This is Jamie writing from the control room of the sweet Sound and Vision studio/artspace in Moline, IL. We've made it this far into tour and yesterday met up with old friends Meth and Goats.  Tonight we will be playin here and then chilling on the banks of the mighty mississip.  Here's my brief highlights of tour, in no particular order.

1.) Taco Pizza.  Cuz we just ate some.  It was awesome.
2.) Tacos in Texas.  Cuz im thinking about tacos now, damn they were good.
3.) Seeing old and dear friends.  Its been a while.
4.) Playing music.  Cuz it makes me smile.
5.) Pool party minivan in austin.  Kiddie pool in a van. Just sayin.
6.) Rooftops in tulsa.  Terrifying fire escapes.
7.) New friends and good tunes.  Too many awesome bands to list.
8.) Seeing the big ol u.s. of a.  what a wierd place.

And we're only halfway done.  Hope to see ya'll soon!!!  From here on out we're goin east.
Chao chicos y chicas!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, and Ladies:

Here is the final track from SEMINAL RICHMOND HARDCORE BAND THE CATALYST's first full length album SWALLOW YOUR TEETH. Note that this upload and blog entry are a full two and a half hours late. As I have said many times, not my fault. Life happens, whether we want it to, or not.
This song is called "A Goodbye Kiss From The Catalyst (You Dog)" which is what Jamie wanted to call the album, which is a clear example of why we don't allow Jamie to name the albums. In the interest of full disclosure, this is what the infamous shoe-tosser cried out as he was throwing his shoes at former President George W. Bush. Of course, you must replace the word "Catalyst" with the word "Iraqis" to get the full effect, but you get the idea. The Catalyst still thinks President Bush was an asshole, as I'm sure many of you do. We only wish that one of these airborne loafers might have struck him in the eye. Such is life.
This is another song that I'd rather not talk about in public. Any of you that might understand more than three words and wish to know more, feel free to message us, as I will speak privately about it without reservations.  I feel the need to mention that the star of this song--and truly, most of the songs on this album--is our bassist, Michael Backus. His magnificent wandering bassline that comes in towards the end of the song (when I say "Inwards I turn to a place I'm unheard...") absolutely steals the show and still surprises me every time I hear it. But that's kind of the theme of this whole record. We constantly surprise one another, and that's what makes us click. I want to get sappy for a second and recognize those of you that have been tuning in for the last eleven days, and making this thing work. You make this work for us. You make this worth the effort that we put in.  I can only ask that if you enjoyed listening to this album, that you please pre-order the record instead of waiting for it to show up on SoulSeek. You are supporting two independant record labels run by fabulous individuals whose only concern is continuing to provide the world that they don't understand with the music that they love. And to pay their rent.
To finish up, here are some fun facts about "Swallow Your Teeth", some of which are true, and some that are completely made up, but potentially dead on:

-total time spent recording, 91 hours.
-total amount spent (USD) $1925
-total amps traded for recording time, 1 (ampeg v4).
-total vomits, 1.
-total beer drank, 1,440 oz.
-best score in boomerbloxx, michael backus (566).
-best pizza, johnny b's.
-nicest smelling living room: mike brennan (sorry, rest of philadelphia. go there and tell me it's not true. you're lying.)
-hours spent speechless by lead singer: 36.
-number of pick slides: 97. (est.)
-number of feedback squeals: 666 (est.)

Much love to all of you, and I hope that we see you on tour. Adios and adieu and farewell.

TOMORROW: RECORD RELEASE SHOW AT GALLERY 5.

USA PRE-ORDER HERE
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Another quick one, because I'm going out in a second.
This is the last song that we wrote for the LP, and to be completely honest with you, I was still writing the lyrics in the vocal booth.  Still, I think this song came out as one of the best on the whole record.  The line "we know when you're lying, it's when you open your mouth" comes from a This Modern World cartoon about former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.

Today was my last day of work before tour.  There's something indescribably awesome about this feeling.  There is still much to do, tomorrow it's screenprinting t-shirts and getting our final itinerary together.  Monday, I have to go buy us a spare tire and otherwise get the van ready.  Tuesday, we're playing the record release show at Gallery 5 (you'll be there... right?)  Wednesday, it's packing, and tying up loose ends.  If anyone in RVA wants to hang, you've got about 72 hours.  Give me a call.

TOMORROW: we wrap up this great experiment with A GOODBYE KISS FROM THE CATALYST (YOU DOG)

USA PRE-ORDER HERE
EUROPE PRE-ORDER HERE

P.S.  It was brought to my attention today that there are other parts of the world besides Europe and the United States.  Who knew?  Anyways, if you are from somewhere out there, take your pick as to whether the USA or Italy has a better postal service, and hit 'em up.

"That's it?"

- Steve Roche, after we finished tracking the vocals for "42012"

I've wanted to cover the theme song from "Beetlejuice" for a while. The latter half of this song may be as close as we actually get.  The original name for this song was "Halloweenie," and I still think that's appropriate.

Our tour is coming together pretty nicely. Here is a quick glance at the dates.

........

It is.  Don't try to deny it.

Here we attempt to exorcise our MELVINS demons, perhaps with only minimal success.  I also happen to think that one part of this song sounds like NINE INCH NAILS in their heyday.  No complaints here.
I suppose I have to address this:  This song is NOT meant to be a slight on PAGE NINETY-NINE, as much as it's likely that people will assume it is.  In fact, they are one of my favorite bands.  In fact, I am wearing their t-shirt as I type this.  They DID write a song called "Richmond Is a Hole," which would make this seem like some sort of a hometown pride revenge thing, but it's not.  PAGE NINETY-NINE received their comeuppance years ago, from less-than-legendary RVA band BUNNY SO TIRED (featuring our future- and now ex-second drummer Jeff Grant) on their song, "Richmond Is a Whole Lotta Fun."  So, no, that's not what this song is about, though, again, people will probably assume that it is.

I guess that's ok.

TOMORROW: WE CHILL OUT WITH "42012"

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This is by far the oldest song on the whole album.  It was in our rotation during our tour in Europe over a year ago.  I'm pretty sure we wrote it right after Jamie went to Argentina in the summer of 2007.  We named it "Japanese Maple" not just for the like we are not what we appear to be (see attached file photo)

... but also because our good friends in ANTLERS named all of their songs after trees and we wanted to make fun of them.
This song is so old, in fact, that we've actually recorded it three times already.  I've decided to post, as an added bonus to you, faithful listener, the recording session where we first recorded this song.  But you are required to read this story before you listen to it.

In September of 2008, George W. Bush was still president, Jon and Kate were still pretending to be married, and The Catalyst toured the Atlantic coast with our (literal) blood brothers and (now) label-mates ANCIENT SKY. This tour included, as most of our tours seemingly do, an extended stay in the city made famous by the Frank Sinatra song "New York, New York"--No, not Philadelphia--New York City.
On the second day, the fellas in Ancient Sky were nice enough to procure us some free studio time under the watchful eyes of Kevin (DISCHARGE shirt) and Sam (GRATEFUL DEAD shirt).  Kevin Discharge Shirt turned out to be in this amazing garage rock band with the amazing moniker PREGNANT, I may post their link too if I remember and can find it.  Anyways, these guys were (I think) sound engineering students, and had a room in this design studio in the shadow of the Williamsburg Bridge where they worked on their portfolio.  I say "in the shadow of" as if I know for sure.  I do know for a fact that the bridge was there, but I never saw this building in the light of day, since we showed up to start recording at 10pm.  You will need to know this later.  Write it down if you need to.
So, at 10pm on a lazy day in the city made famous by the Rancid song "Olympia"--no, not Olympia... NEW YORK CITY--The Catalyst lugged nine billion pounds of equipment up nine billion flights of stairs to be guinea pigs for these two recording students. (In their defense, they are both going to end up being incredible engineers, and Kevin Discharge Shirt kind of looks like The Brain from that move "BRICK".  Sam Grateful Dead Shirt didn't look like anyone in particular but had far superior one-liners.)  Once we were finished locking THE CLUB onto the steering wheel and every door of our borrowed van, we found that these lovely fellows only had four microphones to work with, completely snuffing out any hopes that we had of recording any song with more than one drumkit. We had initially planned on recording "Japanese Maple" (one drumkit) and a rudimentary version of "I Hate The Future" (two drumkits).  But this, alas, was not to be.
Also, upon our arrival, we discovered that Kevin Discharge Shirt and Sam Grateful Dead Shirt were the stewards of something like one hundred and forty-four beers, which they gladly--and perhaps too gladly--offered up to us.
By the time we were miked and levels were set, we had destroyed 18 of these 144 Budweisers.  At this point, it occured to us that it was a fantastic idea to record a cover of New York/Richmond hardcore legend BORN AGAIN$T's classic song "Nine Years Later."  The time was roughly midnight.  At 2am, when we had finished tracking the music for "Japanese Maple," The Catalyst had consumed something like 36 beers, with your hero (me) having consumed something like 9 of them.  We decided that recording this BA cover was even more fantastic of an idea than it had been two hours and 18 beers ago.
Two hours and nine billion beers later, I had already fallen asleep standing up twice.  In the vocal booth.  My girlfriend and a taxi were already on their way while I tracked vocals for these two songs.  I probably could have done two or three more takes, if a more pressing matter hadn't occured to me:  Vomiting and sleeping on the sidewalk until my cab took me back to Jackie's closet, where I wish I could have slept for nine billion times as long as I did.

In case you didn't read any of what I just wrote, the thing you need to understand about these (non-album) tracks you are about to listen to is:

WE. WERE. FUCKING. DRUNK.

with a dash of...

(don'tjudgeus)




TOMORROW: STERLING IS A HOLE

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Quick one here, since I'm going out.

fun facts:

- This song was named after chapter 14 of (Senator) Al Franken's book The Truth (With Jokes), which itself was a parody of some song by some guy named Warren Zevon.
- The vocals for this song were recorded through a fourteen foot long aluminum pipe, except for the chorus ("AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO etc.") which were sung directly into the guitar pickups.
- This was the second song we wrote for the full length.
- We didn't realize until way later that it was pushing seven minutes long.
- Immediately before tracking the vocals for this song, I ate the majority of a 12" pizza.  While recording this song, I drank three cups of Earl Grey.  Immediately after recording this song, I had to excuse myself to puke for what seemed like four hours.
- It was more like four minutes.
- I tracked another song right after it.
- The microphone smelled like bile for the next 24 hours.
- The pizza tasted better going down than coming up.
- The tea tasted better coming up than going down.

TOMORROW: SIDE TWO BEGINS WITH "JAPANESE MAPLE"

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"Dunna Nanunna" was supposed to be our only fast song.  In fact, before we recorded it, it was called "Token Fast Song," (and, later, "D-Beat Or Die Tryin'") before we finally settled on naming it after the guttural noises we used to describe it to our drummer, once we had woken him up. 
Richmond, Virginia is kind of like Mayberry if New York City had taken a dump on it's chest, and every third person thought they were Hunter S. Thompson or Chuck Bukowski.  Kids move here from New Pennington Court or whatever anonymous, prosaic exurb they called home in high school to go to VCU or otherwise laze about.  When you're eighteen this city grid below your feet feels like an endless expanse you'll never see the corners of.  Every smiling stranger you pass on the walk from your apartment to the corner store reminds you that southern hospitality is real, and everyone's story is unique, and you'll never know them all.  But after a few years, you realize there are parts of this town you never think of, and avoid visiting, and you seem to know everyone, and everything about everyone.  People tend to think of this place as a booming metropolis before they look around and realize that it's a small town run by the most inept municipal government in human history, who think this of this place as a booming metropolis.
Don't get me wrong, I love this city.  I think that some of her most ridiculous shortcomings become, in a roundabout way, her greatest strengths, like the way a billion kids come here to go to art school but then spend two straight years drunk and then drop out and start amazing bands [full disclosure: no one in SEMINAL RICHMOND HARDCORE BAND THE CATALYST ever attended college for more than one (1) semester].  I've just been at the shun end of a cross-clique shunning, and I take great umbrage at the idea that an entire group of people have the emotional capacity to completely cut a person out of their lives, literally overnight, without even attempting to inform this person or hear their side of the story.  I guess it's a side effect of living in a town where everyone seems to know everything about everyone, all the time, only they don't.  They just know what everyone is saying.
So when Michael Backus suggested this obviously overdue Minor Threat parody as a title, I leapt at the idea with claws out.  Only he wouldn't let me give this title to any of the next three songs we wrote.  Finally, I realized he was waiting for us to UP THE PUNX so we did.  You are listening to the result.
This was one of the last songs I recorded vocals for.  It's pretty obvious.  If I ever see the phrase "Gorilla/Chicken" on a flyer because of this, I will shit my pants.



TOMORROW: WEREWOLVES OF WASHINGTON



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Whoops, I went and got drunk instead of posting this at midnight like I was supposed to.  The burrent time is 2:21 AM, EST.  I will be leaving in any typos as they occur to prove that I can type efficiently while intoxicated, in the event that any of my future employers may one day read this blog.  Honestly, if they make it this far, they porbably have realized by this point that our band is pro-drug and anti-cop, and reading this may be just an afterthough.  Then again, maybe they are OK with that, and I am only a DWT (drunken while typing) test away from having a fabulous new career.  The pressure is on.  A single bead of sweat trickles past my chin.  You, the reader, lean slightly forward in your chair.  A stitch pops, audibly, in one of the fake leather seams, and you instantly regret impulsively buying a desk chair at a gas station six months ago.  You start to wonder how much a chair of comparable comfortability would cost at a more reputable establishment like The Home Depot (You Can Do It. We Can Help!) would have cost.  You hope that it's not more than $30, but it might be.  It could be $40, or more.  For a while, you think; You silently debate whether it's worth it to you to take a $10 loss, or break even and spend weeks conditioning yourself to view the screen at a twenty-five degree angle.  Thinking about this reminds you of the scoliosis exams you participated in when you were in 8th and 10th grade.  You had heard of it, and you expected it to be so awkward, standing around all of your classmates in your underwear.  But when you werwe actually standing there, you didn't feel that, and almost immediately you realized it was because everyone else was feeling the same thing. Then it occured to you that they threw some sort of powder all over your body right afterwards.  What the hell was that?  Were you being de-loused or something?  This was, like, the tenth week of the semester, wouldn't it be a little late?  You vaguely recall a person checking your scalp for parasites, and you suddenly realize for the fourth time today that you don't have health insurance.  You're surprised when your chair gives away, and you're horizontal when you were vertical.  It occurs to you that spending an extra $10 on a chair that lasted you six months would have cost you less than $2 a month, and you mentally count the change that you're positive is in your pocket.  Just before you hit the faux-oak (which is to say, it was just some other kind of tree) below you, you realize that these are not your thoughts or your memories, but mine.  For some reason, you still feel enticed enough to read this blog about this band streaming the fourth song off of their new album.
It reads as follows:

Oh hey.
Here is the fourth song off our new album:
INCIDENTAL MUSIC

I like it.

TOMORROW:  SMALL TOWN, BIG MOUTH

Like so many of our songs, this one started as something I would sing to my cat.

Rudy has mixed feelings about the guitar.  It is at once his ultimate prey, an unknown foreign object worthy of six or more sniffs, and, at times, his larger, wooden brother.  Sometimes he thinks it might be the veterinarian, and his rectum contracts instinctively.  But moreover, it's the combination of six perpetually vibrating strings and ten taunting fingers.  He finds this combination to be irresistible.
I have a bad habit of not cutting off my string ends when I restring my guitar.  You know (or should know) most cats' opinions on things of a stringlike nature.  Also, years of playing the game "Thing Under The Blanket" (for those not in the know: Cat above blanket.  Hand below blanket.  Hilarity ensues.) with the Rude Boy have made him more than a little distrustful of rapidly moving, seemingly sentient fingers.  So playing guitar--the combination of his two favorite/least favorite things (besides cat food and sleeping) in his whole known world, fills him with the sort of morbid curiosity that we humans experience while passing a particularly vicious looking car crash.
The main riff from this song is probably Rudy's second favorite riff I've ever written, second only to the SEMINAL CATALYST HIT "Panic Don't Panic," off of Two Thousand and Six Six Six.  The original lyrics of that song were as follows:

Ru-dy
You are a cu-tie
You shake your boo-ty
BEFORE YOU POUNCE!
repeat x 1000

TOMORROW: INCIDENTAL MUSIC
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