Where do people come up with some shit? Seriously.

In the past week or so I've had quite a few really harsh things said to me. Things that clearly aren't true. Things that I know aren't true and it doesn't even bother me that some dumbshit thinks it's cool to tell me them. What bothers me is the fact that he seems to think he can vouche for everyone when saying them. He's speaking these words to me as if he's the voice of everyone.

Do me a favor.. Let me know if you agree or disagree with any of this stuff and a reason why you do or don't agree. (don't worry I won't be all emo if you agree that I suck at life.. It won't effect me one bit)

What I've recently been told by this ignorant douchebag are these things:
* I'm selfish and rude
* I'm immature
* I think everything revolves around me
* I always start arguements about everything
* I don't ever put in any effort to see my friends who live far away
* I can't have true friends because I don't even know how to be a true friend
* The people I think are my true friends talk shit on me and don't like me
* I shouldn't involve myself in issues that "don't involve me" even if I'm texted by my best friend who is very irate and pissed about said issues
* My life can't possibly be great because of an incurable std and my horrendous personality
-- I think that's it at least that I can remember --

Life is a fucking puzzle. Lay the pieces before me and my brain becomes the jigsaw master. Slowly picking up, sorting and shifting pieces until they fit together. One by one, slowly a picture forms. Want to complicate things and hide pieces? Much like "Where's Waldo" in a crowded room? After awhile of searching, I'd still find the striped bastard. And after searching for missing pieces, I'll still manage to find them. If for some reason, a piece remains unfound, I'll mold together one of my own and pound it into place to fit the empty spot.

I've gathered pieces and placed them together. My eyes are cloudy and I might not be seeing clearly.. the foggy image makes me uneasy. At this point I want to hit the table, flip the board and break apart the fucking puzzle!

Throw it back in the box... I'd rather not be a jigsaw master this time.

I don't really have time, effort or desire to write a long ass blog about everything that happened on my vacation.  Nor does anybody really want to read that shit. So, I'm going to let you fuckers know the basics: Who, What, When, Where, Why

Who
* Chad
* Christopher
* Dad & his girlfriend who I strongly dislike
* Adam M.
* Jessica P.
* Crystal, Evan & her whole family
* Crystal D.
* Chris D.
* Michelle
* Met new people: Lexi, Molly, Mike & Tyler
* Joe
* Angela
* Jessica K.
* Grandparents
* Uncle Dennis
* Joshua
* Staci
* Billy
* Lacey
* Michael
* Wesley

What
* Moved Christopher
* Dave & Busters
* Clancy's Pub
* Seal Beach
* Condom Rev. Sex shop
* Denny's (twice)
* Crystal's House (twice)
* Hookah Bar
* Kick back party
* Olive Garden
* Disneyland
* Salt N Pepper Restraunt
* The Rocks Bar
* Wesley's Hospital
* Chad's House

Where = Omaha Nebraska.. All over Orange County, California.. and Iowa
When = October 13th until October 23rd
Why = Because I needed a fucking break from work

It was probably one of my better vacations. I didn't see everyone I had planned on while I was in California. However, I'm at a point that I'm over it. I'm done putting out effort to get nothing back. It's time to do something for me instead of for everyone else. I was shown who wanted to see me and who had better things to do.

The only downfall of my whole vacation was missing somebody too much and my actual travel experience. I was delayed in Denver airport for an hour going out to Cali because of "mechanical issues" and then onthe way back was the worst.. I was delayed two hours in Denver because there was no crew. We finally board and somehow the wrong crew gets on.. so we had to wait for them to switch. Then we're ready to take off and have to wait to get our wings deiced.. because the plane had sat in the cold rain for a few hours without moving. If that's not enough I spilled my coke midflight.. all over my jeans!!!! I was happy once I finally made it to Omaha at like 1:30 or 2am.

But.. overall I would say this vacation turned out great. Thanks to everyone that was a part of it. I miss you guys already.

I have some of the most amazing friends ever. Seriously.

There's people that live far away from me. I used to miss them all the time. But the more attempts that I make to contact them only to get nothing back... The easier it is to deal with the distance.

Those who matter most will always be there, no matter what. I have one friendship that's been through more than any other friendship I've had in my life. But when the smoke cleared we were able to be friends again. That is what friendship is about.

I've decided that there's absolutely no use stressing over trying to make time for people that won't make time for me. No matter how close or far away they live.

Eh.. Just food for thought I guess. This California planning bullshit has me a little emo lately. Partially because of the situation and circumstances of it all... and partly because I more than likely won't see half the people I usually see. But fact of the matter is that I'll be there for five days and I'll see those who matter most. Then I'll retun back to where my life belongs now. As much as part of me hates to admit it, my life is Iowa now.. 95% or more!

You can't make something outta nothing... Maybe it's time to let go.

It's cold and rainy. Perfect hoodie weather. Perfect stay in bed all day and be lazy type weather. But being lazy in bed all day is no fun when you're the only body consuming your entire bed. Even if your bed is only a tiny litte twin.

Love is something amazing. When all you want is to be with that person that makes you smile constantly. When they're the last person you think of before you go to sleep and the first one you reach for when you wake up. But 400 miles can leave a lot of space open for doubts and negative thoughts.

A close friend of mine often says I'm strong as hell. Because I can deal with the distance. The love I have is strong enough to get me through the many miles and several days sometimes weeks between seeing the person who holds my heart in the palm of his hands. I've never been this voulnerable. He has the ability to make me smile at my worst and laugh when I want to cry. He's proven that he genuinely cares and yet he has the power to crush my entire world at any moment. Unfortunately, negative thoughts about such activites fill my head from time to time due to the 400 miles between us and the difference in our work schedules. Call me a selfish attention whore if you must, but it's just that I like to be with him, I like his attention and I absolutely love getting to spend time with him. Besides, isn't a relationship about spending time together? I've always thought so....

My chest physically hurts because I miss him that much. Honestly, for a little while I didn't know what the pain was from. It took me a little while to admit to myself that it was because he's gone. I wish I had the funds and abilitly to drive and see him when I don't have to work. It feels somewhat unfair that he has to make all the effort to come see me... Simply because I don't have the money or a way to get there.

I've never wanted something, or felt like I needed something, as much as I wish I could spend everyday with him. I almost bypassed my vacation back home because I thought about taking that time to go to his house and see where he grew up. Instead, I've invited him to go with me. The best of both worlds and I'll be able to introduce him to the other important side of my life.

Now, saving the money to be able to actually go.. That'll be a challenge. Hopefully I'll be able to.

Oh and to update on the doctor stuff...
I now take all the vitamins (Daily vitamin, 2000mg Vitamin C and 1200mg Calcium everyday) as well as an "Esential Amino Acid" supplement powder which makes me want to vomit everytime I take it. And the "Citruline" supplement powder which I took growing up. Tasting the other crap, I now realize the doctors were right when I was younger, Citruline really isn't that bad. Ha! For now, my dietician is sending me samples of both supplements. I have to fill out some papers and send them back... so she can send me more samples through their formula program. No clue what that is... guess I'll find out when I get the papers. From the sounds of it.. it seems like a money saver. Yay for that!!!

I recently emailed my doctor because I started to get mail from the billing section of the University hospital.. as well as insurance papers etc. I basically asked her what the results of my many tests are... anyway, this is the email reply I got today: 

Incase you're completely sheltered and have no idea that Iowa is currently experiencing severe flood issues.. Let me help you out a little bit.

We've been in a major flood fight for about 10 days now. We'll have a sunny day or two (three if we're lucky) Then we'll get hit with another wall of storms that produce heavy rainfall, thunderstorms and tornados. Most commonly talked about, Cedar Rapids and Des Moines are both under water basically. The news shows people boating on the roads where cars drove just a couple weeks ago.

A total of 15 lives have been lost in Iowa and thousands were left homeless, while 10 counties are under evacuation orders and 83 of the state's 99 counties have been declared disaster areas.

I don't have the energy to post pictures.. But they can be found all over the place. IOWAFLOOD.COM Has some decent ones of the bigger cities. A baseball field about 20 miles (or less) from here is under water also.

Basically, Most of the state is covered in water. My town is fine. I'm not near the river. I'm pretty sure we're far enough on every side that we'll remain okay. But there you have it... Iowa underwater. Say goodbye to any idea of cheap produce prices.