10-09-06

            There are too many vehicles on the road. I don't know about other states, but in Florida there is not a single scrap of road that isn't densely populated by cars during every hour of every day. How do you know if you suffer from an over population of vehicles? Consider your headlights and high beams. What are their primary uses?

            There are so many cars on these roads that there is no longer any difference between day and night driving. There's only a difference is where the light is coming from, the sun or headlights. With all the generated light from hundreds of headlights, it's hard to imagine why any motorist would feel the need to turn on their high beams or "brights" as they are so correctly known. So why do people use these things? It's not for the light, I know that much. It's not bad enough that many headlights have become ornamental in operation and flicker at me like a cop in my rearview mirror. High beams too have come to be used in very different ways than they were originally intended. For one thing, motorists have learned that when their head lights are on it's difficult for the car in front of them, which is you, to see them flicking you off because you're going too slow or not pulling far enough ahead at a stop light. The high beams are a nice replacement. Flash them 5 or 6 times and when the driver in front of you regains their vision, they'll get the hint that you don't find their driving to your taste. The other common use of the high beam is a head ups warning. The difference between the angry high beam and the kind kind is in the vehicle doing the shining. If they're driving towards you, then the beams are friendly. They're saying "Hey, would you please swerve back into your own lane." Or, "You idiot, you forgot to turn on your headlights." Or the most important series of flashes, "Slow down, speed trap ahead."

            If you found that you too no longer use your brights to see better, then like me, there are too many vehicles on your roads. This is a problem. I used to work the overnight shift and at about 2:00am I would look over to the interstate and it would be packed with cars. Traffic on the interstate would be slowed to a stop as each car inched their way home. Think about it, that's a lot of cars for 2:00am. It's a three, sometimes four lane highway. The cars are bumper to bumper as far as the eye can see. Do the math if you want, but the point is, when you're up working at 2:00am and you see all these cars driving along the road you're left with one question. Why aren't they in bed? Actually, every time you encounter someone willingly out of bed when you're working in the middle of the night that's the question you ask. The next question is, where are all these people coming from? The roads never used to be this crowded. I can't remember the last time I traveled any road without having cars all around me. It's maddening and the old solutions just aren't working anymore. In my town, they're broadening the lanes, so that the normal everyday streets will now be four and five lanes wide. Of course, in the mean time, lanes get closed to allow for construction. And, by the time these new lanes are finished they'll need to repave the old lanes and when that's done we'll need a sixth or seventh lane.

            There is only one solution to the traffic problem and no it's not public transportation. Public transportation is slow, unpredictable and far too inconvenient. No what I'm thinking is much for fun. Flying cars. We have reached the time when they are a necessity. Growing up, I was promised flying cars, before that my dad was promised flying cars and now, as I sit daily in non rush hour traffic I am left to wonder, where are the flying cars! We need to build up, not out. Just think, what was three lanes would suddenly be nine. Of course this would cause other problems. We'd need transparent cars to see above and below our own, either that or advanced video equipment. We'd have to create new rules for travel. For example, would the highest lane be a passing or cruising lane? There'd be problems with merging. You'd be in the ground lane when the guy above you signals that he wants to move down a level. You slow down to let him in, but he waves you on saying "No I'll wait and get behind you," then you slow down even more signaling "No, no, it's okay you can squeeze in here," and just when he's about to move the jerk to your left will cut you off, causing both you and the car above you to flash your brights at him. Maybe flying cars wouldn't solve the current traffic problem so much as created new ones, but it would certainly make waiting at a red light for 10 minutes far more entertaining.

ok, some of you know i tried my dad's job on for a little while last year and tried to write a weekly commentary on stuff i thought about during the week. but i found out that it's time consuming and took up too much of my time. however i like a few of them and so i'm reposting them. i'm not going to try to do this weekly again. but if i get the motivation and have the time. i'll post them and mark them accordingly so you who reads these know the difference between my commentaries and my emotional spillover. i'd hate for you to expect comedy and get mush. :) or maybe i'll wake up tomorrow and decide they're crap and take them back down. anyway, here they are and i hope they make you smile.

here's the first one:

09-25-06

            ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Orlando should change its slogan to "The City Surrounded by Love." Only it's not the emotion that's set up camp in and around the city, it's the insect. Orlando has been attacked by the Love Bug, its name so given because all it does is make love and reproduce, which leads to millions of Love Bugs within minutes. Every year, Floridians deal with this minute nuisance but this year Orlando is literally under attack. In fact much of the rest of Florida remains completely untouched by the reproducer. Apparently the Love Bugs decided to hold a reunion at Disney World or maybe they're in town for Universal's Halloween Horror Nights. Either way, Orlando is getting some special attention from this normally friendly insect. I know because I recently drove to Orlando.

            In Florida at this time of year you resign yourself to the concept that at some point during any part of any day buckets of water will fall from the sky. So when I started to hear the pitter patter of raindrops steadily hitting my windshield I didn't give it much thought. I just turned on my windshield wipers. However it was only a matter of milliseconds before it became apparent that the film being smeared all over my windshield was not rain. Taking a second glance at the air in front of me I saw that there were literally thousands of these insects within my line of sight and every one of them was flying directly towards me, rapidly, hitting my car with such force that they sounded like pellets of rain or possibly hail. Now, Orlando, as you drive around in your cars committing vehicular manslaughter against this species by the millions and wondering why their numbers never seem to decrease, remember, Love Bugs are a man made creation. Engineered to minimize malaria carrying mosquito populations they did not exactly go to plan. Scientist used new technology to attempt to take away an annoyance and instead they created one. Now I know that sciences impact on the Love Bugs may be a rumor, but Love Bugs aren't the only example of technology gone overboard.

            Everything today is battery powered. In many homes right now, you will find laptops, digital cameras, digital video cameras, cell phones, portable DVD players, Bluetooths, I-Pods, electric razors, cordless vacuums, video game controllers, game boys, PSPs and blackberries. All of these items have one common annoyance. They each require a separate battery charger. It's not enough that it takes an extra suitcase just to take all of your technology with you everywhere you go, on top of that you also have to pack bulky battery chargers. You never know when one of these batteries might die. Like the gas tank in your car sometimes empty means use me for a few more days and sometimes it means you have one mile to find a gas station.

            And the problem doesn't stop at the charger. If you're in a foreign country you'll need an adapter. Of course, each charger requires a separate outlet so having only one adapter will lead to many problems.

..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /> 

Husband: Honey, I don't think our adapter is working right, my blackberry is dead. I had it charging all night.

Wife: I had to unplug it last night to charge the camera battery.

Husband: Oh, okay, well can you tell me where the adapter is now? I'll charge it some while you're getting ready.

Wife: I'm using it to straighten my hair right now.

Husband: But I have to charge the blackberry. The only reason they gave me vacation time was because I promised to be in constant email contact.

Wife: And I can't leave this room with half straightened hair. That would defeat the purpose of charging the camera. We'll just have to find an outlet at the restaurant we're having breakfast at.

Now try explaining to the waiter why you're crawling on the ground examining the wall.

Frankly I don't understand why every country needs to use a different electrical current in the first place. But then I don't understand much. For instance, I don't understand how wireless technology has led to more cords when it was supposed to create less or why anyone would go into the field of insect breeding in the first place.

i went to the beach tonight. i haven't been to the beach very much after dark. i probably should have taken this trip before i wrote my mfa portfolio. i didn't realize that the sound of the waves crashing on shore could overpower the sound of the air running through my ears. you don't notice how deafening the  waves are in the day time. i watched the water receed back into the ocean while other water moved towards shore on top of it. i saw how the water moving back out collides over a sandbar with the water moving in and creates the wave. i witnessed glass and foam take over the ocean for mere moments when there were no waves in my forward vision. the water was so dark blue. i layed back on the beach staring up at the sky, something you can't do when the sun is beating down on you, and i watched the clouds in the moonlight. you could almost get the feeling of being completely alone.

i say almost because you're never actually alone in this day and time. i sat between two sections of city that were highly lit. as i watched the sky stars moved slowly along and i knew they were only planes, ships cast bright lights out into the open sea and sounds of helicopters occasionally made themselves heard over the waves. young men laughed from the streets. and from time to time people passed by behind me. a couple sat 50 yards to my right and behind me and to the left another maybe 75 yards i think there were others. at no moment was i really alone.

i think i'll go to the beach at night more often. i could have fallen asleep there.

i hope the thoughts in my head are wrong.

The Bears have won the NFC! In two weeks they will play in the SuperBowl. Last time the Bears were there I was 4 years old. I don't remember the game, but I'm sure my dad had me watching the whole thing. My dad took me to my first Bears game. I remember how excited I was as a young teen to go, but we got stuck in traffic and had to listen to kick-off over the radio while we tried to find a place to park. It was half-time before we did find a parking spot and made it to our seats. My dad bought me a Bears hat that day. One of the first in my rather large collection. I dug it out from the back of my closet today, only to find out that my head has some how shrunk and it doesn't fit.

I want to take a moment here to emphasize something about team loyalties. You have to understand that I was born a Bears and Cubs fan. There was never any choice in the matter. My father was born a Chicago fan. It's all in our genetic code. To not be a Chicago fan is as foreign a concept to me as to suddenly not be an American. The only true fans are born fans. This is bad news for the Colts who play only 3 hours away from the Bears. Despite their incredible win tonight I think they will find that only half of their fans will be able to follow them to the SuperBowl. The Colts are too young, their Indiana based fans were Bears fans before they moved into our state. These people were born Bears fans and their loyalties will ultimately lie with the Bears.

It's not easy being a Chicago fan. People laugh when you say you're a Bears or a Cubs fan. In fact earlier this season someone I know scoffed at the Bears only to have their team to be among the first to fall to the Bears return to glory. I wouldn't have it any other way. Supporting teams that spend most of their time getting soundly defeated taught me the phrase "get 'em next time" and makes the winning feel all the better. That's an important lesson to learn in life when you're going to spend most of your time on your back struggling to get back on top. For the Bears this is next time. The NFC is their's. The AFC belongs to the Colts. The mid-west is triumphant and coming to miami. That ought to be a culture clash. Oh how I wish I were in Chicago right now. Anyone know how to get SuperBowl tickets for less than a thousand dollars? My dad will pay.

"i wake to sleep and take my waking slow." i can't get this line out of my head, but i don't know when i read/heard it and i don't know who wrote it. most importantly i've forgotten what it means.

whatever it means it seems to carry the essence of how i feel right now. there's that phrase again. the one everyone keeps telling me to ignore, how i feel. i have too many feelings or not enough, it never seems to be just right and so i wake to sleep and take my waking slow.

last year, not 365 days last year, but a month ago last year, i spoke of secret wishes made on stars and the emptiness christmas morning always brings. i won't say what i wish for, only that it has never changed. there was an illusion of an oasis and then the mirage was gone. like in a dream, i waited and dreaded the waking because some things won't be real. so i wake so sleep and take my waking slow.

shyness follows me throughout my day. it's not an excuse only a reason, something to conquer and take responsibility for, like my weight and spelling. and when i cry i know the source exists only in my mind. so i wake to sleep and take my waking slow.

i am ashamed of my wish. the word emo stings like an insult and consoles like a compliment. i don't think rationally about any girl. the worst emotion to sense coming off of anyone else is indifference. i've been cruel to those who i sensed were indifferent. the balance between work, school, money and life should always be tipped on the side of life. i'm ashamed of what i wish for, but i watch for it everywhere i go. that's my truth and so i wake to sleep and take my waking slow.

i have been watching an excessive amount of tv this week. normally, i watch maybe 2-3 hours of tv a week. it's just not my thing, but this week i've been bored. i could read, but i'm also lazy this week. boredom+laziness=tv. i've watched movies, a new drama called dirt, law and order, comedy. like i said it's been excessive. while watching tv i've noticed a few things. for one, the movies i saw in the theater 4 months ago, loved and swore i'd buy are now out on dvd, but i can't afford them. tv also has ads for a lot of new movies coming out soon. most look interesting, capture my attention, but one movie has gone too far. i thought the justin timberlake movie had too many ads out (sorry to a certain jt fan i know), but this other movie is ridiculous. the commercial comes on and i change the channel and on the new channel it's the same damn movie commercial. if you don't know what movie i'm talking about you're not watching tv. the movie is called primevil and it's gotten on my last nerve. the first time i saw it, it looked like one of those movies where you wait to see what everyone else thinks and then decide if it's worth $9.00 or even $18.00 if you pay for two. now i refuse to see it on principle. a movie about a "serial killer" whose killed 300 people. it's "based" on a true story. it sounds like a retarded video game. i think it is "based" on a true story in a video game. how much money do they have in their budget to advertise on every tv show i watch!

ok, my myspace page is starting 2007 over. not clinging to 2006 i have erased all pictures of myself and only left nice scenic pictures from the previous year. all blogs and pictures of me posted will be from this year alone, or at least that's the plan, it might last a week.

so back to my new years resolutions. i want 2007 to be a year of action. i resolve to snowboard, surf and skydive this year. i also resolve to get good enough at rollerblading that people don't look at me like i'm retarded when i'm riding by. finally i resolve to hassel kerri about when she's coming to florida.

i am excited about 2007 and it is my sincere hope that the supervolcano under yellowstone park does not erupt this year.