These events have created an environment where I've really started to analyze who I am, the person I aspire to be and those traits that I NEVER want to embrace; traits that are limiting of people's dreams, personalities, traits that disrespect us as individuals. I have been raised to respect others and the way they choose to live their lives, no matter how different my life may be from theirs. I have been raised to express and exercise unconditional love, to have an open-mind, never to pass judgment on others simply because we disagree. I have been taught to treat and do unto others what you would will someone to you. For most of my life, I've believed the rest of the world can function this way, until now. Never before have I ever thought, wow, sometimes no matter how much light you radiate, other's shun you and are unwilling to step out of the darkness.

I've been learning so much about others out here. But mostly, I've been learning about myself. I've been learning more about the woman I've become, the artist within me, the human being and most importantly my worth. I've always known my worth, but it's always been a challenge to require other's to acknowledge my worth. And I don't say this from a standpoint of ego, simply tuning into my presence and my true purpose. For the most part, I'm so easy going and flexible, people misinterpret that flexibility for naivety. Again, for those who know the life I've lived, you know I'm far from naïve and far from confused. I've known what I've wanted since I realized I was a living, breathing, moving mass of energy. I've worked hard for what I have. I've done things most people consider crazy or absurd. I've lived with money, without money, with real friends and with snakes. I've lost close friends and family way before their time. From darkness to the light…I've survived. I've lived more in my short 23 years than some in their 40's and 50's.

I realize now just how important it is to stand my ground, to never volunteer ANY information, because people will use it against you. I've realized how important it is to set your boundaries and never let people disrespect you in any way, because the bottom line is that we teach people how to treat us. And if you don't require a standard of communication from the start, people will look at you fucking crazy when you've had enough. This is when they say how much you've changed, how aggressive you are, how out-of-order you are. And that's bullshit. That's your own fault for not letting people see all of you from jump.

Today I make a vow to be myself, always. I think I've focused so much on being liked and not wanting to hurt people's feelings that I've accepted less than what anyone back at home would consider acceptable. When people speak to you, they don't care how they express it or worry about how you will feel. They just express themselves and from now on, I will take that into account. Life is too short to be bitter or angry. Life is temporary and tomorrow's not promised. I refuse to be affected by negativity and people who want to change me, "fix" me or make me something I'm not. This is Mauikai. Love me or leave me. If you disagree with me, that's cool. Let's discuss it. You and me. Let's be adults. No alterations accepted :)

Love from the land of chocolate, cheese and freeze!