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Josh Rachlis®



Last Updated: 4/15/2009

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Status: Single
City: Toronto
State: Ontario
Country: CA
Signup Date: 5/17/2006

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Monday, November 02, 2009 
I haven't produced anything new lately, so I figure in the spirit of environmentalism I'll "recycle" an older creative product, with the help of some fresh news on the subject from the site RecycledBride.com. This morning, I got a Facebook friend request with this very sweet attached message: Tracy says, "Josh Rachlis, you rock. That Laurie David proposal was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I blogged about it, check out my website, blah blah blah http://www.recycledbride.com/blog/ ...but most of all, get in touch if you're ever going to be in LA. I'd love to meet you and introduce you to a fantastic group of people. You are bound for great things! Best - Tracy (tracy@recycledbride.com)." This makes me happy on a couple of levels. One, I want to visit L.A. before the end of the year, so this means I might actually have something to do while I'm there. And two, if you visit the link to her blog entry, which you can do by clicking here: http://www.recycledbride.com/blog/2009/11/funniest-marriage-proposal-ever/, you'll see that apparently my marriage proposal to environmentalist Laurie David was the funniest marriage proposal EVER!!! However, it was still unsuccessful. So, gentlemen, the lesson is, don't bother being funny with your marriage proposal. Although, I'm not sure what to recommend doing. My serious marriage proposals don't work either. Still, check out this site for "eco-savvy brides" if you're getting married soon. Which you likely will be if you dated me recently. Apparently anyone who dates me these days becomes engaged to someone else within 6 months. Which means that either they decide "I'll never meet someone as great as Josh. So I might as well marry the next guy who comes along." Or they decide "If that's what dating is like, I never want to date again. So I might as well marry the next guy who comes along." I prefer to think it's the former. Regardless, if you wanna get married fast, go on a date with me. Ladies, take a number!
2:58 PM 
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Sunday, October 18, 2009 
Here's me acting in a radio ad for iLane. I've got about 5 syllables in this baby, but I make them count. And, ever the copywriter, it was my brilliant idea to move my second line up into the middle of the announcer's speech, rather than after "...is his business." So, like, when you cast me in things, you get added value. Just sayin'. Anyway, iLane sounds pretty cool. When they come out with a version that I can attach to my Metropass or bike, I'm so there.
8:05 PM 
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Sunday, October 18, 2009 
So here's my audition for the Citytv Official Comedy Correspondent Contest. You can view all the entries by clicking here. The rules: Discuss the comedic highlights of at least 2 shows from their new comedy line-up, all in under 60 seconds. I know what you're thinking: "Josh can do no wrong! He's always so hilarious! So this audition will be hilarious, too!" Well, maybe those of you who saw my U.N. Peace Day stand-up act aren't thinking that. But anyway, yes, this is going to be hilarious. But not in a good way. Allow me to explain (i.e. make excuses). I watched on Thursday, October 8, 2009. Normally on Thursdays, The Jay Leno Show would be preceded by the new show Community. Except on this night, for some reason there was a 30 Rock rerun before Jay Leno. But the big stumbling block was that I was dying of a bad cold. I could barely think straight, much less be funny. But the deadline was Friday, October 9 at 11:59 p.m. and so I had no choice but to make the video right then and there. None of my ramblings made much sense. But they made even less sense once I cut out enough words to boil it down to 60 seconds. What was cut out? Well, I talked about how Citytv comedy would make me feel good and thus help heal my cold. I talked about how I was wearing my correspondent fedora, complete with Citytv press pass in the ribbon, and how it's a very hard fedora because it's from the dollar store. I talked about how on this particular night not only did the comedy make me feel good because it was funny, it boosted my self esteem in many ways, which made me feel even better. For instance, seeing that Tina Fey can't get a boyfriend made me feel better about being a loser in the world of love. Then I talked about how in his opening monologue, Jay Leno mentioned a study where 70% of people surveyed said their first sexual experience was positive. So, you see, it all sort of made sense. But in my cold-addled haze, I didn't plan it out to fit properly into the 60 seconds. So I'm counting on you, dear fans... Okay, dear fan... Singular... Assuming there's even just one out there... to go to leave comments at the contest YouTube page and on the contest Facebook page to let Citytv know that normally I'm quite amusing and that they should watch my other videos and give me the prize just for being so generally awesome. Can you do that for me? No? Sigh. Oh well, it was worth a shot.
8:04 PM 
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Friday, September 25, 2009 
On my birthday last November, I gave myself one year to become famous. The year's almost done. So Marilla and I discuss what life will be like when we're famous. Areas covered include how to get involved in a sex scandal, George Clooney's alleged bisexuality and William Shatner's alleged girdle. This episode was filmed on Sept. 23, 2009. TALKING BOLLOCKS is a show born out of frustration - both Josh and Rill want to host a talk show. Until they get the gig, they're interviewing themselves. Find more of Marilla Wex at marillawex.com and more of Josh Rachlis at, um, well, here. Or youtube.com/joshrachlis.

5:13 PM 
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Thursday, September 24, 2009 
After unsuccessfully combing the Toronto International Film Festival for a celebrity, I'm about to give up. When suddenly, I spot paparazzi. I spot a bodyguard. I spot... Could it be?? (For the whole saga from the beginning, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.)
8:09 PM 
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Wednesday, September 23, 2009 
Sept. 21, 2009. The Green Party held a meeting for the U.N. International Day Of Peace. They asked me to do some green stand-up comedy and say something about peace. Little did they suspect, I'm actually against peace...

5:01 AM 
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 
It's hard to get into a nightclub on a regular night. Especially when you look like me. And when it's a celebrity party? Forget it. Unless, of course, you're blessed with the charm and quick-thinking of a natural born Celebrity Hunter. For the entire saga, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh!
10:32 PM 
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 
I learned top-secret info that when in Toronto, celebrities hang out in an area "Yorkville." So I went there and checked out the yellow restaurant called Sassafraz... Then the big rock that people sit on... And then finally decided to ask the public for help. Which isn't cheating. It's called "gathering intelligence." For the entire saga, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh!
10:27 PM 
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 
Celebrities are in great shape. So surely they go to the gym. (This is the kind of razor-sharp deductive reasoning you need in order to be the best Celebrity Hunter.) So I went to a gym, hoping to spot celebrities working out while they were in town for the Toronto International Film Festival. While scoping out the gym, I did my patented Celebrity Hunter Workout®. Consult a physician before embarking on this grueling regimen. To follow the saga from the beginning, visit YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.
4:53 PM 
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Sunday, September 20, 2009 
Normally "Celebrity Hunting" involves just finding celebrities. But for this assignment, I have to talk to a celebrity and get them to try the Orville Redenbacher Select White Popcorn. So, while I was wandering around a hotel searching for celebrities, I decided to talk to a non-celebrity to practice my talking skills. This girl was nice enough to let me practice on her. And it was extra fortuitous, because a girl in a bikini in a hot tub is pretty much as close as you can get to being a celebrity without actually being a celebrity, right? To follow the saga from the beginning, visit YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.
4:42 PM 
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