I believe Sinfest put it best...



Regardless of excuses and what not, I'm an ass sometimes. Hell, maybe all the time. Its not like I want to be, but I guess that's just the way things are. I'm trying hard though. Everyday is a struggle to hide the assness that I contain. To keep it secret; away from the ones that I love, the ones who matter most to me.

And still, it keeps breaking through.

It kinda sucks.

But I guess the first step in changing yourself is in fact knowing and acknowledging that you are, indeed... a total ass sometimes.

Stay tuned, I'm gonna do better.

So! Life eh? S'weird how it works out, non?

I've only gone and bagged myself a girlfriend. A good 'un too. A proper keeper. She's this cool girl with the same tastes. We've actually got quite a lot in common, and there's the differences as well. But that's cool too.

She's really pretty, which is a huge bonus. I'm all smitten... again...

But I've got it right this time. I know it. :D

I shall spare you all the gory details for her, and your, sake, but its all good in the hood. :)

So I'm back at uni now. Fo' proper. I have a lecture tomorrow. At 9am. Its now twenty to six. And its fucking 9am Jim.

I actually have two lectures tomorrow. But I only remembered that like 20 minutes ago, and with the amount of sleep i'm going to have, i.e none, if I went it'd be like I wouldn't be there. So cock that. I'll be going back to bed thank you very much.

And yeah. Its all good. except I'm tired. And fucking grumpy 'cos I lost my keys. And I'm grumpy 'cos i'm tired.

I'm just a grumpy cunt, at the mo.

I need me some lovin's!

Peace y'all x

So I'm home for Christmas. I'm in the tisborough.

I miss london like fucking crazy. Fo' serious, it nearly hurts. Its like I've lsot a limb or something.

Back in the day, when I was at college, I didn't miss london so much. I mean, I lived there and all, but I was living at college virtually, so I didn't spend much time there. But after spending nearly 4 months solid there, I miss the place like crazy. I miss all my new firends. I miss the smell. I miss the bustle. I miss the tramps asking me for 20p at 4 in the morning as I stumble home.

I've done little stumbling since I've been home. I miss that too. I miss my little walks down to the petrol station/Deptford when I'm desperate for fags at stupid o'clock in the morn. I miss going to/coming back from Binnie Court at stupid o'clock in them morn.

In fact, I miss most things that happen at stupid o'clock in the morn. One of my favourite things was seeing all the foxes about. It was like my own private, damn chilly nature show. I'd stop and watch sometimes. It was all cool shit.

We just got regular foxes here. They aren't urbanised. And I'm not stumbling about 'cos shit is so boring here that I just spend all night on the 'puter.

Grah! I want to be back in London so bad!

Anyways!

I guess you've gathered that shit here is pretty dull. I am, however, looking forward to christmas. I can't wait for Hugo to open his present from me, nor can I wait to rawk out on my brand spanking new electric guitar. Yeeehaaaa!

I think I'm back in London for the 27th. And I may be jetting about the place, visiting people. A trip to some backwater place might be on the cards. Which is sweet, as I get to see a certain someone. Other than that, I think I'm just chilling... looking after the cat. Getting ratarsed with Doug... and just stuff...

Rah.

I want uni back baaaaad.

Apologies for last the last shitty blog. Dope, it turns out, makes shit writing seem awesome at the time. I'd take it down, but it disturbs Hugo beyond all belief, so I'm keeping it to mess with his head.

Haha.

So yeah! What's been going on in my life?

My week basically boils down into this:

Monday: 9am Jim. Nadia, Chris and I are boycotting this lecture on te grounds that no person should be exposed to that level of boredom that early in the day. Chris counted how many times 9am Jim said um. 88 times in 8 mintues. That's 11 ums a minute.

That's fucked up.

Then at three, Chris and I have some other philosophy class of which the name escapes me. Normally, there is either reading I have not done for it, or an essay is due that I haven't done. So more often that not, I do not look forward to it.

Tuesday, I have a day off. Mum tells me these days are for studying and self reflection. Bollocks to that, I say. For sleeping, innit?

Which does, of course, mean that I can go get wasted at the pub quiz monday night! Yay! Go team So's Your Mum!

Tuesday is for sleeping, as discussed.

Wednesday, I have Logic at 9am with Kath. This isn't so bad. Kath is interesting, and I'm probably more awake and less bored ecuase of all the sleep I got on tuesday.

Thursday, I have creative writing. This is a good class. We sit, and we write on a theme that Sean suggests. I'm sure he just makes it up as he goes along.

Then! And then! Its stoodent night at the 'neer. I love the 'neer. It fills me with a happy glow. Of drunkeness. :D

Cheap booze, lovely mates, good times.

Hurrah!

This weekend was good fun. Hamish and George came round. Hadn't seen either of 'em in tiiiiiime. We got all drugged up, and had a sweet laugh, eating all the food my mum had in the house. Sunday, Hugo came round, and 'Mish him and I went over to my flat. And got even more drugged up.

Then we went to the 'neer.

Honestly? Not one of the greatest ideas. None of my uni mates had ever really seen me wrecked before, so I was on my best behaviour, and was trying to keep Hamish in check. As much as I love the little fucker, sometimes, he can just be a tinsy bit overbearing.

I think I worry too much, 'cos everyone told me afterwards what a sound bloke he was. I never really understand how that always happens with him, but I'm glad it does. :)

I'm currently writing this from home. Mum facebooked me that there was a famiy emergency. I instantly panicked. I thought my dad, who's out in Afghanistan at the moment, had been killed or something. Fortunatley, it wasn't so severe.

Hugo's had a bit of an emotional breakdown. Just like I did when I was at college. I tell ya, that place is no good for either of us. We never should've gone.

Anyways, I'm gonna be cheering him up for the next few days. Yay!

Inabit my lovelies x

 

 

So, the fire alarm went off again. That's the upteenth time. Its mad. Its very nearly every night.

And I'm worried I'm going to become desensitised to the whole fiasco.

I'm probably going to end up sitting at the kitchen table, which is on fire, sitting there going "Chuh.... not again".

I think fire drills are more of a hazard that a help. I mean, if it didn't happen all the time, we'd get scared fuckless. If someone had never heard a fire alram before, and some student has started a chip pan whilst microwaving some frozen peas, and its 2am and he's really drunk, and everyone is sleeping. He sets the alarm off, and everyone rolls out of bed going "Shit fuck what!? Run away!" and they get the fuck out of there.

It is disturbing to know that it is everyone's knowledge that a fire alarm noise is designed intentionally to make you not be able to tolerate it. Gardeners use sounds to stop cats shitting on the lawn. This alarm will do that and more. It will shift people who are stoned out, only because if they don't leave, they'll have a freak out. It will shift comatose drunks. The only thing it won't shift is two people going at it like rabbits.

God knows, science definitely can't possibly change that fact.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

So... stuff is pretty good.

Yeah. Pretty damn good. I dunno what it is, but I'm pretty good at landing on my feet. Mum drove me to uni the other day. She seemed geniuniley suprised as to how nice it is there. I keep saying its well nice, but noone seems to believe me.

Someone said to me "Greenwich... a random uni in a random bit of london."

Which makes me sort of go "As if! Greenwich practically owns time. It invented it for chrissakes! Plus there's the Millenium Dome/O2 dome or whatever the hells its called. James Bond slid down that after jumping from a balloon... yeah... five minutes down the road from me.

Awesome.

Its all really... nice too. The campus is nice. My flat is nice. The students are nice. My flatmates are nice. I'm not used to it. Given, the last campus I was at was nice. But nice people? I'm just not used to it...

I'm still waiting for something like "Hey wait a minute! He's a loser! And a geek! What the hell!?".

Not yet though. So I'm enjoying it whilst it lasts.

My course is immense. Creative writing? Its brilliant! If not hard. One of my recent bits of work is to write an autobiography in exactly one hundred words. With one syllable words.

ZOMG! So hard.

So I'm gonna be bugging friends to help me with that 'un. Its due thursday. Anyone on msn late at night who knows me good is gonna get a bugging. Sorry 'bout that.

And Philosophy? Well, the lectures that I've been to are pretty interesting. It may seem arrogant, but I know most of what is being said already. That being said, a lot of kids with me have never studied philosophy before, so I figure that's going to change real soon, and I'm going to find myself out of my depth. So I'm trying really hard not to be complacent and I'm sticking with it. But yeah... nine am lectures make it bitchin' to show up for, but now that I'm in halls, it shouldn't be that much of a problem.

Speaking of halls... mine? So awesome. So so so so awesome. We live on top of a pub. A Wetherspoons, no less. I so win. Our kitchen is humoungous. Gargantuan even. Though most of the space is taken up by the washing up that hasn't been done. Probably from three weeks back.

Its like a combination of Black Books and Withnail & I. Pretty dire.

But yeah! I'm having a wicked time, and I'm actually a lot happier now than I have been for a long time. Including when I was with Jayne.

Speaking of which...

So over it now, ladies and gents. Henry is spending no more time bitching, whining, complaining and sobbing to any poor bastard he talks to. No. He's over it. 100% done.

But you know what I hate about the internet? How easy it is to stay in touch. I got a facebook message from her the other day that simply read "Can I have my phone back?"

This was a phone her mum had lent me whilst we were going out. Apparently, Jayne dropped hers into a glass of water.

I had done something... similar, with her mums phone. No. Not maliciously. I was never *that* bitter...

Yeah... I was drunk one night, at um... where was it... a Holiday Inn somewhere... I can't remember where or why or when... and I need to go to the loo. So I did. I needed to pee.... real bad. So I did. only I find urinals to be rank, repulsive and just a little bit... well... gay.

So I sumbled into a cubicle. And did my thing.

Halfway through this, logic dictated to me that it'd be a good idea to take out my phone and give someone a bell. No idea who I wanted to call. It could've been Hugo, to see how Reading festi was going, or anyone else for that matter. I don't normally call people... bu I do stuff I don't normally do when I'm pissed...

But I digress! So I takes out my phone, dial, and put it to my ear. And then drop it.

Midflow.

Not only have I dropped my phone down the loo, I have done so whilst I'm still peeing. Disaster!

Really, this comic sums it up in one. http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=141

Can I stop peeing? Madness! The sting is to much! I press on, banging my head against the loo roll dispenser and wondering as to how these things allways happen to me.

I finish. Normal practice leads me to place my hand on the flush. hen I notice that my phone is still down there. I hesitate.

Bollocks.

On the one hand, flushing could rid the bowl of the nasty, probably smelly pee, and let me retrieve my phone in a more... sanitary manner. On the other, prehaps the flush would be too great for the phone, and suck it into the abyss.

I don't risk it. Holding back a sob, I grab the phone, and get to a sink sharpish. Washing my hands about a thousand times.

And then the phone... it looks... undamaged. I think about running it under the tap, to wash it. The fact that I actually thought of that as a feasably sensible idea makes me want to cry, thinking about it now. I'm a dumbass.

So instead I waft it under the handdryer.

And then a bloke walks in.

Oh the embarrasment!

So I figured I'd share that story with the internets. Hoorah.

So yeah! jayne broke her phone by dropping it into some water. I broker another of her phones with my pee.

Oooops.

So yeah... I didn't tell her that story. I just said "Its broken. Sorry."

She was not best pleased.

But yeah... I'm doing good. I'm over my ex, I've landed on my feet after a potential fuck up of a situation, and I'm happy.

The only two things reall missing is regular sex and regular visits from Chris, Dess and Hamish.

I also haven't seen nearly enough of Miles or Claire. Damn them and there far awayness.

Damn them!

Anywas... I'm out.

Love love and a Hug guys! x

 

Good titles, good titles!

So yeah!

3 weeks! 3 long, sodding weeks. How those crazy kids jet off for a year is now completely beyond me. I've missed home so much! I've missed friends so much! Most of all, I've missed Jayne so much....

Thursday... I think it was Thursday.... 'twas all so long ago now... Jayne and I headed to Heathrow. At this point, I had lots of money. By the time we got there, I had a lot less. Does anyone have a good, genuine reason as to why sunscreen is so ludicrously expensive? I can't figure it out. Is it unicorn semen or something?

So yeah! Jayne and I said our goodbyes, and I went to introduce myselves to the guys and girls that I'd be spending the next two weeks with. Nice bunch of people, with good senses of humour, it turns out :)

Some of them I already new, Like Bollard, Olli Shastri and James Brind... others I was only meeting really for the first time, and others were faces I was aware of....

I spent most of my time in heathrow looking for a bar where I could go and get a bit tanked before the flight, hoping to top up on as much jesusjuice as I could before we landed in South Africa and the dreaded "Dry Trip" would begin.

In short, I failed miserably, but made up for it slightly onbaord the gruelling nine hour flight with a few brewskis and a miniature bottle of wine.

Classy.

The flight was not as bad as I had expected as the in-flight entertainment was pretty decent, with stuff like The 300 and TMNT being shown. TMNT is pretty good actually.

When we got to Joh'berg, we had to spend a lot of time waiting around for another group of cuntish people to arrive to share the coach with us... By this point, I threw caution to the wind and snuck off to buy some cigs.... which, even in an airport, were less than 2 quid! Madness!

Originally I had planned to not smoke at all on the trip, as it had been apparently banned along with drinking. I packed my Zippo only as a precaution and survival tool. Yeah... I'm serious. :)

So yeah! The guys we were waiting for arrived, and we went outside... I tell ya what guys... South Africa is *cold* in the mornings when its winter!

We trekked to our coach and loaded everything up, and we launched ourselves into a second gruelling odyssey. 8 hours on a couch with a bunch of other school kids who got very very bored. As their levels of boredom rose, my patientce thinned. I got very, very stressed. When we got there, the lead teacher of the trip, Mr Filtness, noticed this and unveiled that the whole "dry trip" had been a ruse to allow the school and the parents to let us all head out.

So a beer abnd a fag for henry!

Hoooray!

The next day, we headed out to Makhasa game reserve. It was eicked! I was expecting something quite slummy, but it turned out to be luxury. We had what appeared to be 8 man tents where two of us would sleep. We had beds, matresses, pillows, a porch, and light switches outside! Coola! And there was an awesome bar. And it was cheap. And we could use floats. Floats are cooool.

We spent our few days there on game drives, survial and tracking skills and then there was fun stuff like canoeing and drinking round the fire. Good times had by all there methinks.

And I came within spitting distance of a Rhino. That we had tracked. On foot. How awesome is that?

The second part of the trip was spent in Mkuze game reserve. This is where the science was at. Unfortuantly, the palce we stayed in, the "Enviromental Camp" was below dire. Whilst there was running water, there was no electricity, and few doors in the bathroom actually worked. No shower doors or loo doors left me feeling a little grumpy, not to mention whatever it was swimming in one of the blocked loos. No soap either, but fortunatley, none of us caught any gastro, which is just as well. That shit is nasty! Our quarters weren't all that great either. Gone where the pillows, and the large cool tents, and were instead replaced with one small hut which all the boys cramped into. It was crowded, but I got through it with what felt like ease, which I think is down to the good nature of teh guys I was with. We all got on pretty well.

Most of the time we went out into the bush to dig holes, which would form traps. We were pretty good at that. Most of the boys on the trip, myself included, had pretty good upper body strength, so the ground soon yeilded to our pick axes. We dug four traps, which consist of two lines of 24 holes intersecting at one point in two days. We kicked ass!

During the evenings we sat round the fire, chatting and eating and whatnot. I got chatting to a student from Joh'berg university. He was a proper lad, really nice. I mentioned that I might be coming back, and he recomended some cool sounding places, especially Cape Town.

When I left, he slipped me something via handshake. The guy was giving me dope! Mental! I later ditched it at Joh'berg airport, not wishing to risk jail in another country...

The next part of our stay was at Sodwana Bay, at a diving lodge. This was easily the most fun that we all had. We all learned how to Scuba Dive, which is awesome, and we saw wicked things like Sea Turtles, Nemo and Dolphins. Hardcore!

I also learnt how to play poker, and I learnt, finally, that too much drink makes you very, very ill. This was on the last night at Sodwanna, so traveling home was less than pleasant.

But I got there... alive and well.

So I went home. I rang Jayne. I was disapointed to find out that Jayne couldn't come and see me, so I sepnt most of that day/evening moping about and sulking. The next day, I felw off to Ireland. I also, for the shame of it all, bought the new HP book....

...Its well good!

Read it in like a day though.... bah! So yeah! I hung out with Hugo, Paddy, Lydia, Hanna and Cordelia for a whole week. Which was good.

And now I'm home.

Hooray!

I go to see Jayne on the second. I can't wait. Its been three weeks.

OMIGAWDLONGESTTIMEEVAAAAAAAAAAAR!

So yeah. I'm quite exciteted to see her. And there's a few parties I'm going to too. Hope to see you there :)

So as of last Monday, I've had no lessons. I've had no school. I've had no teachers telling me to do up my tie, to cut my hair, to tidy my room [I left that in a mess when I left as well, fuckers  ].

And for some reason, its nowhere near as hardcore as I thought it would be.

Monday night Dessie and I went to a bar in Reading with some mates. Dessie also bought a Bong. Weirdly, we went to this bar with three other dudes in our year who I've never really chatted to for the five years that they've been my "peers". And they turned out to actually be pretty cool. It was odd talking to them and, whilst finding that our opinions differed massivley, we could still have a laugh and all that jazz. It just sucks that there are even more exceptions to the rule that "Wellingtonians are arseholes" than I thought there were. Heh.

After that, Dess and I headed over to Chris's. The rest of the week is somewhat hazey. All I really remember doing is dominationg Chris's fridge and us naming Dess's new Bong Sisqo whilst singing "The Thong Song". Chances are that's funnier if you were there.

So, in a nut shell, I pretty much spent a week smoking pot and hanging out with my closest mates. Normally, I'd kill for an oppurtunity to do that... but now? I dunno... I think this change is something that I may not be ready for... I mean... I have 15 months of independancy to deal with. And I know for a hard, cold fact that I can't spend it doing what I've been doing for the last week. The fact that I have to work for money freaks me to. That means yet more time having to do what others tell me. Wonderful. I think I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that a lot of my life is going to be full of just that: Putting up with orders.

Balls.

So this new found freedom isn't as hippity-hop as I was hoping.

On friday, I graduated. Yeah... "Graduated". How lame is that? We even got scrolls, which had our "acheivements" printed on them.

The first line read as followed on mine: "Positions of responsibiltiy:                   "
Yeah... it was blank. Sums me up in one, eh?

What else was pretty lame was the fact that there was this camera right? And it pointed right at your face whilst you had to stand and listen to a little speech your housemaster read. And what really sucked was that the output of the camera was connected to a projector. So the rest of the goddamn hall could see the exact expression on your goofy face whilst the whole thing went down.

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

After that, there was this whole after-party thing at Liquid, a club in Winsor. Because my girlfriend has immense insane propage, Eddie, Chris and I were on the VIP list.

Which might sound weird, becuase we all probably know by now that Henry is not a clubber. No sir, he can't even juggle with the damn things!
[/unbelievably bad juggling joke]

But serously, clubs aren't my thing at all. And yet there I was, at the entrance, waiting to get in.

That is, untill Eddie decided to try and spring a fake ID on the bouncer despite the face he had his passport on him. She saw through it immediatley, and said he wasn't coming in. He insulted her intelligence further by showing his passport, so she looked at Chris and I and went "You with him?".

We said yes.

And so we got refused entry to a club.

Do I get street cred? Do I do I do I?

We returned to Chris's. I spent most of that evening moping and feeling sorry for myself for a few reasons, none of which including me not going to a club [a fact that I was feeling quite smug about to be honest]. Jayne and I have been in a tight spot and friday night was sought of the peak of the whole thing.

Chris, however, was totally awesome about the whole thing. Without sounding proper bhatty/gay/touchy-feely, he was totally there for me the whole way.

Which was cool in a sort of "I'm being all emo because I'm having girlfriend trouble" way.

Saturday I went to Jayne's place and stayed the night. It was something we both needed, to be together in a nice quiet place, not having to deal with that much hassle and all that jazz.

She has two new kittens, Coco and YumYum. I find myself being jealous of both. Which is totally weird. I think its this new "me being emo" thing. I'm not a jealous person at all, or at least, I wasn't. Now I'm getting jealous at the drop of a hat, be it kittens or Kris Marshall.

I think its part of this whole "things are changing" thing really. I've always liked the Buddhist expression that we suffer becuase of our attatchent to the impermanent. And now, here I am, attatched to what is inevitably finite. And I don't want it to be. I want all of it to last, and now I'm really fighting for it. But if anything, Im making it worse. But I can't stop it!

Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame!

I've got nothing against the kittens mind. Adorable pieces of little fluff they are. I like YumYum. He's like a mini-mycat. Only not a fat slag. Which is good.

Plus my balls are bigger than his and soon, he won't have any at all!

*crosses legs*

So yeah!

I head to South Africa on Thursday. Scary stuff. I could get eated by a Lion! So any proclamations of love should be sent my way before then. If not, drop me a line anyways eh? That'd be nice

And then I head to Ireland almost straight away for another week. I hear the surf is somewhat good there, which is cool. I've heard there's no board hire, but I guess if worse comes to worse I'll tie Hugo to some planks and see how that works out.

Peace for now!

I might sleep.

Inabit!

Henry x x x

Get it now!

I command you!

This shit is awesome! You can talk to anyone else with skype, for free! Its like a phonecall, but through teh internets! Its currently roXXoring my soXXors...

Look me up on it by searching either "Henaree", "Henry Eaton" or my email adress, Fine_Rabid_Dog [at] hotmail [dot] [com]

Looking forward to chatting with you!

:)