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Sometimes, just sometimes… we go through some immense pain in our lives that we learn something of ourselves. We learn who we are. Not all people can do this. Trust me. I’ve seen a ton of people get hurt around me yet fall back into the same perpetual bullshit and never really learn from their experience. When you learn this “thing” of yourself it’s the most amazing thing if you could actually step back and notice it. Realize it. Focus on it. And see what it is you did with yourself to be a better person. When I say better person it does not mean help the homeless, give money away, or do favors for people, those are things you should be capable of doing regardless of whatever you have or will go though, that is just a natural way of life to help others in need. But to be a better person, improving yourself. Learning a new language, taking up a sport, going back to school, dressing better, bring your friends back together, learning to write. These are all things that once accomplished you sit back and go “whoa”. My mind had cleared. It has settled. My scars have healed and are starting to fade. Each day passing seems to be more beautiful and I feel like no one else can see it but me. No one takes the time to close their eyes and feel the breeze. To walk through a garden and smell each flower and almost feel that new scent you’ve never taken in before. To listen to a song, not speak one word and listen to each strum of the guitar, each symbol of the drums, every lyric being spit from the vocalist, and let the whole damn thing consume you. let the whole song take you in and make everything else just go away. Wake up early, grab a cup of coffee with someone you care about and watch the sunrise. Take in that early morning scent and remember your childhood, and know how fucking lucky you are to be alive and well off. To have your family and friends who love you. Each day is a gift. Embrace it. Cherish it. Adore it. For one day…… it will be your last. These thoughts consume my mind each day. I try very hard to not let it bring me down, and lately, it hasn’t. I start to smile for all the wonderful things that are around me. My dad has grown to be such an amazing guy. My mother has taught me the meaning of strength. My friends have shown me how much I mean to them. I love them. I never though I would be so lucky to have each and every one of you in my life. You’re all welcome in my home anytime of the day. You need someone to talk to, I’d love to. 4am, who cares. It’s those moments of being half asleep, stumbling to the door and one of your friends asking if he could come in for some coffee and conversation. I need that in my life, that blender of mixed fruits. Each one of you a different flavor, a different mindset. With all of you offering something different to the table. All of you opening up my eye’s to things I’ve never seen before. Fresh, New, inspiring. My life is what it is because of people like you. I’ve been able to see you, inspect you, observe you and see who you are and if you are what I need in my life. Luckily you have made it this far into my life. Luckily I have made it this far into yours. Take that time, it’s sounds so typical but seriously. Take that fucking time. Listen to what everyone has to say. Stop dwelling on your own hypocritical bullshit and take the time to hear your loved ones out. Open your ears, hearts, minds to the possibility of other life out there than your own. You want to pay attention to you, of course. But remember who’s with you, who’s next you, supporting you, listening to you, and try to return that favor with the same respect. Remember the best things in your life. Throw out the negative nonsense and smile. Smile for this is your day. This day is beautiful. This day someone loves you. This day someone needs you. This day you can find the pleasure in something so simple and pure and you can go to sleep with a smile. Go to sleep and dream. Dream about what you want and who you love, and when you wake up. I will be right there to help you. Because I have learned from my pain, and will not let those around me feel that alone. Not ever again.