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Steven Saus


Last Updated: 11/19/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Married
Sign: Sagittarius

City: DAYTON
State: Ohio
Country: US

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November 19, 2009 - Thursday 

Category: Writing and Poetry

[tape begins]

Thank you for letting me defend myself.  Your honor, it's silly that anyone would file domestic violence charges against me.  I mean, I love her.

[muffled voice of judge and prosecutor]

Sure, your honor.  I told her that I wanted to hurt her, but it was because I loved her so much.  I didn't actually do it, so that makes it okay, right?

[muffled voice of judge]

Your honor, she needs someone to protect her from all the bad things out there.

[muffled voice of prosecutor, then judge]

Yes, I broke into her house and spied on her.  No, your honor, I don't call that voyeurism.  I call it love.

[muffled voice of judge and prosecutor]

Of course I stopped her from talking to other boys.  You know what all boys want.  She doesn't need to be around people like that.  And sometimes she just doesn't get it, so I have to scare her a little.  But it's for her own good.

[muffled voice of judge, bang of gavel]

Guilty?  How can I be guilty?  I sparkle in the sunlight!

[pause in recording]

Why is your bailiff named Buffy?
22:26 
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November 16, 2009 - Monday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
This was again part of the 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge.  Voting's back, so you can vote for it and  listen (and read) the rest of the stories over at the 100 Word Stories site.  If you just want to listen to mine alone, you can do so using the player below.  (If the player's borked - like in some feed readers - try this link.


[As a side note, this story is a complement to a much earlier flash bit I wrote entitled "A Brief History of Activism".]

Fluffles the Bunny looked over the flesh crowd.  A few other clothies were here, but they were more concerned with not being smooshed underfoot than listening.

Snookums Bear studied the crowd over Fluffles' shoulder.  "Ugly crowd, boss."

Fluffles narrowed his button eyes.  "It's the first anniversary of our struggle, when Dan Bear stood up to the humans."  The bunny took the microphone and began his speech.

"Do I not have eyes?  If you prick us, do we not bleed?"

Fluffles then noticed polyester fill poking through one of his seams.

The crowd kicked the stuffing out of him.
21:40 
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November 8, 2009 - Sunday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
This was again part of the 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge.  Voting's back, so you can vote for it and  listen (and read) the rest of the stories over at the 100 Word Stories site.  If you just want to listen to mine alone, you can do so using the player below.  (If the player's borked - like in some feed readers - try this link.
                       
One. Take one candlestick.  Combine with the brain of your ex-lover at high speed.  In the library.
Two.  Wipe fingerprints from fixtures and door handles for thirty seconds.
Three. Use two cups of the victim's blood to write radical slogans for a religion you do not follow on the walls.
Four.  Place body in bathtub filled with sulfuric acid.  Allow to steep until soft..
Five.  Knead C4 around support pillars of home.  Place detonators.
Six.  Exit, then detonate.  Allow all ingredients to cook until fire and police departments arrive.
Seven. Watch TV anchors speculate about your identity.

Serves one.

19:59 
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October 31, 2009 - Saturday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
This was again part of the 100 Word Stories Weekly Challenge.  There's no voting this week, but you can still go and listen (and read) the rest of the stories over at the 100 Word Stories site.  If you just want to listen to mine alone, you can do so using the player below.  (If the player's borked, try this link.


When I was a kid, I loved Indiana Jones.

I would walk around with my shirts unbuttoned to my pasty navel,
carrying a string for a whip. I ran around the schoolyard humming the
theme song.

I also loved my Luke Skywalker Underoos. When friends came over, I
would sometimes show them off, coming downstairs wearing nothing but
the orange underwear.

That was decades ago.

Yesterday, a friend asked me what I was going to be for Halloween.

"I don't know," I replied. But my hand fidgeted with my shirt
buttons, and I swear my underwear suddenly turned bright orange.
21:17 
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October 29, 2009 - Thursday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
[Full disclosure:  I have a story in this anthology. I'm serious about what I say below, but hey, you should know. - Steve]


I like themed anthologies.  It's partially because I'm a fan of short stories in general.  Even more than that, I like to see how different authors can take a basic idea and do all sorts of fun and unexpected things with it.

On that front, Hungry for Your Love fits the bill.  This is an e-anthology published by Ravenous Romance that starts with a twist:  Forget vampires - what about zombie romance?

The twenty one (well over 300 pages!) of stories capture a huge range of zombie-related stories.  Some are sweetly romantic.  Some are revenge stories.  Some talk about lost loves, or finding someone when the whole world is against you (whether you're a zombie or a human).  Some take place in the midst of a zombie infection, some are after things have settled down again.  There are occult zombies, superscience zombies, and infectious zombies. 

If you're getting the idea that this anthology has something for most people - and definitely something for both lovers of horror and romance - you're on the right track.  The stories encompass a huge range, with some of the stories nearly becoming erotica (so yes, it's not for the kiddies), while others are mostly horror with the romance being seen through holding another's hand.  One made me kind of sad, and still others were simply funny enough to get me to laugh out loud.

With twenty one stories in this anthology, it's well worth the $4.99. (Yes, that's less than a quarter a story.)

I'm pretty stoked.  I had fun writing my story for Hungry For Your Love, and had just as much fun reading it. I think you will too.  To help celebrate that, and to spread the word about this book, I'm running a small contest.  If you're on Twitter, post a tweet linking to this blog post or the book itself with the hashtag #zlove .  Today through Halloween, I'll choose one (or more) random tweet per day and send them one of my 100 word stories on a postcard.

So what are you waiting for?  Go check this book out
20:15 
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