The news of having a fourth child on the way was probably the biggest shocker to me, and I had figured that there was nothing else that could trump that surprise.

I guess I was wrong. The news of having a fourth child no longer on the way beat that out.

My wife and I have been through this once before. It doesn't make it easier.

The doctors keep trying to encourage us by telling us that one of every four pregnancies end in miscarriage. Well, we've already had that. Why does it have to happen again?

I can't believe we have to go through this shit all over again. It doesn't help that we're so far from friends and family, so going at it almost alone makes it worse.

We've also been through a lot of crap since moving. Both of us hate our jobs and hate this shithole they call a community. We've been through the ringer as far as finding adequate housing (adequate means indoor plumbing around here), dealing with people who hate you because of where you're born and not having the people you love close by. Plus, getting out of here isn't on the horizon.

And now this? What the hell? Is this some sort of cosmic joke?

If it is, it must be so funny that I forgot to laugh.

I'm convinced God has a sense of humor. Especially today.
Often when I'm talking about my family with other people, I'll often joke that the reason my wife and I have three kids is because we don't want four.
Come May, if all goes well, I'll have to amend that to say the reason why we have four kids is because we don't want five.
My brother summed up my feelings when I broke the news to him this afternoon. "You're nuts."
Of course, he's got two little girls who keep him very busy, so his reaction was understandable.

Wow. I expect to come out my catatonic state around Christmas.