday night games and have it edited into something that would break your heart by Wednesday," - Bobby

"The Congo's practically made of cocaine." - Bobby

"Berlin is nothing but spies finding resolution." - Bobby

"Sharks don't have hands, but if they did they'd have strong kung fu hands." - Bobby

"I have a magic wand sticking out of my mouth and it's my tongue, bleah bleah bleah." - Bobby

"I gave the sandwich to Martin Scorsese.. He ate the sandwich and he said, 'I'm going to direct Goodfellas.'"

MITCH
..We are diamond heisters, yes, but we love New York.. .. Jim

..The night really makes you look pretty, it erases your flaws... .. Josh

..I would laak a naace glass of lemonaaade... .. Josh
..And some freedom... .. Jim

..1847 here we come!.. .. Jim

..Didn..t you read that if you step on a butterfly, Hitler will have claws?.. .. Josh

..Why DON..T we want a lobster Hitler?.. .. Katie

..It..s hard not to smile if you..re looking at a tambourine... .. Josh

..Two bullets and a monkey can..t stop me... .. Jim


CRACKED HELMET
..Hey, uh. What happened?.. .. Corey
..When?.. .. Aric

..Then it..s probably not Karen, cause Karen..s a fire crotch... .. Corey

..See, like Wednesday, it says Ham Sandwich Appointment... .. Aric

[Speaking of a fat girl with a star tattoo] ..It..s like a collapsing star, it..s gonna go supernova. And I..m like, get out of here, I don..t want to get sucked into a red giant or something... .. Aric

..We were at Starbeam..s. You gave me ecstasy. We have an armoire... .. Corey

..We..re not a rope donation center, we..re not the Salvation Army of Rope.. .. Aric


FINGERGUN
..I..m a VIP... .. Dan
..A VIP of what?.. .. Mike
..Personality!.. .. Dan

..My D-Day is allergens!.. .. Mike

..It..s luck! It..s luck! It..s like being born a male Chinese kid!.. .. Mike

..If the Cleveland Browns aren..t playing then I..m dying... .. Joe

..Ever since then I..ve had exercise induced Asthma. And syphilis... .. Fred

..Here I am thinking about my grandma and you don..t have your canoe!.. .. Joe

..You canoe!.. .. Joe
..You can talk to birds!.. .. Dan

..I would really like my insulin.. .. Mike
..Well tit for tat, Gweneviere, tit for tat... .. Fred

..It appears that your portrait of the turtle pirate is in tatters... .. Mike

..If you could prepare the death bird and send it to my grandchild I would be appreciative... .. Mike


RESIST BUTCH
..If this were an accurate simulation, I wouldn..t warn you. I would just burp then poop... .. Butch

..If you were actually three months old you..d be impressive as hell... .. Jill

..You only control not-flight... .. Jill
..Without not-flight, could there be flight?.. .. Butch

..If it were so easy for Cubans to take over the country, wouldn..t they have done it by now?.. .. Jill
..Haven..t they?.. - Butch

BRING BACK THE BUFFALO
Theres nothing sexier than brushing your teeth Steph
Yeah, thats why Im here. Damian

Hell! I could turn it into a geodesic dome for you! Damian

There are only so many places we can live that arent within 500 feet of a school Kate

I just have to find my purse. Ugh, its furry. Steph

Great day! I mean, if you like funerals. Steph

They said I was loitering. I dont think drinking in the street is loitering Kate


MILL CITY MAYHEM
We just grew up our whole lives thinking people leave cheese out. And they dont! They dont! Who the !@.. leaves cheese out? Lauren

Would you rather work or tilt-a-whirl for four hours? Because the carnivals free on Mondays Brant

Its like I took a spoon to his chest and scooped it out and put chocolate on it and ate it Lauren

YOU BROKE MY JET! Lauren

Randy Travis! His button nose calms me! Lauren

You are crafty! Crafty like a bomb maker. Brandt

I just have to take you on a real long car ride and youll say wheres the station and Ill say keep it down back there Brandt

I keep thinking about my real leg, up in leg heaven. Lauren

All right! Ill do it! Ill go undercover in the seedy underbelly of our city! Ill wear an eye-patch and Ill call myself Psycho Steve Brandt


POWDERPUFF BOYS
I have no medical skills whatsoever, Im a customer service rep for Verizon Mike

Yeah, smells like porcupines Bryce

I love you maaaa gurgle gurgle gurgle Bryce

When you took over a third world country and enslaved its race by the age of 12, I knew you had the stuff Mike
You know it! Hey, a quarter! Bryce

Take my arms. TAKE MY ARMS! Bryce, trying to get out of the splits on chairs.


FINGERGUN
Thats right! Its going to be Hanes My Way Mike

Meoooow Fred

Those are real claws you have taped on Nels

I didnt know they could slow down a Presidents of the United States of America song Mike

Do you want to go into my Mazda? Nels

I paint my blue emotion on your tummy Fred

Let my angel come out of my mouth like and angel volcano Mike