It's been a while since i sat down and wrote some little things about nothing in particular that the cavernous pit of oddness called 'my brain' can muster. Having said that i don't really know if people read them anyway!!!
Things have changed a bit as far as the band is concerned, we have all re located to the big dirty smoke (london for ignorants), a move that we all feel has definately been for the best, nothing against Tunbridge Wells and our mates who are all rather smashing but if i had to find myself spending my hard earned coin down the Pitcher and Piano due to the fact that it is the best of a very bad set of choices i would have probably descended into a rabid beast of a man scouring the streets looking for truffles in bin's and sacfricing pigeons under the ugly millenium clock just for kicks, here is a summery of the choices available to someone in T Wells after bed time;
Da Vinci's:
Da Vinci's costs around £7.00 to get in, a pint of premium lager is £4.00, for £11 you can buy 110 chomps, thats 15.71 chomps a day, you do the math. In Da Vinci's the DJ realised something that lesser more ignorant DJ's fail to cotton on to, if you play a really good set, why change it, if it aint broke dont fix it, and so he adopted this attitude for 5 years, every friday, exactly the same songs WILL be played, the Baywatch theme tune will definately come on at around 2.00am when everyones buzzing from his eclectic mix of the Artful Dodger and Sash. The only good thing about Da Vinci's is when you live in a flat above the street where everyone walks along at kicking out time and you can shower them with gifts from your ivory tower! I'd rather not be reduced to naughtiness to have fun however.
El Mono:
Gangster's paradise, there's some real big fry in the ghetto's of Tunbridge Wells, there are a lot of people with expendable income to waste on shovelling charlie up their noses and reaching for the laser's and it's warfare on the streets fighting for the business, El Mono is where they like to go to splash their hard earned doller and show off their newly ironed lime green shirt, better to stand out than fade into the background kids. People need to know that you're top dog and lime green definately gives you an advantage in this tussle.
El Mono really makes you feel special, the decor, the music, it's a culmination of the finer things in life, seeing someone on the sofa fingering their bird for all to see makes you realise what life's all about.....i feel the inspiration for a poem coming on...hmmm, maybe it could be called 'el finger en el mono.'
It is worth pointing out at this stage that Tunbridge Wells is actually a very wealthy and privaleged town, so i think El Mono's job is to give it a tough edge, a bit like 5ive bad boys with the power to rock you, El Mono is where you can Slam Dunk da Funk.
Pitcher and Piano:
The best of a sorry bunch, this is largly due to the fact that you can stand outside and don't have to suffer the music for the whole time, i find the beer tends to have a slight metalic edge to it in the pitcher, not nice at all, but it is free to get in which is again why it is the best of the lot. The bouncers in the pitcher don't like my face however, a long standing grudge from the big cheese (dating back 4 years) Means i can longer enter the establishment, the emptiness, sorrow and despair still suffocates me, sleepless nights and panic attacks are regular as i ask...WHY, WHY ME, its so unfair, the Pitcher and Piano is a hole in my life that will never be replaced, i just hope the big cheese can find it in his heart to forgive me, one day, one day, maybe i will see true happiness again!! Until then i walk alone, a shadow of the man i could be, while everyone else lives it up in the Pitcher and Piano.
Just a reminder before i go, be sure to watch the extended airing of 'Do i Not Like That' The Graham Taylor documentary on the 7th October. It's a source of inspiration and an insight into the mind of a complex individual, an underrated tactical genius, I'm fed up of all these fairies from foreign lands infiltrating our league with their technical flair, We need more players like Carlton Palmer and the return of the classic English game plan.....punt the ball up to the big lad and feed off the scraps.
Seya,
Dave x