Psalm 73:25"Whom have I in Heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you." Psalms 73:25 Sometimes my longing for Heaven is sooo strong I don't want to go, do, or see anyone I feel like I'm gonna be attacked , hated, persecuted, and condemned. Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause you believe in a divine creator, you believe that His love is too big for your mind to imagine? cause you know that He can do amazing and miraculous things.... like heal the dying, provide for the poor, and change a depressed and hurting heart to one full of life and joy Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause you'd rather spend time singing to God than singing to billboards top 20 cause you'd rather have friends over for dinner then go roaming the city , looking to impress Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause whenever you hear music about sex drugs party and rock n roll ...etc. your heart gets twisted, offended and angry OR especially whenever you hear a "christian" listen to music about sex drugs party and rock n roll ...etc.  your heart gets twisted , offended and angry Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause all you really want to tell people is how great your Messiah is and how He woke you up this morning, to give you another opportunity cause you really just want to share the joy, hope and grace you've been given share the truth and see freedom found Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause you choose to keep your temple (body) covered, so not to tempt others with lust and to honor it's maker or cause you shout Praise God,or Halleluiah!  every time something good or bad happens ( cause you know God is Victorious in every circumstance)Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause you love people who are poor and cannot give you anything but their thanks cause you're marriage is lived with respect, love, honor and submission and because of your obedience you walk in blessings and favor Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause you can forgive and then give to someone who hurt and betrayed you cause even when your sick and broke, you claim you're well and rich Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny cause when you've been called to go somewhere far away , away from you're home, family , and friends without hesitation....or information , you go. cause when the Spirit says to talk or pray with someone you don't know you obey , and watch miracles happen before your eyes Ever feel like ya just don't fit in here? Like the world looks at you funny Cause you want to go to heaven,............NOW. But want to stay, to live only to worship God with ALL your heart, mind, body, and soul.

1. I am totally and completely in Love with LOVE=GOD! He is my Creator, my Hope, my Salvation, my Peace, my Joy, my Strength, my Comfort, my Provider, my Deliverer, my Safe Place, my Best Friend, my Redeemer, my Wisdom, my Song, my Counselor, my Lord, my Truth, my Reason, my Courage, He is everything Good in me, He is my All in All.

2. I am married to the most amazing man I have ever met, ( besides Jesus of coarse )!
He is Kind, Patient, Gentle, Strong, Charming, Hunky, Smart, Gifted, Responsible, Determined, Organized, Clean, Driven, Inspiring, Romantic, Loyal, Peaceful, Giving, Fun, Cuddly, and Loving!! He's an amazing father,His eyes are bluer than the bluest skies....He is a man of Integrity and is the greatest listener I have ever known! oooh, He's just the Best for me!!

3. I have 2 beautiful, precious daughters who are my sweetest love-bugs :
Joy Shiri( Song of my heart ) born March 28th 2007,
Grace Makayla( Given by God ) born November 6th 2008

4. My awesome church family is:
Family Affair Ministries, our Pastors are Dair and Glenda Gleaves Sutton, who are full of Love Truth and Compassion spending their lives , every day of the week, in the inner city serving the community, by feeding the hungry, helping to create jobs for the jobless, giving hope to the hopeless and loving the unlovable! Teaching, Preaching, Walking, Talking, Living and Giving. They are full of Wisdom and Boldness, Operating totally out of Obedience and Surrender! They Fear God and Worship in Spirit and in Truth. I am soo thankful and blessed to have them.

5. I have always loved singing since I could remember! I have tapes of me singing when I was two..... I also always loved writing my own songs and putting them to any instrumental music I could find! First song I sang was Amazing Grace.........and is my favorite song to this day.

6. I was born in Orange County California, but moved to South Jersey , a few blocks fom the boardwalk when I was a baby....lived there till I was about 11 and then moved back to OC Cali,literally up the street from the ocean, I have been in Nashville TN for 7 years. ( I reeeeally miss the beach :0( )

7. My favorite place is in the presence of God.....I love to worship, thanking Him, singing, praying, dancing, praising, silence, reading, painting, clapping, giggling, crying, beating a drum, strumming a guitar or playing the piano..... giving, serving and loving with His love. I love seeing His power displayed through souls saved and delivered, relationships restored, miracles, signs, wonders, vision and dreams.

8. I can be super goofy, and crack myself up at any random moment - watch out! it's totally unpredictable.

9. Most of my family is Jewish.

10. I Love fishing!I LOVE the ocean!! I spent many days out on fishing boats growing up.

11. I've been skydiving, loved it, and would do it over and over again, if it wasn't so stinken expensive.

12. I LOVE BOBA TEA! It's my favorite drink Ever! It's also a serious addiction.......seriously. :0)

13. I have 2 tattoos

14. When I'm super happy and filled with joy, I giggle and cry at the same time.

15. I've never seen the righteous forsaken.

16. I love making things ( like earrings... check em out on beckahshae.com ), scrapbooking, and painting.....

17. If I could choose anywhere in the whole world to go... it would be Israel, I'm just waiting on God.

18. Fav # is 7, Fav color is Gold, Fav animal is Lion, compare myself most to a Butterfly, Fav flower is Daffodil, Fav food is Sushi, Fav fruit is Pomegranate, Fav perfume is Abercrombe 8

19. Things that marvel me, Jesus on the cross, Gods Unfailing Love, Protection and Grace, seeing a meteor shower in the deserts of Nevada, watching my 2nd cousin being born, watching the waves of the ocean glow, encountering an angel, sunset skies, kissing my husband for the first time, seeing my daughters for the first time, The many ways and times God has displayed His supernatural Provision, Revelation, and Mercy in my life. Miracles, like being sprinkled with gold dust from heaven.

20. My best friend Mandy and I, when we were 12 called each other sister we were soo close, and so decided to make it real by setting up both our single parents and it worked, they ended up getting married!

21. I sang on Jonny Langs record “Turn Around”.

22. I used to be the one that received your used clothes from Salvation army, and got your generous presents for a child in need on Christmas.

23. I played bells in 7th grade, and we once played over the Grand Canyon. ( so cool )

24. I sang in a Blues/Rock&Roll band in Vegas for almost a year.

25. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I spent last night in the ER @ Vanderbuilt Hospital, with my new 2 month old baby Grace last night, we had to take her because her RSV got to the point of choking/gagging our pediatrician told us to go immediately. We had family and many friends lifting her up to the Father and praising with us for her healing and by the time I got a room and a doctor… she was sleeping soundly in my arms and they listened to her lungs telling me they sounded clear! Halleluiah!! She still had a cough and for safety sake we were admitted. As I spent the night alone with her in this room, I stared into my beautiful precious daughters eyes and began praising God for His faithfulness, I became consumed in thanksgiving and my Fathers Love overwhelmed me, which leads me today to this blog.

I Just Gotta Be Real, I Just Gotta Testify, I Just Gotta Praise!!!!
Be Blessed ( empowered to prosper ).

GODS LOVE: ( My perception/definition/explanation ):

AMAZING GRACE
that saved a wretch like me,
I once was Lost! But now I’m Found
was Blind but NOW I see!!!!

I think back to my caterpillar days/ old ways,,….
and the many times I could have been killed/destroyed, or maybe should have,
from stealing moms car with my sister @ 13 and almost hitting a school bus, hitchhiking in the most dangerous county in California, getting picked up by random thugs and taken to their apartment unwillingly, jumping in on the club to the rave scene, experimenting with drugs and ending up in the hospital and suicidal, Being just barely missed by a couple bullets standing in the crossfire outside a club, countless drives with those under the influence. I gave myself to the world, I became promiscuous, full of lust to eventually give away my purity, I was full of anger even leading to a couple fist fights, I became depressed, hating everything about myself from my appearance to who I was. I tried to find peace with myself by aiming to find acceptance through others, to meet the expectations of “ Hollywood”. I started taking every diet pill imaginable, even worked @ a pharmacy specializing in Fen/Phen, I got a job @ 24 HR Fitness working out for countless hours from late nights till early morning, attempting to quicken my results I gave bulimia a run until it began to rot my teeth and give me throat infections, moved to ex-lax, until I was bent over with stomach ulcers. I was insecure and had a horrendous self-image, I could not smile, or laugh unless it was to please someone else. I could not even sing, because I was too concerned with how others perceived me. I became paranoid and consumed with my thoughts of inadequacy, I started to have anxiety attacks frequently, making me feel delirious, and stressed. I was BOUND, as hard as I tried could Never measure up. I could not find a place, because I did not know my own identity, I jumped from every crowd in the most “outer”extreme way, from the Preppy school girl, to a Chola, crunchy hair, black lipstick, creased dickies, nike cortez gangsta, ( Oh and did I had the accent! ), Raver glitter princess, 5ft platforms, 500 flyers in the glove compartment, to the Hip Hop scene ,with my 3x too big shirts and ridiculous pacifier necklaces, dance competions, ( Ghetto accent ) then “Clueless” with the thigh highs and mini skirts, white collar shirts, bleach blonde hair with highlights and “like” being said every other word, to Grunge….ripped jeans, doc martins, old T’s, flight jacket, to the hippy, bell bottoms, flip flops, tank-tops, then Biker, black, black, biker boots, bracelet, leather jacket, to Southern Rock girl, with the fringe jacket, boots, turquoise, and guitar…..even moved to Vegas and sang in a southern rock/blues band, Then got into Swing, with headlight hair, cherry red lipstick, creepers to old cars and tattoos and swing clubs,……? Who was I? I had low self-esteem, with a man pleasing spirit, searching for a place, I was full of anger, hurt, depression, insecurity, I was a gossiper, a jezebel, manipulative, unhappy and selfish, I was ignorant and weak, my eyes were closed and I lacked patience, and self- control…..

I was FILTHY, YUCKY, DIRTY, UGLY, UNWORTHY, UNDESERVING

I grew up in households of broken families infested with sin, perverse spirits, alcohol and drugs, full of anger and physical and verbal abuse. I was very familiar with prison and jail visiting family members. I’ve been taken more than several times by the state and into foster homes. I’ve spent time in hotels, battered woman shelters and hideaway homes. I’ve had a lot of hard times, witnessed a lot of hurting people, families, and those in need. I could have been damaged from all I’ve seen, experienced, heard and done, but my Father God never left me! In fact He fervently pursued me, He always had an angel protecting me, He was my comfort and peace and His love was Always my safe place.


But see when I made the decision to lay my life down, indulge myself in truth and obedience and surrender, He gave me a mirror to see myself and all the bad that I couldn’t see before, the more I saw myself in all it’s sin, the more His Grace began to shine more and more brilliantly to me, until it brought me to my knees in overwhelming gratitude and worship. When I finally stepped into Holiness, I was born-again, delivered and became planted in Christ. This time He gave me another mirror and I found my true identity, I finally saw me! The way He sees me!

WOW! Awesome!! Who am I?
To be taken as I was, to be made clean, all sins forgotton, pardoned, redeemed.
I’ve been blasted with love, forgiven and set free!!!! I now am FULL of Joy, I can laugh and sing all day! I am accepted by God and confident. Best of all I am full of His LOVE!!! I have patience and self-control, I know I am beautiful, and aim only to please my God, unconcerned with others who perceive me as anything other than who He says I am.
And here I am today……A butterfly, as BECKAH SHAE!!!!!!!! LOL HALLELUIAH!!!

I’ve often wondered if sometimes people may look at me and see the New me and not realize if I’ve ever been through hard times or that I am a horrible sinner saved by Grace, so….just wanted to make it extra clear and be sure to TESTIFY!! Haha Also, I never ever want to forget who I was, because there was a price. Here I am to testify the Power of God , His Love and Grace beyond measure.

I will not forget the fragile body that was slain
I will not forget the sacrifice of blood He gave
I will not forget How is faithfulness remains
I will not forget………for His Love keeps me Amazed!

I can simply get sooo caught up in my salvation and deliverance, that it’s challenging to ever get to the latter……So as if this Amazing Grace wasn’t enough, let me finish my Praise. I go further now to tell you of his favor, blessings, in my being made a daughter of a King, my rights and inheritance. I am royalty, seated in heavenly places, given authority and wisdom, I’ve been given the keys to hidden places an secrets are made known to me. I believe, God is, therefore I believe in all He can do. I am bound now only by faith, hope and love! I can see God now in everything, from the rising sun to the starry hosts at night, in my husbands eyes, and every glance at my precious babies, He is everywhere, Do you see Him? He will show you if you ask, if you seek Him with All of your heart, you WILL find Him.

When I decided to seek and follow God with all of my heart, I was even more and more blessed! Everywhere I’d go I found favor, from front row seats and free tickets to first-class. I was picked for raffles and drawings, chosen for special things, places and by people. I had invitations to exclusives, private parties, and VIP positions. I desired to please my Savior and He gave me what ever I asked! If it was in His will, bringing Him Glory, bringing me in His presence or bringing others in His presence….it was mine/ it was done!! J I would LOVE to get real specific, but that would involve me having to write a book….lol So for those of you still reading, Praise God , haha, hope your getting blessed! I’m just gonna share of few other fun miracles and ways that God has shown me his love. I’ve known family and friends to be healed from, pain, anxiety, cancers, straightened backs, tumors gone, hearing restored, failed diagnosis of cerebral palsy, blindness, and paralysis!! Oh and more!!! I have friends who have received golden teeth from God! I have been sprinkled with gold dust from heaven while just hanging out in the Glory! I have friends who have had the annointing come as oil pouring through the palms of their hands. I have seen prophetic word after word come to pass, I have heard angels singing in the studio and in a tabernacle with my husband, MY HUSBAND!! He is a miracle! It would take another blog to describe all of the goodness of our marriage and love. We knew very soon we were going to be married, there was no time for a year of dating and saving up $$ for a ring, we wanted to remain pure and honor Him, therefore giving no man a reason to question, so through the Holy Spirit, God placed a $2,500 ring in my hand almost immediately after asking Him for it!! God ( My Father ) also provided our most incredible and beautiful wedding in Nashville @ Opryland Hotel, when we didn’t have a dime to spend and topped it with a dreamy honeymoon in Cancun all payed for!!! He knew our marriage was the first ministry. We began working on music together and almost instantly found favor with radio stations and industry professionals. I remember desiring to meet favorite musical influences and ministers and God creating supernatural divine appointments and have met almost every one. My husband needed equipment for his studio, had prophetic words from people who did not even know him or his desires ….and they came to pass. He received not only the exact computer, program, beat machine etc….but the very COLOR he desired!!! I remember sitting in the car chatting with my husband about a desire for a piano…to play and worship the Lord at home, and while we were yet still speaking in the car, received a phone call from a friend who called to tell us they wanted to give us their piano!!! And again was the very color we wanted!!! I desired to go to a Worship conference that, between taking off work and spending $ on airfare, hotel and registration seemed almost impossible so I asked my Daddy and a few weeks later the very speaker I wanted to see at the conference was supernaturally introduced to my music and ended up contacting Me! To have me come and minister through music and worship, which would mean everything payed for along with being payed!!!! WHAT?!! I wanted a rocking chair when I had Joy..I spent hours online searching for the specific one I wanted…, Shoc told me we couldn’t afford it at that time, a week later a friend brought the exact chair I wanted over as a gift !! Oh he's done sooo much more! From the littlest things only God knows. God KNOWS the desire of our hearts, and Oh how He loves to give us good things!! Heehee I’ve been soo full of the Lords goodness and Joy many times I became as though drunk with giggles and laughter to the point of crying, and falling to the floor!It’s so much fun! From dreams….visions, signs, wonders, miracles, provision, strength, peace, and Joy…..God loves to love through these!!! I believe when I hear about those being raised from the dead, those receiving gemstones from heaven, those literally feeling the fire of God, seeing angels, hearing audible voices of God, THERE IS NOTHING GOD CAN NOT DO !!! If it brings Him Glory than He can and will do it!! He wants us to know Him, to encounter him in a real way. Do YOU Believe? He wants our lives to be a Testimony of His LOVE!! You can hear, and learn everything there is to know about a person, maybe even see them from a distance, it doesn’t mean you KNOW them. But until you encounter them face to face and hang out with them talk with them and walk with them can you really KNOW or experience who they are in a real way. Ask Him to make Himself Known to you in a real way, If you don’t feel He has, He will meet you, and Show you!! Haha

He Loves you soooo much. Don't give up believing....even if it takes a while, even years maybe! I am still believing for many of my loved ones to find salvation....There are many who have not received healing, or have ever experienced some of these miracles I have shared, If you are still waiting on God, if you are walking through dark places or have never experienced these miracles for yourself, You are NO less loved or redeemed or precious to Him. God has his timing ...and we may not understand fully his plan, But we can remain Sure of what we hope for and certain of what we cannot see. Hang in there and keep trusting Him fully, HE IS FAITHFUL!! And so are You if you can Believe Him through the toughest of times and without any miracles! Be encouraged!!! Armor Up, With your Helmet of salvation, your breastplate of righteousness, your belt of truth, sword of the spirit, shield of faith and shoes of peace.

Last one:
In the last few months of 2008, God began to speak to my husband and I concerning our finances. I had a vision one day during the worst economic frazzle, that God handed me a $30,000 check. I became consumed for the next few hours on what I could do with this $$$, the more I thought about it, it became more real, as though it was already in my hand. I heard God tell me He couldn’t give me this $, if I didn’t have a plan. I called my husband and shared with him what had taken place that day, he told me that was about the amount of our debt and when I hung up the phone I received a letter at the door….curiously opened it to find a $5,000 check!!! Who! That was pretty instant and we weren’t expecting this money. We found out later that it was a little advance for Shoc to produce a record for a friend. A few days later we were on a trip to see family and the thought of $$$ consumed my mind…I began thinking about our debt. I knew we had debt….we were paying it faithfully, yet my heart was never burdened by it, until Now. In every area of our lives we were aiming to love, serve, glorify and honor God. We were faithful with all our bills, always paying on time, remaining faithful in our our tithing, and were even partnered and giving to several other ministries, giving was fun,in fact I particularly remember sowing a couple of times when it maybe didn't seem to make sense at the moment, but obeyed,.... everything seemed to be in line……….But THIS ( debt ).We couldn't even remember or conjure up how we got to this point ? It was carried into our marriage from before. So...I was sitting at a table with an unsaved family member who began to question how our finances were…we responded with our goals to be debt free, and a sudden shame overtook me. Here I wanted them to see Gods love, victory and power in and through our lives, and the debt just didn’t measure up. On our way home I began to share and pour out my shame and burden over this debt with my husband, he was definitely in agreement, we both ended up in a deep shower of tears full of regret and sincere repentance. Crying out for God to forgive us for getting ourselves in that place and to help us as we would do our best to listen and obey …a sudden sweet grace began to take shames place, untill the entire car seemed different, nothing changed, but it felt as though it was a new day. When we got home our church started a corporate 21 day fast, We sought wise counsel and spent lots of time in prayer and praise for Gods wisdom during this time. Shoc and I also spent hours going over all of our finances, our debt and our income…exhausting all ways to work harder and cut out unnecessary costs in order for us to be more responsible and conquer this! We began putting our faith and talk to work and action. The devil was mad! And tried to throw us off coarse and discourage us a few times, but we knew we were on track by the word and awesome confirmations. By the end of the fast, the day after to be exact, our friend who was wanting Shoc to produce his record came to visit and took us to dinner at the steak house haha, and when we got home he expressed to Shoc that He wanted to pay Him $30,000 for 6 songs!!! WHAT!! That was our debt!! And we received it later that week! Halleluiah! I expected God to help us and give us wisdom….but instead HE CANCELLED OUR WHOLE DEBT in a few weeks, I thought it would take years!! WOW! We did not deserve it by any means, we were willing to work extra hard, and sacrifice…but God chose to set us free!! His grace covered us, His love abounds!! We want to be givers not borrowers and will remain debt Free!! Haha I believe because of our repentance , Gods grace and our new commitment this is the reason More doors have begun to open up, promotions, along with random checks in the mail. We were given wisdom concerning different areas of our finances and protected us revealing some dangerous places in particular relationships regarding our ministry. He confirmed all we had asked and prayed and has been blessing us beyond measure!! And to end it sweetly……gave us our 2nd baby girl “ Grace Makayla “ November 6th Halleluiah!

I hope his encourages you, blesses you and stirs you up! To know there is a God who loves you So! He is waiting for you to Seek Him and Believe so your faith may be activated! And when you begin to remember All the miracles and ways He has made himself known to you throughout your life…..TESTIFY!!! This is how we overcome the world!! Amen
The enemy may rise up against you, falsely accuse you, slander you, condemn you attempt to endanger your reputation, form weapons against you, discourage you, attack you and hate you. He is out to steal from you, kill you and destroy you.
But…..Ha Ha Ha…. If God is for you
WHO can be against you?!!


Be encouraged! God is Good and He’s good to YOU!
If you are in a place that is not so easy.....take some time and enter His gates with thanksgiving, just as I did....His Spirit will begin to remind you of all His Goodness in your life and before you know it you will find Joy!
and possibly even way more than you expected :0)
THEN: Open your mouth and tell of the goodness of the Lord!!

This is super duper Looooong, If you read it, Pleeeease leave a lil comment :0)


All My Love,
BECKAH SHAE

Its me Beckah Shae here!! November 16th 2008, and it's been 2 1/2 days since we've arrived home with our little amazing Grace Makayla Shocklee. She was born November 6th @ 8lbs 13oz. She is beautiful and sweet. She looks a lot like Joy but a Shoc version, with red hair and long toes, heehee. And of coarse the most precious smile you've ever seen. Along with a side of slight giggle :0)

Ok, so here is my testimony from the past couple weeks…..and I'm keepin it real….

This has been one of the most exciting, beautiful and yet most difficult 2 weeks of my entire life. Our little Grace gave us quite a scare at the hospital, she had a hard time breathing and turned blue shortly after a feeding on her 1st day here!!! Followed by a couple more spells they sent her to the Intensive Care Unit, where she got oxygen, IV, xrays, swallow tests and pokes for 6 days, the longest 6 days of my life…. seriously. It felt like months. I was a bit traumatized by it all, just having given birth, exhausted, with painful postpartum contractions, and my body…well, moms you know all the other stuff in all the other places. Thankfully my mom was here to help with Joy. I was with Grace every second I was allowed….I followed her to the room where they took her and I watched every nurse and doctor as they attempted to find the cause for her choking. It was so hard to not be able to just touch her at any moment I wanted to. I watched as they poked her tiny little brand new body to give her IV and take her blood and while she screamed I just sang over her and prayed, with my heart sitting at the bottom of my chest. It was soo difficult to not have her in my arms, close to me, to feed her and sing songs of heaven over her. The room, filled with beeps and high pitch sounds from all the equipment, I just wanted to give her a little set of headphones so she could hear sweet sounds of lullabies and worship. The nurses all did a great job, yet they must of thought I was the most annoying mom EVER!! I watched over their shoulders as they did every little thing, from the diaper changes to the assessments, and if Grace even squirmed a tiny bit, I was on edge as if they were not being gentle enough with her…... And just when I got comfortable with a nurses…it was time for a shift change… :0( and it would start all over again. I felt like I HAD to be there to let the new nurse see me, ( MOM ) with my face squished to the side of Graces bed, so they would take extra special care of my baby… There was only a 2 hr period that I could not be in the room with Grace it was from 6-8 in the morning and at night, that is when I would try to go and find some rest. although I'm not sure how much I found. A normal stay at the hospital would be 2 nights, I got to stay for 4. They called the extra 2, courtesy stays because I had a baby in the ICU, but when they told me I had to go the next night….between my stingy eyes from exhaustion, drowsiness from pain pills, hormones and everything else….I sorta freaked out and had a few anxiety attacks…. Dizzy, uncontrollable crying and not being able to catch my breathe, as if life had just ended!! I was a mess!

I have to tell you….it took the Holy Spirit, my husband, my pastor, and a lil journal to write in….to bring me back to strength. Here, I thought I was pretty strong…haha. I can't imagine life without Jesus!! He is my comfort, peace, joy, strength, healer, safe place, faith, hope, song, Oh and soooooo much more…
As I had my husband love on me and sooth me with his love, prayers and encouragement, my pastor came to visit me several times with gifts, food, wisdom and power prayers and when I finally broke out my lil journal and began to just jot out my feelings….God used the Holy Spirit to speak to my heart and open my eyes!!! Had to get my sight set back on Jesus!!!

I was so overwhelmed with Grace….She was my world and I could not see much else around me, but God was showing me how trusting in him with all of my heart, and leaning not on my own understanding and acknowledging Him in all things will allow me to not only see beyond my own concerns but to see the concerns of others. He is LOVE. Oh how good is our God!! Full of tender mercies, His faithfulness endures forever, and his grace is sufficient. I began to notice the other babies, and not being able to stand by their beds I could hear the cries of their moms and dads who lived 2 hours away and could not be there like me, I could see the preemies weighing only 2lbs and with tubes in their nose and throats the whole works, I could hear the nurses talking about severe cases in several of these little newborns..I could hear the screaming baby 3 beds down crying just to be held…by his parents who live so far away and has spent already 2 1/2 months in the hospital, some of these babies were here and were going to be here for a long while. Then the Lord brought to my remembrance my precious sister who birthed two 3 month premature miracle babies weighing one pound each…My heart grew a whole new appreciation for what she endured and yet I still can't really imagine what it must have been like, she is definitely one of my heroes. My heart grew with compassion. My situation with Grace became less and less horrifying and my prayers seemed to shift towards the other babies and their families. When I would look at Grace I would see a healthy full-term baby full of life and smothered in love and prayers….I was rejoicing over her health and future and praised God I only needed to be at the hospital for a week. Praising God she would be ok, was ok, I fought fear with Faith!!!

Changing my focus was soo rewarding…. during my stay at the hospital from the labor to the going home with Grace…I had the opportunity to pray with several families and nurses and encourage them in faith! Even bless them with some Beckah Shae tunes ! haha Here I was a total mess and God still used me!
His strength is perfect, when my strength is gone, he carries me when I can't carry on, raised in His power the weak become strong…His strength is perfect, His strength is perfect!!!!

Although I think about how if only I would have been more together, how God could have used me even more, I'm thankful for His Lessons, His Grace, Faithfulness and Strength!!! What a Journey!

I learned:

When circumstances or situations seem to come against you….to believe God and pray…………………….for someone else. :0)
It really works! Haha
Already having the knowledge of the Victory in Christ is where lies my perfect peace. My hope is in Him, whom or what shall I fear?
The confidence in knowing I am His and He is mine gives me the strength, courage and desire to just be free, be me, and have a heart after His people to Love them with the same compassion. I love His LOVE!!!!

( 2 Corinthians 9:8 )
And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Halleluiah!! I am soo happy we are home….I will continue to update…
Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to all my amazing friends who sent prayers, texts, messages, gifts, and yummy food our way, we are soo blessed to have you in our lives and can't tell you enough how much every ounce of encouragement meant during this time.

Tons of Love!
BECKAH SHAE

Here it is guys,
For the past few years I've just posted my own small page of collected research....But today I feel responsible to allow you to research for yourself.

Choose this day whom you will serve!!!

My heart and prayer for all of you is that you will choose Life, the God who loves you without measure!! Instead of Parties, candies and costumes, etc. , Be filled with His Love, Joy and Peace.....and in persuit of Holiness!

Oh, please believe me it is far more worth it.
Satans strategy will always tell you your missing out on something, or to convince you that he doesnt exist! He is known as the Father of lies, He is a deciever!!!
and is out to ultimately destroy you!!
Please take this " day" seriously because followers of darkness are!
It is a night for those of us who claim to be set apart to really be in spiritual warfare mode, We should be praying against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." (Ephesians 6:12)

I hope some of these websites release revelation to you, concerning the truth of what is going on.....

There is soo much more, I encourage you to look even further for yourselves, seek out TRUTH and righteousness, for there is a reward!! Wisdom!!!


1. http://themoralcollapseofamerica.blogspot.com/2008/10/halloween-does-not-belong-to.html
2.http://www.eliyah.com/hallween.html
3.. http://lifeandtruth.com/halloween.htm
4. http://cyberwordoftruth.blogspot.com/2008/10/truth-about-halloween.html
5. http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/halloween.html
6. http://www.hstreasures.com/articles/halloween.html
7. http://www.libertytothecaptives.net/candy_coated_halloween.html
8. http://www.lasttrumpetministries.org/tracts/tract_2.html


A testimnoy of an ex-satanist:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9W4KxDKd3A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HLTvhtvFfU


For this is the day the Lord has made!! I will rejoice and be glad in it!
I will be home with my family worshipping the God of Glory, and Love!!
We will be surrounded by angels and basking in the fullness of His Goodness! With Heavenly Music, Sweet fellowship, Sharing in the Word of Life, Overwhelming Love, Unspeakable Joy, & Peace that surpasses All understanding.

And the Lord invites you too to His banqueting table, tonight!
Please, accept His invitation. Oh how He loves you!!!!!


All my Love,
BECKAH SHAE

Amazing Grace!!!

How Sweet the sound...
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm FOUND!!!
I was blind, but now I SEE!!!!!!

I trade these ashes in for beauty,
And wear forgiveness like a crown,
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy,
I lay every burden down.

Halleluiah Mighty God for your Loving kindness,
For your Mercy,
and Amazing Grace.

Here I am, just days away from meeting my beautiful daughter from heaven Grace Makayla!! I'm soo thrilled to meet her finally face to face and tell her how much I can't wait to spend the rest of my life loving her. I know she will be a joy just like her sister and most of all a precious angel, a vessel of Gods awesome Glory!!

His goodness overwhelms me, and I am in awe of his loving mercy and grace. I know that every time I say her name or look her way I will be reminded of His love towards me. For I have been soo imperfect and flawed yet to send and trust me with such beauty and pure joy from heaven into my life I am awestruck. So undeserving yet I feel soo privileged and honored to have such a wonderful husband and children.



I have decided to share with you all how God has been magnifying His grace to me,.....

The word grace (in Hebrew, chen; in Greek, charis) appears 166 times in the Word of God. It is basically charity, a free gift of benefit, favor, and blessing.

The root meaning of the Hebrew word is beauty or favor. The root meaning of the Greek word is to rejoice, be cheerful, and is foundational to the words charisma and charismatic.

God's grace is unmerited, unearned, and undeserved favor, blessing, kindness, mercy, forgiveness, and love, which only comes from God. The only grace of lasting benefit is sovereign grace.

Of all God's gifts, His grace, as expressed in the person of Jesus Christ, is His greatest love gift of them all.
John 1:14 says, "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth. "



This word grace is the one major element that separates Christianity from all other religions. While many other religions have so many requirements and rules that they must follow to gain their gods love, or their going to be with their god when they die. They must always earn their gods love or work at keeping it.
Grace simply stated, is God giving us a free gift that we do not deserve. It is His loving kindness to us, because it is given without regard to worth or merit. The awesome thing is that we can't do anything to make God love us any less or any more. We don't have to be successful to be loved. We don't have to fulfill certain obligations to be loved. We don't have to do good works to be loved. We are loved by God through grace, because we can't do anything to earn His love. Why? Because we are already pleasing to Him once we receive Christ's forgiveness. In other words, grace says you can't earn it, I give it. It says you've failed, that's all right, I am here to help you.

I have nothing good to offer God. It is God who is loving, kind, merciful, and full of grace. It's all God's grace! Oh to live in His grace, for God is wonderful and gracious beyond our wildest dreams. Halleluiah!!! Thank you Oh God!!!!

I have been learning:
Only when we grow in grace and the knowledge of Christ, and increase in faith, will I also increase in forgiveness and mercy. I need greater faith, greater love for God and greater appreciation of God's grace, in order that I may rise to this level of practicing unlimited forgiveness to my own brothers and sisters. I have been soo deeply hurt and wounded from those close to me recently, and God has brought to my remembrance the goodness and fullness of yet His Amazing grace. Oh how this could be the only source of strength to change my heart from that of justice, judgement, hurt, or bitterness to one of mercy and forgiveness. I found this amazing example, and it sooo planted peace in my heart:

THE PARABLE OF THE UNFORGIVING SERVANT
Jesus told a parable to his disciples. (Matt. 18:23-35) There was a king, representing the King of heaven, to whom people owed great debts. A man who owed 10,000 talents was brought before him. The words used to describe this debt demonstrated its enormity. Ten thousand was the highest number in daily use, and the talent was the highest unit of money. Although it is not specified, we can also assume that the talents were made of gold. The debt in today's values: would be about $3.6 billion.
The idea is this: that this man's debt was infinite, and he was absolutely incapable of paying it. In the same way, the debt we owe God is of infinite proportion.
This man could not pay up, and the great king commanded that the servant, his wife, his children, and all he owned be sold to cover the debt. The man fell down before the king. "'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'" (Matt. 18:26) Of course, he could not do that. It was impossible, and the king knew it. We are told, though, that the king was moved with compassion to release the man and forgive him all his debt. The man was free! He owed absolutely nothing. Through the king's great mercy alone, he was forgiven his infinite debt.
But in Matthew 18:28 we see the forgiven man looking for a fellow servant who owed him 100 denarii, which would today equal about $4,000. Compared to his own infinite debt, this was nothing! But when he found the man, he grabbed him, choked him and demanded his money. This other man also fell down and begged for patience. But the forgiven servant was not moved by any kind of compassion. His heart had not been changed in any way by his master's merciful actions. Even though the debt was comparatively nothing, he showed no mercy and threw the man into prison until the debt could be paid.
The great king was told about this wretched man's cruel behavior. "Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'" Then the master dealt with the unforgiving man according to law instead of mercy. "In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed." Then Jesus made this stunning declaration: "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." (Matt. 18:32-35) Jesus answered Peter's question: "You have received unlimited mercy from God through me; therefore, you must demonstrate unlimited mercy."

We are All God's debtors.
"all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Rom. 3:23)
"There is no one righteous, not even one." (Rom. 3:10)

Psalm 40:12 "For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me."

This is a good description of our situation. We are born sinners. We practice sin every day and commit an unmeasurable amount of sin during the course of our lifetime. All are debtors to the infinite, personal, almighty, all-holy God. No one can pay back this infinite debt. It is impossible!

Psalm 49:7-8
"No man can redeem the life of another or give to God a ransom for him-the ransom for a life is costly, no payment is ever enough."

Jeremiah 2:22
"Although you wash yourself with soda and use an abundance of soap, the stain of your guilt is still before me."

Our sin against God is an infinite debt that we cannot possibly pay back.
There is only one way of settling this debt now. In his mercy, God sent his Son to redeem us from our infinite debt.

Matthew 20:28
"Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Romans 3:24
We were ransomed, we were redeemed by Jesus Christ.
2 Cor. 5:21
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."
Isaiah 53 "Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness,"
but at the same time,
Heb. 9:22, 10:4
"it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins."

It is only the blood of Jesus Christ that is able to cover and blot out our sins forever and ever.
Oh, the beauty of forgiveness based on repentance and faith in Christ!

Psalm 103:12
"as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Isn't that wonderful?
Isaiah 43:25
"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more." He blots them out!
Psalm 130:4
"But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared."
Micah 7:18-19
"Who is a God like you, who pardons sins and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."

We NEED to be merciful. No one who has truly received forgiveness from God will act toward others based on justice. We need to fear God and live on the basis of mercy.

Matt. 5:7
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."

I want to live, not on the basis of justice, but in mercy toward those who sin against me!!!

The forgiven must forgive. I believe that our forgiving others is the proof that we have been truly forgiven.

In Luke 7:36-50. Jesus was invited to dinner by a Pharisee named Simon, but he was not properly welcomed when he arrived. He was not given any water to wash his feet, nor the customary welcoming kiss, nor the anointing oil usually given to honor a guest. But while he was there, a woman who had lived a wicked life came to the house. She had received mercy and forgiveness, and when she came to Jesus, she washed his feet with her tears of joy, dried them with her hair, kissed them again and again, and poured expensive perfume out upon him. So Jesus asked Simon: "Two men owed money to a certain moneylender. One owed him five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. Neither of them had the money to pay him back, so he canceled the debts of both. Now which of them will love him more?" And very reluctantly the correct answer came: "The one who had the bigger debt canceled."

Halleluiah!! This is me! This is me!
I have been wicked, a horrible sinner, too much to note, and although I am new and forgiven, I must NEVER forget my sin, the cost, the cross.

We have been forgiven an infinite debt! If we could just understand how great that debt was, we will overflow with love and gratitude for our merciful Lord, and we will overflow with mercy towards each other. How dare we not live in forgiveness and in mercy! I adore you OH God for showing me this mercy!!! For healing my broken heart. I never ever want to forget the cross, upon which you displayed your infinite love! I know I cannot understand the length or the width or the height or the depth of it. This love is absolutely incomprehensible! Please keep it fresh in my heart and in my mind.

In my personal time of brokenness before the Lord I have taken all of my hurt, layed it down and asked him to show me how to see, to give me supernatural wisdom, knowledge and understanding on any ways that I could have been an offense, then to please forgive me for the things revealed! Mercy!! Oh what freedom!! I am soo thankful for the God who sees me!! He heals and restores! He loves a true, sincere, and repentant heart! And I LOVE His GRACE!!!!


Thanks! If your still reading all of this, this is for you:

If you have any bitterness in your heart towards others? I caution you, such bitterness will affect your health and welfare. When our heart is rotten, our whole body suffers. When you forgive, you will experience the truth of this wonderful promise found in Isaiah 58:8:
"Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard."
If you forgive from your heart, this will be your experience. JOY!!!!


I feel that many of us have allowed a thief to steal the truth of grace and love from us. Whether it's because we feel that we need to do good works to recieve grace, to be perfect, to do more or do better. The thief can also be those in our lives that make us feel unworthy or inferior. They make us feel we cannot or do not please them. They may accuse or bring up the past to keep you bound to guilt. If you allow others to do this you can sometimes relate how they think of you, to how God thinks of you. This takes away your knowledge of the true meaning of grace, and the awesome love of your Father in Heaven. Continue searching your own hearts, be sincere before the Lord in repentance and be sure and know that He has given you wisdom and then remember there is no condemnation in Christ!!! Whether or Not a brother or sister chooses to extend grace and mercy towards you, you can be assured that the God of Grace abounds!!! He will perfect all that which concerns you. Take your peace, and take your confidence in the One who goes before you and fights on your behalf and then Please, Please, put this thief behind the bars of grace and leave him there. Ha!


You are loved by God in an awesome way!!!!
His love flows continually just for you.
You are pleasing and acceptable in God's eyes just as you are.
Please remember Grace means that you do not have to feel guilt by believing you aren't good enough, doing enough or are not pleasing enough. You already have peace with God, you are pleasing to God, and you are loved by God, because of Gods' GRACE. Best of all the foundation of grace is built on our rock, Jesus Christ, He Paid it all! An Infinite Debt! And we are now FREEEEEE!!! WooHoo!!! Halleluiah

With All my Love &
Forever In His Grace,

BECKAH SHAE

I posted a new song,
I wanted to share with you my testimony of where it came from.....
So here goes......



Ok .....
I awoke from a dream and couldn't remember a thing....
except for this word!!!

"HEPHZIBAH"

Never remember hearing this word ever!!! in my life!!!
I was eager to research and discover it's meaning.....
After resounding in my head !! Screaming!! find me !! find me!!

I finally found it!!!


Isaiah 62
1 For Zion's sake I will not hold My peace,
And for Jerusalem's sake I will not rest,
Until her righteousness goes forth as brightness,
And her salvation as a lamp that burns.
2 The Gentiles shall see your righteousness,
And all kings your glory.
You shall be called by a new name,
Which the mouth of the LORD will name.
3 You shall also be a crown of glory
In the hand of the LORD,
And a royal diadem
In the hand of your God.
4 You shall no longer be termed Forsaken,
Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate;
But you shall be called HEPHZIBAH, and your land Beulah;
For the LORD delights in you,
And your land shall be married.
5 For as a young man marries a virgin,
So shall your sons marry you;
And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
So shall your God rejoice over you.

There it is!!! there in verse 4!!!
Did ya see it? Did ya hear it? Aint it sweet?



God has a word which expresses the tenderness of His love for us. It is "Hephzibah," which means, "my delight is in her." The love that God has to His bride, the church, gives Him delight.

When you read in the Bible in the book of the Song of Solomon, you read of God's love and His delight for His church in terms which almost make us blush. Just like your children, perhaps, when they see Mom and Dad hug and "be silly," and a smile comes over their face when they see the tenderness of that love, so also God has a tender and wonderful love for His people. He calls us "Hephzibah, my delight is in her."

The word "Hephzibah" is found in only two places in the Bible. It was, first, what the God-fearing Hezekiah called his wife. In II Kings 21 we learn that Hezekiah's wife was called "Hephzibah." And Hezekiah could say concerning his wife, "My delight is in her."

The second time that we find the word "Hephzibah" is where God calls His people by that name. That is in Isaiah 62:4. In the context God has said that He would take away our rightful name which is "Forsaken," and would call us by a new name, a name which He would choose. That name will be "Hephzibah." We read, "Thou shalt no more be termed Forsaken; neither shall thy land any more be termed Desolate: but thou shalt be called Hephzibah." And again, that word means, My delight is in her.

Out of His love the Lord delights in His church.

Psalm 149:4, "For the LORD taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation."

Isaiah 43:4, "Since thou wast precious in my sight, … I have loved thee."

God intends that we be blessed. God intends that we know that we are His delight, that we enjoy His love and grace and faithfulness.

No longer[, God says, no longer] will they call you Deserted,
[No longer will they] name your land Desolate.

But you will be called Hephzibah,
and your land Beulah.

Hephzibah and Beulah are Hebrew words that by definition immediately answer your spiritual desolation.

Hephzibah means "my delight is in you."
Beulah means "married."
Remembering that God is working with that metaphor of marriage, a metaphor from that ancient Israelite culture, God is transforming you from an unmarried woman who is desolate and deserted by society, a woman begging in order to find food.
God transforms you from someone so deserted and desolate, and now you are His delight, to be married to the Lord.

This isn't the only place in Scripture that talks about God marrying His people. It's a powerful metaphor to describe the relationship we have with God. Jesus Christ is our Groom, and we, the Church, are His Bride. Jesus comes to marry us—despite the fact that we are deserted and desolate, despite the fact that we may feel unlovable, despite all of our sins and faults and bruises and past mistakes. Jesus comes and says, "My delight is in you. You will be married to me."

That transformation takes place in you through faith. Without God, you were on the desolate beach of insecurity and damaged dignity, living without hope, but with Christ, with His salvation, with His Holy Spirit in your heart, you are Hephzibah, Beulah, the delight of God, His bride; you are secured and have dignity in God's eyes. These are the gifts that He showers upon you. This is how He has transformed you.

And now look again at God's words in Isaiah. Look again to see how He decorates you as His bride, the blessings He pours out on you, the ways He dresses you in a most beautiful gown of His blessings.

Verse 1: till her righteousness shines out like the dawn,
her salvation like a blazing torch.

Verse 2: The nations will see your righteousness,
and all kings your glory;

Verse 3: You will be a crown of splendor in the LORD'S hand,
a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

God transforms you with so many blessings that they spill onto the floor like a wedding gown. God transforms you to shine with His righteousness—His holiness, His perfection. God gives you salvation that is like a bright torch in your life. God lifts you up so that others will see His righteousness, His glory. God is showing you off, showing off His bride, but in doing so, He's showing off the blessings He's showered upon you. He's the One who has made you beautiful.

God gives you a crown of splendor, pours out all of His riches upon you. God makes you to be royal, a part of His royal family and His royal kingdom.

It's enough to make you blush and lose your breath. It's enough to make you wonder whether you can really walk down that aisle. Certainly Jesus must know that you don't really deserve to be in this place, to be walking down the aisle to be His bride.

But then you see Jesus at the altar, you see how Jesus looks at you, and there's no question that He sees you as His delight, as the love of His life, as a holy, perfect, beautiful bride. The Holy Spirit leads you down the aisle, Jesus takes your hand, and you know that you will be His forever.


WOW!! what a word to carry through my day!! :0)
Iv'e just been kissed by Jesus, how bout you?

I pray you have been reminded and encouraged to know how valued you are. Also.... seek and search out meaning to your dreams and visions!! God WILL show you!!!

Sweet Jesus,
I am sooo tickled by this Love!!! It's amazing!!!
Thank you for this sweet and romantic word my Beloved!! May all who read this be touched by your Delight in them. You are Awesome!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!




Love you all!
BECKAH SHAE