3 Keys to Guaranteed Self-Growth

Boost your brain and read inspiring books.
Learn something new every single day of your life. It was Mahatma Gandhi who said: "Live as though you will die tomorrow and learn as though you will live forever." Powerful encouraging words for our development that demonstrate the importance of learning to the quality of our lives. Trawl the Internet for information, it is the greatest repository of trivia and facts in existence, and put that knowledge to good use. If you feed your body and consider it essential, why not your brain as well? It has to do most of the work.

You might have heard that knowledge is power but, for me, that is not so. To have knowledge without doing anything about it might make you more aware, but you will be no better down the line. What is truly powerful is applied knowledge, acting upon that information to make it work for you or others. While I was researching for my books, the greatest joy was seeing what other people thought about the subjects covered; being able to reject, ignore or accept their opinions and to compare them with mine to give a more balanced view. There is nothing to beat that when we are educating ourselves. Recent research has found that people who read a lot and keep an active mind are less prone to Alzheimer's disease. So keeping our brains fed and watered obviously affects our bodies too.


Emphasise Your Strengths
Keep away from focusing on your perceived weaknessess. Give yourself credit for everything you attempt, whether successful or not. At least you made the effort when you could easily have resisted. By focusing on what you can do, your efforts are applauded instead of just the end product. Starting from a base of what you should, and can, do also helps you to live within the bounds of your limitations while gradually extending them in a comfortable way. Make a list of the things you do well or want to learn, attempting one of them every day or week. It is easy to forget the things you are highly competent at doing, especially when you get little positive feedback.

Continued frustration and having to attempt things we dread, or have real difficulty with, can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially when our success is dependent upon the approval of others. We then place all our value in their hands and sometimes wait in vain for their feedback. But if that reinforcement is not forthcoming from the significant others around us, and in the form we expect, it will destroy our positive feelings. Relying upon such feedback is what children do out of necessity, because they do not have the inner resources, maturity and life experience adults have. Being older, we have to learn how to create and maintain confidence by emphasising the things we value and appreciate in ourselves, whether it is our own names, customs, successes or endeavours. Surround yourself with positive people because negative ones will never see your perspective and will only drag you down in their own emotional mire and negativity.


Set Realistic Goals
Live purposefully and with clear goals. Often fear kills our motivation when we decide to dream big and so we become overwhelmed by the sheer thought of their development and what it might mean to our lives. You must always start with the basics, very simply, and progress very slowly in that way. It means setting realistic goals for you, no one else, because you are the one who will have to work at them and achieve them. Set goals that will meet your expectations. Small incremental successes over time will gradually improve your capabilities, self-belief and self-worth. Avoid making the same mistakes again by learning from them, while remembering that every setback makes you wiser and stronger. Keep your focus on the substance, not just on the form or the glossy structures. Any failure simply means you are not successful yet, but your turn will definitely come if you have the faith, resilience and the patience, and also take time out for self-development.

Today my daughter, Nicole, is 31 years old. She is a beautiful, talented and a very caring young woman and I am so proud of her and her achievements. Though we've not spoken for some years, it has not dimmed the love and appreciation I will always feel for her. I hope we will soon put the sad past behind us and enjoy the precious time we have been given.

I dedicate this blog to her and wish her the greatest happiness and success for this new year of her life. Whatever she is doing today, I hope she is having a fabulous celebration!

Dearest Nicole!

I found this little poem and thought I would share it with you as it says perfectly how I feel today.


Happy Birthday Means Much More


"Happy Birthday" means much more
Than have a happy day.

Within these words lie lots of things
I never get to say.

It means I love you first of all,
Then thanks for all you do.

It means you mean a lot to me,
And that I'm proud of you.

But most of all, I guess it means
That I am thinking of you
on this very special day,
And give thanks for your presence.
Happy Birthday.





All my love and hugs. Mom xxxxxx

5 Essential Tools to Boost Personal Confidence and Popularity


1. Self Encouragement: Talking to others and yourself, particularly as you look in the mirror every morning, is one of the most effective ways of boosting your confidence, especially to avoid negativity around you. Substituting anxiety with something positive like, 'What a handsome gal/dude I am. I will just go out there and show them!' (said with the biggest smile of appreciation too!) might sound very strange on the first morning you try it. But you'd be surprised how it really affirms self-love and sets you up for the day to beat the brickbats you will definitely get from elsewhere, including those from your loved ones. If you don't appreciate yourself fully, how can you expect others to do it?

2. Aim for Excellence, not Perfection: Another approach is that when you catch yourself expecting perfection, remind yourself that it is infinitely more rewarding to do something well than to do it perfectly because, in that way, you can always improve on it another time. This allows you to accept yourself while constantly striving to improve your skills and fulfil your potential. Above all, reward and praise yourself when you have done well. If no one ever does that, including yourself, you will never feel valued. Use positive affirmations and quotes from others to uplift you and increase your determination. Read them every day or when you are feeling negative and need inspiration.

3. Use Inspiring Quotations: No point in re-inventing the wheel. Others have been through what you are experiencing and there is much they have to offer from which to learn and be inspired. Pin up some quotes on your walls to remind you daily of what you need to do and to help keep your thoughts positive. Make up your own quotes around the things you desire, and how you wish to be, and keep saying them over and over. I love to read personal quotes and hear about the experiences of other successful or confident people, especially those who have struggled in their lives. They always give me a boost when I am feeling low and remind me that I am not an island. The all-time favourites which guide my life are four powerful statements.

Some Motivational Quotes
The first one was said by Denzel Washington in a film: "A person wrapped up in himself makes a very small package." It reminds me just how insignificant we are when we do not reach out to others in any positive way or become too introspective and individual. For example, there are many affluent people who needlessly worry about their money. They fret about who will rob them of it, whether the government will get it, or what will happen to it when they are gone. Yet they never use any of it to enjoy themselves or bring some cheer to others. In fact, they are the ones most likely to say how they 'cannot afford it' in answer to spending any money or even making a long distance phone call. But, if we give nothing to others, we have nothing to get. Our greatest happiness, and self-power, comes not from a focus on our individual needs, but in reaching out to others in some meaningful and unexpected way.

The second quote from Robert F Kennedy reflects what I have tried to do with my own life: "Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts, will be written the history of this generation." That's how I perceive my annual awards and the books that I write: each making a small impact on other people's lives which, hopefully, will also affect the whole through their efforts.

The next quote, from Tom Hopkins, is indicative of the way I view my life and aspirations: "I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed. And the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion to the number of times I can fail and keep on trying." That's why I try to be very determined and persistent because the law of averages says that one day I will win out.

The Value of Having Firm Principles
The final quote sums up my principles and keeps my faith firm and unwavering. It was said by Emiliano Zapata, the Mexican revolutionary: "It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees." Respect to that! My principles cannot be bought in any way, no matter how obstinate that might seem to others, but at least they keep me well anchored and mindful of my goals.

4. Practise Kindness, Love and Compassion: This makes you far more positive, stops you being judgmental and self-focused. Kindness and compassion also boost the faith of others in themselves while increasing your personal power and esteem in their eyes. You'll also get a wonderful feeling of appreciation and self-worth.

5. Above all, Learn to Forgive: Even if you are not able to forget, it means you accept your own fallibility and the need to be given more chances, instead of being condemned (or condemning someone else) for one act in a long life. You are then able to move on feeling even more positive about yourself and also being more generous to others.


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To Bag That Gal or Guy - Lose that Self-Consciousness


What is the worst thing that can happen when people focus on you in any negative sense? They may have a moment of salacious gossip, but that's all. Tomorrow you will be yesterday's news. In a career sense, malicious gossip can be damaging in the short term, but you really have to rise above it if you are going to advance. If you feel self-conscious in a social situation like a party, it's usually because you are too self-absorbed, which then makes you appear one-dimensional and unappealing. The most popular people tend to be those who make others feel significant, simply by showing an interest in what they are saying, in their activities and in their endeavours.

My son, who is very handsome with an engaging smile, plucked up the courage at 22 years old to tell me that he felt alone and unattractive at a party he had attended the night before. This was a surprise to me because he seemed so easy, popular and self-assured in his life, with lots of attention from women. However, he was Black among a sea of White faces which did not help his confidence either. He said he had found it difficult to talk to the girls first. They did not speak to him either, and so he did not enjoy himself at all. I told him that he was focusing on himself too much, that he was too worried about the negative things girls might tell him if he approached them, and that he had to develop a fish-in-the-sea philosophy: that there are always others available and waiting, if he were rejected by anyone. I also pointed out that, if he liked someone and was afraid to speak to her first, she would be more likely to feel afraid of speaking first too. Result: No action at all, with misconceptions on both sides and frustrated people all round.

Valuing Yourself First
Above all, he had to value himself highly before others could value him at all. I told him, "As my son, you are the greatest thing since sliced bread to me and, unless you believe it, no one else will. The worst thing someone can say to you is 'No' and, if you feel unduly affected by that, then you don't value yourself at all."

A week later, after another party, he smiled broadly at me and said rather proudly, "I am the best thing since sliced bread!" I was left to interpret that as I wished, but I felt very pleased to see him more cheerful and to know that some of my advice had proved useful.

More than ten years down the line, the youngest member of our staff, Alex, who is drop-dead gorgeous with an outgoing personality and a caring approach to match, said exactly the same thing. This time I was even more gobsmacked because I thought it was much easier to approach women in these days of gender equality compared to ten years earlier. He says he really finds it difficult to approach women to chat them up. He is not sure what to say because everything he says ends up sounding 'stupid' or 'silly'.

However, he notices that the more he drinks the more appealing the women look! By the time the evening is over, someone whom he would never even give a second glance at the beginning seems to be 'just the ticket' at the end! Obviously, his lack of self-belief, desire for perfection and low self-confidence prevent him from taking the initiative and simply settling for anything when he's lost his inhibition. But, as there are likely to be many women feeling exactly the same way, unless someone makes a move, a lot of potential relationships will never see the light of day.

Take an Interest in Others
The best behaviour in those social situations is to focus on your purpose for being present and also on the other people there. Try to take an interest in some of them and in whatever else is happening around you. That should take the attention away from yourself while making you appear far more interesting. Do not lose sight of the common goal you share with everyone else in the room. This goal could be networking for new friends or business contacts, exchanging mutually beneficial information, seeking a potential partner, simply enjoying the occasion or whatever you desire it to be.

Above all, practise asking questions. That's what gets you answers, makes you more attractive and increases your knowledge base. If you only make statements, and about you, then nothing will come back at you, and you will also bore others to death. While we may or may not comment on a statement, only a question requires a response and actually widens the conversation. It also makes the other person feel significant and valued. Be aware that some low-confidence and introspective people might resent your curiosity but they would be in a minority.

10 Easy Ways to Develop Good Interpersonal Skills


Developing good interpersonal skills socially and at work begins with looking outwards; being very generous with praise and having a genuine desire to listen and encourage at every opportunity. Too many people are only interested in hearing their own voices, or putting their colleagues down. This could explain why many organisations are short on innovation but long on windbags who, having the authority and a captive audience to match, drone on relentlessly because they believe their utterances to be paramount.

Like a former colleague who used to boast that, as director, he was the only person who talked at his meetings because he tended to have the best ideas. He did not like suggestions and emphasised that he always had to tell his staff what to do, because 'they never have anything to contribute'. It was no surprise that he went bust a few months later, his business having become sorely short of new input, tolerance and general goodwill.

If you have any doubts about your skills in dealing with others, you could improve the situation by following some simple suggestions.

1. Never be afraid to make the first move, but try to be positive, not negative. Try to compliment, where possible

2. Aim to be clear, brief and courteous on the telephone.

3. Try to address someone by their exact name. Remembering a person's name is a sincere sign of interest, is highly flattering, and never forgotten.

4. Try to LISTEN more than you speak. You are likely to notice certain unspoken elements which would have otherwise gone unnoticed. Not only that, the person will feel you are genuinely interested in what they are saying.

5. Keep meetings short and interesting. Try to involve everyone present. It is easy to notice the articulate ones while you miss the ones who could really make a difference through encouragement.

6. Praise first and criticize later, and only if you have to.

7. Make constructive criticisms, not destructive ones, bearing in mind that there are many routes to the same end. If you show colleagues how to build on what they already have it will be far more productive than destroying the foundations they've laid mainly for your own ego.

8. Try to be more persuasive than divisive. People will go to the ends of the earth for you if they feel valued and appreciated. It means you get much more done that way.

9. Always acknowledge another person's point of view, even if you disagree with it. Their view is important to them, just as yours is important to you. If there is a deadlock, think about it for a while and agree to differ, if nothing changes.

10. Above all, it is your right to express yourself freely, to support what you believe in, as long as you remember that this right also applies to everyone else and carries much responsibility for both compromise and sensitivity.

These simple guidelines may not reduce all your anxieties, or solve all your interpersonal problems, but, with regular usage, your skills should dramatically improve and your personal approach positively enhanced. In time, the quality of your interactions should become far more enjoyable and infinitely more rewarding all round.



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Happy Anniversary, CHEERS to my Friends!


This week I completed a year on Myspace. Occasions like these are important in many respects because they are welcome times to stop and evaluate the whole point and benefit of such activity. I remember being told about MySpace in a conversation by an old flame. I thought that we might have been back together again but it seems he mainly came into my life to impart some information - in other words, to teach me something, and I daresay that i taught him something too in the brief reunion. I am sure I would have got on to MySpace eventually, because i like to kep up-to-date with technology and new innovation,s but he certainly speeded it up for me. And here I am, having had a most interesting and enjoyable year.

I signed on May 12 and had a few days building up my friends when my account suddenly went. I was told it was cancelled. I had some difficulty remembering my password and MySpace thought I was phishing. End of first account. I was so annoyed and frustrated, especially being new and not quite understanding it enough. Anyway, a wonderful lady (POETIC) welcomed me back on the 18th and helped me to get in touch with some of my friends. An incredible, warm human being, she is, and she too came into my life to help me on my way.





A year down the line, I have over 3500 friends and have had a most amazing time meeting some equally amazing people who have taken me to their hearts. For me, personally, without relatives in this country, except my two children, and they have not been communicating with me for obvious reasons, MySpace has been a godsend, especially when I have some free time. I have formed some personal friendships with some awesome people and, even those who are more detached, show their appreciation of me from time to time. Sometimes it has been so overwhelming, this outpouring of love, I feel unusually blessed. Of course, my friendship list has increased relentlessly, even though I have been very strict over the past few months and refused many people in order to have some control over it. I really don't want to be just collecting people because I value the interaction. For example, I used to be able to read bulletins often, now there are so many friends sending them, they disappear even before I have time to read a couple. Which is so frustrating. But that is a price one pays for being too popular. If you said something important which I didn't respond to, I simply didn't see it so best to send me a message as well.

People wanting to be friends praise my site, my cheerfulness, my beauty, my smile, my wisdom and, above all, my words of comfort to them. I accept all of that with grace because the amazing thing is, I am simply being myself. I do not wish to be anyone else. I enjoy being me, my age and my person, secure in the knowledge that those who like my approach and what I have to offer will want more of it. I don't have to try to please everyone.




I have had a fabulous year. Thank you all for your company, your love and your inspiration. Some of the comments left for me have been mind-blowing. Two nights ago I was working late and feeling very tired but wouldn't go to sleep. Suddenly I got a note about a new comment and curiousity made me read it then. It was as if the Universe had sent a messenger to me. This is what it said:

Remembering....... Momma's.... Love....... today!
Urging ...your ...Spirit ...to ......take...... Rest.... today!
You...must..be.... Quiet!
In .order ..to.. hear ..this.. ...today!
What... can... be. done..... Today ..Momma!
Can.. be.. done.. Tomorrow.
You.. need.. more.. then.. a.. Break.. this.. year
Let..... us........ call...it......... Spiritual ...Vibrations.
This.. Reflection.. of.. you, ....is ..a ..Reflection.. of.. Me.
I'.. will.. cook...your. .favorite ...food... Today!
You ...may ..Rest ..your.. Feet, ...on.. my.. Lap ..Today!
Baby.. Boy ...in ...Blue! Don't.. forget... your
Protection ....Today!
In ..God's ..Name ...today!


Telling me to take a break? Uncanny, or wot? THANK YOU BROTHER JACOB MUSIC...It really was appreciated. I




Places like MySpace are now the future. It means people living on their own do not have to feel excluded and isolated anymore with many friendship networks available. There are exciting times ahead, I am sure. I am so glad to be part of the revolution. But we need new mindsets to deal with it, to get rid of the fear and scepticism around it. Sadly, many people really don't understand how to use MySpace to benefit them. But that will come gradually because knowledge is certainly power.

I mean every word when I say I could not have done it without you this past year because friendship is not a one way process. It has to be reciprocal to work. Thanks for taking me to your hearts and making me feel so welcome. It is truly beautiful. Here's to another year of love and joy, Dear Friends!





for simply BEING THERE for me and hope you're having a very enjoyable weekend.xxx

How Are YOUR Interpersonal Skills?


A relative once confided rather gloomily that he had been to a party which was not very enjoyable because hardly anyone spoke to him. Lacking the necessary interpersonal skills, he clammed up like a frightened crab, hugged one section of the room and hoped someone else would make the first move. No one did and he was the loser. Being frightened of initiating contact themself, he was, of course, ignored.

Interpersonal skills are essential ingredients of good communication and social finesse, but they do not come naturally. They are strongly related to the way we were brought up (whether we were expected to be seen and not heard), our inner feelings about ourselves, our level of confidence and, very important, the degree of interest in others. When such skills are missing in the home, group or office, it can lead to loneliness, frustration, non-cooperation and substandard service. Routine skills are required on three levels: personal, social and occupational. To have them well-developed means you can communicate verbally, physically and in writing with far more confidence and assurance.

For example, merely knowing how to use a phone is an indispensable personal tool. Often people dial a number without any idea of what they are going to say or how they should address the person at the other end. Instead, they become the victim of nervousness, they mumble incoherently and at length while they waste needless time in their search for information and their desire to be understood. On the other hand, some receptionists may rudely, or impatiently, respond to callers in a manner suggesting some surprise that anyone should ring their number to disturb their peace!


The Need for Social Skills

Good interpersonal skills assume even more importance on a social level. They are the invisible glue which binds relationships together. Without those skills, we would cause much pain and anguish for our friends and associates and unhappiness for ourselves. Advance skills reveal themselves through a readiness to share ideas and resources, to give credit where it is due, to offer constructive criticism, to enquire into a person's health or circumstance or even being the first one to say hello.

Shy people find it difficult to do most of these things because their own level of self appreciation is often so low they cannot project a favourable image of themselves or take any genuine interest in others. The focus is always on them as they seek approval without really having the courage to get what they want. Being pre-occupied with what strangers are going to think, or how they will be treated, shy people come to dread every interaction.

But if we find it uncomfortable to talk, meet people on their level or make constructive contributions, we are missing out on much of what helps us to hone those skills to perfection. Inevitably, they remain underused, underdeveloped and immature. My relative was afraid of talking to others first and, being equally self-conscious, they were afraid of taking the plunge too. RESULT: Unnecessary tension, needless fear and missed opportunities.

The third level of interpersonal skills is connected with our jobs. It is at work where they are in great demand, especially when a good deal of office politics arises from petty jealousy, lack of confidence and poor social skills. Like the personnel director of a large company whose secretary was the third one in a year and she was already half way through the door because of his boorishness. Being very good at his job, he probably believed his position made him indispensable and excused him from the 'trivia' of treating staff properly. However, his inept behaviour was a sure sign of weak interpersonal skills, common to those who neglect or derogate their staff. They are often 'too busy' to communicate, yet readily showing up to pronounce verdict the minute things go wrong.


Negative Interactions
At the negative end of the social skills continuum are people who constantly find fault first, no matter how good something is. They are often aggressive, enjoy bullying others and even like to use violence to disguise their lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Chronically lacking in interpersonal skills, they use alternative methods of social interaction to push their way through the world. In this forceful manner, they use their physical size, intellect, narrow perspectives or controlling manner to impose their viewpoint on others and belittle their honest efforts. This might compensate for their own inadequacies but it keeps their interpersonal skills at a primitive level. There is not much room to manoeuvre if one is always right!

People who are regularly abusive and aggressive; who are constantly on guard and suspicious of others and who deliberately display an air of Ramboesque bravado, have built barriers around themselves to prevent exposing their vulnerability – one crying out to be wanted and appreciated. They may have been hurt in the past or they have had little personal recognition so they go on the defensive, seeing slights and insults even where none is intended.

Often they find it difficult to reason orally because their verbal skills are limited and their actions dictated by habit rather than logic or context. For them, being aggressive breeds a 'toughness' they wish to display while hiding their acute fear and lack of esteem. However, the only guaranteed result is that such actions reduce their positive interactions even more, thereby diminishing their status as well as the regard and respect of others.

It is not difficult to appreciate that speaking clearly and concisely, making people feel welcome and valued, being able to join in a discussion, to appreciate a colleague openly or rationally argue a point of view, are all useful personal skills that enhance our competence and general appeal. But how do you develop them?


How confident are you?
Try our CONFIDENCE QUIZ to test how you feel about yourself just now. Low confidence and self-esteem rob you of achievements and success. See if you're being affected by it.

Is The Alphabet Dictating Your Success?

Our surnames or family names are often as individual as any birthmark or DNA imprint. Surnames, unlike other names, are essential hand-me-downs of the male lineage, in each case to deliberately identify, delineate and label (as distinct from everyone else), as well as to perpetuate and celebrate a particular tradition, tribe or clan. Family names spell security, consistency, a sense of ownership, level of importance and a strong sense of history. Now it seems that some also spell automatic success.

By themselves surnames do a very good job of sorting people in an unbiased way. But that was until the alphabet took over. The alphabetical use of family names is supposed to offer the ultimate in equal treatment; the fairest and most indifferent form of grouping people into manageable structured units. The twenty-six letters available offer ample room to manoeuvre. However, the alphabet has covertly assumed so much power it has become the final arbiter in our future, allowing no appeal, while it creates an elite which is subconsciously rising to the fore, resulting in the most unequal method of selection in all spheres of our lives.

Ken Adey, in a research in 1986, noted that one teacher (a Mrs Warner) felt she was being discriminated because of her gender whenever she applied for a head of department's post. But after careful research in the UK, he concluded that her lack of success owed more to her surname, the first letter of it, in fact. He had observed 89 candidates for 26 teaching posts and, though all the posts were filled, only 5 candidates were appointed from the bottom half of the alphabet!


Controlled by the Alphabet
It seemed that a simple alphabet of letters, an innocuous string of abstract characters, had taken a stranglehold on our lives so that the most important aspects of our existence were continually being dictated by it. What Ken Adey probably didn't realise then, was the endemic nature of the alphabet's negative effects. The education sector was by no means unique. So has anything changed since 21 years ago? Not much, according to the overwhelming evidence available now. The effects are still remarkable and even disturbing.

We deal with the alphabet so much, it has become an automatic process, buried deep within our subconscious. With each new selection for a person or thing, we mentally stop at A and anything after that assumes less and less importance. Thus, in any interview situation, one of the most important occasions in our lives, it seems we are often not selected on what we have to offer, but on whether we can better the first one or two rivals ahead of us, placed there purely by an arbitrary alphabetical system.

It can be of no surprise then that people with surnames in the top third of the alphabet (A-H) have got it made. First in the queue for everything, they remain right at the forefront forever. This conscious awareness of automatically being first, propels them forward subconsciously, to maintain this position at all costs, especially in their occupations.


Glaring Evidence
The evidence is all around us. The most successful people in government (Bush, Blair, Brown, Carter, Clinton?), education, business, the arts, training and the media are from a privileged elite who claim first access to everything by virtue of that magical letter which begins their surname. Despite the overall popularity of the letters R, S and T, they seem to pale into insignificance behind A, B or C. Yet the only noticeable difference is the gap of 18-20 letters which separate them; a gap which precipitates a mental readjustment that appears to create 18-20 more negative aspects for those unfortunates lower down the order.

In the surname stakes, we can almost forget gender, knowledge or experience. The alphabet will sort us out with callous efficiency into categories marked: Essentials (A-H); Desirables (I-N); Barely Advantageous (0-T); Don't Bother (U-Z). This mental sorting is not confined to groups or organisations. Every individual is brainwashed into doing it. So when we want a particular product, we rush to the phone book and expediency dictates that we head straight to the Acmes and Aardvarks of the business world - while Tempo and Zenith hardly get a look-in.

The indirect result of this concentration on the first letters of our alphabet is that the companies in this little favoured band have rich pickings, economically and socially, while the rest have to make do with the leftover crumbs. That explains why 27% of the FTSE 100 companies in the UK have names which stop at the letter C. Logically, each of the remaining letters can hope for a mere 3.2% as their share, on average.

Looking around we can also see that:
48% of US presidents have surnames beginning A-H
56% of UK Prime Ministers have surnames beginning A-H
62% of Harold Wilson's cabinet in 1964 had surnames beginning A-H
48% of the UK Times Rich List (2005) have surnames beginning A-H
64% of UK proprietors and directors in publishing have surnames beginning A-H
60% of Popes have surnames beginning A-H
58% of UK national newspaper editors have surnames beginning A-H
50% of Fortune's list of 50 most admired companies have names beginning A-H
54% of Fortune's list of 100 companies have names beginning with letters A-H
(In fact, 13(65%) of the TOP 20 companies on Fortune's 2006 list have names beginning with letters A-H))

The list is positively endless of you care to check whatever field or country you're in which sorts and categorises by the alphabet. The evidence is everywhere. The letters A-H are kings and queens in achievement!

So what is the answer to this dilemma?


Possible Solutions
There is obviously no foolproof system of sorting or classification which will ensure equity. But what has been causing the problem is the obsession with one type of selection which is clearly detrimental to the majority of people it affects. It leaves little room for error and has assumed such omnipotent qualities, it is often the ultimate arbiter where it matters most. When it comes to the important occasions which have long term effects on our lives, various systems of personnel sorting should be used - whether it is picking the names from a hat, personal choices, starting in reverse alphabetical order, the first person to arrive, or even using the alphabet! It does not really matter so long as the selection process is diverse, culturally fair and reviewed frequently.

Still not convinced of the need to change? Then look around your department at work and start counting names. Have a look at all the senior personnel and note their surnames. The majority will start with A-H. You will not only be surprised but you will also appreciate why 62% of the latest Forbes Top 100 billionaires have surnames which are in the top half of the alphabet, the number being too significant for mere coincidence.

Remember, the next time you do not make the grade where you have been sorted alphabetically, it could have little to do with your gender, personality, race or your particular skills, but much more to do with whether your name fits; whether you are part of the burgeoning alphabet elite.

Forget the wrong side of the tracks. The key question seems to be: Are you from the right side of the alphabet? That's what really matters!



Do mention Ms CYPRAH if you join them! Thank you.

Hi Gorgeous Guys....some BIG favours, please..


1. Next week Friday sees my first anniversary on MySpace. I thought I would jazz up my profile up for the occasion. What do you think of the new look? If you are bored with nothing better to do, pop over and tell me what you think!!!! It would be greatly appreciated.

2. If you have missed any of my earlier articles (like How can I stop worrying? or How do I handle rejection? or How do I get my Girlfriend to respect me), no problems. I am now writing for HELIUM, so skip over to them by pressing the button on the banner below and have a read from my articles. You might even find something relevant to your situation. This banner will also be on my website for every time you fancy a read.

I freely give advice here on MySpace because I enjoy it. But I have to live. Most important, every time you click on an article, there I get points towards getting money!! It's not a lot, but it is better than nothing. So MAKE A DIFFERENCE today and show some appreciation by at least reading an article. Better still, TELL YOUR FRIENDS about them, or direct them to my blog! They too could find the words useful to their current situation.



HELIUM Do mention Ms CYPRAH if you join them!


Thank you so much and, as usual, TONS of LOVE!!