In between upgrading my computer's operating system and changing my website domain host, I've unfortunately lost a lot of email addresses that were on my mailing list. If you'd like to be notified of my performance schedule, please send me a message with your email address and I'll add you to the new list. An email can be a lot more direct than happening upon news on Myspace.

Please pardon me for losing the list - I have a fairly unsophisticated method for all online communication, so bear with me. If you were on my mailing list in the past and notice you're not receiving emails from me in the next few months, let me know. And as ever, thank you for being an encouragement to me on my path, wherever it's going.

Angela

I am multi-ethnic.

My mother hails from several European areas: England, Ireland, Scotland, Denmark, the Netherlands, Germany, Wales. My father's father emigrated from the Philippines. My father's mother is of Mexican and Native American descent.

But somehow, I tend to get pegged as a "white girl".

Does having too many heritages dilute me? Do they all neutralize into one big misnomer? Am I basically nothing because I am too many ethnicities over the social quota? These are the questions over which I struggle. But how much more lumpia should I eat before I am legitimately part Filipina? How fluently should I speak Spanish while many of my Chicano friends only know broken phrases?

I grew up in a predominantly Mexican community. I tried my best to channel my Mexican-ness. Years later, I joined a predominantly Filipino band. I wanted to be counted as Filipina. You'll notice that I wanted to be considered legitimate in the cultures "of color". Never in my life have people said "ah, you're Irish, do you speak Gaelic?" There is an idea that American white equals little to no cultural identity, at least in Southern California. But I am not "just white". How can anyone--including myself--ask me to pick one of my parents over the other?

See, to me, I answer "multiethnic" and move on. I think it's cool that, over the years, people from all these different regions somehow combined into...me. But most people want to "figure me out"--to peg me as one thing or another, and being mixed is too much information. But I am not a "white girl"--I have too much respect for my Dad and his background (being raised as a migrant farm worker in a Filipino community). And my mom honors her heritage, which makes me proud of my European side. She has actually been asked if she was babysitting my siblings when they were children. Can you imagine how that makes her feel? Like she doesn't belong with her own children.  Years later, people say how much she and I look alike, but she will still clasp me to her side and proclaim, "I know we don't look like we go together but we do."

I haven't gone through some of the persecution that my other family members have in regards to racial identity because I have lighter skin and eye color. But it really irritates me that the COLOR OF OUR SKIN still determines who we are in the public eye.

Race and culture are separate issues. I am culturally American, not Pacific Islander or British or anything else. (Although one of the friends I made on my week-long trip to Lima last year told me--after one conversation--that it seemed to him that I was Peruvian.)  But by ancestry, racially, I am mixed. And I hope that someday people will be okay with that. I know we use labels so we can identify with each other, at least more quickly. But I really respect those who care to know me as Angela rather than analyzing my skin tone and the shape of my eyes. I'm not even talking about being politically correct. I am talking about downplaying the fact that we're different and enjoying the fact that, in these little ways, we are. Not making fun because we're not "ethnic enough". Not making mixed people feel like outcasts from every "established group". Group of what? I dunno, but I'm about to go eat some adobo. And then I think I'll have some apple pie.

-Angela

PS Check out the song "Identity Crisis" by Pigeon John, a hip-hop artist who is half black and half white.
Lyrics
PJ on KCRW (Identity Crisis is toward the beginning)

Edit 8/23/07
My sis, a freelance writer, discusses her experience with social reactions to racial diversity in one of her professional blogs: Can A Diverse Church Be Unified?

More than once, I've been asked to name my favorite or most personally influential singers, usually with a number attached (Top 3!  Top 26!).  The problem with such requests is that the lists appear exhaustive, but such a list is impossible.  There are so many vocalists I have yet to discover, but here is a small sampling of vocal artists I find enticing or important, in the order I recognized them:

1. Mariah Carey: I can't recall an artist prior to Mariah who really caught my attention fully, so I'll say that Mariah's vocal acrobatics piqued my interest in singing.  I am an admitted fan of soul runs.

2. Ella Fitzgerald: She is the queen.  I want to hug her when I hear her smiling voice.  A documentary of her life on PBS was the beginning of my vocal jazz education.  It's no wonder I prefer scatting to lyrics.

3. Dulce Pontes:  A fado singer whose duet with Andrea Bocelli plunged me into a delirious state of wanting to choreograph a dance equally passionate to her insistent yet flexible vocal movements.  There is a quality in her voice that sounds like crying.

4. Lauryn Hill: Where I clarified what soul runs are really supposed to sound like.  Ever powerful in delivery and persona.

5. Bobby McFerrin: I'm not entirely sure when Bobby danced into my consciousness.  Alternating registers on a dime and weaving his own vocal accompaniment, often harmonically sophisticated and inventive, he has done entire tours alone as a solo vocalist.  He represents a fearlessness in experimentation and raw joy to which I am drawn.

6. Kurt Elling: Whether in scatting or his poetic, self-penned vocalese, he spits out notes and words with precision and nuance, all the while maintaining killer groove.

7. Kathleen Grace: Once a colleague at USC, I always admired Kathleen as an artist, but her voice has blossomed into a true vessel of subtly shifting expression that will stop you in your tracks.  If you don't yet know her, meet her.  To me, she represents the wealth of talent amongst my peers.

8. Jane Monheit: I know people have mixed reactions to her, but my first impression was, "wow, that's pretty."  And at the end of the day, there is nothing wrong with pretty.  I'll call her a songstress, as her expressivity borders on theatric, but in a good way.

9. Jeff Buckley: The legend.  From whispers to vibrato-laden cries, almost everything he vocalizes--and writes--is beautiful.  You can feel every slight turn of his emotion because it's all there, in your ears.

10. Raine Maida: The lead singer of Canadian post-grunge band Our Lady Peace.  Recognizable from his controlled use of vibrato to the way he obnoxiously pronounces words--he chews on them and shoots them through his nose.

11. João Gilberto: His phrasing is ridiculous.  Absolutely ridiculous.  (Also in the ridiculous phrasing category is Luciana Souza, actually.)  I must single out João in particular because his front-phrasing always works out, and that sort of thing makes me nervous.

In general: rock singers who don't induce nodes, gospel singers who can handle and yet don't give the impression they're show-boating, and everyone who sings salsa.  More to come.

I have posted a couple of bulletins on this, but unfortunately, it appears to be a persisting condition.

It was about two and half years ago when I injured my hand playing guitar.  At the time, the trigger was a certain hand position, so it was avoidable for the most part.  But after some time, the buzzy sensation began to kick in whenever I played guitar for more than a few minutes.  Taking a break from guitar didn't seem too horrible.  In fact, it is partially what prompted me to record the initial versions of the songs I put up online: the fear of not being able to teach other people to play my songs for me if the symptoms worsened.

They did worsen; everyday activites that necessitated a cupped hand position (i.e. holding a phone or steering wheel) began to invite that same disturbing feeling in my hand, to the point of inability to proceed whatever it was I was doing.  When shooting pains began to appear in my wrist at work (not conducive to data entry!), I knew I had to see a doctor.  Why did I not see one two and a half years ago?  I've gone for similar things over the years only to confirm that I can be a bit of a hypochondriac.

The good doctor said my symptoms suggested carpal tunnel.  Okay, I suspected that, but it's good that someone qualified agrees with me.  I get a bulky black brace, I'm stylin'.  I wear it all the time.  Then my other hand kicks in.  I dig up an old brace from my hypochondriac days and wear it.  I'm feeling like Robocop, but it's okay.  Yet the symptoms are increasing in frequency.  This is where you come in.

Now, I have friends with health problems far more disturbing than hand pain.  So I feel a little silly putting out the call again.  But I need my hands for more than just playing guitar and keys.  And I know too many musicians who had to change careers because of similar conditions.  I ask that you pray for me.  I am not suffering by any means.  And if things persist, I will seek other treatment, of course.  But frankly, it's freaking me out.  So any advice/encouragement/prayer on my behalf is welcome.  I tend to write using guitar, so I definitely have been at a stand-still with songwriting and that portion of my performing life.  Again...it could be worse, and there are ways to work around my current condition, but I'm not welcoming further developments in CT Land.

Thanks for reading this far.  Thanks to everyone who has prayed and encouraged already...I hold on to that!  I hope you're all well.  I look forward to playing more music for you again...

Angela

Cool...I just ran across an interview with Brian Friedland, the other half on my duo album.  Check it out!

I'm listening as I type.  "Someday My Prince Will Come", the first track from our album, plays at the start of the program, followed by commentary on our partnership, followed by the awesome nonet recording of "Will You Be", Brian's completely beautiful original piece, which features the lovely Kathleen Grace.  And then more Brian originals, "Chutes and Ladders" and "Muttonchops", another favorite of mine...definitely something to check out.  He's a talented writer, adept at both complicated and simple musical expression.

Funnily enough, today's Pearls Before Swine aligned with my vain exercise: http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20061108.html

I have two recordings out to date, the most recent of which is a dance single on Tairoc Records (tairoc.com).  You can check out a clip at myspace.com/tairocrecords and you can purchase the original mix, remix, and original instrumental mix for $4.50 online (which includes shipping and handling) at http://www.tairoc.com/index-2.html.  If you come to one of my shows and buy it in person, it's a mere $3.  Keep an eye on WilyMark's work, he's a growing artist and shows great determination.

A full-length jazz album is your other option, featuring pianist Brian Friedland and myself in a duo setting.  The ten tracks included feature some of our original compositions as well as a number of arranged standards.  The album has been greeted with praise, and there are a limited number of copies, so be sure to purchase yours before they run out!  I will also have these at my shows, and if there is enough online interest, will set up a paypal account soon.  Send me a myspace message to place an order for the time being.

Very soon, I will be in studio recording my EP, and after that, there are plans to record with jazz quartet and string quartet in a collaboration with the talented composer, arranger and pianist Ross Garren.  There is much to look forward to, and until then, there is already plenty to listen to.  I hope you'll check it out!

Thank you,
Angela

"You doin' too much, you doin' too much." -from "Revolution", Kirk Franklin

In actuality, I don't know how much I'm doing.  It's hard to gauge when so much of what I do is conceptual.  But rehearsals, problems with the duplication company I used, tinkering with Finale, scheduling, recording, etc. are not what I am here to do.

Of course, they are the means through which I do what I do.  But I feel as though the means is getting exalted and the end is unsatisfying, because it's all in such a rush.  College was supposed to be my haven, where I would grow exponentially and then emerge solidly, the product of four years of happy toil.  This was not the case, because I forgot to factor life into the equation, which is never so straightforward.  I think I'm doing that again.

Doing my best in the given circumstances, I must understand that my best will look different than I expected, being hampered by detail and practicality, while I dream of space, the absence of time, and silence.  When you're trying to do everything to see what works, your best isn't quite the objective, anyway.  People aren't so simple, either...it's not as though we can only offer the world one thing.

I hope, however, that I can someday get to a place where I can focus, cultivate, and express in a way I cannot yet.  "It's a journey after things we cannot see."

Sudan exists largely unnoticed, save for college students sporting plastic bracelets with the imprint "Save Darfur" and some informational websites detailing the genocide occuring in that region.  Within the last couple of years, however, a church in the LA area was given a vision for Sudan orphans, and they have proceeded to build a foundation for the future, starting with the Dinka people in south Sudan.  The smallest of contributions--and awareness--makes a huge difference. 

Visiting Africa, the founder of ELI (Empowering Lives International) was moved and disturbed by the poverty and sickness he observed, realizing that an apparently abandoned, diseased child sleeping in the shade was actually the regional pastor's son.  Returning home, he called upon his church to hold a garage sale, simply selling each household's junk and unwanted items.  The resulting proceeds, about four thousand dollars, was enough to buy a fishing boat that employed not only the pastor he had visited, but seven other people from that village.

We are all faced with people in need, whether we visit Africa or are approached by the homeless in LA.  We've got to think of long-term solutions, not pop dimes in their direction, or hope someone else will take care of it.  No matter where you feel it is most urgent to contribute, please educate yourself on the problem and the solutions that are starting to surface.  If you're interested in more information on the Sudan orphanage, please visit: http://www.marinachristian.org/default2.aspx?pid=6

It is too easy to live alone in a steel cage, surrounded by hundreds of other  people who are driving, all encased in isolation.  To forget the sound of voices, recognizing screen names instead.  To spend entire days in silence.  Efficiency makes us forget human touch and human need.  But we cannot forget.  If we do, we're all lost.

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind..." -John Donne