Sometimes it's hard.

Sometimes, when Woodbridge, N.J.-based Methodical lead singer William "Wilhelm" Mitchell is singing on stage, the personal feelings he has for the song he's singing is just too much.

Sometimes, he almost breaks down.

A victim of abuse as a child, many of Methodical's songs — mainly written by Mitchell's brother, also an abuse victim — are based on that pain from the abuse. Maybe not overtly, but at least in the subtext.

So when the heavy metal/industrial band is banging and Mitchell is screaming the lyrics, sometimes it just becomes too much.

"On stage, sometimes you wanna break down when you think about what you're singing about," Mitchell, a New Jersey resident and Mount Pocono ex-patriate, said.

Methodical brings that emotion — and its popular heavy mental sound — to the Sherman Theater in Stroudsburg on Friday for an industrial show with Drowning Sun, Fighting Zero, Dysphoria, Ajar, Life Beyond Reason and For Valor or For Vengeance.

Doors open at 6 p.m., and tickets are $10. A portion of the concessions will be donated to Monroe County Children and Youth for to benefit abused children and suicide prevention. A portion of the band's merchandise sales at the show also goes to the cause.

The Sherman Theater is donating some tickets to Children and Youth as well.

Mitchell is hoping the outlet he created to help himself get over his own pain from abuse helps today's children who may be suffering through something similar.

"It's theraputic," he said. "Being up on stage screaming at the top of your lungs, it's the reason my brother and I started the band in the first place. IT's a great way to get it out."

The Sherman isn't the only local stop for Methodical. They'll be at Lippy's Extreme Sports Bar in Marshalls Creek on Sept. 28. After that, the band could be headed internation to a place Mitchell never thought they would.

"Mexico," he said. "We've got some shows there next year."

Mexico?

"We have a big fan base down there from the Internet," Mitchell said. "We were surprised too. But there is a huge base of goth/heavy metal/industrial down there. The fans who like us basically begged us to come down there, so we're going next year."

As for stateside, the band is looking forward to its Sherman appearance. Mitchell not only has Poconos ties, but is very familiar with the Sherman.

The band has played there five times, though much of it was before the new ownership took over.

Not only that, but he also took acting classes there as a kid.

"It's always nice to come back and play there," he said. "We're looking forward to it. It'll be a fun show."

All this was courtesy of his stepfather who was "hiding" in the Poconos from the IRS and other shady money deals.

Sacci could have continued the cycle, as is often the case, but he mustered his own inner strength to take back the power, as did his brother.

"I want to be part of the end of the cycle," Sacci said. "I not only saw the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm in it and I'd like to get you there. I want to be a part of that healing process. If I can help get one child out of that darkness, I'll feel like I achieved something."

To do so, he and his brother came up with the idea of forming the heavy metal/industrial band Methodical. Sacci writes songs and is the stage director. The band rocks to get the word out about child abuse and suicide.

Methodical, which is a description that appropriately reflects the personalities of the brothers, will headline at the Sherman Theater on Friday.

Sacci was raised by his mom and stepfather in central New Jersey before moving to the Poconos when he was 10. Here, Sacci and his brother were homeschooled. "We barely left home. I had no friends, no proms, no gatherings. We were in this bubble," Sacci said.

His stepfather, who passed away a few years ago, made them watch programs about Hitler. "He said, 'You want to be feared and not loved. If people fear you, you will get further,' " said Sacci, who was constantly reminded that he wasn't his stepfather's biological child, was too skinny, had too many freckles and bad skin.

He remembered purchasing a pool stick for a present for his stepfather, and he couldn't count the change because his hands were shaking. "With no interaction, it was odd to be in society by myself," Sacci said. "It was terrifying with a capital T."

His stepfather even made Sacci write a letter to a state senator regarding his biological father's lack of child support. Then his stepfather compared Sacci's version to his own, making Sacci correct his. "If I dared giving him a first-draft of a letter he didn't like, he'd put me in the wall," Sacci said. "I learned at a very young age how to find my true feelings."

Sacci found expression through the arts.

"It was all about Michael Jackson in the '80s, Run DMC and Adidas with fat laces. If you didn't know how to moonwalk, you weren't cool," said Sacci, who spent hours watching videotapes frame by frame and practicing the moves. As a teen, he impersonated the pop star for parties and weddings. However, the sexual allegations against Jackson cut that career short.

His stepfather also enrolled Sacci in a theater program at the Sherman Theater. "I was acting before I was acting," said Sacci, who learned how to act to quell his stepfather's anger. "It quickly became a way to get out of the house, and I began to experience life naturally. I started gaining a lot of confidence back."

He lost himself in characters, but this world quickly dimmed when the stage lights went out.

It wasn't until he was 17 and stood up to his stepfather's rage one day, that his stepfather backed down. "It was an epiphany. From that day on, he started losing his power," said Sacci, who would also help his brother make a similar stand later.

At 18, Sacci earned his real estate license at the prompting of his stepfather, who believed Sacci could work while auditioning for roles.

That same year, Sacci leaned over to pick up a kerosene heater and pulled his lower and upper back so hard that his head tilted. But he insisted on auditioning for Disney and made the second cut.

But the pain must have been evident in his face, for he didn't get the job. For the next 1½ years, Sacci couldn't dance, so he focused on real estate.

"I went from wanting to be Michael Jackson to Gordon Gekko," said Sacci of the character Michael Douglas played in the film "Wall Street."

"I found that I really love helping people. There's nothing like helping people find their dream property," Sacci said. "I was done feeling alone and that I was nobody. It was being a part of a family. There's nothing worse than growing up in a home with four people and being alone."

His mentor Brian Ellis, whom he considers a father figure, and Kathy Caponigro, whom he considers his big sister, made him feel at home at work.

Eventually, he stopped dancing, and his last stage appearance was in 2001. Instead, he has focused on writing a memoir, with the working title "Donnie" and composing lyrics.

Sacci has also devoted much of his time to community volunteer work. "It's my rebel yell," he said.

Sacci doesn't wallow in the past, for he does understand he is the go-getter he is today because of his upbringing.

That is what he hopes to model for other youngsters through his example as well as the lyrics he writes. He also plans to play the drums with the band when he is available.

"Most youths are angry and can't articulate why. My lyrics speak to them," Sacci said. "We want to be part of the healing process. The music is coming from a sincere, real level."

BIOGRAPHY