Type your name in my blog comments.
Once you do that, this is what I'll do for you...

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
(if possible. If not, I'll say something that only makes sense to me.)
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.
8. I'll tell you my favorite thing about you.
9. I'll tell you my least favorite thing about you.
10. If you play, you MUST post this on yours

I found this song--and it reallys fits me.....

Lifehouse~~Broken

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hangin' on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ok~~ so this is somthing that I guess has been bothering me deep inside, for those of you that dont know...I do not know who my real father is, I dont know his name, I dont know what he looks like, I dont know what his traits are, and I dont know if he is even dead or alive.  Last night I was watching Meet the Robinsons; the movie is about a little boy that is trying to make a time machine so he can go back in time and see his mom the night she left him at the orphanage...Needless to say at the end of the movie I was in tears yet again, and I ended up crying till I fell asleep.  I guess lately it has been slowly eating away at me, and the part that hurts the most is that there is nothing I can do to change that feeling.

There is no way for me to find out anything about my father, and I will never know anything about him.  I was raised by my grandparents, all my life though I thought I was their daughter.  When I was 15 I found my birth certificate, it showed my real mothers name, and the place that the fathers name would be was filled as UNKNOWN--When I read that I felt like everything in me was ripped out, I felt complelty empty inside and lost. 

To make things clear---I'm the result of a little to much drinking, and a stranger taking advantage of an intoxicated girl.  Nothing makes you feel more welcomed in the world than knowing your mistake, and were not ment to be.

I guess it bothers me so much because I feel like I only know 1/2 of me, I have no idea if I have any traits of my father, if I look anything like him, or if we have anything in common.  My dad doesnt even know I exsist---it sort of makes me feel like a ghost chasing another ghost, and I know our paths will never cross.

I offten wonder if my dad got married and had kids---I could have another family out there, and I will never know it.

I would give anything to at least have a good picture of him, so I can look at him and see the man that is my father.  I would even be happy with a name, from there I could try to let my imagination come up with who he is, and what he is like.

From a faceless daughter---to a faceless father...I wish I knew you~~~~~

So I havent written a blog in a while, and seeing how alot of things are bothering me right now---this is a perfect time to get anything and everything i want to say out in the open---for those that care to read what I have to say---enjoy....

I recently read an article in the paper---the story was about a mom and a daughter, at first the story seemed innocent enough untill I read further on.  The story was about how this mother helped her very young daughter write and essay about her dad that died in iraq, the essay was for a contest for tickets for a Hannah Montana concert in New York---the grand prize included--tickets to fly to New York---a makeover for the young girl---and the concert of course.  All seemed well and done---but lets get to the good part of the story.  The twist in the story is that the little girl's dad didnt die in Iraq, in fact the guy that the mother and daughter wrote about didnt even exsist, it was alllll a big fat lie---the mother simply said in response--"we did what we had to do to win".  REALLY?  You had to take the time to lie, create this fasle story---teach your daughter some GREAT lifetime values--and take the chance to win away from an honest girl that had a REAL story to tell.  Good job mom!! way to make more youth that are becoming terrible adults, and worthless.

Another story I heard about was on the news---The story was about how kids and teens are lying--cheating, and doing whatever they have to do to "win".  The news anchor asked "whats happening to good ole honesty?"  I guess those good ole morals died with the people of the good ole days.  Todays ethics seemed to be consumed with lies, corupted morals, and a work ethic the size of a fleas brain.  Now dont get me wrong---i'm not saying that every single youngster is like this, I know there are some good ones out there, but they are far and few between.  And they have one hell of a fight ahead of them in this world---look what they are going up against----the liers---and corupted youth that are geting everything they want---and doing whatever they need to get it...  the good youth---get ready---your gonna get screwed!!!

The other day my gf and I went to see a movie--we walked into the theater and it was like high school drama and idiocracy threw up in the seats---the seats were packed with youth of various ages---and all had one thing in common--they were all bitching at each other, complaining how one person couldent sit to the next person cause of somthing that happened a year ago---and they are still pissed at each other.  Then they started to complain about how they couldnt sit so close to the screen, and the one guy--he was bitching about how he had "cramps" and couldnt sit in the seat.  After all this hussle and tussle, and me wishing the place would explode.  The group of young striving youth came to the decision that the movie was just going to be "gay" any way, and decided to go and SNEAK into a different movie.  The rest of the youth settled down---one fine young man decided to hope over the seat and sit next to me---which was no matter to me unstill he decided that the WHOLE armrest was his---then I was pissed.  And it didnt help that he would proclaim how "gay" the movie was every 15mins or so.  So during this fantasic 90 mins of teenage drowning bliss---I thought to myself--what kind of a movie would any of these teens consider to be "good"?  Do anyone of them know the quality of a good movie, storyline, acting. OR is it all about how many tits are shown and how many sex scenes there are, and how much booze is drank or drugs taken, I guess those are the good quality of a movie these days.  Dont get me wrong---I myself enjoy the stupid teen--parody---but after the 100th movie of that type---it gets old!!

And its not only the teens, kids even younger are showing bad behavior that is going to stick with them well into adulthood.  As we left the theater I saw I boy walking briskly leaving the theater with a friend of his.  The boys I would say were maybe 9-12 years old.  I noticed that the one boy had a handful of about 20 dvds in his hand---these are dvds that the theater is giving away to patrons, the dvds have previews of upcoming movies.  Its suppose to be one dvd per person---this boy had taken a stack of these dvds and his was proud of himself for get away with taking so many---he looked as if he had stolen a pair of jeans---which I'm sure he will someday.

It truly boggles my mind how these kids behave these days---they have no manners--morals--ethics---or common courtesty.  I do blame alot of it on the parents---I believe that some kids do what they learn---if they see the parents act a certain way--they will carry this trait on---sad---but so ever true.

Society as we know it is crumbling---the only thing that the majority of people care about is how big their tv is---how new their cellphone is---and how big their suburban is.  Kids these days have just about everything handed to them on a spoon.  Kids younger than 18 have newer cars than anyone I knew growing up---they dont have to pay for it---the parents buy them what they need to keep them quiet---and to get them out of the house so they dont have to deal with it.  GOD forbid if a parent really does some damn PARENTING!!! 

It really is sad that the only way to get anywhere in life is to be an ass---suck up and be a "friend" to someone that can give you those little bonus's that make your life better.  And leave the good hard working people in the dust to clean up after your shit.  It makes me mad!!!  even the clam is dissapointed-->

With alllll that being said---I will lead this blog to an end with my closing thoughts.  It was said not to long ago that "our youth is our future".  I think that should be changed to " our youth is now our future demise"

Best regards

Heather---

SOOOOO, this weekend I'm off to Ames, Iowa for the 7th and 8th hockey game of this year, its our last away game, all Feb we have home games.  At our first game of the year, I scored the first goal, and this last weekend I scored a goal that broke the tie game we had going....It was awesome....The only thing that sucked, was at the last game I crashed into the boards hard and broke my stick, I also went head 1st and 1/2 knocked myself out.....I couldent move or talk  for a few mins....it sucked....but I pulled myself together and got back out on the ice......so....I will try to not do that again this weekend, I bought 2 new sticks just like my last one, I hope I dont break anymore.

PEACE!!!!!!

 <--- my clam army!!!!

What the hell am I doing here on myspace?....I need to be writing a speech among other college final crap....I hate finals, and the way everything happens at once and a person becomes overloaded...whew...

Last night wsa the 1st night of hockey practice, now I'm tired and sore....But it was good for me to get out and hit the puck around for a while and skate...its goood to get the blood flowing.

I think I have totally given up on livejournal...Myspace is my new home for blogging I guess...curse myspace and its addictiveness!  anyway...I'm gonna go write a speech....

Later homies.

Peace out ;)