Ah yes...it is Black History Month once again...and as usual that mean that The Fox is workin' it out with all the other black folx that perform! And just so you don't miss your opportunity to view the 7th and 8th Wonder of The World here is my schedule! Remember...Once you go black, you never go back!

TWIN TITTIES BURLESQUE
Wed Feb 18 @ 10PM
Station4 (in lovely DT St. Paul on the corner of 4th and Sibley)
$7 - Ain't that cheap!
Cast includes the bad girlz of burlesque honey! This isn't your granddaddie's burlesque show! Starring of course moi, Sweet Lily Bee, Theodora Brass, Barbara Gordon, Abbie Rhodes, Dr. Tinkerpaw, and a crazy little boy named Warr N. Piece...there might be more...there might not...but we are getting drunk and so should you!

DYKES DO DRAG: The 10 Year Anniversary Show
The Bryant Lake Bowl
Thurs-Sat Feb 19-21 @ 10pm with and added 7pm on Sat.
Tix = $20 - this is a total bang for your buck there are over 20 performers (that's only a buck a number) and each one is unique in his/her/it's own way...a must see for those who love to point and cackle!
Make your rezzies NOW cuz this show ALWAYS sells out!
tix available @ www.bryantlakebowl.com

Dr. Sketchies Drink and Draw
Sunday Feb 22 2-5pm
The 331 Club (13th and University Ave. NE)
$10 to draw...to gawk is free!
This is a new phenomenon here in The Twin Titties...The good Ophelia Flame has decided that it is a good idea to provide a venue for those visual artists out there who need to do a bit of life drawing, a bit of drinking and a bit of pretty ladies boobs! Who better to do this than burlesque performers...This is a blast...I go every time there is one just cuz it is a hoot. Hosted by Ian Rans of Drinking With Ian!

and just so you know...and you will be receiving more info about this one

THE SIRLY GIRLY SHOW!
Feb 26-28 Thurs-Sat @ 10pm
The Bryant Lake Bowl
tix = $15 in advance $20 @ the door...we are encouraging you to make rezzies so we look good to The Bowl's management!
Just make your plans for this one...The Gentleman King and The Fox have finally gotten it together to do a show together...and my very good friend who makes my ass look like I am white will be here from San Fran and if for no other reason you need to see Alotta Boute! She is a vision of lovliness and a joy to behold...or just hold as our producer Russel N. Kuntz keeps saying.
Be there!

OK folx, let me set the stage...we (meaning me and those bitches TWBTM's) have been booked for Labor Night @ Station4...our regular nasty little venue...The Republicans are supposed to be out in force with all of their anti-gay, pro white-trash rhetoric...but NOOOOO there has to be another fucking hurricane! OK I think at first, this is a good thing, there are gonna be all of these super duper bored conventioneers with not a fucking thing to do! Where else are they gonna go after they have convened their convention...i figure...why not Station4! I mean we all know that nothing ever happens in St. Paul...what happens in St. Paul stays in St. Paul! BUT-the Republican junta has let everyone know that if they show up anywhere doing anything fun, they were excommunicated...which means that none of those bastards showed up...it made me feel unloved! You know...when The Fox shows up in Geish on a Monday, she expects a little bit of love and support kinda like Jane Russel's Bra! And I must say, that The Republican's support The Fox like an old moldy training bra...I didn't expect them to show up in droves or anything but for Christ's sake, Newt RSVP'ed and HE didn't even show...and we all know how much he loves a good pair of brown titties! Fuck me running folx! A girl just has to make a dollah ya know...and this fucking convention has me running for no fucking reason! I am SURE that it wasn't like this in Denver!!

Jesus H Christ on a crutch! The Fox is fried from Pride! I am not even going to get into my schedule for all of these festivities. It will be enough for you to know that I am very very very popular during Gay Pride. Why is a cock sucking female such a damn hit during the most homo of holidaze? Well honey, probably because I was raised by a pack of wild drag queens and I still reek of their scent/perfume. They know their own ya know! But The Fox was a hit, yes she was, but that isn't at all what I want to talk about.

I become less proud each Pride.
What is that about, you ask.

Well it could have something to do with commercialization. It could be about the plethora of little tiny yappy dogs with fucking rainbow neckerchiefs. Or it could have something to do with Wells-Fargo and Target pitching to the rainbow family kiddies their early branding identification schemes. It might just have been the fact that the rainbow will never again be associated with leprechauns and pots of gold. Or maybe that there was some half hearted attempt to say the festival was a "smoke free event". I must say that this is what threw The Fox over the edge. No smoking?!?!?! Fuck that! Pass that joint!
The other thing that I was just a little jaundiced about was that there just isn't the level of debauchery that used to occur. I didn't see hardly any of my sisters! I am referring to the drag queens of yore. I mean I know the bitches are workin' but they used to make an appearance for a little galevant around the promenade. Where were the so drunk they couldn't see but by God they were gonna use the last of their beer tickets? I know...I just miss the dazed, the confused, and the misguided outfits. That's all. It makes The Fox sad. Pride used to be a guaranteed hang over, possibly multiple sexual encounters of the 3rd, 4th and 5th kind. More illegal substances than you could shake a stick at. And the BEST part was that everyone was SO happy to see their people out in the daylight that they just gave their drugs away! Yes they did, honey, The Fox was there and the recipient of many such gifts. Remember who raised me honey, they taught me how to party correctly and with medically induced stamina. These people would just lose their minds! For a week! There is a reason that Gay Pride is also known as Gay Christmas. It just ain't like it used to be. I ain't sayin' that it isn't one of the most fabulous events of the year. It is the 3rd largest Pride on the planet. It just ain't as fun as it used to be. At least for The Fox.

As the legendary singer of the renowned postmodern punk band Faggot (thank you fucking Jesus for Faggot) said just yesterday, "I just turned 50. I should see more of YOU fuckers doing this."

I sit here in The Twin Titties...awaiting stardom of some sort...awaiting for something to happen for The Fox...for the planet...for humanity...as you can see i am a bit on the existnetial side this morn. I can't help it, that is what coming home from Ms. Exotic World does to The Fox each and every of the three years that we have gone. We go to Vegas, we kick ass, we wow the wowable, we drink, we drug, we schmooze, Mya gets laid three or four times and then we come home. Then The Fox gets depressed and eats a couple of tons of bon bons and it's back to normal. Not this year though. I hate to say this but I feel like I missed out on a lot of rockstardom in Vegas. I missed making out with Miss Astrid, I missed grabbing Tigger's package, I missed the bump and grind party that inevitably occurs after hours and many drinks. What the fuck! Where the fuckity fuck was The Fox's debauchery? Stolen by The Palms!!!Those bastards! First no pasties, then the $12 drinks (fuck you assholes!), then the MTV spring break party, meatheads in madras, bitches in bikinis, and did I mention $12 RAIL drinks!!!! Fuck you assholes! Who do these people think we are? The Fox has spent all of her extra cash on fucking rhinestones, E6000, Silamide and fucking fake fur! How the fuck is The Fox supposed to tie one on with $12 drinks? I mean, I am a PROFESSIONAL! And at that rate it would cost me over $120 just to catch a buzz! Hells to the NO!!! I am so sorry for the early rant but I am just able to talk about this now...I have been traumatized since June 10th and just came out of the self induced drug induced coma.

Now there is something that came out of all of this...I got to watch 40 year olds sneak liquor into a venue for the first time since we all turned 21!! Jesus' Fucking Balls people! It was like the first time I got drunk on blackberry brandy in Sioux Fall SD watching The Hitcher with Jessie Smith and hoping to give him a blow job. But alas he turned out to be gay...I always knew he was way too well dressed...but I digress...The other thing that I got to experience, and this will go down in The Fox's hall of history let me tell you, is that Turan Satana grabbed my ass and I got to hear from Satan's Angel that all she REALLY REALLY wants is a white woman with a black woman's ass. Oh and this wonderful angel of hippidom gave The Fox a fine set of psychedelic mushrooms, some marijuana filled chocolate and the reset of The Fox's faith inhumanity...thank you fucking Jesus that I am not the only one desperately in need of a fat fucking joint.

 

Now I know, I am a roll model, the kids look up to The Fox. I have to set an example for all of the folx of color out there who haven't had the balls to make something of themselves! Do you know HOW sick I am of hearing that! You have NO idea. I mean, who does Mr. Barak Obama think he is? huh? I mean the nerve! Calling The Fox before 10am. Doesn't that seem a bit on the barbaric side...I mean he should KNOW better. Now I accept that things did not end between us as they should have, and as an ex who might be president, I know that I should actually take his calls, but before 10am? He knows that The Fox is either gettin' some or is sleepin' some. It's not like The Fox has a day job ya know! Unacceptable!
You are wondering why the almost Democratic nominee for President is calling The Fox before 10am. And you are thinking that Mr. Obama got himself a wife that he seems more than happy with. There has been no mention of The Fox, and that is the way it is gonna stay. Well there was a time before Michelle. Before he cut his afro. When he still wore Kinte cloth. You know, back in the day, we made all kinds of sense. We had soooo much in common! He is half whitie, and so is The Fox. He is a rags to riches phenom, so is The Fox. He gives great head, so does The Fox. He just couldn't handle a woman of my stature and stardom. He always had to be the one in the limelight. And let me tell you that The Fox don't share the limelight all that well, just ask the Whammies! So I just had to call it quits! It was too hard watching Barak knock his head up against a wall trying to out shine my star, it absolutely broke my heart! He tried novels, ballet, r&b, culinary arts, acting, even spoken word, but to put it honestly he sucked at it all. But ya know, all failed actors end up in politics eventually and Barak seems to be doing well in that arena. We shall see..

But evidently, Mr. Obama wasn't happy with The Fox's fundraising efforts or my efforts at trying to inspire all the little kiddies with my tale of rags to riches. Well fuck people, let me tell you, that A. Fundraising don't pay that well and B. Inspiring kiddies is another phrase that means you be workin' for free. It's for the children! Fuck the children! I have spent my entire life avoiding children, why the hell should I feel the need to inspire them. Why can't they get their own inspiration, huh? I had to get mine. No one came to Vermillion SD to inspire all four of us children of color! Our town was so white we didn't even get DARE until it was obviously too late. You know I was so po' that I didn't even have bootstraps to pull myself up by, ya know what I mean? Jesus H. Christ on a crutch! Does The Fox have to do everything? So, here I am, in Preston Minnesota for fuck's sake, inspiring the kiddies to vote for Mr. Barak "Rude MoFo" Obama. My phone don't work here. I have to drive myself 15miles into the countryto get any sort of reception. I am not fucking kidding. But at least lovely downtown Preston has a coffee shop. It is only open from 10-2. Yep. Haven't had a decent cup of joe in 3 days. 10-2! And they wonder why they can't make enough money to pay the rent. Maybe if you worked some hours you might make some more money for FUCK's sake.
I also haven't heard NPR for 3 days either, so I don't even know how the ex is doin' in Indiana. No they don't have cable at the hotel. At least as far as I can tell. but there is a pool that the night clerk seems to be renting out for sex parties after the official pool hours for guests has ended. Now THAT is what I call ingenuity, THAT is gumption, obviously this lady has been inspired by The Fox! She is making her own way in the world. She is pulling her self up by her G-STRING and is gonna take southern Minnesota by storm...you work it Ms. Thang. The Fox is proud of ya!

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=k-IEUR9LuDQ

This is a fantastic representation of the show that we did with her royal highness Immodesty Blaize in the oh so accommodating UK. Take a gander, we think we all look great! It doesn't get much better than this hotasses!

You know i filed this under dreams and supernatural because i wasn’t sure if i was on mars or not when this occurred...as most of you know, i have been residing in London, England for oh the past 4 days or so and you also know how much i love this place due to the fact that i am treated like i am steven tyler hung over in the late 70’s. that is a good thing incase you didn’t know...but i am here right now to talk about $72 worth of panties. who knew that 6 inches of lace could cost so much. the funny thing is that no one even saw them! no they ended up the crack of my world renowned ass within 37 seconds and were lost to the sight of man. so in my mind that means that is spent $72 on decorating my butt crack and no one saw it...i will say that i am working on that the people seeing it thing but that isn’t going so well either, but that is another story. Let me tell you about them...black and brown lace with satin decorative panels that are reminiscent of the victorian era...an odd choice for The Fox i know...you are thinking that that might be a wee bit too classy, and yes, I thought the same thing. but off to Selfridges we go (sorry if i got that spelled wrong but they will live cuz they are like the super target of spendy). I asked where the trashy panties were and they looked as if i had dealt a silent but deadly in their dressing room. " We don’t have anything trashy, miss" MISS can you believe that. they were offended and then i couldn’t resist asking if there was a frederick’s of hollywood around the corner...i thought the sales lady was gonn lay an egg. but that still doesn’t change the fact that i have a $72 pair of panties...i think i may auction them off on ebay. maybe i can pay 4 them that way...what do you think?

Well hello all of my hateful and adoring and now international fans!!!
The Fox has crossed the pond again and has been put up in even more fabulous digs...wait for it...i am sleeping with international sensation and burlesque goddess Immodesty Blaize! Now, i am gonna say that we are just sleeping...well chatting and comparing notes as to the men that have chased us half way and all the way around the world...exchanging secrets and tips about twirling. What else is a girl supposed to do? So all of you Americans, The Fox will be back in The Twin Titties way too damn soon and right back to work @ Station4. Good God! Have i talked about the fact that whenever we go out and act and work like rock stars and when we come home our fans just let us know that we shouldn’t get to big for our britches? Welll it is true...i know that Minnesotans just don’t want The Fox and TWBTM’s to become self inflated...and that they are just looking out for lil ol me and the ladies...and that we were just lucky and it isn’t gonna happen again and don’t get used to that kind of treatment! Let me tell you...The Fox is definitely looking forward to that. Any ways and hoopdy doo! Gotta go to the venue - look it up and compare to our lovely home in DT Saint Paul www.koko.uk.com just take a look honey and you will see why The Fox will cum in London no matter what!
Hugs and Handjobs all
The Fox on the Run

Well hello there all you hateful and adoring fans! I know it's a little early, but sweet fancy Moses, I am so bored here in the good South Dakota that I am getting plenty of beauty rest going to bed before 10pm. Crazy ain't it? My show doesn't normally START until 10pm. 10pm is when I start thinking about going out in The Twin Titties. My life takes place basically after 9pm. What if that changed? I keep thinking what would happen if I stayed here? What would The Fox become if she actually just decided to give it all up and stay in SD? Would I end up like everyone else here that just can't take it and they try to either sleep it all away or drink it all away or just shoot themselves in the head? I have a friend here and it's all he can do to get up in the afternoon...and he is the cocaine dealer. What if I moved here, opened a little club called The Fox Hole/Den/Lair/Hunt, downtown, with progressive tap beers (it's gotta be cheap) and cheap cocktails and a little bit of T and A, you know, BURLESQUE! Kind of like a college kid/poorman's strip club. It's arty, it's horizon expanding, it shows young men and women about to go out into the civilized world that there is more to it than just doing beer bongs and bong hits. It lets them know that there is a whole wide world out there that is freakier than they ever believed. That there are people out there who don't want to be a part of the pack, they are the lone wolf and there is no holding them down, tying them down or whatever metaphor they want to use. That they ain't in Kansas anymore, not they were in the first place...oh never mind.

Or would it go the other way? I end up with no work except at Hardies or Dairy Queen because there is no place that is calling for the skills that The Fox has spent decades refining. What do you mean there is no one that needs classes in how to twirl their tassels? You don't DO rhinestones? Well, maam I whoop wigs and beat face and lip synch to old funk songs while I take my clothes off. It's an art form where I come from. Obviously there isn't going to be a lot of work in town. And what if I couldn't get laid? I know that that is hard to fathom but i am trying to lay down the worst case scenario, but it is possible. Oh contraire you say, in disbelief. How could The Fox NOT get laid? Come here and you shall see! The cocaine dealer you say? I say he is a cocaine dealer and not good for much else if ya know what I mean? Ah the bartenders, the natural allies of the performer? Let me tell you about the bartenders here. I went to high school with most of them and they haven't changed...at all. They are still chasing after 18 year old pussy that wouldn't have anything to do with them then and they aren't now. It is hard for a blackish girl with dominant tendancies and a luscious intimidating ass to get a little from men who have only seen black women in National Geographic. As you can see, it would b e a living hell.

Well shit, I have to go open presents! Lordy wish me luck here. Goddess I need a bong hit....

Good Goddess people! Is this fucking horror show of a season going to be over any time soon? Jesus' balls! As you can see, The Fox has been run ragged with all the requests for appearances, autographs, pictures, radio spots...you name it some one wants The Fox to do it! It's "The Holidays"! You gotta make hay while the sun shines sez Mama Tann! Fuck that sez Foxy Tann! Can I get a good night's sleep? Fuck no! Can I get last nights impressions of my fishnets off of my ass before i have to put them back on? Fuck no! My dogs are barking and my cheeks are squeakin'! The Holidays are some of the busiest times of the year for The Fox and The Wham Bams...that is after Black History Month...and that is just around the corner! You see, it never ends for a regionally renowned star! Especially one with the cross cultural appeal of The Fox. Now I understand that I shouldn't be bitchin' here, because quite honestly it could go to hell in a handbasket and The Fox could be left holding the bag. You see, investment has to be made once in a while and you have to bet, hope, pray that it pays off. New numbers, new costumes, new chatter, and maybe just maybe some new gags...no good if you ain't got no gigs! Right? But damn do there have to so damn many? I mean, I know we need the work, but dang! Take a look at my calendar...you will understand of what I speak!

I speak of The Horrors of the holidays...happy times my ass...stress, zits, sickness, creeping miasma, dread, driving long distances to weird places to hang out with people who don't smoke pot and don't know what a greyhound is! Going to a city that as far as The Fox is concerned is the armpit of the universe. Going to a place where not only are all the people white, the food is all white. Stuffing shouldn't be ALL white! Snicker salad? Do you know what this is? This is whole 'nother topic that i just can't get into right now or my blood pressure will spike and we don't want that. I just want to go to the Virgin Islands and trollop about as only The Fox can...I want to lay about and have Raul fan me and feed me bon bons that have no discernable calories. I want the perfectly comfortable pair of 4 inch platforms that a girl can dance in to appear in my closet in 14 different colors and glitters that match everything perfectly.

I DON'T want to go to Sioux City!!!