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I am always taken aback when I read that yet another Hollywood luminary has decided to travel to the other side of the world to adopt a child. The reasons vary from being unable to have children themselves, to just wanting another child. Whatever the reasons are, it is my opinion that these people need to STOP, like NOW, because even as there are a lot of kids in other places in the world who need families, there are lots here in the states who need homes. The reason of "but I wanted an infant" ring hollow with some, because a child is a child is a child, and from my own experiences, the most important thing that any child needs is the love and caring of a fit and loving parent.

I don't know the numbers, but based on web research and numbers posted, there are thousands- perhaps hundreds of thousands- of available children for adoption just here in Los Angeles County alone. The last time I checked, Hollywood is located in Los Angeles County, and lots of our Hollywood luminaries live and work in that area, and the one question I would like to have the answer to, the one question that evades an answer is why are you people not adopting these perfectly good, perfectly adoptable, perfectly healthy American kids? You might assume that it is because there would be too much media attention, or maybe it is the red tape that any of us would have to endure. This leads me to my next point, my next probably wrong assumption as to why it is that celebrities do not adopt here.

-There is too much paperwork, too much digging in someone's past, for a celebrity to have to do. They probably don't want to deal with all the paperwork, and though I can see the reasons (because paperwork is a pain in the okole), when the call of mothering screams silently into your psyche, paperwork should be a secondary worry.

-There is too much media to deal with.
 Oh YEAH? If you are a celebrity, you should already be able to deal with the notoriety. Heck, adopting a kid from the states may be the thing that would change the minds of the inquiring public. If Courtney Love decided that she was going to adopt an American born child, I am not going to go so far as to tell you that the kid would be in good hands, but I will say that whatever horrid thing was said in the press thus far would be somewhat a lot less ugly. I mean, come on -she is a great mother, or so we think, because rarely do we hear anything about her kid, Francis, in the news. Ms. Love has managed to keep her daughter out of the public eye. Good job, you psychotic weirdo!

-It costs less to adopt from other countries.
 This is ridiculous. I have nothing to say about this.

I don't want to pick on those who have the money to fly to another country and pick out a child like one picks out a dog at the local ASPCA. I am probably wrong even in assuming much of what I have already written about this.

Many children in our midst end up spending their entire childhood "in the system." this is a sad and terrible truth about the state of things as they are for our own kids here in the states. I made a promise to myself a long time ago, and that is that if I should ever be able to adopt a child, ever have the finances, a big enough home, a large enough yard to house four kids, I would not bother with a baby. I have birthed three of them, and though those are memories that I would not let go of if I were paid to, the truth is that I could not do it again. It is too much work, and frankly, I cannot change another diaper that will remain in my house for the next 18 years. I put some thought into it. I have seen the faces of homeless children. They look a lot like the homeless adults. The good thing about these kids, though, is that they still have their imaginations, and they are still children. There is still time for someone to come along and change the picture of their lives as they know it.

If ever you should have the unique opportunity to adopt a child, think first about your own reasons for wanting to be a parent, because parenting is not a choice that should be made overnight, never lightly, and always with the child in mind first, even as you have not yet seen the child that will be yours.

Children need love, even older children. Children who have been placed in the foster care system have been through a lot, have seen more than we as adults have, and it is this particular group of kids who need an adult in their lives the most. Once these kids turn 18, they are out on their okoles. In recent years there have been programs put into place that readies these kids for the mechanics of adulthood. Yet, these lessons are not the ones that should be the most important.
Above all, children need to feel loved, to feel valued, and there is only so much that the county is willing to do for them, only so much that can be done.

The rest is up to those who would like to become parents, but for reasons out of their own control, or perhaps even reasons that seem superficial, they cannot.

If you have the room in your house, in your heart, in your life, and the call to parent is nagging at your soul, adopt a child from this country. An infant is nice, but a child needs a good, loving home, and because there are a lot of children in the system as it is who are in search and in need of a good loving home, there should be no issues as to what it is that needs to be done.

People have reasons for wanting an infant. I guess I can understand this, but there are many more reasons why thinking that maybe an older child might not be such a bad thing after all.

I mean, you know, when you were a kid, what was it that you wanted, that would have made the difference between a parent now and your parents back then?

I guess that my main point is that if you have the thought to adopt, then this must mean that you have the love in your heart, and raising a child from infancy is nice, wonderful even, but I would assume that being 3 years old, or 12 years old, or 14 years old, and after having gone through everything that you have gone through, after calling several different women "mama" and being part of the lives of kids just like yourself is ok, because you had that small benefit as a kid. You had parents.

Yet, I am sure that there is nothing greater than the love of a parent whose only goal in life is to be there for a child they can call their own, and by the looks of it, right here on our soil you can have your choice...

Love. Live. Share.
Give your heart and a home to a kid right here at home.
You will live to never regret it...

MAPU

I have tried relentlessly to ignore her, the Octo-Mom, Nadya Suleman. It is my opinion that she is a very sick woman psychologically, and that the world giving her all the attention she is looking for is exactly what she wants. I vowed that I would say what I wanted about government, politics, the state of the state and education, handily avoiding the topic of the moment.

Yet on the other hand, I have received a lot of email asking my opinion about this strange creature we all know and less-than-love, Nadya Suleman.

I don't like tearing people apart the way that I am going to anymore, and it is because with all the perceived bad in the world at the moment, we should all being seeing Ms. Suleman as this year's answer to Britney Spears of last year - whacko!

I do not feel sorry for this ...person. Many people have told me that I need to be a little less harsh about my feelings about the situation, but to each of them I have simply said that when the inspiration hits me, there is no telling what will spew from my brain. Anything toxic or foul tends to spew if kept in a tightly-lidded container, this would include language. I am not sure if I care to call it "softened", in regards to my way of being in terms of judging someone over their foolish choices - and make no mistake, she made the conscious choice to have these embryos implanted in her uterus. All eight were implanted, and all eight survived.

And let us not discuss the idea that any one of us has the perceived right to treat our parents as though they somehow owe for even being part of their lives. Suleman's behavior and attitude toward her parents is, I think, probably the most disgusting part of all of this. If anyone deserves to have her bills paid, it is her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Suleman. Their only mistake in all of this was not throwing her out - sans the first set of kids- squarely and neatly on her rear end. Nadya was told that the house could not support any more children, and instead of oing the right thing, Nadya does the complete opposite.

Yeah, I know, I just said something about sending yet more attention her way, but I think that I have been a good kid. I have said nothing about her, and this will probably be the one and only time that I say anything about her. I don't say anything about other, more disgusting people, who, in my opinion, used another very lovely set of human beings for her own gain, but that was a long time ago and well, I have seen what happens to a person for behaving as though the world revolves around them, seen what happens when you tell people that you are, without saying a word, above everyone else, and that, for instance, the person you have hurt knows well what it is that they have done.

Believe me, I don't, and I cannot understand to this day what it was that I did, but I am pretty sure I don't care anymore outside of the idea that this is a little bit of that left-over anger with people who just think that theirs is the oyster called the world. The problem with this thinking is that the rest of the world foots the bill for their sumptuous hunk of the American-Dream pie.

Yeah? Well, I think I speak for more than only myself when I say that women who are disgusting like our friend the Octo-Mom (and one or two to whom I am rleated to by marriage ONLY, thank God it AIN'T by blood because then I would have to admit to being their relative and well, I have enough relatives who piss me off, hurt me and my family, and well, relatives and family are two different concepts...more on that in a different post) when I say that the circus of your life is what is going to hurt you the most.

Not only did she get the attention she wanted, the fame she craved, and some of the money that goes with it, she garnered the same things for her parents.

What I would like to know is is Ms. Suleman has even bothered to thank her parents for the support they gave her for the first litter...yeah, I said it, now deal with it. Has this fat cow bothered to say thank you to her parents? What about paying them some sort of stipend for their years of support to her and then eventually her first herd of kids? This reminds me way too much of someone else, someone to whom I have referred to as Satan over the years, someone who, incidentally, is on the verge of paying her parents back without even realizing that she is paying a debt long owed to her mother who passed away recently.

It is never the money that it takes, but rather the time, caring and love coupled with the money that always pisses me off. She - the Octo-Cow, has decided that it is fine to be nasty to her parents, a set of people who should handily and immediately have their daughter tested for mental problems. Nadya Suleman has stuck herself in a position that I am not sure she was ready for. Her attitude reminds me of a book I read, am reading again now. Atlas Shrugged is one of those epic novels that are written when time called that there were not enough televisions around for us to bother with trying hard to do more than what was expected of us in terms of our supposed societal debts.

The book describes two sets of people - those who have the power and those who have the knowledge, and it is interesting to know that even back in the days of smoking being a glamorous tradition instead of a very bad habit, people who had money were the ones who were the most heralded, and those who wanted money were the ones who would surely pay for their sins of doing good for others. Ayn Rand captures the situation then and now very well.

It would depend on your own reasoning of having money versus wanting money, the way that you yourself feels about someone like Nadya. If my kid was so inclined to keep me separate from the lives of people who I valued more than they did, I would be so on the phone with not only the proper governmental authorities, but also the damned media. I have this thing about fairness - everyone should be treated fairly, and by this I do not mean that if one kid is given a popsicle, all the kids should have one, too. I mean that if you treat people like garbage -especially people who have given you something that they cannot ever have back, such as their time and their effort, their love and their caring- you should be treated the same way.

Call me old school, or perhaps Old Testament, but the fact remains that if you are so inclined to proverbially bite the hand that feeds you, you should have your own hands bitten by several dozen rabid hamsters. Have you ever been bitten by a hamster? They are cute and fuzzy but there is another side to these little varmints - they bite HARD.

It bites that Nadya seems without conscience when it comes to her mother. My mother has a way of describing things that happen to us. "You must have done something to deserve this. Everything you do to others will be done to you, you mark my words..." Ahhhh, the wisdom of my mother, glasses-wearing and pushing back up onto her nose modern-day seer of events to come.

All the nastiness, all the bitter, biting ironies that seem to visit our lives through means of other people always, always, always is paid back to us in one form or another. Take for instance, this person to whom I am related, who is not my aunt, Satan, who my parents were there for, not just once but several different times, and who are now consequently being treated like garbage by, have been getting treated like garbage by for years now. And I promise you that if I am asked who this is, I will be forced to tell you that once you know, I have to banish you from my life, at least on a 3/4 time basis, because in the eyes of many, there are some who are not privy to making up their own minds when it comes to something like choosing on one's own what it is that will piss them off, and no, forgiveness is not something that I care to discuss with anyone at this moment.

It seems though that screwing one's parents, and to a broader extent, those whom we have asked favor from, is en vogue at the moment. People have decided that it is fine to be evil, to use others for their own personal gain, and Nadya Suleman is not different. She seems to have wanted fame and fortune at almost any cost, and right now it looks as though the price for both of those is at the sky's limit for her - there is nothing that this attention seeking whore won't do in order to be in the media spotlight.

There are people in this world whom I know personally who willingly used, then purposely hurt, my own parents, and I see that the only thing that has spawned from that usage is the fact that you still think you did nothing wrong, and I still think that you are not more than another, albeit smaller and older version of Nadya Suleman. It is too bad that your attention deficit is nothing in comparison to Ms. Suleman, because if it were you might actually  be of some sort of significant value to lots of people. Thankfully, you are not, because what else would happen if you were is that your fat head would not fit through the door of many buildings and perhaps even your car.

People like those who are described as many would describe Ms. Suleman these days are those very people who feel like they are being treated unfairly when it comes to their own sins being revealed by the light of fame, no matter how big or small. We are shown their disgusting nature, and we are shown the ugliness that is their human soul, whatever there is of one, that is.

When the hell are we going to make Ms. Suleman pay for all the wasted time, wasted film footage, and wasted anger that we have been forced to deal with?

Probably as soon as she figures out that she looks NOTHING like Angelina Jolie, figures out that the rest of the world is no longer interested in paying for her mistake, and as soon as she figures out that her mother no longer wants anything to do with her.

Ummm, that will be as soon as that certain relative figures out that she is also not the Sun and the world truly does not revolve around her.

Can you say NEVER???

MAPU

We all know how it happens. We hear about a bill or some other unfair law that the senate, house or the congress wants to pass, and because many of us tell ourselves that no matter even if we did make some noise, it will not make a difference, because our votes don't matter.

I'm sorry, were you there when we voted last time? Did you see what happened this time around? What happens when you don't vote is that laws and bills that we do not want, would never create ourselves, would not vote on if we were paid to vote "yes" for them end up passing, becoming law and then, ultimately, we end up bitching about the very thing that we did not want. We end up having laws that make sense only to a certain number of people.

We hold the power in our hands, and in our voices. We have the uniqueness of the Constitutional right to freedom of expression, and with that one tool, we have power. Because of that famous First Amendment, we are granted not only the power to speak against those things we do not want, speak for things we do want, we are granted the ultimate power to make decisions.

Instead of standing still and talking about the laws that we do not like, are not comfortable with, would never vote for passage, we should be calling our senators, congressional leaders, local government officials, and we should be making some noise. We have the power of the internet and email, of myspace and facebook, of creating our own web presence.

Sadly, even as we all know this to be true, many sit and do nothing more than just talk amongst ourselves as if talking amongst ourselves will do more than only fan the flames of resentment, of powerlessness, of doing only what it is that we have done thus far: wait four years until we have another guy in office we can complain about.

If you have not already registered to vote, do it...in fact, now is not too late. If you have not already attached yourself to a cause, to something that you identify with, something that you know you are not alone in, fighting for or against, do it. Do it for yourself, and for your kids. Do it for that nice little old lady down the street who is on a fixed income, and do it for that nice young couple on the corner who are just starting out, dreams in hand and future ahead of them.

Make some noise, folks. We have the power, the right and the duty to speak out against those things that we feel are not in our best interests, and we should not stand down for the things that we know are not being done for us but rather for those in office whose aspirations are self-centered and completely for reasons of arrogance. These guys - at least some of them - like believing that we are idiots, that we won't get angry and that we won't say things that might make passing stupid bills that cost us money a dream that will never become real for them.

We have seen great change just in this presidential election alone, and we have been witness to signs of the times that have either propelled us into the future or thrown us back in time to when it was ok to be judgmental, to care about what happens behind closed doors and in the private lives of people who we otherwise would not even bother. It is nice being neighborly, but that is nothing without a reason why we like being that way. We like solidarity. We like feeling the energy fed to us by a crowd of people who are of like mind. We like being together on things, and we like causing a stir. It is our right to be this way, because we are Americans. Many young lives have been lost preserving the rights that we so hold dearly and simultaneously take for granted. If you like your freedom, thank a Marine, a Soldier, a Navy-man or woman, an Airman, because it is they who risk their lives for the rest of us.

We can vote with our voices, not just at the polls. We can call our civic leaders and we can petition those things that we do not like so that they do not become yet one more foolish law that we all end up paying for. This is not being written because I personally have a bone to pick with anyone. This is being written because as a whole our American citizens have become cynical, dispassionate and turn a blind and ignorant eye to those things that happen because we let them happen.

We are not obliged to allow our leaders to lead us into situations that we cannot get out of, and we are not required to do what they want us to do, but rather, it is the other way around. We are the puppet masters, guys, and unless and until we all speak up, make some noise and get things done, we will continue to be the bitter, angry mob that we are.

We have a process in this country, and that process is in place for our benefit. We should be happy to work toward a better future for our children and for our childrens' children. Staying quiet and being good, model citizens is something that we can no longer spend our time thinking is the best idea we have. It is not the only idea. We have the option, the duty take a stance against all those things that are not for our benefit, but for the benefit of those whose only agenda is to satisfy a small, quiet bunch who already believe that we are just going to stand there and take it like they expect us to.

To hell with that.
Stand up and make some damned noise, folks.

It's called exercizing our freedoms, which is something we should all start doing before those freedoms which we so hold dearly as our American born right vanish like the Southern California sunset in the summer time.

Wave your hands in the air, then wave your flag- Old Glory...be glad for the fact that yours is the only country where you have a say so...

Stand up.
And MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!

MAPU

Well, after much time in mourning, if not for one lost loved one then for another, if not for the loss of life as I knew it, I have decided that the time has come for me to once again bare the teeth and the claws and try hard to understand why it is that our government leaders are hell bent on screwing us, over and over again here in the great (and over-populated) Golden State, California. I may bitch about it here, about how high the cost of living is in some areas, about the smog, the crowds, the blatantly overpaid idiots who seem to draw attention and a big fat paycheck for doing basically nothing helpful for more than just a few people, but this place is my home. I was born and raised here, a product of a Los Angeles County upbringing.

So here we are, only in the infancy stages of our latest President's term in office, and love him or hate him, he is who we have and he is the guy in charge. With new leadership there always comes new stupidity. OK, so maybe this latest bout with stupidity is not something that is new. It is perhaps one of those bouts with stupidity that one Senator on the hill seems to think we need here in California.

Do I believe that we all need health care? Of course I do. We all get sick. We all need to see a doctor now and again, but the problem is that there is so much red tape and so many insurance rules, regulations and crapola that in order to see a doctor we have to get there before we are ailing. They are called "well visits," which, if you are me, you think something totally different when you think about a "well visit." (It has to do with a shot glass and a very forgiving bartender...anyway...)

I would not have started researching this SB 810 if it were not for a high school classmate of mine named Lisa. She posted it to her Facebook "wall," and well, let's just say that it took on a life of its own. With the onset of an AIG led blind robbery of the American people, it is no wonder that Senator Leno would seem to suckle on the teat of the fearful Americans. And why should we not be afraid? Our entire economy is on a roller coaster ride right now, and there seems no end in sight. Now this ...guy...wants us to foot the bill for "Universal Health Coverage for ALL Californians."

ALL(?) Californians?
Which "all," and may I see your green card, please?
Yup, I said it, now deal with it. Now, I will not say that all those who are here illegally are the total cause of all this, and I am pretty sure that the guy who fathered this bill is banking on the fears of all of us here in the great state of California are so worried about getting catostrophically sick that we will have to go into hawk just to pay the bills that we will just automatically fall over ourselves because the words "universal" and "health" happen to be words that are used in the literature of the bill over and over again. I think this guy is hoping that the state of the economy is so horribly bad that we will all just take it for granted that this is probably a pretty good idea. Well, it isn't. In fact, it is a monstrously horrible idea, and one that we need to quash immediately.

This is the uproar being caused by this bill at the moment, and there is a less-than-quiet minority that is starting to become a very vocal and loud majority who have had absolutely enough of the idea that we, the people of California, are so stupid that we are just going to believe what we are told. I think the guys who think they are in charge of this place forget where it is that their paychecks come from - FROM OUR PAYCHECKS...hello?

How many of you reading this right now are convinced that paying for all the emergency room visits of people who are not here legally, paying for all of Nadya Suleman's children and her to get free healthcare, all those people who can afford health care but who woul rather save the money and get it free, are going to somehow come from anywhere but your paychecks? Now, I am not talking about the man who worked for years who lost his job and then became sick as a dog from all the stress - if anyone needs something like this it is that guy and his family. And I am not talking about the single mom of even one child who recently lost her job and is currently collecting unemployment benefits, and I am not even talking about that family who lost everything after they worked so hard for it all and is now barely scraping by on welfare. These are the people who need to be taken care of. They worked for a long time and fell on hard times. They deserve to have what they can get because they paid into the system.

The folks who I am talking about are those who end up in California from all over the planet, who come here and behave as though this place sucks so badly that they should have stayed in their own countries (I wonder what they are all waiting for?) and who are now not only collecting wages under the table but who are also collecting some other kind of public aid. These are the people who this bill will benefit the most. The language used in the bill is so complex that it would take someone with a modicum of intelligence that of a college professor because the only other crowd who would are those who work in the insurance industry and in law - LAWYERS, in other words.

This bill will do more harm than it will ever do any good. Our state is already cash strapped as it is, and the debt is being paid by all of us. This bodes very badly for those of us who work independently of an employer. I am a freelance writer, and the money I make is the only money that I have. At the beginning of the year I have to be very careful with what I claim because if it is even a nickel off, the feds are coming to see why, and they are going to want receipts.

BUT, if someone like the guy down the street who works for a living, who does not file his taxes but instead chooses to not just work but also collect welfare, unemployment, food stamps, Medi-Cal and free services for himself, brings his whole family here from whatever God foresaken part of the world he came from, and then tells them all that they can also do this same thing, who is going to pay that bill that he and his family members create?

Well, guys, the same folks who pay them now - you and me, and we already pay for a LOT of stuff, stuff that we may not ever use.

WE have a lot at stake here, folks, and it is up to us to see to it that what little we have left is not forcibly taken from us in the form of bills and laws that can do no one who does not use the emergency room as their primary care physician's office. These guys who write these bills already are taxing smokers an additional 80 cents extra per pack, and an extra 8.00 per carton, all to help fund this political nonsense that is being fueled by nothing more than pure greed which feeds off of the fear which permeates our very existence at the moment. The new cigarette taxes are another thing that we are paying for - all of us, and we don't even relize it because many just assume that it is the smoking folks who have to pay for it. This is not true- lots of hard working people are paying for it in losses to their businesses - businesses that we all frequent from time to time.

Folks, we can't fix our problems all on our own, but certainly we don't need to be helping out those who we know would never do the same for us. People keep saying that the reason fools keep coming here is because of the weather, but I think it is because of the lax attitude when it comes to caring for our own here. If you love this place as much as I do, as much as I know a lot of people do, then you will act responsibly and help us fight the ignorance and the arrogance of those in appointed office.

Vote NO on SB 810

Now, go have a glass of wine, stomp around angrily and cuss like a sailors, for tomorrow and everyday after that, we fight! Maybe not with our fists, but with our votes...

MAPU

This is the actual eulogy that was written and distributed for Nana's services today. I want the world to know what it is like to love a person so much that it would compel them to words strung together in likeness to that of a flower lei...

Nana was one of those rare people who chose to respect all, treat
people fairly, and above all, show the world an endless and
unconditional love. She was kind, funny, a friend to all who ever
crossed her path. In her last days, because this was known of her, it
was easy to reciprocate that love to her as she transitioned from this
life into the loving arms of our Heavenly Father, and back to that
place where we all came from, a place known to all only as home.


Nana tried hard to give to those she felt were in the greatest of
need, never turning anyone away and always having a smile as radiant as
the sun. Her heart bore no ill will, and throughout the span of our
childhood, my cousins and I can all attest to one thing being true –
Nana loved us, every single one of us. There was almost nothing she
would not do for us. In our memories we will all hold her fondly in our
hearts and our souls our own special memories of her, forever and ever.
When her great-grandchildren were born they became the light of her
life. And again we grandkids were treated to a second look at what she
did for us, and what now she was doing for our children, too.


There is not a lot that I can say about her that will make you
laugh, because to describe it would be one of those moments where we
would have to say “You had to be there,” and in most cases, all of us
grandkids can say that we were, laughing through the tears, and
recalling what it was like to be one of Nana’s grandkids. Rather than
reminisce about what it was that she did individually for us as
children, allow me to take you to that place where Grandma lives
forever, where we stay childlike in our wonderment about this great
woman who bought us ice cream and McDonald’s cheeseburgers, and who
forever shall stay part of life because as we live and as we breathe,
we continue her legacy of Love.


There in the brand new birthing of roses, orange and vibrant like
the fiery sunset, with the sun settling onto the Pacific, giving us
pause for the moment as we stand awe-struck by the beauty that is God,
we see the sweetness of the day, the mystery of the night and the
everlasting love of a benevolent and altruistic God Who took care to
see to it that we would all see such magic and mystery.


For a moment imagine the song sung by the rain as it beats on the
roof of your house, and the thunder claps as they strum a mad, loud
crash across the sky, and then the calm which follows it. Think about
the smell of the grass, the plumeria blossoms in the yard, the roses,
the pikake and the ginger. Now think about the song of laughter, of
children at play and of the gentle tinkling of slack key guitar, the
ocean as it sways to and fro, almost as though it were in some mystic
and universal hula, an ensemble ordered by God and given by nature and
enjoyed by all.




Sample rainbows with your soul, and taste the abundance
that is aloha, the frightening madness of color that is the joy of the
heart, and wait patiently for what you want, because it is there,
waiting to be found. When you find it close your eyes and make a wish
and when you open your eyes back up, you will find that it was what you
wanted all along. Think about strawberry shaved ice, shoyu eggs and
spam with rice ball, 9 children laughing and playing beneath the
brightly shining sun, the ocean slapping the shore, and Nana, there and
smiling and reminding us always that we were loved endlessly.


If ever you have the chance to be so loved, enjoy it, endure it,
and when the seeds of that love, of that aloha have sprouted, you will
find that what has grown from it is something so rare and so precious
that it can only be named what it was when it began: Love. Love is the
beginning and the end and everything in between. It is the sun in the
morning, the cloud pictures in the bright of the day, and the geckos
chirping at night beneath a moonlit sky. It is a mother cradling her
baby to sleep, a child playing pretend, an old woman sitting on a park
bench watching time go by. It is all, and it is endless.


Nana did many things. She was a wife and mother, our grandmother,
many peoples’ auntie, a florist and a songstress. Yet one thing was
regardless about her, and that was her measure of Aloha. The depth of
love she held and shared with everyone and anyone will go unmatched.
She was a generously loving person with disdain for no one. No stranger
was a stranger for very long, and once you knew her, you loved her. To
those who read this see yourself in this picture of words painted in
honor of our grandmother. I leave you with but one passage that will
continue to remind us all completely of her.



“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in
part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a
child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a
child. When I became an adult, I put childish ways behind me. Now we
see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to
face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully
known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the
greatest of these is love.” (1 Corinthians 13:8-13)

There is no more precious gift of love that any one person can give to
another than to share moments together. The last few hours of her life
were spent with her asleep, her hand in mine, just as for so many years
before that, mine was in hers. Nana held our very hearts in her hands,
cradled them there and treasured them as though they were the most
precious jewels on earth.



That is because to her, they were.



Aloha no wau ‘ia oe, Kupuna Wahine. You are greatly loved and greatly missed.

Rest in Perfect Peace, Nana...
KATHERINE NAHUNONI SOARES 1917- 2009

Normally I would sit here and give a play-by-play on how things went today at the celebration of my grandmother's life (Funeral is SUCH an ugly word). Yet I can't, because there is nothing bitter, neither horrible to give you. In fact, there is not much that I can say that would be something that would be less than incredible.

Believe it or not, I actually harbor absolutely zero ill feelings for any one of those people with whom I shared a grandma with. In fact, it was a very pleasant experience that I am glad to say that I am sad is over with. Though it was a sad event that we commemorated today, what amazed me was the idea that all us grandkids were there for the same purpose and there was no dry eye in the house.

We are all different. It is because of these differences, I realized, that we are family. We know exactly what pisses each of us off, what each of us loves, and most of all, we know that at the bottom of everything, just as before, even as we live and lead separate lives, we are, indeed, one group. A group of people who have the same memories, the same hurts and heart aches, the same history, and it is this factor that allows me the luxury of saying to them that even though they are who they are, and I am who I am, this is simply the way that it is, and I love you each because of it.

Aloha no wau 'ia 'oe, Nana...you were there, once again, in spirit, making us behave like the good kids you always said we were...

MAPU

If you turned on your radio, tuned in on the internet, looked at a youtube video about the events of President Obama's visit to Southern California yesterday, you would probably be asking the same things that I am asking. First of all, those in the same bed as Mr. Limbaugh have always had a problem with people in the media being way too nit-picky, overly politically correct, having little use for anything like a moral compass. Yesterday when Obama was on the Leno show, no one said anything about why it was that he -Obama- would make the comment he did about his bowling scores.

So, for years and years we have young men and women on the other side of the world still fighting Bush's war, but what is the most important thing right now is that Barrack Obama made mention of his bowling scores making him eligible for placement on the Special Olympics bowling team, at least that is what I got out of it. For years people kept at it with messing with Bush's record of being a drunk, but at the same time people voiced that the reason they voted for him is because "he is someone I could drink a beer with." Yay you - drinking a beer with yet another aging frat boy. Super.

Obama is the president who seems to actually be voted in by the people and is here for the people, and there are people who will tell me that I am wrong, but I don't recall anytime in my lifetime a president visiting a town known for its street knowledge mentality. When people hollah "P TOWN IN THA HY-OUSE," it ain't because we don't know a thing or two about all those things that make all those very good, very born again, very, very white collar people (who don't neccesarily vote with the "R" word..) cringe with bitter contempt.

I won't say that I voted for the man. There is something about a Freshman senator running the free world that is akin, or at least was akin, in my mind to allowing a 12 year old to drive granny to the airport and the car is a 5-speed V8. However, it is my opinion that the reason so many of those whitey-tighty wearin' folks are up in arms about ANYTHING that Obama does is because, basically, their team lost the game. Plainly, simply, it is all bitterness and nothing more.

I cannot claim to being completely unbiased when it comes to being a member of a group that is either for or against a thing or two. People are funny. We all want to get what we want, and we want the rest of the world to just accept that what we want may not really be what we all need and we want to make sure that people know that even though this may be the case, it doesn't matter because there are people who will vehemently disagree with things simply because the person in charge of those things is not on the same team as we are.

I had very little faith in President Obama, and in the weeks that have passed since he took office I will say that I am impressed with his tenacity. He did not come to the gun fight with a knife. He did not tell us that he was going to fix the messes we are in - he simply told us that he was going to help us help ourselves and that he will be there to get his hands dirty, too.

That he would make mention of bowling scores and the Special Olympics is a moot point at best. We have become a nation of people who feel entitled to respect that we did not earn, and we have come to the point in our mentality that we would rather glorify in those things that we think we are than to glorify what we know we are. Instead of furthering the thinking that Obama is picking on those who would be eligible for the Special Olympics, perhaps it might be that he is just a regular guy who happens to be well educated and is leading the free world.

He has not fixed anything, but at least he is attempting to. Which is way more than just standing in front of the nation telling us that we are screwed and that we are in a deep recession - tell us something that we not only don't know, but that we would rather hear. Maybe telling us that we have a long road to recovery would be best for him to say right now, don't you think?

Oh. Wait a minute - he already said that, like, a lot.

MAPU

I would like to take a break from all the hub-bub of grieving and mourning and all those things and events which all seem like a really long, really bad dream.

Barrack Obama was here in Pomona yesterday, and had I known this the day before yesterday I would be writing something about what he looked like in person and what it was like to be standing in the same room as the most powerful man in the free world. However, I did not know that he was here until I looked on the CNN report and recognized a lot of the buildings surrounding the place where President Obama was. When I found out that he was here, and just how close he was to my house, it was almost as though the entire town of Pomona -"P-Town"- was at a different level. It was a very cool thing, even just knowing about it.

Then I woke up this morning and listening to the world's most well-known windbag (Limbaugh), and listening to how he tells everyone that whatever Obama does the media overblows, I started wondering to myself why it was that if it was not such a big deal that the President - our nations' first black President- visited the place that my kid sister refers to as "the blackest area of the city" (And yes, she lives there - down the street from where the Pres was yesterdayt). Our nation's first black President went to a place in a small town on the West Coast where his words would be heard.

Then came the Special Olympics remark, and all of a sudden, the windbag comes out of the cave and starts ruminating about the comment.

I have but one thing to say, and I am sure that as the day wears on, I will have much more to write about regarding the President's visit to my town, but I gotta know, Mr. Limbaugh - if it is not OK that the liberals get coverage for something as benign as appearing on the Tonight Show and saying something that was probabyl taken out of context anyway, is it ok that the First Bush President made remarks as to the Hawaiian people not being a real people, unrecognized, and if so, why was it downplayed back when it was first said?

Why make a big deal out of something that was probably just being said in jest?

Of course, let's not talk about other stuff, like the reason our troops are still in the Middle East, costing billions of dollars per day...let's not do that.

Let's talk about what this President did that really and truly didn't make life any worse for anyone else.

MAPU

...and it is probably going to be a long time before I get the opportunity to do this again.

I am actually raising the proverbial white flag to one of my cousins. Now, realize that this is not me conceding anything, and truly there is only one reason that I would dare say that the white flag, at least with this cousin and in this situation, has been risen.

SO, for those of you who routinely read what I have to spout about on a daily basis, this is going to REALLY take you by surprise, because if you have been reading my blog for as many years that I have been writing it, then you know that I rarely tell people that they are right unless in some small way they are, in fact, right. This is painful in some ways because it means that for once in the history of me and my cousin, she is actually right. This is not saying that I agree with her on everything EXCEPT for one thing.

Her comments to me at first pissed me off, because in general, no one has the right to tell anyone else how they should feel or how a person should allow themselves to "get over" something. Unless it directly relates to me the last thing anymore that I am going to tell someone that they should do - ESPECIALLY after all that I have seen and all that I have seen my parents and sister do for my Nana - is tell someone that they need to get over something quickly, even as that something took years to get as bad as it has. The truth is that I am not sure how much I care.

Here is where she was right - I am angry,and I make no bones about it. I refer to those who have pissed me off without being too terribly horrible about it, and I write about how I feel from my own experience and try hard to not relive anything that I did not experience myself. I only write from my own observations. The part that she is right about is that I am very angry, but what she does not realize is that I have proven the mightiness of the pen versus the sword, and she told me so without telling me outright.

I came to the realization that my power lies within my ability to write from a perspective that people actually understand and can relate to, and when I write, I do so from that place in each of us that is about what our souls have been through versus what the reality is. My soul has witnessed anomalies of the heart and the spirit that no person bordering on human and primal should be excused from. NO person deserves to be treated as though they are somehow less than another because they happen to do work that some may feel is not fitting of anyone they are related by blood to. I have called on the Artemis in me that says it is my position to protect the vulnerable and protest the actions of the sickened and selfish majority. This is the position of those whose life's work is that of the mighty written word. It is not an easy job, an easy mission, but it is one that those women with an Artemis complex take on as a second skin, a game face, if you will.

I am powerful with my word-smithing abilities, much like the person who stood up and said what she did is powerful with her abilities of creating on a level that most only wish they could. What she is waiting for in so far as what it is that she has decided to take on as her life's work escapes me, because she knows what it is that I am talking about when speaking or writing in regards to life's work. I have told her on a million and one occasions what it is that she should check out because just like her mother, she has hands like that of a master sculptor when it comes to what it is that I tell her that I know - and I think even she knows- what she is really good at.

Yet it is on her to decide what it is that she will do with her life. I cannot believe I am going to say so, but this particular cousin was right when she said that I am "very angry." You're damned straight I am angry, and I have the right to be this angry. I have a right to be mad, and I have a right to say what I have to say, and I have the right to be in the mindset that I am in right now. I have the right to say and write and do all the things that I am doing right now. Just like everyone has the right to feel how they do at a particular time in their lives, I have the right to feel like I have been violated, that my parents have been treated poorly, that things did not have to be the way they are and have been for a long time. I have the right to feel like I do.

I thought about it last night - if all this anger is this powerful, imagine all the more powerful I would be if instead I were to draw from this experience what it is that I can do, be and change if I could harness that anger and turn it into something else?

This is not saying that I won't have other perceivably "bad" things to say about this whole situation. Far from it, in fact. This was written because for once in my life I have had to find out from one of the most unlikeliest sources that what I hold in my hands as a gift from God can do so much more than what I am and it is doing.

We each hold the power of our gifts to give to the world in our hands, and we are all blessed beyond measure with gifts from Akua, gifts that no one else is as good at doing as we are. I think I have mentioned once or twice in the past that Elvis Presley scribbled onto a piece of paper one night while on tour the words "God Loves me, but He Loves me more when I am singing." I can say that indeed, God does love me, but apparently He loves me WAY more when I am writing something.

Now, if I could just get the person to whom this proverbial "OK, you're right...sort of..." white flag is partially riased to, to realize that God loves her the most when she is standing behind someone, shears to the frayed tips of someone's long hair, she would understand what it is to know without doubt what she was born to do.

You, me, we all were brought into this life to create beauty for others, ultimately creating beauty for our own Selves. We should all be so lucky to have people point out the splinters in our eyes. I have known for a long time that mine is a power harnessed within the confines of the written word and not within the wars waged that give me something to write about.

Anyhow, now that I know what I am supposed to do...it's your turn.

MAPU

http://globeofblogs.com/

Yeah, I will be the first to admit that I have been in a bit of a mood lately, and for good reason - because I am fed up with all the bullshit permeating my life, the lives of my family members and the people who are equally involved with this mess known as "life as we know it at the moment."

A few minutes ago, Napua, my kid sister, and my father were choosing the perfect version of "Aloha 'Oe" for Nana's service this Saturday. Napua was changing songs and happens upon "Ke Kali Ne Au," also and better known as "The Hawaiian Wedding Song," and in the circles which the little kids all called the same woman "Nana," there is a bit of bittersweetness to this song.

My grandparents used to sing this song ALL THE TIME, at EVERY CHANCE THEY GOT, in front of crowds and sometimes Tutu would do it after he'd had a few drinks. Not saying that he'd need the few drinks because he was always game to show off in front of a crowd.

When we were all growing up, my cousin Jason and I one day donned Tutu's bathrobe, and I donned Nana's, put their house slippahs on and did our version of the two of them singing the "Hawaiian Wedding Song..."

I can hear my cousins laughing as they read this, because it was the funniest thing any one of us saw...I think we did it at their anniversary party AND the family reunion on Maui back in 1985.

Wainapanapa...'85...wainapanapa eighty-fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive....

Ha ha...man, now THAT'S funny shit...

Haha
MAPU

There are many different rules for behavior. What is acceptable behavior is not what is real behavior. We are expected to behave in a manner which is not consistent with the way that we actually feel, hence the reason that there is such high incidence of heart disease, depression and anxiety. Your better sociologists and psychologists will tell you this, and anyone with a brain in their head will say it as well.

The rules for behavior seem to change on a daily basis anymore, and people seem to be more inclined toward keeping the peace and building false comfort than they are knowing the freedom of truth. Truth is different than fact, even though fact is factually true. Truth is more than what is plainly there and in your face, and truth hurts more than does fact. We learn this everyday of our lives, and some of us deal with it while others of us choose to wait to deal with it. Whatever the case may be, it is the one thing that can not ever be changed. Just like facts are facts, the truth is the truth no matter what. Most of the time, the truth hurts like so many pokes in the eye.

The rules for behavior only give us what it is that we think we should do to satisfy everyone else in the world  but never ourselves. If we decide that what we want to do is be right and correct in the eyes of every one else, but remain untrue to ourselves by satisfying them without ever having the audacity to also include our own selves, then whatever it is that we equate with unhappiness and what we equate with inequality we totally deserve. If we decide that making sure there is peace without but not within, then we deserve the perceived turmoil that surely we will be met with.

The rules for behavior call that we should get along at any cost, no matter what and even if that means we must set aside who we are in order to make sure that we are all getting along. This is how people end up having to deal with heart and health issues, and this is how the therapist's couch ends up never losing the butt-dent and the warmth from said dent.

We are so concerned about preserving our false sense of comfort and security that we forget that what we want is far different than what it is that we need. What we need to realize is that though the truth hurts at the immediate moment that we are being given a simple dose of truth, the pain that comes from the ongoing foolishness arising out of our need to feel good for the moment lasts longer than does the pain of just dealing with it all.

Many people want to shut me up, and perhaps it is because their own worlds have been shaken to include the truth of loss and hurt. Though they are not wrong for their feelings about this, what is the most uncomfortable fact about this is that theirs is not the only right way of being. One person's right may not be another's. What we view as being right and fitting according to our own needs may be the very wrongest for someone else.

No one has the right to apply their own rules for thinking and behavior to anyone else. As soon as well all understand this about our selves, and further, about the rest of the human population, we will be able to face the truths in our lives that much easier. Until then, we will continue to believe that always our own ways and our own truths are the only things that matter.

How sad is that? How ghoulish and selfish a society we have become when we believe that what applies to us also applies to the rest of the world.

I did not realize that the sun revolved around us rather than the other way around.

MAPU

I manage to piss people off when I vent. Trust me guys, if you knew what really goes through my head you would understand the reason that I try like hell to be nice when in reality I don't want to be.

Again, let me reiterate what it is that I have had to endure for a long, long time now, and it was not and is not easy. Then throw into the mix people who you haven't seen in a while who seem (note that I said seem- I could be way off) to not have cared much until now how you felt, and then imagine what would go through your own mind when you know what you have been through, but you don't know what they have been through and vice-versa.

Forgiveness, again, after so long of seeing what a person sees and knowing what that same person knows, and then for a long time, having to proverbially eat crow when time arises that you would much rather not, can only come after time has passed. It takes time for a broken bone to heal, and much like that bone, frayed nerves, hurt feelings, anger, even that borderline hatred that we all feel from time to time, takes time to just fade away. Some folks hit a golf ball to deal with their anger, while others draw, cry, play music...and then there are those of us who write. When I need to get over stuff, I write about the way that it makes me feel.

I don't tell others how they should feel  unless it directly relates to me, and in this case, it directly relates to me, my parents, my sister, my brother, my grandmother, my old man, my kids, my friends, and, in part, my extended family. It gets tiring to be told that you should behave this way or that way, and it gets old being told that I should conform to what others feel I should because it makes things nice and peaceful.

I can't be expected to just continue to eat crow, because even people who eat fish daily get tired of eating fish, and frankly, I am sure that there are a million and one people on the planet who have felt the way that I do right now. Battered, tired, waiting for rest to come, but it never does. Then one day you wake up and realize that people are going to have a problem with what you say, do, feel and write, and that people are going to be offended at all of these things, and that people, by and large, will do what they have to in order to maintain peace at any cost.

That leaves a lot of people with a lot of problems and no where to vent. I would love to make this blog be a one-size-fits-all. However, if the world were full of people who constantly made it so that everyone else in it were comfy and everyone else felt great while those who have shit to say are told that they should just find another way to do it, then that would be conforming to what others want, and well folks, that is the way that we all end up, back against a surgeon's table, chest ripped open, innards exposed and our very life at risk.

I say lots of things, and lots of things I say are things that are full of my truths, my experiences and my hurts and angers. These are things that we all feel. I am allowed to feel this way, because how a person feels is never wrong. I was told what I was going to do, and I was told that I should just "shut up." And not only one time, but several times, over the course of years, by people who don't spend enough time with me to know that time and circumstance have changed me, made me see clearly and made me know that what I say is mine, is truth, is what I know, and there is nothing that anyone can say or do to me to change this - it is what I know and it is all that I know right now.

Forgiveness is not something that comes easily, and neither is just letting go. It takes time, practice and the chance to be able to mourn  more than just the passing of a loved one, the loss of the family home, half the family's income, almost the loss of a spouse, and, of course, the family matriarch. When is it ever going to be ok for someone to just tell it like it is without someone else having an opinion about it because simply, other people have lives, too?

When will it ever be OK with people that I hurt, I get mad, I seethe and I want to feel better, and that I am not going to be tied to the little white pills I have been prescribed in order to not feel like I want to beat the hell out of something or someone? When is it going to be the day that I get to be who I am without someone telling me that I am this way or that way, get to do what I need to do in order to feel ok with all that has happened in my life up to this point? My losses are great and they are permanent, and far be it from anyone who has not gone through half of these events to realize that eventually, the past does indeed catch up with you?

Please, don't think for a minute that I was compelled to write this so as to make people who disagree with it feel better about me. I make no apologies for how I feel and in part, there are people who feel like they did right by telling me what they did, and I only told them that I loved them, even though everything else I told them was not something they wanted to hear.

How peculiar it is that people never remember when you tell them that you love them? They seem only to remember when it is that you hurt them or angered them after the fact, or perhaps, prior to the fact?

Strange...

MAPU

I am known for getting very angry. I am really good at getting very angry. Yet, after the last few days, I am learning more that there is only one thing that is the deciding factor in letting go of things - actually being allowed the time to let things go. I wrote about the valuable nature of forgiveness earlier, but there is another side of that which no one addresses, and that side is the side which tells us that we must allow ourselves the permission to heal, to feel no guilt over wanting to feel better and to grieve.

Grieve. Forgiveness. Guilt. These are three words which I heard a lot lately, and most of it out of my own mouth. Yes, I was very angry with one of my cousins, and yes, there are things in the past that are things in the past that went on between his wife and I (NO - not THOSE kinds of things...you perv...) that are likely and on both sides still fresh and still very hurtful if we give ourselves time enough to care about what it was. I am sure that it was not one action that made me feel like this, and it was not words said about me by many people, but rather, the memory of it all that stings the most. I can live without her friendship, and I can live with myself because even though I harbor no ill will toward her, I have not yet let go of the idea that no matter what - and I am sure that she would say the same about me - I lived my life for the better part of the last eight years without the companionship of my cousins, and in that time I learned a lot about myself and even more about them.

I learned, most importantly, that I am going to be me no matter what. No matter if some women feel like I should have ripped her a new asshole, and no matter how many people believe that there are things that I should have and could have done differently, it would not have mattered. When one person wants to end a friendship - no matter what the reason is - that is it. You cannot have a friendship with someone who does not want to be friends. And I have found that I can do without the one-sided relationships. I am better than that. I don't need the heartache.

I will not lie, though, and tell you that I went gently into the night. Hell no I didn't. I am one of those people who knows that I am a good, loyal friend, not a friend who is showy for the sake of being showy. I get enough uninvited attention as it is, and truly I do not need more of it. I was a great friend to her, and she knows it. I was put in an hard place to be, and I would not choose between my loyalty to that one friend versus what I knew was right.

Time is the master healer. I thought that the hardest part of seeing them all again after all the time that passed that I might feel the sting of the past once again, that I might feel like I deserve the disdain that most certainly I assumed I would be met with. Instead, I was met with the truth, and the truth is that I am not them, and they are not me, and we are not each other, no matter who wants us to be that way. We are not those children anymore, the ones who used to run across the street to the park from Nana's house, and we are not those people we thought we were just a mere few years ago.

All of us have grown into people that we are comfortable being, no matter how lousy the rest of the clan feels that is to be that way. I really don't care that she may never want to talk to me again, because the truth is that we do not fit into one another's lives and I think about it now and I am almost sure that we never did.

We all just have to get through this time right now. I will be there for you, and I expect that you will be there for me, too, even if that means we have to be there in absence of one another. (Probably the smartest way to do it because there is less chance of me hanging her in the tree in the backyard by the tag in her underwear).

I love you all, dear cousins...even if it means that I do it from afar. Time heals all wounds. I expect that we should all at least fake it Saturday, when time comes that we must send the family matriarch home...

The message in this is that the generation which came before us is getting older, which means that we all are getting older, nearing 40 and the clock is ticking, folks.

Time heals but also waits for no one.

MAPU

Sometimes there are things and events in life that a person just cannot get over, and try as I might, I just cannot get over the disgusting behavior of some people. What kind of animal, primate, asshole does it take to try to rob their parents of every dime they have just because they can? Sickening, but yes, it truly almost happened.

I would like to take this time right now to address this issue, because I have issues with this sort of behavior, and yes, I am speaking of someone who I have known my entire life and to this day I cannot imagine why it is that I did not say something sooner than now.

What sort of sick and nasty, disgusting and dishonest individual can look at themselves in the mirror, get themselves dressed and still be able to continue looking at themselves and think that what they have done is fine and good because it allowed them to continue their lifestyle, funded on the dime of people who worked hard for that money?

If I knew for sure that there were not people to whom I am related who would not take this personally, I would say more about the actions that this certain person, but that would give away who it is, and well, y'all know my policy - make no comments here or anywhere else that gives away who it is that I am speaking of. It is probably a good thing that I can't, and right now I am sure that I just couldn't, because as it stands, I cannot stand this person and probably could not dare venture to look them in the face. I wonder, sometimes, if their spouse knows that this is the kind of person who they married?

What compels a person to value their own selves over those who cared for us all of our lives? What kind of disgusting person thinks that they are so much more important than those who took care to see that their every need was seen to, that they were safe and loved and that no one messed with them?

Yeah, I can hardly believe that I am related to this person, and unfortunately, I am.

What kind of soulless individual does such devilwork, excusing themselves from the hum drum everydayness of being good to others?

Anyone?

MAPU